#crip life

[thanergetic-hyperlinks]

(for the first time since I opened this blog, my queue is empty, because ME/CFS is kicking my disabled ass and I can barely keep up with work or life or my own healthcare)

(but I have, I shit you not, 170+ drafts waiting to be tagged and lined up so tomorrow the blog should be functioning again)

(there's Discourse and Analysis for weeks, TLT truly is an endless spring)

(yes of course the obsessive TLT blog is run by a disabled neurodivergent gay, what else is new)

[breechingbaby]

OEEWEEEE I'm gonna need a wheelchair ToNIght

[firespirited]

I love how you completely fail to realize oppression is a pyramid built upon different levels of bigotry. So because disabled people are abused, disabled people shouldn’t care about abelist language that has been historically used to dehumanize us? Why should women care then about equal pay when women are murdered? Why care about anything but the absolute worst of oppression? Way to spit in the fucking face of disabled people, you wouldn’t dare use this reasoning for other forms of oppression but because it’s disabled people y’all are more then happy to disregard our activism and struggles 🙄 even if you’re disabled you’re still throwing the rest of us under the bus

I consider policing the language of fellow disabled and ill people to the extreme to be a waste of their precious energy and refuse to label people as bad for using common words with little relation to disability. You probably missed the original twitter thread as it got deleted but it included stupid, idiot, aspergers, mute, lame, empathy and "touch grass". There are reasonable limits, things we tag for one another, ways we talk about one another and ways we talk about ourselves to abled folks. I can and do dare use this reasoning for other forms of oppression because we don't treat other minorities like babies, we ask and listen before making assumptions about what words and expressions bother them.

My whole point was that the world has used very polite language to enable the death of many of us this past 18 months, me and mine came close. In over 30 years, I have seen the language change several times but not the sentiment that we aren’t full 3D human beings worthy of life and not expendable.

So to hell with the pyramid right now, call me the r word and a worthless leech but make sure my ICU bed doesn't go to someone with a better "quality of life" because millions of ableds thought masks and not eating out was a little uncomfortable.

You clearly havn't been following for long and you have no idea of my struggles or activism and I don't owe you any explanation. Here's the deal: I will not be policing my friends’ language because they said "oh that's crazy" or "lame ass policy" or "feeling derpy today" or "dumb dumb brain" or "I was so aspie today" and you can go ahead and block me or any other bad cripple that throws other cripples under the language oppression bus ok?

[firespirited]

I did a reroot on 'dimples' yesterday after finishing Frankie's parting (now for bleachment but with hair protection to avoid discolouration) and it does not look right, the pale blue looks like grey hair so I'm going to shift the parting and make the darker blue dominant and give her a better hairline in back. Well once my arm heals a little again. I strained it using too tight a wrist bandage and so I made my own makeshift CMC brace until another arrives. The idea is to keep the bottom of the thumb from drifting across the palm whenever gripping things so thumb splints that merely immobilize the bending of the thumb do nothing. Dog photo of Lily's face when she realises she's against heat generating soft pillow human, she turns to mush. 🌸🌸🌸

[firespirited]

Look I get that OP of that twitter thread is autistic and meant well but seriously it’s been 18 months of being expendable “high riskers”, having hospitals prioritize resources based on “quality of life” and watching all those accessibility options we begged for and were told were impossible suddenly materialize but with the understanding that soon “everything goes back to normal”. Any minority knows words and phrases have nothing on institutional power, words only carry strength if they still have the weight of all sorts of systems to back up insult with injury. I can switch on my TV and watch people say the n word without ever saying the n word, show the graphic assault of a black person and uncritically repeat police statements. Same goes for every disabled person watching an anti masker or anti lockdown person argue their case while the care-home death stats scroll on screen like we don’t know what they mean when they talk about  “acceptable risk” or use outright eugenics or nazi language. I mean I’ve seen left wing news sources use politically correct language to victim blame people of colour and the poor for being in worse health + be fatphobic + imply race, class and intellect are linked for not trusting the medical establishment to act in their best interest + gaslight that previous point because it’s not distrust but lack of access that’s driving low vaccination and testing rates... they call us degenerate fat worthless lazy fucks all in the same nice politely worded breath and make policy accordingly. so words? words are the least of it.

[firespirited]

I have not seen Saint Maud, i will not be watching Saint Maud. I was going to because the thought of Jennifer Ehle playing a terminal cancer patient with wit and bitterness is incredibly compelling. So I watched reviews to spoil myself first. It’s a fascinating character drama, the unreliable narrator and the faith as obsession and discipline/penitence/suffering as virtue taken to extremes is absolutely right up my alley, something that’s always intrigued me from early childhood being confronted with imagery of pain and of sacrifice as the most sacred purpose. I won’t be watching Saint Maud. because the real horror is in everything unsaid, everything the reviewers leave out and the story not told, the way amanda’s hair loss will make you uncomfortable and how much prettier she looks in fake lashes and blush. To be cared for by someone who reviles your weakness, who feels pity and disgust at times but mostly a reflection of their own mortality and fragility in your body, your wavering voice. You feel it; how glad they are to not be you. You feel it more; when they believe you should be somehow working towards not being weak or not being. The real horror story is to be disabled at the mercy of a fanatic. Scratch that. To be cared for by a normal person with perfectly normal ableism in a normal ableist world is a horror story. To be cared for by someone with a teeny tiny amount of faith, whether it’s in willpower, karma, growth from suffering or god having a purpose for each life is hell. I know it’s not the point of the movie, of course it’s not the point. I just can’t watch it because of the the job she does, in any other context, yes! Because Jennifer Ehle deserves a horror movie about the tedium of waiting for death without any trust in what lies beyond and being attended to by someone who thinks all pain must have meaning. And all we get are shitty pro euthanasia flicks if it’s shown from the sick person’s side at all.

Maud hears the voice of god in a cockroach and the devil in Amanda. I thought this might be acerbic irony until I remembered the insect of Kafka’s Metamorphosis is never named. The presumption is cockroach not scarab despite dung beetle being in the text. Ain’t that something to chew on.

[chaoticstarlightpainter]

Pop Smoke Forever

[chairhere]

The worst part of growing up is having to find adult doctors. You cannot change my mind.