Spartacus: Blood and Sand Rewatch - Episode 5: Shadow Games
Sex Scene: omg not a single sex scene!!
“Cock”: 7
“Cunt”: 1
“Kill Them All”: 0
Whip Cracks: 3
Slow motion Face Punch: 2
Memorable Death: Theokoles, duh.
Favourite Line: “You fucking haemorrhoid sucking fuck”
- They all still calling Spartacus “rabbit”, I wish someone had mentioned this in like S3, that would have been so great.
- Aww no, Pietros going to give Gnaeus water tears my heart. He was too good for this world, literally.
- “Jupiter’s cock”!!!!!! I get way too excited about hearing these words!
- Lucretia always looks fan-fucking-tastic then Quintus looks like such tasteless loser, he really had no fashion sense especially compared to his gorgeous wife.
- Okay when I first saw the pound of flesh I thought they transferred the mark onto a pig or something….but I’m pretty sure that’s the actual guy’s shoulder….so super gross.
- Eating maggots, oh god I’m gonna be sick, it’s too gross.
- Lucretia and Quintus are so in love, it’s almost sickening.
- “Examine my wares”, slaves are things not people.
- Everyone’s “oh shit” faces
- Oh! I was wrong about the one armed slave, here he is again
- Barca draping himself all over Crixus, I love it.
- “Prepare them for a glorious death,” like he doesn’t care that his best fighters are about to die, dude really?
- Okay someone has been giving Crixus lessons on flirting, boy’s game is strong!! I’m a little weak kneed from the way he looks at Naevia, oh boy.
- NOOOOOO Barca making his bet, noooooooo, my heart can’t take this
- I love how one moment Barca is typical angry brute Barca but then it’s like he remembers he’s talking to his boyfriend and everything about him softens. It’s beautiful.
- Oh god, background Gnaeus checking out Pietros, fuuuuuuck.
- Oh, now they mention the title of last week’s episode, couldn’t they have done that during the ep!
- Seriously Lucretia you are no subtle.
- Oenomaus is so BAMF I can’t even deal
- Knowing that Ilithyia is a manipulative person I’m wondering if all this bimbo nonsense is just a manipulation?????
- “I fight to honour these walls, you fight to leave them,” = basically the whole issue between Spartacus and Crixus right there.
- Oh wow. Crixus talking about Spartacus dreaming about his wife and saying she’s been fucked into madness……Foreshadow much? It actually hurts though, he has no idea the pain his words inflict, until someone like Agron says them to him later on.
- Naked wrestling. When I first saw this I thought it was incredibly homoerotic, now I’m thinking it’s way past erotic and just full blown homosexual. I mean really?? C’mon!
- Seriously give Crixus all the kudo’s, he’s probably the most sexually assaulted character on the show and everyone just brushes it aside because he’s male.
- Penis!
- “Can you survive this?” for some reason that line really speaks to me.
- Spartacus reaching out to touch Batiatus was a massive move, like holy hell you can feel the tension in the room
- Just when I was worried no one was going to say “cunt” in this episode, good old Batiatus spouts off his usual colourful phrases.
- “I will have satisfaction”, I hate that line, it’s so full of cheese
- When Doctore removes his breast plate I was so hoping for something gruesome and amazing, but his neat scars were seriously underwhelming.
- Oh gosh, I want to cry. They just want a baby so badly.
- Ugh I hated that Ilithyia wanted to stay for the ritual. Seriously, give a woman some privacy.
- Ah, the penis candle.
- Ovidious’ son wears a necklace that looks an awful lot like the slave collar…except his is ya know, gold….. Actually the Magistrate and his family have the same necklace… What does it mean????
- I hate men like Batiatus, that command people to do unimaginable things but would never do the act themselves. I call them cowards.
- Crixus is so up himself
- The fact that Crixus has been able to get an erection for Lucretia at all astounds me.
- So apparently oral wasn’t a big thing back in ancient Rome and the act of a noble woman doing such to a slave is unimaginable. It just wouldn’t happen. This is for the benefit of the modern culture.
- Did Crixus and Naevia have sex? Wouldn’t that be her first time??
- Aw I love the promises between Varro and Spartacus. True brothers, following out the others cause.
- Crixus fighting for Naevia instead of glory, I love it so much
- I realised the Magistrate isn’t calling out their last names or whatever but he’s actually stating the style in which they fight. Ah the things you learn when you plummet to the depths of fandom
- “Shall we begin”!!!!!!!!!!!
- Barca posing, again.
- Theokoles entrance was so extra!
- Hey, he stole Crixus’ line
- Fucking Ashur
- THE SHIELD JUMP!!
- Crixus shoving organs back inside himself, super gross
- Crixus never seems overly smart but that helmet trick was genius.