#cross-oriented

[raspberry-vari]

Happy Pride Month!

[queer-coloured-glasses]

Variship : new relationship term!

A vari-relationship or variship for short is a relationship where the people involved don’t feel the same type of attraction(s) toward each other. I coined it with having in mind :

- aromantic people in relationship with alloromantic people (not aromantic),

- asexual people in relationship with allosexual people (not asexual),

- aroace people in relationship with allo people (not aromantic nor asexual), 

- varioriented people in relationship with perioriented people (varioriented means your romantic and sexual orientation don’t match, while perioriented means they do match). 

- relationship anarchists and polyamorous people that may have unconventional relationships,

- any other relationship where all the partners are ok to have a relationship while not sharing the same type of attraction(s) toward each other.

Examples of variships :

- X is aromantic bisexual and Y is biromantic bisexual (alloromantic). X feels platonic and sexual attractions for Y, while Y feels romantic and sexual attraction for X.

- X is asexual homoromantic and Y is gay (allosexual). X feels aesthetic and romantic attraction for Y, while Y feels sexual and romantic attraction for X.

- X is a biromantic heterosexual girl (varioriented) and Y is a lesbian (perioriented). X feels romantic attraction for Y, while Y feels romantic and sexual attraction for X.

- X and Y are both relationship anarchists. X feels romantic attraction for Y and Y feels queerplatonic attraction for Y. They don’t feel the need to make their relationship more “conventional” or try to fit it into a box, and it’s cool for them.

The key idea behind variships is that the partners are cool with having a relationship somewhat unconventional, out of the amatonormative romantico-sexual traditionnal relationship that society expects. 

A variship can include any relationship elements or not : romantic stuff, sexual intimacy, queerplatonic-like stuff, etc. It’s all up to the people involved ! For instance, an asexual person with an allosexual person are in a variship, but they may or may not have sex. 

The prefix “vari” is derived from the word “varioriented” since it means having mismatched attractions, I just figured I would take an already known prefix in order not to have too many complicated and confusing prefixes out there, plus variships are coined with varioriented and a-spec people in mind, so I thought it fits perfectly!

Variship is a word that can be useful for people who struggle to fit their relationship into labels like “romantic” and “queerplatonic” (etc.) because there’s a mismatch between partners. 

Also, people that are in a variship may or may not be in a wavership too, these are not incompatible. It’s when the nature of your relationship is fluid : sometimes it’s romantic, sometimes it’s not, etc. It might be because one or both partners have a fluid orientation, or because one partner has a fluctuating romance-repulsion or sex-repulsion, etc. For more info : @wavership

[crazyalien87]

random personal rant

So, the other day, my friends asked whether I prefer girls or boys...(they know I’m bi.)  I got so nervous and wasn’t sure what to answer. It’s because romantically I don’t actually have a preference, but sexually, I’m not attracted to boys. But romance matters more to me, so should I say I don’t have a preference? But I feel like I would be more likely to date a girl because if I date a guy I would worry that I probably wouldn’t want to have sex with him and he would dump me...or never date me in the first place.

So I told them I prefer girls.

[raspberry-vari]

[ID: A varioriented pride flag with the words "Happy Pride Month!" on it in big white letters.]

[raspberry-vari]

A rant about RESPECT.

In general, you should respect that someone knows their own gender and sexuality better than anyone else.

For example, if your friend came out to you as bi, it would be very rude if you replied with "well, you're actually just gay and just afraid to come out." It would be rude because it would mean that you didn't respect that your friend knows more about their sexuality than you.

You should have the same respect for anyone else. It doesn't effing matter if their identity is mogai, rare, "cringy," ace, aro, split attraction model, etc. or something you can't understand. People know more about their own sexuality and gender than you do and you should f*king respect that.

And DON'T use stupid reasoning to say that certain groups are exempt from this rule. No one's sexuality or gender is less deserving of basic respect and decency than others just for being rare.

We're people too, and we deserve respect.

[raspberry-vari]

Low poly version of @aroatem 's varioriented flag.

[crazyalien87]

biromantic homosexual problems #4

wondering if you’re actually biromantic bisexual and afraid of straight sex

[crazyalien87]

biromantic homosexual problems #3

my friend: who is your crush?

me: that guy I sit next to in math class

my friend: Oh I know him. He’s so pretty!

me: Yeah!!!

friend: and hot!

me: ...umm...yeah...

my thoughts: what?!??? how is he hot I don’t understand??!?!?!