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Rowena's recurring dream???

WHOA OKAY.

BACK UP.

So you're telling me that, although she's dragging her feet and being a grumpy gills, Rowena dreams about a NICE HOUSE LIKE THIS:

With nice furniture like THIS? (White furniture at that… white!) And ginger-fucking-bread-houses?!

With rugs and carpets and a crackling hearth?

With Crowley acting like the eight-year-old boy she left in the dust?

With a full little PENGUIN family overlooking the scene in the bottom right?

with a STACK FULL OF PRESENTS????

HOLY CRAP.

It's still cold outside sometimes, but it's always warm inside.

And oh. Sam.

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FOR MONTHS?!

RO. ROWENA. RO-RO.

(She wonders, perhaps, what her life would've been like if she's lived in THIS time, if Crowley had been born in today's modern world...)

Would they have a HOUSE? Would there be PLENTY?

#spn 11x10 #rowena stuff #crowley stuff #the macleod class entanglement #in the land of plenty etc etc #white furniture and white rugs are the domain of people who hire house cleaners ugh #rowena never wears her roots #her scottish plaid #AND YET SHE IS WEARING THAT PLAID HERE EVEN IF IT'S IN COSTUME OMG #OH I'M GOING TO THROW UP #all her power and she never got what she REALLY wanted: a do-over

Crowley at his most adorable?

Know what it is?

It’s when he’s saving Sam from Gadreel. He’s so almost unnaturally squeaky and fidgety and nervous in Sam’s mental space. And you’d think it wasn’t purposeful… but Mark S plays it almost the EXACT same way during the Cas rescue attempt.

I feel like we’re watching a de-evolution of Crowley into Fergus, the boy!

#crowley stuff #that’s his most real most adorable self right there #the second most adorable is when he launches into macleod *wee sing song* mode #he hangs out with cas and is so happy to have a friend he sings #same with dean and high ho the dairy oh a hunting we will go #you can REALLY see at those moments how he IS rowena’s son #and gavin’s father #fergus is more gavin core than he’d like to admit #the macleod family #rats that survive #and are also adorable sometimes #please someone be their friends

At first, Cas is sympathetic to Rowena.

He thinks WOW no wonder she's like THIS:

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Then!

He actually seems to change his mind. He seems in near disbelief that Rowena doesn't love Crowley.

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Cas has sympathy for Crowley's plight now:

Cas's brain begins to say: Maybe I had it backwards. Maybe Rowena is why HE is like THIS

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And later with Rowena...

In the script, Cas invokes the LOVE OF A CHILD. SPECIFICALLY.

He gives her a sympathetic smile, because in this moment, he feels wiser than she. He's BEEN the ambitious company man, the military-minded man, COMPLETELY sundered from his own emotions.

He sees her nihilism with a level of understanding that Rowena probably couldn't even comprehend.

He tries to tell AU Michael something similar in, funnily enough, an episode titled Nihilism:

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And yet!

In the next moment, Cas helps facilitate the sacrifice of "Rowena's child."

AUGH!

From Cas's POV, he's allowing the sacrifice of this man to prevent the losses of boys like the Styne kid, and to prevent Dean from murdering the world, and... it's a delicious bit of hypocrisy. This is Cas's old pattern of the greater good, the angelic soldier doing what he thinks is best in this moment. (Even if internally, like he told Sam, everything in him is screaming, "This is a mistake, Sam!")

And Rowena? Rowena wants her own freedom (from Sam's boot).

And Crowley? Crowley is enticed by revenge. As soon as Cas reveals that Rowena has to kill something she loves (and it's been shown by this point that Crowley already knows about Oskar), he says "I'm in."

And so. Crowley becomes his worst self again, killing innocents and going after Seth the way Lucifer went after humans:

Cas didn't know about "Seth," exactly... even if he knew of Oskar.

Crowley has been sitting on Oskar, waiting for just the right time to inflict on Rowena maximum pain and revenge. And he's so excited to watch her crumble.

He's a little bit like Lucifer at the end of season 13, so lacking in love that he delights in making people who love each other KILL each other.

Rejected by Rowena, Crowley goads her to kill the son she loves. Just like Lucifer, rejected by Jack, goads Jack to kill the father he loves:

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Like Cas's war on Heaven/Raphael in season 6, and like Amara's destructive rampage against Chuck in season 11, most of Crowley's actions in season 10 have more to do with his family than Dean.

It's not as simple as, "I did it, all of it for you," or "all that I've done for you the past six months."

It digs even deeper. Cas becomes God-like to inflict punishment and a firm hand on Heaven, and Crowley becomes Luciferian to exact his revenge on Rowena.

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Anyway, the point is! Cas starts to understand that maybe Crowley is what he is because of his tragic circumstances, and maybe he doesn't blame Crowley anymore.

You know, like how Rose was like SHE was because of her parental wound:

The thing is, that Rose and Crystal are like Dean and Crowley. Dean's unstable home life drove him to desperation, and Crowley led him straight to his own doom, straight to Cain.

And yeah, I've seen Dean compared to Rose before. But also... Crowley is also like Rose... and Crystal.

What Rowena did to Crowley led him into a workhouse. He died drunk in an alleyway, preyed upon by a demon.

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And Sam feels like maybe he owes Dean, that it's his responsibility to help Dean because he benefited so much from Dean's sacrifices. Sam feels like he pushed Dean to the brink, just like this brother feels like he pushed his sister to the brink:

"So you didn't bother to tell the cops that, even when your sister turned up dead?"

"I was sort of the one who brought them out there in the first place."

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There's so much complicated family stuff there!

(Not super coherent, but I had a lot of thoughts, okay?)

I think it definitely has implications for Chuck, too. This theme unites Crowley, Lucifer, and Chuck in a delicious, delicious way:

When Dean doesn't do what Chuck wants him to do, his manner of speaking mirrors how Crowley speaks to the rebellious Demon Dean, saying to Sam: invoking barbs like "crazy" and "stupid:"

While characters like Dean, Mary, and Cas occasionally go berserker and hurt the very things they were trying to protect, it is rarely out of spite.

Godstiel hurt Sam but started the season trying to protect Sam (rescuing him from the cage)!

Demon Dean turns on Sam, when Sam is the thing he's tried all his life to protect.

Mary didn't want to become the Natural Born Killer version herself, NBK!Mary... When she went to the Men of Letters, she wanted to put a stop to evil once and for all, protecting her children and giving them a free future.

Jack isn't like this either. When he learns he "isn't family," that he "isn't loved," he doesn't behave like Lucifer. He's more like Dean, throwing himself into the cause.

ANYWAY. I just think it's interesting.

#spn 10x23 #soldierhood is called male whoredom for a reason #but with dean and crowley and sex trafficking in hell the metaphor sure seems to be draw more specifically #crowley as crystal #the macleod family #the macleod class entanglement #should i add chuck to ambition #to the triad of sam rowena crowley?#now i start to wonder #amara said there WAS no father #but for chuck there was loneliness #like crowley's absence of love #chuck stuff #crowley stuff #rowena stuff #lucifer stuff #or maybe chuck sees a prominent story where he's sacrificed by his father so easily and he HATES he it's the other way around #is out to prove that ALL fathers will sacrifice their sons if he just presses them hard enough #and so

Not Crowley worrying about Sam, despite everything

Sam is SUCH a bitch and Crowley LIKES him

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#spn 11x09 #crowley stuff #spn 11x10

Crowley is so desperate for friends that he's talking to Rowena's mortal enemy, one that transformed into a hamster.

And yes, it's a strategic conversation, him trying to get dirt on her, but

OH GOD I LOVE HIM HE IS A DISNEY PRINCESS

And ain't that a bitch. Ambition--work. It never sleeps.

#spn 10x21 #crowley stuff

Crowley REALLY had a good beat on Chuck:

So far, as a writer, God's a snooze. No fun at parties, I hear.

And Metatron:

The scribe... and suck-up. Took down God's word, picked up his cleaning.

8x07

#chuck stuff #metatron stuff #crowley stuff

Demon: Your tea is ready. Crowley: Finally. Rowena: That does sound lovely. Demon: How do you take it? Rowena & Crowley [in unison]: Honey and a splash of milk.

#spn 11x10 #rowena stuff #SCREAM #crowley stuff

anon, i think it would’ve gone quite badly for him; after all, lucifer was caged/vanquished… until he reached for more power to secure his hell position. (he also wanted personal, petty revenge on lucifer… and that was… ugly.)

he was forgiven in a lot of ways by virtue of his sacrifice (a la revenge-corrupted john)

#crowley stuff #that said #i do think rowena would have a mixed reaction #and crowley would perhaps find himself sucking up to the other hated person in their circle: jack kline #after all crowley knows what it’s like to be scapegoat child #but yeah… his lucifer gambled burned enough bridges that sam was the one urging dean not to kill him #and with cas gone and mary dead?#yeah he’s gonna get some fallout blame that’s ugly as fuck #and crowley’s nervous breakdown was imho mostly connected to the loss of gavin #letting gavin down failing to protect him loving him #if he met jack earlier i think jack would slot into that void for him #he might even lead jack astray in taking on asmodeus and/or opening the rift #but crowley’s going to be firmly in outsider status #potentially w some sympathy from sam and rowena of all ppl #due to their shared fear of lucifer #i think rowena will trend towards angry since crowley ruined her caging of lucifer #but she’d understand the need for power #but overall w respect to crowley it’s easier to have sympathy for his power grab BECAUSE he’s dead