#cryptid doc

[sad-boy-hank]

Scrapes: Hey, this actually tastes pretty good! What's in it?

Sheriff: Half a can of Redbull, a 5-hour-energy, a shot of espresso, and two crushed-up Adderall pills.

Scrapes:

Doc: We call it "Fuck You".

[sad-boy-hank]

[sad-boy-hank]

cryptids go brrrrrrrrrr

~~~~

Doc: Damn, sorry boss, can't come into work today.

Auditor: Why?

Doc: I have to track down and kill my ex.

~~~~

Jeb: Hi, I'm Dr. Christoff. Have you or a loved one been injured in an accident?

Scrapes: . . . Uh, no-

Jeb: Sucks to be you, I guess.

~~~~

Doc: What are you dri-

Sheriff: Battery acid.

~~~~

Cigar: *literally just trying to relax*

Deimos, waddling into the house: You better watch out, you better watch out, you better watch out, YOU BETTER WATCH-

~~~~

Photographer: FUCK YOU Melanie! I have TWO HOT MONSTER BOYFRIENDS AND A PAIR OF MONSTER WIVES AND THEY WILL WRECK YOUR SHIT!

~~~~

Sheriff: Welcome to the British Museum!

*he cocks his pistol*

Sheriff: You can't leave.

~~~~

Sanny: Oh, dear, oh dear, oh gorgeous-

~~~~

Church and Jorge, pointing at Sheriff: Little baby! Little baby man! Little baby baby man! BABY!

~~~~

Tricky, busting down the door: FUCK YOU ALL

Uldwell: Oh lawd he comin'

~~~~

Doc: So, uh. . . I've never, y'know, killed someone before. . . how do I hide the body?

Crackpot: Bitch I'm a doctor, not a mortician.

Doc:

Crackpot: Let's toss it in the lake.

~~~~

Heavy Duty: Alright, I'm gonna get something to ea-

*they see Deimos standing on the counter*

Deimos:

Heavy Duty: I can see you-

Deimos: No you can't.

~~~~

Photographer: Everyone, this is called a "yeet."

Phobos, Typhon, Hera, and Eris: Yeet? Yeet? Yeet? Yeet?

[sad-boy-hank]

EVERYONE SHUT UP I FINALLY DREW HIM

[sad-boy-hank]

[sad-boy-hank]

Cryptid AU Sheriff and Doc but it’s observing them like a documentary

“And here we have two creatures of the same species, both naturally dumbasses, and in their natural habitat. We can see Sheriff on his knees and hands, crawling towards the mound that houses the Leechman, nicknamed Hank. Opposite of him, we can see Doc approaching the mound from the other side, a tranquilizer gun in hand. As the sneakily approach the mound, we can hear growling from the inside, and just peak at the bright red eyes of the Leechman. It seems ready to attack.”

*cue sounds of violence and those two dying*

“Goddamnit you fucking idiots.”

NECDHWIUNRHVRBN EXACTLY LMAO

SHERIFF WOULD TOTALLY CRAWL AROUND

he probably covers himself in mud aswell to "mask his scent" and doc just watches him

[sad-boy-hank]

Cryptid! Doc and Sheriff would go absolutely n u t s over their normal counterparts. Like, you're so fucking lame? I'm keeping you. you're my son now.

[sad-boy-hank]

I don't know why but the thought of some kind of grizzled stereotypical monster hunter finding out about the cryptid organization is funny to me. Like they hear about this one place where folks are investigating monsters and goes there for one reason or another (maybe a bit of monster slaying) and just finding out that the expectations of fellow serious or practical hunters is just shattered as he sees the dumbasses running the place.

ONCWJONHDSN LMAO- they hope that at least maybe the leader is competent but no, Aud's cozying up next to Burnout for a nice cuddle while Tricky kills Doc for the eighth time this week. Scrapes is desperately trying to get Hunter to get to the kitchen to avoid the chaos, and Sheriff is asking Hunter if they've fucked any of the monsters they've encountered. Hell world.