#cursed artifact

[vexwerewolf]

Three decades of consuming fantasy and horror fiction have taught me that you cannot, I repeat, CANNOT let that thing touch even a drop of human blood

[sea-of-machines]

look at this amazing thing I crafted

[mathletfoox]

I hope you appreciate this shrinky dink I made in school like a whole month ago lmao

And yes my teacher had to look at this THING and she showed some popular girl it and we all watched it shrivel up in the oven

This art teacher can’t see these spies the same anymore🥹

[rockstar-vamp]

I carry the cursed artifact around with me btw

[told-premium]

Blahäj is a magical cursed item that is stealing all of my idgaf-ness and masculinity and replacing it with love and whimsy and laser based violence

[trayzen-the-infinite]

American history as according to a Japanese man

In Meji era Japan their was a “historian” of questionable quality that decided to write down the history of America and it is cooler than actual American History. For instance did you know that Benjamin Franklin was basically White Beard and was a leader of a band of pirates. He was so jacked and muscular that he could hold and fire a canon with his bare hands.

And here is the Legendary Beast Slayer John Adams. Slaying a giant snake who consumed his mother after climbing a mountain and being given a Divine Eagle to help him slay the beast.

I bet you’re curious about George Washington. Well buckle up because as is tradition for Japanese history you must know his lineage. His grandfather was named Americus Washington, and his father was Murica Washington and his mother named Herina Washington. (People who totally exist don’t question it)

Well Merica and Herina were servants to the Queen of England but then Englands most precious Treasure was destroyed "the jewel of nocturnal light" they were blamed for its destruction but where actually set up by the evil retainer of the Queen and his was named “Furore” (again this man totally existed and the jewel was totally real)

It is then that it is revealed George Washington is from a family of demon hunters and on their journey to their exile in America Washington's parents fight a demon-man named “Shimane of Harumata" along the way. George Washington at age 18 defeats a two-headed demon that was troubling a village. On the way home from defeating the demon Washington sees a lady "Carol" being assaulted by bandits and rescues her. Washington is accosted by a mysterious masked man whom he fights. It turns out that the masked men is Carol brother, Ben Franklin. After their fight Franklin now recognises Washington as a really strong man and they take an oath of fraternity to be “blood brothers”

Franklin also meets John Adams after his snake slaying mission with his magic Eagle and Franklin in a show of his awesome Power grabs a whole cannon with his hands and fires it at a large rock formation and destroys it. They bond over their super masculine vigor and Franklin tells the story of how Washington once beat up a tiger with his bare hands. Adams is impressed by the stories of the Demon Slayer named Washington and decides to meet him. Thus they become a band of unstoppable badasses

Here’s a picture of George Washington single handedly defeating General Cornwallis.

This is when George Washington defeated a general of the British Empire named Asura. As you can see George Washington can dual wield a rifle and a sword.

Also The British commanded armies of Demons which probably explains that super evil sounding artifact in the beginning of the story. At one point George Washington slayed a Sea Serpent summoned by the British and there were some Spider Monsters- but I think that was unrelated.

[steel-and-fire]

Session snippet: Touching the Cursed bell

And rolling 4 on the saving throw...with advantage...twice....

[scenicphoenix]

Cursed artifact: Heart of Burn

A ruby pendant/amulet carved into an anatomically accurate heart that is always warm to the touch and sometimes even too hot to hold. You cannot take it out of your inventory once you’ve picked it up.

fire and poison damage at random intervals of both damage (between 1/10) and time (or if you eat/drink something acidic get random damage amounts instantly)