A Slice in the Life of the Boyfriend of the Daughter of the most eccentric Billionaire's Family of the northern Hemisphere (or The Day Felix arrived late, met his Girlfriend's Brothers and didn't get to drink his Tea)
Summary: Meeting your girlfriend's family is never exactly easy.
AO3 | Masterlist
Meeting your girlfriend's family is never exactly easy. But if your girlfriend is the long lost and only recently found daughter of the probably most eccentric billionaire in the northern hemisphere and has a gaggle of siblings who sounded absolutely crazy from the things she mentioned casually alone, meeting the family wasn’t just an awkward event. Felix felt like an emissary of an ancient kingdom being sent into enemy territory to propose an alliance which would ask the enemy kingdom to give up their most-beloved treasure.
But being a Graham de Vanily meant not to be intimidated by anyone. Not by his uncle in his disturbing villain costume, not by a crime-ridden city and it’s just as crazed rogues and vigilantes, not even by Marinette’s temper. She rarely lost it, but if she did, he really didn’t want to be in her way. She was just as creative with torture as she was with her designing and if he was really honest with himself, he was absolutely intimidated by her, even if he wouldn’t ever admit it.
He felt this shouldn’t count. She was Ladybug! Freaking everyone was intimidated by Ladybug! At least everyone who saw that one video in which she verbally took apart the Justice League for getting involved without coordinating with the heroes of Paris and almost costing them everything. They were lucky Red Robin and his team warned them and helped them with a plan to counter the adult heroes. He would never forget the way Nightwing looked like a plucked chicken after she was done with them.
At least something good came out of this: With the Titans they gained allies with a serious disregard for boundaries and they were able to learn that his uncle was the weirdo whose hobby it was to possess teenagers and meddle in their petty teenage dramas. Well, he was glad. Had he chosen competent people the heroes would have had a harder time defeating him. Felix wished he could say he was as surprised by his uncle’s hobby as his cousin was, but the truth was that it made too much sense. Honestly, he felt slightly offended to be related to that man, even if it was through the marriage of his aunt.
At least today he would only meet the family’s butler, four of her five brothers and her father. Her foster brother Duke and her sister Cassandra were unavailable.
His chauffeur finally arrived at the gate to the Wayne property. On the way there from the high-class penthouse he and his mother rented for their stay - they were debating finding a more permanent residence, since Marinette would spent a lot more time here and his mother fell in love with the architecture and wanted to make at least one movie here - he had felt like every single traffic light had turned red just as they got there which meant he wasn’t a bit early or perfectly on time. No. He was late. His father had taught him the importance of punctuality. “Being on time is being late,” Gustav Graham de Vanily always said, “but at least you’re technically on time so you might be forgiven if you apologize. But it’s always better to be a few minutes early. But don’t be too early, that’s just as impolite as being too late. Always plan with some spare time, you can always wait outside until it would be acceptable for you to ring the bell. And if you still can’t make it, at least call!”
Well, his father probably didn’t expect that an angry Poison Ivy would rip up almost all streets between his penthouse and Bristol just as he got into the car. Neither would he expect the traffic lights to conspire against him. At least he did call ahead and talked to the Butler, Mr. Pennyworth, who seemed understanding, but also sounded very reserved. Obviously a fellow englishman.
When the car stopped in front of the imposing manor Felix took a moment to take a deep breath and make sure he looked presentable and that his kwami Krrah was still carefully hidden inside his waistcoat. The crow wanted to come along, so they could hang out with the other kwamis in Marinette’s room.
Then he took the flower bouquet he brought as a hospitality gift. Marinette had told him how much pride Mr. Pennyworth took in his cooking and baking and he knew from her parents in Paris that in this case bringing any food would be inappropriate.
Mr. Pennyworth, at least Felix assumed it was him, had already opened the door and watched as he walked up the steps to the entrance.
“Mister Graham de Vanily, I suppose?”
Felix gave him a polite smile and offered a handshake which the butler took after a moment. “Indeed that’s me, Felix Graham de Vanily. Am I correct in assuming that you are Mr. Alfred Pennyworth?”
“You are. May I take your coat? The flowers would be for Miss Marinette?”
“Oh no, they are for the family. Marinette let me know that it would be quite the faux pas to bring anything edible as a hospitality gift,” Felix answered. He has always been quite observant, so he noticed the tiny twitch in the older man’s face. A faint almost smile. He decided to see this as success.
“Very well, then I shall find a suitable vase in just a moment. Please follow me and take a seat in the sitting room, I will inform the family of your arrival.”
The butler took his coat, put it away and offered him a pair of house slippers. After that he led him to a tastefully decorated room to wait for his hosts. He asked him if he could offer him anything to drink and Felix gratefully accepted a cup of Earl Grey tea.
“Psst, Felix!”
Felix looked around before he looked down his waistcoat into the beady black eyes of his kwami.
“I’ll go and find the other kwamis and tell your girlfriend that you’re here,” Krrah declared in a croaky voice. Felix gave them a tiny nod and then acted as if he was checking his appearance again.
When he looked back up a steaming cup of tea stood in front of him. When did that appear? Hopefully after Krrah got away. He very deliberately did not check on his tie pin to make sure it was still there. If someone actually had seen everything, that would give too much away. Instead, he adjusted his cuffs and checked his cufflinks. After that he decided to reach for the tea.
Only for it to be snatched out of his hand. He blinked in surprise and turned in the direction the hand had come from. There stood a dark haired teen roughly his age with icy blue eyes and an exhausted smile. In one hand he held the cup of tea, the other held up a struggling kid by the scruff of his neck like a misbehaving kitten. The image was surprisingly fitting especially when the kid started to hiss insults at the teen, calling him “Drake”.
“I’m so sorry for him,” Drake apologized. “Damian likes to play pranks and this time he seemed to think putting some sleeping pills in your tea would be funny.” At that the boy hissed again and resumed his struggles.
“It is my duty as her only true blood brother to defend Marinette,” Damian declared.
“May I ask what the meaning of this is?” a cool voice came from the door. There stood Mr. Pennyworth with another steaming cup of tea. His right eyebrow rose as he observed the picture that presented itself to him. “Master Timothy, would you please let Master Damian down?”
Timothy sighed and set the child down. Damian gave him a calculating look and then a small knife stuck in the upholstery next to him and Timothy restrained the boy once more.
“Alfred, I would love to let go of Damian, but he doesn’t seem to know how to behave in front of a guest,” Timothy told the butler. “I’ll bring him to Bruce. I’m sorry about the upholstery.”
With that he left and Mr. Pennyworth placed the cup of tea in front of him with a sigh.
“Please excuse the young master. Regrettably he hasn’t had the most healthy upbringing.”
“It’s not my place to voice any judgment,” Felix replied. It didn’t stop him from thinking such judgment, of course. But instead of saying anything else he pulled the knife out and gave it the butler. “Would you please return this to its owner?”
The man nodded and left again. Felix turned back to the tea when the cup was, again, snatched away. This time he couldn’t suppress a twitch at his eyes and turned again to the person who took the beverage this time.
How this tank of a man was able to come in without making any noise Felix had no idea. The man had unruly, curly black hair. The white streak at the front brought to mind the image of a skunk.
“Hm, Earl Grey. To be honest, I prefer any green tea, but it’s good to have another tea drinker here. There are already too many bean worshippers in this house,” the man declared and gave him a roguish grin. “The name’s Jason Todd and you’re obviously pixie pop’s arm candy?”
“Arm candy, that’s a new one. Especially since those I know agree that everyone pales next to Marinette. I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Jason. I am Felix Graham de Vanily.” He offered the man his hand for a handshake and suppressed a wince when that handshake turned out to be a bit more forceful than expected.
“Ah, Felix was it? I have a very serious question for you Felix,” another voice came from the door. Once more a young man with black hair stepped into the room. He grinned good-naturedly, but there was a dangerous glint in his dark blue eyes that had Felix immediately on edge.
“Tell me … what’s your favorite cereal?”
Taken aback Felix only blinked at the man. Jason next to him burst into peals of laughter.
“Cereal?”
“Yes, cereal.”
Felix didn’t know if he was serious or not. “Actually, I don’t eat cereal.” The man gasped as if he had just insulted all his ancestors.
“Then what do you eat for breakfast or as a late night snack?”
“Well, for breakfast I usually eat a boiled egg and toast with jam, marmalade or honey. And I rarely eat a late night snack, but if I get hungry between meals I prefer a greek yogurt with honey, nuts and fruit or simply an apple if I don’t want to put as much work into it,” he explained confusedly. It seemed Marinette’s family was even weirder than she had told him.
“Oh, Felix boy, sounds like you are much too healthy and sane for this family,” Jason cackled.
“I tried to warn him,” he heard Marinette say from behind the cereal-obsessed man. “In or out Dick, but don’t stand around in the doorway.”
The man going by the unfortunate name of “Dick” sighed and stepped inside. Behind him Marinette came in and gave him one of her beautiful smiles. That’s all he needed to remember why he was doing this.
“Hello Marinette,” he greeted as he stood up to come over to her. Marinette grinned, pulled him in and pressed their lips together. After the kiss swallowed his surprised (and plainly undignified) squawk he returned the kiss gently. The two men in the room made noises of discomfort but he realized this was part of why Marinette did it when she grinned into the kiss.
When they pulled back his wonderful, beautiful, brilliant girlfriend smirked at her brothers.
“Remember, I am French, I have absolutely no problem kissing my boyfriend in front of you or dad whenever any of you step out of line. And I can’t imagine Felix disliking my idea of punishing you, do you?”
He shook his head and gave her a conspiratorial grin.
“My lips are at your service, my queen.”
