Today I received a sign from the universe. The tree under which I walk every day, a few yellow leaves fell upon my head and touched me like raindrops falling from the sky. My days are less and numbered. Why else would yellow autumn leaves fall so early in mid summer. What a relief to know that story is reaching its climax...
Summary: You figure out what Ivar’s plans are after seeing him with your father and his army. Your mother shows you that there is another way you can fight in this war that doesn’t require you to raise a weapon.
Warnings: angst, mentions of an unhappy marriage, mentions of war, mentions of raids/invasion, mentions of death and killing, strong language, small threats, hope you enjoy
Word Count: 2,592
The Curtain Falls Masterlist II Vikings Masterlist
It took two days of acting before word came that Kattegat was attacked. Then, it took more acting to make everyone believe that you and Ivar had no idea, that you’re both shocked about it and hadn’t expected anything like that to happen. It was all torture to you.
The only one you could talk to is your mother but she keeps telling you the same thing. Even though you haven’t told her the truth about the attack on Kattegat and how Ivar knew and ran away, it’s still a relief to get some things off your chest. They’re mostly just things you find infuriating in Ivar, things he does that make you want to explore, but it’s a good thing you’re getting them out. Or so your mother told you.
She chuckles as you breathe out a long sigh after rambling on about how he didn’t say a word to you last night, how he just stared off in the distance obviously thinking about something but not even bothering to tell you, his wife, what he’s thinking about. “I didn’t know that my unhappy marriage is an amusement,” you mutter, dropping your gaze to your hands as you continue to walk beside her at the same gentle pace she walks at.
“I’m not laughing because I find it amusing. I’m laughing because it reminds me about your father and me,” she states, smiling as she turns her head towards you. “Have you prayed to Freya?” You don’t reply, only bite your lower lip in guilt. “Have you even tried talking to Ivar about...anything?” Again, no response from you. “(Y/n)-”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say,” you quickly cut her off, turning to face her as you stop walking. “You don’t understand how it feels being alone with him when he’s not trying to be the charming person you and father, or even yet everyone, knows him to be. I don’t even know if his brothers know him the way I do. I don’t know why he hates me so much,” you rant, tears on the edge of falling from your eyes as you stare right up at your mother.
She folds her hands in front of her and gives you a gentle smile that makes you remember that her marriage with your father wasn’t exactly love at first sight. “Has he told you that he hates you?” she questions.
Your eyes drift off to the side as your mouth opens to respond. But you can’t recall any time where Ivar told you that he hates you. You shake your head. “He doesn’t love me, though.”
“And has ever said that he doesn’t?”
Again, you can’t recall that he has. Ivar’s never said anything about his emotions to you, only that he always feels anger. But he has never said that he doesn’t love you or that he hates you. How is it that your mother is so philosophical now? Couldn’t she have bestowed this wisdom to you before you married?
Your mother places a hand on your shoulder to turn you so that you can continue walking towards the courtyard where you’re sure she’ll impart some more of her wisdom unto you. “You married a stubborn man, so it seems. He won’t say anything about his feelings so you’ll have to dig it out of him. And you’ll need to have strength as well to carry on digging when he snaps at you,” she mentions, causing you to sigh and drop your head between your shoulders. “Every man has a breaking point. You just need to find his,” she adds.
An unsure feeling shakes your head as you breathe out a chuckle to yourself. “I doubt he has one. All he cares about is…” you trail off, swallow deeply before you sigh. “I don’t even know what he cares about.” It’s now just occurred to you that you know nothing about Ivar.
“That’s because neither of you has made an effort to get to know each other,” your mother says, your head snapping up at her to try and fight back.
But you see a confused look knit her eyebrows together when you reach the courtyard and your head turns to see what it is that makes her confused. Your father’s entire army has gathered and he walks among the men and women with Ivar beside them, both having a sort of excited look on their faces.
“What’s going on, my love?” your mother asks, pulling your father’s attention away from Ivar and the army and making a different kind of smile grow on his face. You’re just glad you didn’t have to ask that question.
You force a fake smile when you look at Ivar, slowly walk towards him as your father wraps his arm around your mother’s waist to pull her closer. “We are planning a war. So that Ivar and our daughter can get back their Kingdom,” your father says, making your smile fall as you look up at him and then to Ivar with wide eyes.
“Do we have enough numbers for that?”
You look at Ivar as he walks up to your side, waiting to see what his response will be to your mother’s question. “My brothers will gather what’s left of our army and join us on the eve of the attack,” he states, refusing to look at you as he continues to smile at your mother.
There’s something about this you don’t like. Something in Ivar’s words unsettles you. And you can’t help your tongue. “How do you know that enough men survived the attack?” you ask, his head snapping down at you and a frightful look flashing in his eyes. But you hold up your head in confidence.
“I have a feeling,” he states, trying not to sound too harsh in front of your parents, but you know that your mother can hear a bit of hostility especially after everything you’ve told her.
Clearing her throat to break your stare with Ivar, you and he look at her as she turns her gaze up to your father again. “Are you sure we’re ready for a war?” she questions, resting her hands on his chest.
You bite the inside of your cheek as her words ring in your mind and you wonder if you’ll ever get to fix your marriage and be like that with Ivar without it being an act. Is that what you want? Well, if it means that you’ll be happy then yes. Yes, you want this marriage to be more than just hiding the truth from the people around you. Yes, you want the act to be real.
Yes, you want to love Ivar and you want him to love you in return.
“We haven’t had one in years. I’m aching for one,” your father chuckles as he leans closer to kiss your mother.
Shaking your head, you whisper a small apology to excuse yourself and turn to walk away. And it’s not long before you hear Ivar following you. You try to keep calm, wringing your hands together as you take in a deep breath. You don’t know why he would be following you.
As always, all it takes is for you to be alone with him for his true colors to show. Though it mostly only happens when he’s sure no one will unexpectedly walk in, like in your room, sometimes he’ll lash out sooner depending on his mood.
“Never question me like that again,” he snaps when you both are alone in a hallway, his hand shooting out to grab your upper arm to stop you from walking and making you turn around to face him. “Not in front of your parents, at least.”
You stare up at him with an angered look on your face and your hands curl into fists as your jaw tenses. “Why? Because war is not my place?” you spit at him, shocking him with your stern tone and making his hand around your upper arm loosen. “You’re involving my father, my brothers, my mother, and the people I grew up with. It’s become my place now whether you like it or not.” You don’t know where this fire is coming from. You’d never speak to him like, so what changed?
Whatever it is, it surprises him enough to make him let go of your arm and step back. But his expression doesn’t change and he doesn’t become angry with you, which surprises you in return. He chuckles quietly to himself and tries to stop a smile from spreading on his face by running his tongue over his lips.
“Don’t try and be smug about this, Ivar. I see what all this is about,” you whisper, narrowing your eyes at him as you take a small step backward.
He raises an eyebrow at you and his faint smile falls. “What is this about?”
“You knew Kattegat would be attacked and knew that your Great Heathen Army wouldn’t be enough. You came here with the intention to use my father’s army too. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had your army leave Kattegat before the attack just so that you would have the numbers for your war,” you reply, speaking your mind not knowing if you’re even right or not. The look on his face tells you that you are indeed right. “Oh Gods,” you whisper, stepping away from him as you shake your head in disbelief.
He takes a step forward, holds your gaze and takes a deep breath. “What else would you have me do, (Y/n)? Would you rather I stayed, fought and be killed, and you, not knowing anything about it return to Kattegat? What do you think they would do to you?” he asks in rapid-fire, stepping closer and closer to you until he’s standing so close to you, it would only take a small movement to kiss him.
“I find it hard to believe that you were thinking about me when you were planning all this,” you sharply say, your heart hammering in your chest and your knees slightly shaking. But you won’t let your act down now. “I swear, Ivar. If any of my family gets hurt during this war, I’ll make the rest of your life a living Hel.”
Ivar’s never heard a threat leave your lips before. He doesn’t know what caused you to suddenly become so feisty but it somehow makes him smile. It almost sounds like something he would say…
A thrall walks around the corner, making your head snap to her and you take a small step back away from Ivar. Ivar looks at the thrall, shifts on his feet, and tilts his head to the side as she gently walks forward. “Forgive me for intruding, your grace, but your mother sent me to find you,” she says timidly as she folds her hands in front of her.
You glance up at Ivar as you breathe out a short breath. Nodding your head, you look back at the thrall and give her a smile. “Where is she?” you ask, taking a step forward as she begins to lead you down the hallway.
“She’s waiting for you in your chambers.”
Turning your head over your shoulder, you look back at Ivar to see if he’s still in his spot and looking at you or if he had quickly moved on. You never look back when you walk away from Ivar, but something made you do just that today. And you catch him staring at you with a look you’ve never seen before in his eyes. You don’t know what to call it because it’s all so new to you. So, you just turn your head back in front of you and carry on walking down the hallway.
Ivar bites his lower lip when you look away from him, drops his head between his shoulders, and breathes out a long sigh to himself. He shakes his head to get rid of every possible thought as to why you looked back at him now; the first time ever. Then, he turns to walk away, pushing away any other thoughts or feeling that he can feel rising up at the thought that you turned back to look at him.
The thrall leaves you when you reach the door of your chambers, probably an order she received from your mother because when you open the door, you find your mother standing in the middle of the room waiting for you.
A box on the bed catches your attention, especially when you see your mother’s family symbol carved into the wood. “You wanted to see me?” you speak, looking back at your mother when she starts to walk towards the box on the bed.
“Do you know why your father and I didn’t want to train you in fighting?” she asks, her attention on the box as she touches it gently when he sits beside it. She doesn’t see you shaking your head but knows that you do anyway. “In my family, it is a tradition of the female to not shed blood. Not with force anyway. A tradition that is passed from mother to daughter,” she says, her words intriguing you and making you walk towards her. “It is a tradition I wanted to pass down to you the moment I held you in my arms for the first time.”
Sitting on the other side of the box, you stare at the seeming old box. But you can see that the latch and hinges have just recently been replaced. The shine of the metal lures you to open it as your mother turns the bow so that the front faces you.
The box is quite big and would sit across your entire lap if you put it there. Inside are objects you never thought would be inside. Vials filled with different kinds of liquids; they’ve all been refilled by the look of things, pieces of parchment with writing scribbled on it, a few pouches that you don’t know the contents of. And lastly, a ring that seems out of place on top of the parchment pieces.
“What is all this?” you ask breathlessly as you look up at your mother.
She has a smile on her face and reaches for the ring. “It is a way for women like us to fight back in a time of war without picking up a sword,” she says, taking your right hand and slipping the ring onto your middle finger. “Some men will take advantage of a woman that cannot fight physically. They will not expect us to be carrying a different kind of weapon.”
Your head turns back to the vials of liquid and you realize now what they all are. Poisons. You remember when you were a child that one guest that came to speak to your father died under mysterious circumstances. You remember walking into your mother’s room that night because you were scared that some killer was out there only to find her fiddling with a box filled with different things and bottles of strange liquid on the table. You realize now what happened that night. That is why her family’s symbol is a snake baring fangs with dripping venom.
The same symbol engraved on the ring on your finger. And when you go to touch the ring and move it slightly, you find the top clicking open to reveal a small hidden compartment probably to store some poison for emergencies.
Hailing from Berlin, Germany, Venior is an alternative pop artist who has caught my attention through her experimental yet emotional track and video Curtains Fall.
(more…)
i would change for you but babe that doesn’t mean I’m gonna be a better man~
Give the ocean what i took from you so one day you might fi-ind it in the sand,
and hold it in your haaaands again~
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