exo x f!reader ; the exos n their fave ways to obliterate that coochie 🥰
⟢ requested by this lovely anonie <3 ty babie!
content: 18+/mdni 3.5k+ words. established relationships. talking u thru it. bulge kink. rough. possessive. marking. overstimulation. explicit language. breeding kink. p in v. creampie. raw juseyooooo <3
⟢ jongin
standing backshots. jongin doesn’t just fuck—he devours. he takes his time, lets the anticipation build, makes you feel every second of his attention before he finally gives you what you’re begging for. and standing backshots? it’s his favorite because it’s raw, desperate, and so damn deep.
his hands are firm on your hips, pulling you back against him as his chest presses into your back, his breath hot against your neck. he likes keeping you right on the edge, teasing, dragging himself along your slick folds, letting you shiver before he finally pushes in.
“fuck, baby,” he groans, voice thick, rough. “so tight—how are you always this tight for me?”
his grip tightens the second you try to move, holding you in place, forcing you to take every inch at his pace. his fingers dig into your hip, guiding you back onto him, slow and deliberate, making sure you feel just how deep he is. and when he finally pulls almost all the way out? he gives you one warning—one low, husky “stay still.”
and then he slams forward, knocking the air from your lungs, your palms pressing into the nearest surface to keep yourself steady. he’s merciless. deep, measured thrusts, grinding into you between each snap of his hips, making sure you’re stretched around him, taking everything he gives you.
“you hear that?” his voice is almost teasing, breathless. “hear how fucking wet you are for me?”
and when your legs start shaking, threatening to give out, he’s already there. one arm wraps around your waist, holding you up, keeping you locked against him as he drives into you from behind, relentless. his lips are on your neck, kissing, biting, whispering filth against your skin as he loses himself in you.
“uh uh, baby. don’t you run from me.” his palm presses into your lower stomach, feeling the way he fills you, the way your body molds around him. “stay your ass right here. i’m not done with you yet.”
he’ll make sure you don’t forget it.
⟢ chanyeol
cowgirl. omg congratulations to you for bouncing on it!!!!!!!!!! chanyeol loves the way you look when you’re on top. all of you—spread out for him, trembling above him, completely at his mercy even when you’re the one in control. he wants to feel you, watch you, let you take him however you want, but if you think for even a second that he’ll just sit back and let you have your way? you’re dead wrong.
his hands are everywhere. gripping your waist, smoothing up your thighs, grabbing handfuls of your ass as he helps you move, his fingers digging into your skin as he watches you take him in, slow and teasing.
“fuck, baby.” his voice is low, wrecked, barely holding himself together. "you feel so fucking good—look at you, riding me so well."
he tries to let you set the pace, he really does, but the second you slow down, teasing, grinding instead of bouncing? his patience snaps.
his hands tighten on your hips, holding you still as he thrusts up into you, deep and sharp, knocking the breath right out of you.
“you think you can play with me?” his voice is a rasp, his head falling back against the pillows for a second before his dark, blown-out eyes find yours again. “nah, baby. you wanna tease me? you better be ready for this.”
he grabs you, pulling you flush against his chest, his arms caging you in as he plants his feet against the mattress and starts fucking up into you—hard. his grip is unrelenting, forcing you to take it, making sure you feel every thick, deep stroke.
“shit—you're gripping me so tight—fuck.”
he’s panting now, his lips brushing against your ear, his groans turning into deep, desperate moans as he loses himself in the way you feel around him. one hand slides up your back, threading through your hair, tugging just enough to tilt your head back as he leans in, lips hovering over yours.
“say my name, baby.” his voice is wrecked, pleading, demanding. “louder. let me hear you.”
and when you finally give him what he wants, his control snaps completely. he flips you over in one move, pinning you beneath him, his hands on either side of your head as he drives into you, raw and desperate, completely consumed by you.
“fuck, i need you—i need all of you—” his forehead presses against yours, his breath mixing with yours, his hips snapping faster, “you're mine, baby. you're fucking mine.”
and he’ll make sure you never forget it.
⟢ sehun
missionary (but make it intense). sehun might seem nonchalant on the outside, but don’t let that fool you. when he has you beneath him, pinned down, there’s nothing gentle about the way he takes you. missionary with him isn’t just some slow, sweet affair—it’s raw, primal, and so deeply intimate that you can’t escape his gaze, even if you wanted to.
his hands are everywhere— fingers laced with yours, pinning your wrists above your head as he presses his body against yours, chest to chest, hips locked together. his thrusts are deep, measured, deliberate, each one hitting you right where you need him, each one dragging out a gasp, a moan, a whimper that only fuels him more.
his eyes stay locked on yours, dark and blown out, his breath mingling with yours as he leans in, his lips just barely brushing against yours with every thrust.
“you feel that?” his voice is a low growl, sending shivers down your spine as he grinds his hips against yours, making sure you feel every inch of him. “you’re mine—every fucking part of you.”
and he doesn’t just say it—he shows it. he shifts, angling his hips just right, making you arch up off the bed, your nails dragging down his back, your legs wrapping tighter around his waist.
his lips find your neck, teeth scraping gently before sucking a mark into your skin, claiming you in every possible way. his hands move from your wrists to your thighs, gripping, pulling you impossibly closer, deeper.
“look at me,” he demands, voice rough, almost pleading. “i want to see you. i want to see what i do to you.”
and when you meet his gaze, eyes wide and glassy, completely undone beneath him? he loses it.
his pace quickens, thrusts turning sharp, almost punishing, each one sending shockwaves through your body. but even then, he keeps his focus on you—watching every reaction, every moan, every tremble.
“fuck—just like that,” he breathes, his voice cracking, his control slipping. “let me feel you, baby. let me feel you come apart for me.”
and when you do—when your body arches into him, when you cry out his name, when you tighten around him so hard he sees stars— he doesn’t stop.
he keeps going, keeps moving, keeps fucking into you with everything he has, chasing his own release, needing to be as close to you as possible. his forehead presses against yours, his breath ragged, lips finding yours in a desperate, messy kiss as he finally lets go, spilling into you with a deep, shuddering groan.
even after, when you’re both panting, bodies tangled together, he refuses to pull away. his hands gently stroke your hair, his lips pepper soft kisses across your face, his voice a whispered promise.
“you’re mine,” he murmurs, a soft, possessive growl lingering in his words. “all mine.”
⟢ kyungsoo
doggy style. kyungsoo is a perfectionist, and that extends to the way he ruins you in bed. he likes control, likes watching your body react to every precise thrust, likes knowing that he’s the one making you lose yourself. doggy style is his ideal position—he gets to set the pace, decide just how deep he’s going to bury himself inside you, how hard he’s going to snap his hips until you’re trembling.
it starts slow, deliberate—his hands gripping your hips, spreading you open, taking his time to savor the sight of you arching for him. his voice is low, rough as he murmurs, “stay just like that.” and then the moment he decides you’re ready? his grip tightens, fingers digging into your skin as he slams forward, knocking the breath right out of your lungs.
he’s ruthless with it—grinding in deep, pulling almost all the way out just to thrust back in and make you whimper for more. one hand presses into the small of your back, keeping you arched perfectly for him, the other wrapping around your throat as he leans over you, voice like a growl against your ear.
“look at you.” his tone is controlled, but there’s a dark edge to it. “taking me so well. you like this, don’t you?”
and the second he hears you gasp yes—or, even better, if you’re too wrecked to speak? he chuckles, slow and dangerous, pulling out just to leave you desperate, whining, arching back for him. his palm lands hard against your ass, the sting making you jolt before he drives back in, harder this time, setting an unforgiving rhythm that has your fingers clawing at the sheets.
but kyungsoo doesn’t just fuck you—he watches you fall apart. his grip tightens when you start shaking, when your legs threaten to give out, when your moans dissolve into nothing but broken gasps. and when you do collapse forward, body trembling, he’s right there behind you, pulling you back against his chest, his hand wrapping around your jaw to turn your face to him.
“we’re not done yet.” his lips brush your cheek, deceptively soft. “you wanted more, didn’t you? keep up, baby.”
he’ll make sure you do. again and again.
⟢ junmyeon
desk/tabletop. junmyeon has an air of sophistication, but behind closed doors? he’s anything but refined. he loves bending you over the nearest surface—his office desk, the kitchen counter, even the damn piano if he’s feeling particularly indulgent. his fingers press into your back, keeping you arched just the way he likes.
"you’re gonna take all of me, right?"
his tone is teasing, calculated—but there’s an edge of warning beneath it. because junmyeon isn’t asking. he’s telling.
his fingers curl around your hip, pulling you back onto him, slow, deep, stretching you open until your breath stutters. he watches your body react to him, watches you arch further, your back curving under his touch like you’re made for him.
and that’s when he loses the last of his patience.
his grip tightens, his control slipping as he thrusts in hard, knocking the air out of your lungs. the desk shakes beneath you, papers sliding to the floor, but he doesn’t care. he’s completely focused on you, on the way you gasp his name, on the way your body clenches around him.
“fuck, baby—” his voice falters just for a second before he catches himself, regaining that controlled, commanding tone. “so tight—taking me so fucking well.”
he leans over you, his hand pressing firm against the small of your back, keeping you exactly where he wants you. his lips ghost over the shell of your ear, his breath warm, teasing as he whispers,
“don’t even think about running from this.”
he picks up his pace then, driving into you harder, sharper, until your nails scrape at the wood beneath you. he’s relentless, precise, the way only junmyeon can be—like he’s planned this down to the very last detail, like he already knows exactly how to ruin you.
and when he feels you start to break beneath him, when your moans dissolve into soft, breathless whimpers? he slows, dragging it out, making you feel every thick, deep stroke.
his teasing smirk is the last thing you register before he snaps his hips forward one last time, groaning against your skin as he finally, finally gives in.
and even after, when he’s still catching his breath, his body pressed against yours, his hands stay exactly where they are. because junmyeon may be composed in public, but behind closed doors? he’s anything but refined.
⟢ baekhyun
meeeeaaaann mating press. baekhyun is controlled, precise, and unbelievably strong—and he loves using that strength to keep you exactly where he wants you. the moment he presses you down beneath him, folding your legs up against your chest, pinning you beneath his weight, you already know you aren’t going anywhere.
his grip is firm, unyielding, fingers digging into the backs of your thighs as he pushes you open wider, making sure there’s nowhere to hide, no way to escape the way he stretches you out. his breathing is slow, measured, his dark eyes locked onto yours as he lines himself up, the head of his cock dragging along your slick folds, teasing you, making you wait.
"ready for me, baby?" he murmurs, his voice rough, dripping with quiet dominance. he watches your lips part, watches the way your body trembles in anticipation—and then he pushes in, slow and deliberate, filling you inch by inch until he’s seated deep inside.
and he doesn’t move.
he stays there, his chest flush against yours, his forehead nearly touching yours, his breath mixing with yours as he lets you feel it— the stretch, the pressure, the way he’s buried so deep inside you it leaves you breathless.
"fuck—look at you," he groans, his voice low and wrecked as he pulls out just an inch before snapping his hips forward, making you gasp.
and then he starts moving.
his thrusts are slow at first, devastatingly deep, grinding against you in slow, measured rolls of his hips, making sure you feel every inch. his grip on your thighs tightens, holding you wide open, making sure you take all of him, making sure you don’t run.
but then your nails rake down his back. your moans turn higher, sharper, needier. your body clenches around him so perfectly, so tight—and whatever restraint he had? gone.
he snaps his hips into you, sharp and relentless, his pace turning brutal, his thrusts hard enough to make the bed frame creak beneath you.
his hand slides down your stomach, pressing firmly, feeling the way he moves inside you, feeling how deep he is.
"ya feel that, baby?" his voice is thick, breathless. "feel how deep i am? you’re taking me so fucking well."
his other hand wraps around your throat, not squeezing, just tilting your head up, forcing you to meet his gaze, forcing you to stay in this moment with him.
"don’t look away." his thumb brushes against your jaw, his lips ghosting over yours, his breath ragged as he fucks into you harder. "i wanna see your pretty face when you cum all on my cock."
and when you finally break—when your body tenses, when your back arches, when you sob his name and tighten around him so hard it nearly makes him lose his mind?
he groans, his pace stuttering, his own release hitting just as hard as yours. his grip on you tightens, his body pressing flush against yours as he buries himself deep one last time, letting go completely.
but he doesn’t let you go.
his arms stay wrapped around you, his hands soothing over your thighs, his lips pressing soft, lazy kisses to your shoulder.
"holy fuck, sweetheart," he sighs, his voice still rough, still breathless. "so fucking perfect for me."
and when you’re too wrecked to even move, to even speak?
he just smirks, shifting his hips just slightly, still buried inside you, still keeping you folded beneath him.
"mm, let’s go again," he murmurs, "i’m not done with you yet."
⟢ minseok
reverse cowgirl. minseok is all about control, but he also loves watching you lose yourself on top of him. he leans back, arms resting behind his head, looking effortlessly relaxed—but his eyes? sharp, dark, completely locked onto the way your body moves. he lets you set the pace at first, biting his lip as he watches you roll your hips, taking him in so beautifully, your back arching as you sink down on him again and again.
but what really drives him insane? the way your ass bounces with every move.
his jaw tightens, his fingers twitch against the sheets, his restraint hanging by a thread as he watches the way you take him—so fucking deep, so perfect. he lets out a low, appreciative groan, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips.
“shit, baby,” he rasps, his voice thick with arousal. “look at you—fuck, you’re so pretty like this.”
he watches, transfixed, letting you ride him at your own pace—until he decides he wants more.
the second he sees your thighs tremble, your rhythm faltering just slightly, his hands are on you. strong, firm, unrelenting.
his fingers dig into your waist, holding you still before slamming his hips up, driving himself deeper into you with a force that makes you cry out.
"getting tired, baby?" his voice is teasing, smooth, dripping with amusement as he watches you struggle to keep up. he pulls you back against his chest in one swift motion, his arms caging you in as he takes full control.
his hands slide lower, gripping your ass, spreading you open just to watch the way you swallow him up with every thrust.
"fuck—look at that," he groans, his voice dark with obsession. "you see how good you take me? how perfect you are bouncing on my cock?"
his fingers dig in tighter as he guides you up and down, slow, deep, precise, making sure you feel every inch. and when he hears that soft, wrecked whimper—when your body starts to tremble again, threatening to collapse—he just chuckles, breath warm against your skin.
“don’t worry,” he murmurs against your ear, his lips grazing your jaw as his grip tightens. “i’ll take care of ya.”
and then he does—grinding up into you, rolling his hips deep, making sure you feel every fucking inch of him. his fingers trail down your stomach, teasing where you’re already so sensitive, circling, stroking, pushing you closer to the edge.
"that's it," his voice turns husky, his breath ragged against your ear. "i want to feel ya come apart just like this. show me how good you can be for me."
and when you finally do—when your body locks up, your moans breaking into desperate sobs, your nails clawing at his arms— he just smirks, tilting your chin back for a deep, possessive kiss as he fucks you through it.
because with minseok? he doesn’t just let you ride him—he makes sure you fall apart on top of him.
⟢ yixing
with yixing, spooning isn’t just a position—it’s an experience. everything he does is slow, deliberate, and devastatingly deep. he loves the closeness of it—your body flush against his, your legs tangled together, your back pressed to his chest as he moves inside you, stretching you open with every slow, intoxicating stroke.
his lips never leave your skin, trailing open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your shoulder, his tongue flicking out to taste, teeth grazing just enough to make you shiver. he murmurs soft praises between breathy groans, his voice low, heavy with pure, unfiltered want.
“you feel so good, baby,” he sighs, his arm tightening around your waist, pulling you even closer, like he’s trying to mold you against him.
his free hand is restless, exploring—fingertips ghosting over your stomach, teasing the softness of your skin, dipping between your thighs with an unbearable slowness. he’s not just touching you; he’s memorizing you, learning what makes you gasp, what makes your body tense, what makes you fall apart.
his voice is gentle but firm, rasping against your ear, “let me take my time with you, baby. i wanna feel all of you.”
and god, he does.
the way he rolls his hips is devastating—unhurried, deep, so precise it feels like he’s unraveling you with every slow thrust. he doesn’t just chase his own pleasure; he savors every little reaction from you, waiting, listening, learning.
he tilts his head, pressing a kiss to your temple, and then… he adjusts just slightly, just enough to hit that perfect spot inside you, the angle making your breath stutter, your fingers digging into his arm. he notices immediately.
his grip tightens, his hand sliding down your thigh to hitch your leg higher over his, holding you there as he grinds into you, deeper, more deliberate, drawing out every shudder, every desperate moan.
“yeah, that’s it,” he breathes against your ear, his lips curling into a soft, knowing smile. “let go for me, baby. let me feel you.”
and the moment he feels your body start to tremble, your breath hitching, he doesn’t stop.
he pushes you through it, dragging you over the edge with slow, relentless precision, whispering something possessive, something sweet, his voice dripping with adoration as he holds you tighter, deeper, refusing to let you go until you’re completely undone in his arms.
even after, when your body is boneless, trembling against him, he doesn’t pull away. his lips graze over your shoulder, pressing soft, lingering kisses, his fingers drawing lazy patterns over your stomach.
“i could stay like this forever,” he murmurs, voice warm, his arms locking around you, holding you close.
summary: y/n tries to heal and get over kyungsoo after he lies to her about his true intentions </3
8.5k words
inspired by an old jungkook drabble by oilblotter that i found!!!!! and u can read here
missed part one?
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick.” Kyungsoo places a hand on your lower back to let you know. You smile at him, holding the cue upright, and reply with a short and sweet “okay”.
Your eyes linger on his body a little longer, watching it disappear behind the door.
“It’s so cool that you’re okay with all this, Y/N.” Jiho catches your attention. He’s looking at you with a smile. The same friendly smile he used to give you on his shifts at the shop. You missed it.
You wished things had been different. Maybe if you hadn’t been such a geek back in the day. Not that you are any cooler now. He was always nicer with you within the confines of his dad’s shop. In the hallways of high school, he was a lot different. At the time, you never really understood why.
It got a lot worse one day. His attitude shifted completely. Even at his dad’s shop. He began to treat you like everybody else: like you were nothing. You couldn’t understand what you had done wrong. All you knew was that you didn’t feel comfortable shopping at his dad’s store anymore.
“With all what?” You reply as you wait for Hyoseob to shoot.
Hyoseob seems too distracted to do so. He straightens and gives Jiho a warning look.
“Stop. What’re you doing?” He nudges his friend with a worried expression. He ignores him.
“With the bet?” Jiho’s head tilts innocently.
You laugh uncomfortably. “The bet?” The words don’t settle well in your stomach. You stare back at the bathroom door, hoping Kyungsoo would show up and ease the tension.
“Jiho, he’s gonna kill you. Please shut up.” Hyoseob makes it worse, begging Jiho to stop whatever he was about to confess.
“You know he only asked you out because we dared him to sleep with you by the end of the semester, right?”
The polite smile on your face falters as you feel your heart sink from your chest. You think back to the time he approached you. You were skeptical. You were careful. You did the steps to protect yourself from him. And you believed him anyways.
Of course it was all a lie. A guy like Kyungsoo would have never gone for a girl like you.
Your breaths become shorter, desperately gasping for air. Your hand rests on your chest, trying to settle the heaviness.
Hyoseob tries checking on you but you push his arm off you. You can feel your heartbeat through your ears as you try and find your way through the door without passing out.
Once you find the door to fresh air, you walk.
You walk as fast as you can for as long as your legs take you.
You didn’t want Kyungsoo going after you to explain himself. You believed his lie once. Who’s to say you wouldn’t fall for it a second time?
Every single moment repeats itself like a joke in your head. Your first kiss. Your first time driving a manual. Your first date.
Fuck.
The comic book. You halt in your steps and just stand in the middle of the sidewalk. You grab the issue from your tote and stare at it. A tear falls onto the vintage copy. You immediately panic, blotting the wet mark with the end of your top.
You wanted to throw it away, ruin it. Ruin the memory of that fake date.
You can’t find it in you to.
You scoff, “A fucking bet.”
This couldn’t be your life. It can’t be.
Your phone rings in your pocket and you laugh at how predictable this all is. You think of what to say. You want to think of some snappy comeback. Anything to hurt his feelings the way he’s hurt yours. But you can’t come up with any. It doesn’t feel natural to be mean to Kyungsoo.
He made you fall for him, hard, and you didn’t know how to be mean to the person who has shown you nothing but kindness this past month. How could it have been fake?
Reluctantly, you pick up the phone.
“Y/N? Where are you?” He sounds panicked. It hurts to hear your name come from his mouth like this. Was he worried you left or that he lost his chance at winning the bet?
The anger returns at the thought that he wasn’t calling from a place of genuine concern. It makes you lose control over your words. You almost regret it.
“Don’t call. Don’t text. When you see me in class, don’t even look at me. Fuck you, Do Kyungsoo.”
You hang up before he can say anything. You wipe your tears under your glasses before gathering yourself to call your brother. You take a deep breath, trying to keep your voice as neutral as possible.
He answers after a couple rings.
“Hey.” Chanyeol greets you casually with the grave voice he uses when he’s out with friends.
“Hi. Are you busy?” You ask, using all your energy to stop your voice from wavering.
“Kinda. I’m at Myeon’s. What’s up?” You hear him stand up and walk to a quieter area. “You okay?”
“I- Can you pick me up?” You don’t tell him how you are, knowing that if you do, you would break down in tears again.
Chanyeol’s big brother senses were tingling though. He knew something was wrong. You can tell he does by how quickly he agrees.
"I’m Baekhyun’s ride. Is it okay if he’s in the car?” He asks while your patience runs thin.
“I really don’t care. Just come get me.” Your words spew out in frustration.
“Fuck, Y/N. You good? You don’t sound good.” Chanyeol’s concern speaks through the phone.
“No, I’m not.”
Chanyeol hears you loud and clear, grabbing Baekhyun who whines with a red cup in his hand.
“K, we’re coming.”
--------
“Y/N! You look so pretty today. Went on a date with that gu-- Ouchie.” Chanyeol hits Baekhyun when he gets to the end of his sentence. If it isn’t clear to Baekhyun yet, it definitely is now that you’ve started sobbing in the back of Chanyeol’s car.
“Oh no.” Baekhyun gasps.
Chanyeol gives him a pleading look and Baekhyun is hurriedly by your side in the backseat, wrapping an arm around you so you could cry on his chest.
“Did he break up with you? Who was it again? Do you want us to take care of it?” Baekhyun threatens in the softest voice imaginable. If you didn’t listen to the words, you’d think he was simply comforting you.
“It’s not even worth it.” You say in hiccups. You straighten yourself out and move away from his chest. Although it feels nice to be held like this, they’re not the arms you want to be wrapped in.
“Give us his name, Y/N.” Chanyeol chimes in. “We’ll just talk to him.”
You wince – finding it a lot more threatening coming from your brother’s mouth. You all knew what ‘taking care’ and a ‘talk’ meant to guys like Chanyeol and Baekhyun. The first time you ever told them you were being bullied was when you were 7 and they were 8. You were only venting. You didn’t expect them to do anything about it. Chanyeol and Baekhyun have never hurt anyone prior. They can’t even kill spiders without screaming.
They had your classmate in a chokehold, turning purple in front of you, the very next day. You vowed to keep quiet from then on, realizing how insane your brother and pseudo-brother were.
It didn’t stop them from finding out about Jiho though.
You didn’t approve of it. You never told them about Jiho’s sudden cold behaviour towards you. They found it weird that you were ordering your parts online instead of in person and went to ‘talk’ to Jiho.
Jiho didn’t come to school for a week after that.
“No. Really, I’ll be fine. It was just a bad date.” You downplay your hurt, wiping the tears with the back of your hand. “Thank you again for picking me up.”
--------
Chanyeol is extra careful with you these days. He doesn’t pry as much ever since that night.
So it’s weird when he lingers at your door.
He checks on you while you’re studying, entering your room nonchalantly with a protein shake. He shakes it obnoxiously, to your annoyance, and checks himself out in your mirror. You don’t understand why he does this. He has his own mirror.
“I’m trying to study.” You tell him with a flat tone. “Go be annoying elsewhere.”
He doesn’t say anything, choosing to plop on your bed instead. He shakes his shake one more time. You sigh.
“What? Run out of snappy comebacks?”
He has your attention now. He wants something and he wasn’t going to leave until he got it.
“Nah, it’s not fun when you’re moody.” He says with a sarcastic smile. “So... I learned something new the other day.”
“What did you learn?” You indulge in what he has to say, fully turning your chair in his direction. You spin your pen, bored.
“Kyungsoo... Remember him? Used to date the cheerleaders? Hangs out with that Jiho kid?”
Your pen falls to the ground.
Chanyeol watches it fall from your hold and raises an eyebrow.
“He asked to hang out. Thought it was a bit weird considering we haven’t hung out in the past year. But then he mentioned you.” Chanyeol continues, tone becoming serious and almost scary. And he knows you understand where he’s getting at.
Your blood runs cold. Kyungsoo’s an idiot.
“Don’t.” You warn him, heart racing.
“I’m meeting him in,” He checks his watch. “15 minutes. At the park.”
“Chanyeol, please. It’s really not worth it.” You plead. You get flashbacks to that kid turning pale and shudder.
“We’re just going to talk. We’re friends remember? I’m just gonna find out what he wants.” He shrugs and chugs his drink like he’s not threatening to snap his neck. “And then I’ll judge if it’s worth it.”
He gets up from your bed and pats your head patronizingly.
“Don’t worry. I know how much you like him. I’ll be nice.”
You swallow the lump in your throat. Fuck.
You’re stuck in your chair, unable to move from shock. Did you have to warn Kyungsoo? You groan, you really didn’t want to talk to him. Why did he have to be so stupid? He knows what Chanyeol’s capable of.
Really, this was his own fault. What did he think would come out of this? You weren’t going to text him. He dug his own grave.
You pick up your pen and return to your studies. You won’t get involved.
You read the sentence over and over, even taking your glasses off to focus. Your poor pen was being chewed up to bits with how stressed you were being over this. Damn you Kyungsoo.
You quickly get up from your seat and run off to the park.
By the time you got there, Chanyeol was already long gone and you almost sigh in relief thinking that he didn’t go through with it. You’re about to leave when you see a familiar back slumped over the water fountain. Your heart softens at the sight of Kyungsoo scooping water and washing his face.
You suck on your bottom lip, gathering the courage to walk away. He isn’t as bad as you thought he would be. You should walk away.
Seeing him wince at the cool water makes you weak and before you knew it, you were at his side.
You don’t look at him right away, focusing on wetting your sleeve with the running cold water. Your eyes drift to a scratch on his knuckles. You can feel his stare on you - strong and heavy. Your eyes sting knowing that he’s watching you.
Once soaked, you finally look up and your heart breaks at the sight of his face. He was looking at you with a warm expression and a solemn smile on his lips. You felt your lips shiver as you apply your wet sleeve on the scrape at the side of his face. Kyungsoo leans into your touch and shakily places a hand on yours.
“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.” Kyungsoo’s voice was low and apologetic. You can’t bring yourself to believe him. “It was a stupid bet that I forgot about. I fucked up. None of it was fake to me.”
Your watery eyes flicker to his. You watch them soften under your touch. Your heart can’t stand icing him out.
“Why’d you call Chanyeol? Are you an idiot?”
Kyungsoo smiles sadly, “You blocked my number. I needed to talk to you.”
You frown, taking your hand away from his face.
“You knew I’d come here?” You ask, feeling betrayed yet again. Kyungsoo reaches to hold your hand again, but you pull it back instantly. “I should have never come here. All you know how to do is manipulate me.”
“No- That’s not what I-”
Kyungsoo is about to defend himself, but you cut him off.
“I was doing fine without you. Do you know how stupid I feel because of you? I thought you lik- I thought you were my friend. And- and- now you call my brother and pull this act? To what? To get me to pity you? What you did was fucked up, Kyungsoo. I was fine without you!” Your tears fall somewhat endlessly across your cheeks. Your hands are shaking in anger, sadness, frustration when Kyungsoo wraps his arms around you.
You hate this. You hate that your body melts in his hug. You hate that he was the one to break your heart and the only one to be able to mend it.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He whispers into your hair, holding you so close and clinging onto you for as long as you’ll let him as you sob in his chest.
“Tell me how to fix this. I’ll fix it. Please, Y/N. I’ll fix it.” He pleads, holding the side of your face gently. You shake your head, unable to talk for yourself. “I’ll fix it, Y/N.” He pleads, repeating that sentence like a broken record.
“I don’t trust you, Kyungsoo. You really hurt me. I can’t trust you.” You struggle to say, throat aching from crying.
“Then let me build that trust again. Let me prove it to you, please.” He wipes the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. “I’ll fix it.”
You let him hold you a little longer as you shake your head in his grasp. How could you trust that any of this was real? How could you trust him again?
--------
Despite rejecting him at the park, Kyungsoo is still making it extremely difficult to avoid him. You caught him sitting in your spot before class one day, away from his friends. He had two cups of coffee, leg shaking anxiously. You found a seat in the back, near the exit. You thought it would be enough to hide from him.
The minute the professor started the course. Kyungsoo looked back towards the door and found you staring down at him. It took everything in you to look away and focus on the professor and your laptop. You took your notes as well as possible, but it was hard when you felt the weight of Kyungsoo’s stare on you.
As soon as the class was done, you bolted out of the lecture hall.
You meant it when you said you didn’t want to see him anymore. You knew it was unrealistic, taking the same course and all, but if you could just get through this semester, you would be okay. You convinced yourself you would be.
It was even hard to study in the library now. You were afraid that he’d come find you at any given moment, even though you had found yourself a spot in a hidden corner. He has proven to be persistent. It was only a matter of time til he tried to find you here.
You throw your head back and sigh, closing your book. You’ll just head home and hope your family wasn’t home to make any distracting noise. It was getting late anyways.
Unfortunately, the one time you desperately needed the house to be empty, you found that your parents had just gotten home from their business trip and Chanyeol was doing god knows what in his room by the loud screaming he was making. Your mom squeals in excitement at the sight of you. She hugs you tightly.
“I missed you my lil batgirl.” She squeezes your cheeks like you’re still a little girl. You rarely saw your parents but when you did, you swear you didn’t grow in their eyes. You’re still their youngest daughter who isn’t studying to be an astrophysicist, but the little girl who wanted to grow up to be Barbara Gordon. “Speaking of batgirl, a gentleman dropped these off for you.”
Your mom lets you go, excited to show you what was delivered. You wince when you see the same yellow bouquet he got you on your first date. You had dumped the first one onto the compost pile, letting it rot for the plants.
“I didn’t know you were seeing someone, Y/N! He must really like you if he’s getting you Batman themed bouquets. This is so exciting. Tell me everything. Did you go on a date yet?” She means well. It’s not her fault that she and dad had to work all the time. It’s not like they’ll be home any longer than a couple weeks before they have to go off again. Kyungsoo will probably move on to the next too. You didn’t want them to worry.
So you lie to her.
Kind of.
“Yeah, he’s a guy from my astronomy class.” You tell her, giving her a small smile to make it believable. Your mom gasps at the sound of you finally having a man in your life.
“Oh, I’m so glad! Where did he bring you? What did you guys do?” She grabs a vase and fills it with water, anticipating your response.
“Um, he brought me to brunch.” You realize instantly how hard it is to fake it. Your mom notices the falter in your voice almost immediately - her face scowling at the sound. “And then he, um,” You take a deep breath when you feel your eyes sting. She lets you finish. “brought me to a thrift store and,” tears start falling from your eyes again. She comes to your side and sits you down at the dining table.
“Did something happen?” She transforms into a parent in an instant. “Was it a bad date?”
“No, it was perfect!” You cry out, covering your face in your hands. “He got me a vintage comic book even though he found it first and he got me flowers! Just like those! Even opened and closed the doors. He was the perfect gentleman.”
“Then what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” She moves your hands down so she could look at you, her daughter who has never ever cried to her mom this much.
“He did all of it because of a bet.” Your lips turn upside down into a pout. Your mother’s face mirrors yours and pulls you in for a hug. She doesn’t say anything. Her warmth is enough for you. “Gosh, I feel like I’ve been crying so much lately.”
“It just felt so real. I thought he was actually interested.” You scoff, laughing at yourself yet again at how ridiculous you were to believe him. “I feel so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. Don’t talk about yourself like that. He seemed very apologetic at the door.” Your mom finally speaks. “Have you talked to him?”
“A bit. Chanyeol punched him and I went to see him.” You fold your lips into your mouth after revealing your brother’s antics.
“Chanyeol what? We’ll get back to that.” She shakes her head. “And then what happened?”
“He kept saying he’ll fix it. But this doesn’t seem fixable to me, mommy. He lied to me.” You explain, pouting at her. Your mom places a warm hand on your cheek.
“Why not? He says he wants to fix it.” She tucks your hair behind your ears and looks at you with compassionate eyes. Your mother was always the optimistic parent. She believed everything and anything was easily fixable. You were a lot like your dad who was the opposite. He believes some things should just be left alone. He says only someone like your mother would be able to fix anything with her passion.
“How could I trust someone like that?” You ask, voice small.
“You said it yourself. It didn’t feel fake. To be honest, he stayed a bit to ask about you. He seemed very genuine.” Of course, your mother wouldn’t understand that your pain was far too great to give him a second chance. “Life isn’t as black and white as you think, Y/N. There’s not always a right and wrong. Sometimes there is gray. And I believe this is the gray area. I know you don’t believe me but think about it. Bruce Wayne himself is a morally gray hero too, you know. You mean to tell me what he’s doing is ethical? He arrests these villains who commit heinous crimes, only for them to escape and do it over again. Doesn’t sound safe for Gotham, in my opinion.”
She gets up and smiles. “Just think about it.” She moves towards the stairs, presumably to knock some sense into Chanyeol for your little slip. “Oh, and I think you’re right. He is a perfect gentleman.”
--------
There were two more courses of ASTRO101 before the final. You could handle being late to classes for 2 more weeks. You try to open the heavy door as quietly as possible. You wince when the door shuts loudly, catching the attention of some students. Your eyes search for Kyungsoo’s but they’re not a part of the looming stares.
You find the same empty spot in the back and squeeze through your peers. You mutter apologies before settling down in the awkward seats of the hall.
“Y/N?” A guy in front of you turns and whispers your name.
“Yeah?” You answer, heart racing again. Last time someone approached you, they were doing it for a bet.
“This is for you. From Kyungsoo.” He grabs a cup of coffee and hands it to you.
You frown. “Oh, you can keep that. I don’t drink coffee.”
He freezes awkwardly, stuck in between accepting the offer and fulfilling his promise.
“I think it’s hot chocolate.” He tries to persuade you to take the beverage from his hands.
You feel bad that he would be stuck with a drink he didn’t want. And you do like hot chocolate. Albeit, you don’t know how hot it actually is, considering you’d deliberately shown up late. He never did anything wrong to you, neither did the hot chocolate. You shouldn’t punish them for Kyungsoo’s wrongdoing.
“Ok.” You grab it with a polite smile. He nods thankfully, happy to get more space on the tiny arm desk. You take a sip and watch a light pink post it fall from the cup.
unblock me please :) - dks
You scoff quietly and stick it in your notebook. Not that you wanted to keep it. You were just going to throw it in the recycling bin, like a good samaritan. Though, you do have to turn the page to cover it when you catch yourself staring at it a few too many times.
The professor prepares to end the lesson. You begin to pack your things and mentally prepare yourself to squeeze by the same people you bothered at the beginning. You mutter quick apologies, holding your bag close to you as not to hit anyone.
Like some cliché, you open the door to reveal Kyungsoo waiting for you on the other side, leaning against a wall with a plastic bag and phone in his hand. He doesn’t realize you’ve come out the door. Not with the way he keeps his eyes on his phone.
You frown and move as swiftly as you can.
The rush of wind catches Kyungsoo’s attention. And it’s too late for you to speed before he’s already by your side.
“Can you slow down a bit? Please?” He has the audacity to ask.
“No.” You try to walk faster but you fail. Kyungsoo was the jock after all.
“I got you ice cream.” He waves the plastic bag your way.
You finally stop walking and look at him, his expression hopeful. You grab the notebook from your backpack and take the sticky note out.
“I don’t want it, Kyungsoo.” You push the plastic bag into his chest along with the tiny pink paper. “The flowers, the hot chocolate, the note, the ice cream. I don’t want any of it. Don’t you understand? You didn’t just hurt my feelings. You deliberately lied to me to win a bet and crushed me. This- Material crap won’t make any of my insecurities go away. I’m not going to immediately start trusting you again after I taste something sweet.”
Kyungsoo reaches out to you, but you flinch and take a step back. You put a hand out to stop him from getting any closer.
“I hate that I let you into my life. I hate that you made me like you. I hate that I can’t even fully hate you for doing this.”
It’s embarrassing yelling at him like this in front of so many people. It’s even more humiliating realizing that you’ve been shedding tears.
“So please, if even an ounce of it was real to you, like you said it was, please understand that this isn’t something you can easily fix with gifts or an apology. I need you to leave me alone.”
“Y/N, I-” He tries again, his eyes becoming watery too. His hand twitches as if he’s trying to stop himself from reaching out to you. You can’t even tell if he’s still playing the game. It all feels so real. But you’re not sure anymore.
“Kyungsoo, please.” You shake your head, lips quivering and cheeks wet. Kyungsoo stands there awkwardly as you plead in front of an audience of judging students’ eyes.
That’s when he takes an assertive step towards you.
You let him take your hand as he puts the bag in your hold. It’s warm and makes your heart calm down just a bit. It’s nice, even for just a second, to have him hold you like this.
“Take this, at least, and I promise I’ll leave you alone after this.” His voice is shaky.
You stare at his hand in yours for a second too long. He’s smiling at you despite his eyes telling – no, screaming at you that he was not okay with leaving you alone. Not at all.
Your heart breaks a bit more than it already has. You lower your hand with the ice cream and Kyungsoo finally lets you go. You swallow nervously and walk away from him.
You wanted to believe that there was gray - that what he did could be forgiven. But your heart was far too weak and would simply not allow it. All you wanted to do was close yourself off, return to who you were before Kyungsoo.
And you couldn’t do that if he was there every single day, reminding you why you fell for him in the first place.
--------
“Um,” Chanyeol interrupts your sulking on the bed. Your face first in your black sheets so when you look up at him, it’s hard to see where you cried. “Me and Baek are going out. Did you want to join us?”
“Not really.” You plop your face back into the pillow.
You had originally been studying for your finals, but evidently, could not focus.
“Come on. Let’s do something. We’ll go wherever you want.” Baekhyun’s voice is loud and bright. Most importantly, convincing. Hanging out with Baekhyun does sound fun. You peek from your pillow to find Baekhyun’s beaming smile. He gives you that knowing look that gets you smiling within seconds.
“Can I drive?” You ask, voice muffled from the pillow.
“No way!”
“Absolutely!”
Baekhyun smiles as he hits Chanyeol. “This is the perfect time to teach her stick!” He exclaims as both you and Chanyeol wince for different reasons. Chanyeol is nervous about his car while you get reminded of your driving lessons with Kyungsoo.
“I’ve been learning.” You mutter, glancing at Chanyeol for a reaction. He doesn’t look impressed, rolling his eyes, but nudging his head towards the door. His cool way of telling you “yeah okay”.
Baekhyun, on the other hand, is ecstatic for you. He doesn’t have a manual but he knows Chanyeol and he knows what a big deal this is for you. Baekhyun himself has only driven it a handful of times. He excitingly waves for you to come quickly, despite not being dressed.
“We’re not going anywhere crazy.” Chanyeol says, wanting to leave the house right away.
As promised, your brothers let you take them to wherever you want to go. Wherever you want turns out to be a board game pub in the city you’ve always wanted to visit but could never find anyone to go with.
“You’re so annoying.” You complain when Chanyeol builds yet another road to block yours, giving him the longest road award.
“And you’re a sore loser.” Chanyeol sticks his tongue out as he steals the road card with your 2 points. You roll your eyes and turn to Baekhyun.
“Please tell me you have 2 secret points in your cards.” Your eyes are pleading. If anyone could humble Chanyeol, it’s Baekhyun. His best friend only smiles and shrugs, not giving away anything.
You roll the dice and laugh pitifully when you roll a 7. Normally, you’d steal from Chanyeol but he just used all his resources to build that massive wall of a road.
“Sorry.” You apologize to Baekhyun who can only smile.
“It’s just a game.” He says as you pull a sheep from him.
“I guess I’ll pull a development card.” You exchange the cards for a special one. You groan when you see another knight card.
“Are you done?” Chanyeol smiles teasingly.
“Yes, I’m done, Chanyeol.” You say, bored.
“Okay, I’m going to build 2 roads with my development card. Build a settlement. And I win.” Baekhyun talks you through his winning hand. He steals the road card and reveals the 2 secret victory points. You immediately start laughing at Chanyeol’s face of disbelief. Only Baekhyun is capable of defeating Chanyeol. And oh, did that make you happy.
“I love this game.” You exclaim as you start cleaning up the board game. “Did you guys want to play a different game?”
“Whatever you like, Y/N. We really just wanted to hang out with you.” Baekhyun says for the both of them. It warms your heart that you had brothers like them to come cheer you up like this. You and Chanyeol butt heads most times, but when it counts. He’s there.
“Want another drink?” Chanyeol asks, already over being the loser. You nod, about to get up to join him and maybe look for a different game to play. Baekhyun gently grabs onto your wrist. You turn back, confused.
“I was just gonna find a game.” You tell him, pointing in the direction of the shelf.
“I know. Sit for a sec. I wanna talk to you.” His smile is always so bright and comforting. You forget he holds a black belt in hapkido and has beaten people’s asses before. You return to your seat.
You’re not really sure where Baekhyun is going with this. Your relationship was more of an extended brother, one that would make you crouch so he could practice his jumps. There were never deep-talks at night. Chanyeol and Baekhyun kind of left you alone when you were feeling down. They would ask to hang out to get you smiling again. They would give consequences to those who put you down.
Talking. Talking is new.
“I wanted to ask how you were doing. Chanyeol told me what he did, but other than that. I don’t really know how you’re doing. Clearly, not great.” Baekhyun jokes as the image of you plopped face down on your bed flashes into his mind.
“I’m ok. I told him to leave me alone yesterday.” You purse your lips, doing your best not to pout. Baekhyun leans back, taking a sip of his drink. “And I don’t know. It’s sad. I’m sad. He says he likes me but what if he’s still trying to win the bet. I don’t know. I feel like I should feel lucky that Kyungsoo even ‘wants’ to date someone like me, just accept his apology and ignore this all happened. But I can’t. It’s weird. I feel so weird.”
“’S not weird. It was a really shitty thing to do.” He replies, scoffing to himself at how insane this situation is. “You still like him?”
“Unfortunately.” You sigh, not needing another reminder. It was so easy to fall for him.
“Then wait til after the semester’s over. See if he’s still interested after.” Baekhyun leans closer to the table and places the glass on the coaster. “I promise a guy who actually likes you would not leave you alone that easily.”
“I guess.” You shrug, leaning back against your chair.
You don’t think you have it in you to actually wait 2 weeks for Kyungsoo. You’ll try to move on in the meantime, but there was no harm in seeing if Baekhyun was right.
--------
You don’t know what you were expecting.
Kyungsoo actually leaving you alone did not surprise you, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t a tiny bit disappointed. You did tell him to leave you alone after all. Who were you to be upset that he respected your wishes?
Finals pass in a blur and so did your feelings for Kyungsoo.
It helped that you didn’t see Kyungsoo or his friends this past month, not once. You couldn’t find them in the lecture hall. You scanned every seat for them, and not a single one had Kyungsoo in it. He didn’t surprise you after class with ice cream.
Kyungsoo listened. And you finally felt at peace knowing that you could truly move on.
Now you knew, Kyungsoo was never really serious about his feelings for you. Now you knew, he was just a liar that would have done anything to win a bet.
To congratulate yourself for getting this far, you take yourself out for a self-love date. It doesn’t take long for you to stumble across the thrift store where Kyungsoo found the Spider-Man comic.
You haven’t been since Kyungsoo. You’ve been aching to go since finals ended, but you didn’t have the courage to go til now.
You beeline to the mountains of comics and take a deep breath, eyes shining at the marvel in front of you. You started at one corner, crouching down and flipping through the frail books.
Before you knew it, a pile was growing at your side. Every single time you’d find something interesting, you’d put it aside. You didn’t even care to check for the value on some of them. Today was for you. You didn’t want to think about anything else, just superheroes.
The bell to the front door barely breaks your focus. Not many people have been coming in here today. You don’t pay them any attention.
“I’ll be right with you. I’ll just grab them in the back.” The store clerk says in a giddy tone.
Flip ‘Burn Nightwing Burn!’ You add it to the pile.
Flip ‘Gotham City Sirens’ Hmm, it’s a pretty cover, you think. You add it to the pile.
“Thank you so much for your help.”
You freeze at the unmistakably familiar voice. You crouch even more than you were, attempting to hide. There was no way he knew you were here right now. You shake your head. He hasn’t reached out in a month. He doesn’t like you. You’re over that. You try to remind yourself of the efforts you’ve made and how far you’ve come. You return to what you came here for.
Flip ‘War of the Worlds’ Maybe you’ll pass on these for today.
Flip -
“It’s no worries. You can always go through me if you need to grade anymore. My friend works there so you don’t need to drown in all those fees. Alright?” The clerk says. Grade? What could Kyungsoo be possibly be grading?
Your body straightens as your curiosity rises. Your neck stretches as you try and take a peek at what Kyungsoo bought. You purse your lips when all you see is a box in his arms. Without thinking, your legs follow him out the store, leaving the poor pile of comics on the dusty carpet.
You don’t even know what the plan was. Were you just going to follow him until he turns around and shows you what he got? You didn’t plan on confronting him at all. You never even planned on meeting him at all!
It was supposed to be: get through ASTRO101 and never see him again.
Not get through ASTRO101 and follow him out of the thrift store.
You don’t realize how insane you are until he’s getting into his car, and you stealthily hide in an alleyway, away from his mirrors. You know you’ve completely lost it when you haul a cab soon after and ask him to follow Kyungsoo’s car.
You’ve gone crazy. That must be it. You’ve truly lost your mind. Because there was no way you were making a taxi follow Kyungsoo out of curiosity. It had to be because you were becoming clinically insane.
This must be how Harley Quinn felt following The Joker. Maybe Kyungsoo was your villain origin story.
You shake your head, no, you don’t like him anymore.
You reach for your wallet and pay the driver when he parks the car to the side and waits for you to quit daydreaming.
“Sorry.” You apologize timidly, embarrassed by all of this. Kyungsoo was already out of the car and walking up the stairs to an apartment you assume is his. “You can keep the change.”
You stumble out of the backseat and watch him from below. Your heart races seeing him again. He’s wearing a baseball cap, a white shirt and some cargo pants. It’s so effortless, and yet so cool. You hesitate to go up. You’ve come this far. How could you stop now?
Kyungsoo struggles to open the door with the box in his arm. He turns around and sets it on the floor, catching your curious stare. Busted. You gulp when you think you catch a glimpse of his eyes lighting up at the sight of you.
Your mood sinks when his eyes shift elsewhere. He turns around and unlocks his door instead of acknowledging you. He quickly grabs the box and shuts the door, leaving you agape at the bottom of the stairs.
It was unbelievable. He saw you. He definitely did.
You know you begged him to leave you alone, but a quick wave would have been polite, at the very least.
Your legs irrationally bring you up the stairs. You don’t even know what you’ll say to him. All you know is that you’re upset he’d ignore you like that.
You knock on the door.
He opens it, surprised. Not sure why he’s so surprised, he literally saw you.
“Y/N... Hi.” He says awkwardly.
“Yeah hi. I get that I said to leave me alone. But why would you ignore me like that? You clearly saw me!” You frown. You don’t think you’re yelling, but the way he looks behind him at the other door makes you think you’re being a tad bit loud.
“Come inside. My neighbours will hear you.” He gently places a hand on your arm to get you to come in. You eye the box, still in his hand. You shut the door as he takes off his shoes. You follow, biting your lip nervously. You’ve never been to Kyungsoo’s place before.
You’re right behind him as you climb up more stairs to his place. It’s small, perfect for one person. There’s a living room as soon as you reach the top and the bedroom is right next to it. Your eyes scan to the right to find an office space and some recording equipment. His place is minimal. Not heavily decorated.
It makes the sole box on the floor seem out of place.
“So, you came all this way to yell at me for following orders?” He places the box over the other and crosses his arms, lips dying to curve as he teases you.
“T-They weren’t orders.” You stutter, finding his stance a bit too belittling. “I just think it’s rude that you didn’t even give me a smile back there. You saw me.”
He tilts his head to the side with a sly lift of his lips.
“You wanted to see me smile?” He was enjoying this and you just wanted to go back to the thrift store to bury yourself under the mountains of comics.
“No, wait, that’s not what I meant. I just- You were really rude!” You try to explain. You came marching to him with confidence, and here he was, deteriorating all your efforts with a single smile.
He approaches you, backing you into the stairs with nowhere else to go, except down.
“What’re you even doing here? This is far from your place.” He raises an eyebrow curiously.
“I... was at the thrift store.” You say, feeling caught.
“I was just there.” Kyungsoo says surprisingly. “It’s a coincidence that you’d walk right by my place as soon as I got home. Did you get anything cool?”
He glances at your empty hands. He smirks and takes it upon himself to peek in your tote bag, using a single finger to open the bag a little wider for him. He turns to look at you knowingly. There was not a single comic book in there, just a water bottle and your Batman wallet. “Couldn’t find anything?”
“N-No.” You gulp, his face inches away from yours. His plush lips were right there. It was taking everything in you not to glance at them.
“Did you follow me, Y/N?” He asks, towering over you. You were well under his hat - heels centimeters away from falling off his stairs. He was so close to you. There was no way out.
But you couldn’t help it. You didn’t want out. Not with the way he was looking at you.
You stand on your tiptoes and kiss him, tote bag falling off your shoulder and down the top step. Without hesitation, Kyungsoo places a hand on your lower back and pulls you in closer. His hat bumps into your glasses. Kyungsoo quickly removes it, throwing it on the sofa, before hurriedly returning to your lips.
“It was killing me. Not seeing you anymore.” He admits through breaths. “I really missed you. Did you?”
His eyes search yours for a sign that you did miss him too.
Despite convincing yourself that you moved on, you really haven’t, did you?
“A bit.”
Kyungsoo’s face beams upon hearing your words. He grabs your face and kisses you enthusiastically.
“I’m really sorry again for everything. I didn’t mean to hurt you. None of it was fake-”
You frown and cut him off with a kiss, walking him into the couch. He trips and falls onto the cushion, taken aback.
“I was apologizing.” Kyungsoo blinks in disbelief. He doesn’t seem to mind that much by the way he’s rubbing your denim covered thighs.
“I know. You didn’t change your speech.” You try and suppress the smile growing on your face.
“It’s not a speech! I really feel that way. Yes, I approached you for the wrong reasons, but the bet went out the window the moment I got to know you and spend time with you. Teaching you to drive, getting ice cream, ‘studying’ with you. I didn’t care what we did. I just wanted to spend all of my time with you. How can I make you see that?” Kyungsoo doesn’t stop massaging your side. His eyes are begging you to hear him.
You sigh, tired of all this.
Your heart was exhausted, listening to Kyungsoo, falling for Kyungsoo, beating for Kyungsoo. He made you feel so seen and wanted. Your heart was tired of the never-ending loop of should you or shouldn’t you, wanting to find a way to convince that stubborn mind of yours.
“I think I’m tired of pretending I’m not able to forgive you.” You say lowly. Kyungsoo darts his eyes to your pair expectingly.
“You forgive me?” He’s looking up at you, unable to hide the stupid grin on his face.
“That’s not what I said.” You scoff, returning a small smile. You push your glasses that have fallen a bit lower from the bridge of your nose because of how long you’ve been looking down at Kyungsoo.
His grip suddenly tightens around your thigh, not too tight that it hurts, but enough for you to know you did something to trigger him. You gulp when he tugs you a bit closer so you were standing in between his legs.
“Then what did you mean?” He questions you, stupid grin still visible. It looks like you didn’t upset him. His hands were rubbing your lower back, mindlessly massaging you for an answer. Your mind can’t think when he’s biting his bottom lip and staring up at you so cunningly. “What can I do to make you forgive me? Hm?”
“Can you stop that?” You force his smile down in annoyance with two fingers, making his lips frown like some reverse Joker. “It’s making me nervous.”
You can’t lie though. Being like this with Kyungsoo felt like a dream. You, yourself, could not stop the grin growing on your face.
“It’s hard to forgive you.” You sound like a broken record. You think this conversation isn’t going anywhere, just like the last two talks you had with him.
“Then why did you come here? What do you want from me?” You don’t stop him from rubbing your thighs comfortingly. He doesn’t ask with malice or hurt in his voice. He asks with a complaisant tone.
So you say the one thing your heart’s been begging you to confess.
“I really just want you right now.” It comes out breathier than you intend, not realizing how long you’ve been holding your breath for. Kyungsoo’s smile grows under you.
“Then have me.”
You feel a knot growing in your stomach as you watch his warm gaze scan you. He has your whole body heating up on his lap.
Like a moth to a flame, you lean down to press your lips softly against his. His hands shoot up to encompass your body, running up and down your back.
This didn’t feel real.
Kyungsoo smiles between kisses. His tongue dances with yours, making that knot grow especially heavier. It makes you suddenly aware of how experienced Kyungsoo is and how inept you are.
“I don’t know what to do.” You admit between breaths, resting a hand on his chest. His heart’s racing in the palm of your hand. The privilege of feeling the warm beat of his heart is taken away when he takes a hold of your fingers and brings it to his lips, kissing your palm sweetly.
“I’ll show you.” He says lowly near your ear as he shifts under you. You feel your chest get heavier and you take a deep breath to ease the nerves. Kyungsoo sees this and pauses.
“We can stop. I’m happy just being here with you.”
“No, I want to.” You fold your lips into your mouth, trying to hide how shy you are feeling right now. You play with your hair cluelessly, tucking them behind your ear.
“I’ve wanted this for a long time.” You confess, avoiding his gaze, still shy.
“Me too.” Kyungsoo chases after your eyes with a smile. He’s looking at you the same way he did before he became the man who played you for a bet. And for now, that’s all you want to remember him by.
“Take these off.” He unbuttons your jeans for you and plays with the waistline until you shimmy it off, leaving you in your underwear. Kyungsoo is unable to hide his smirk when he sees the little yellow bat logo. He rubs your side, looking up at you and making that knot grow inside of you.
“You’re so pretty, Y/N.” He says before placing a kiss on your inner thigh. You feel your heat pulse when he runs two fingers across your folds. “So warm.”
“Put your leg up for me?” He asks but he’s already moving you the way he wants you to, lifting your inner thigh so that your knee was near his head. You don’t know what to expect, letting him take control of everything. You gasp and grab a hold of his shoulder when he pulls your underwear to the side and laps his tongue on your slit.
“Kyungsoo.” You moan when he brings his face closer to your opening, letting his mouth devour you – sucking and licking you with intensity. Your grip on him tightens, feeling bad that you might be hurting him. You do your best not to hold him too strongly, eyes shutting tightly to compensate. When you thought you wouldn’t be able to handle anymore, he slides a finger inside, slowly fucking you.
“Look at me.” He finally comes up for air. “’s it feel good?”
You nod, using the back of your hand to stifle your moan when he adds a second finger.
“D’you like it?” He tries angling his fingers different ways until he finds the reaction he’s looking for. And when he gets it, the back of your hand isn’t enough to cover that moan.
“Kyungsoo!” You call out his name, unconsciously pushing him away from the overstimulation. He’s stronger than you are though, keeping himself steady as you lose it above him. He continues to hit that spot in you as he devours your cunt with his tongue.
“You’re not looking. I want to remember the first time I make you cum.” His other hand grabs onto yours and places it on his other shoulder – still fucking you with his fingers by the way.
“Just squeeze here. You won’t hurt me.” He tells you before returning his mouth on your body. His eyes are looking up at you, compelling you to hold the eye contact. You can feel him smile as he continues eat you like it’s the last meal he’ll ever get.
Your glasses slide down your nose once again and you almost push them up until Kyungsoo goes faster, sucking and slurping your juices. Your grip tightens on his shoulder and you feel your glasses fall even further.
“Don’t.” Kyungsoo warns when you try to push them back. “The glasses don’t move.”
You immediately come undone, body shaking as Kyungsoo’s fingers fuck you through your orgasm. Your heavy breathing as Kyungsoo takes his fingers out and shows you how wet you got, spreading his fingers to create a web of your juices.
“Well, how was that?”
You can’t help but laugh. You straddle him on the couch and tackle his lips.
“So good.” You smile and finally, push your glasses up.
“Good enough to forgive me?” He tucks a hair behind your ear, eyes shining as he scans your face, glowing in sweat.
“Mhmmm.” You feign thinking.
“Oh, that’s not a good response. Let me try again.”
“Kyungsoo!” You squeal when he flips you on your back and situates his head at your entrance again.
“Gonna make you cum til you forgive me.”
--------
You stay over at Kyungsoo’s, unable to move too much with the throbbing pain between your legs. Kyungsoo hands you a mug with hot chocolate and joins you on the couch, spreading a blanket across you two.
“Is this really your favourite Batman?” Kyungsoo turns to you with a questioning look.
“I know it’s not the coolest, but it reminds me of my childhood. We had the VHS and we would always watch it.” You take a sip of the hot drink before setting it down and resting your head on his shoulder. Snuggling Kyungsoo was a lot warmer. He kisses the top of your head and pulls you in closer.
“Kyungsoo,” You say, tone serious. “Were you really gonna leave me alone?”
He looks down to find you already staring up at him.
“You asked me to.”
“I know... But-”
“It’s what you wanted. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I did.” He continues, cutting you off. “I like you, Y/N. A lot. I don’t want you out of my life, ever, but if letting you go meant you’ll see how much I respect and care for you, then it would have been worth it. I hope I can spend every second together proving that my intentions are true.”
You place a hand on his jaw and reach for his lips, kissing him.
“I really thought you’d keep bugging me. I’m glad you didn’t.” You laugh, turning back to watch the movie.
“And I’m glad you followed me from the comic book store.”
You freeze and slowly turn to him instead.
“I didn’t follow you!” You deny, deny, deny until you feel the blood rush to your cheeks in embarrassment.
“Yes you did! I saw you get out of that cab!” He laughs at you, squeezing your cheek teasingly.
“I just- What did you have graded?? I didn’t even know they did that there.” You pout.
“Wow, you really did stalk me.” He scoffs, shaking his head disapprovingly.
“I did not!” You shout. “What’s in the box?”
Kyungsoo gulps. You look at him suspiciously, then to the box on the floor.
You quickly get up from the couch, the aching now forgotten from your adrenaline rush, and run to grab the box. You open it and find multiple graded comic books. Not just any. All Batman themed. Some of them weren’t even valuable but he got them graded anyways.
Were these for you?
“Ok, you caught me.” He says, towering over you. “I wanted to build this massive collection for you after our first date to try and win you back but then you told me off and that plan went out the window.”
“You’re welcome to have them if you’re still interested. I was going to sell them if you threw them in my face or something.” Kyungsoo laughs, rubbing the back of his neck.
“This must have cost a lot...” You scan through the comics in awe. You tear up thinking about him scanning through the dusty piles of comic books, picking ones he thought you’d like then paying to have them graded. If you didn’t forgive him before, you certainly did now.
You drop the box and wrap your arms around him tightly.
“You like me.” You mutter in his chest to yourself, finally feeling convinced.
“I do. I really, really do.” Kyungsoo smiles, pulling you close and kissing the top of your head.
chananyeol bong: psa everything i know about batman is from my dad and a quick google search looool pls forgive me for i am a spiiiiidermayynn girlie!! 🤟🏻fffwwwwttt 🕸️once again i did not review the smut bc i get shy rereading that hahahha :') i hope you guys enjoyed this <3 tysm for reading and giving this story so much love 🥹💖💘💕onto the next one!!!! 🫡
[boyfriend!kyungsoo. established relationship, hurt/comfort, fluff]
a/n: reader is gender neutral, kyungsoo's ex is fem.
kyungsoo knows you’re upset. and he hates not knowing what to do to make it go away.
“sweetheart,” he tries, watching you buckle your seat belt.
you don’t respond. don’t even look at him. your gaze is focused on the streetlamp in front of the car, its light flickering against the darkness of the night.
he sighs. “will you just look at me? you don’t need to say anything.”
you turn to him, eyes fixed on his, but they’re devoid of warmth. you look…tired. and he hates seeing you that way. but he persists, swallowing a lump in his throat.
“i love you.”
silence.
“i didn’t mean for any of that to happen. at all.”
“but it did,” you say monotonously.
“and i’m truly sorry that it did. i didn’t expect her of all people to be there. i didn’t know chanyeol hyung would invite her, either.”
“doesn't he know how weird your ex is?”
kyungsoo winces. “a little, yeah. but i haven’t heard from her in months. you know that. and hyung's just..friendly.”
“just like she is, right?”
kyungsoo runs a hand through his hair, a frustrated exhale escaping his lips. “i don’t know what to say,” he says eventually. “it’s not like i called her to the party. i haven’t wanted to be around her in ages anyway. and i’m here with you, not her. i even pushed her away the second she tried making a move on me. i’m sorry you saw that, and i’m sorry it even happened in the first place. but i don’t know what else to say.”
your gaze drops to your hands resting on your lap. “can we just go home?” you ask quietly.
kyungsoo hates hearing how silent your voice is, like you’re trying not to take up space, but then—
“my home. i think i want to spend the night alone. please, soo,” you add, before he has a chance to interject.
his heart feels like it’s been stabbed. of course it’s not your fault for feeling that way, but he can't ignore how it hurts.
“yeah,” he says, turning on the ignition, hand trembling a little. hopefully you haven’t seen that. “i’ll—yeah. i’ll make sure you get home safe, at least.”
the drive home—to your home—is painfully quiet. there’s no sound of songs from the radio, or your shared playlist, or even random things from your day you always fill kyungsoo in on. it’s just silence, the occasional sound of horns from other vehicles, or the sound of gravel crunching underneath the car’s tyres.
kyungsoo doesn’t like it one bit. it’s unnatural. totally against the way your relationship works. he’s used to listening quietly while he hears you talk. he loves your voice. he loves knowing about things that make you happy. and he loves that you don’t mind him not talking as much. but when you’re silent, too, it feels like there’s something really wrong with the world.
it's not long before you reach your apartment. kyungsoo parks the car and pulls the handbrake. for a minute, neither of you says anything. then you unbuckle your seatbelt and grab your bag.
“’night, kyungsoo,” you say, not looking at him, and that’s what finally breaks him.
he reaches out to grab your hand, fingers finding yours.
he’ll take the silence. he’ll take you being upset for whatever happened tonight even though it’s not exactly his fault. but having to hear his full name?
kyungsoo may not be a softie to everyone who knows him, but he’ll be damned if he goes to bed without hearing you call him by his nickname.
“i love you. tell me you know that.”
you sigh. “...i do.”
“only you, sweetheart. there’s been no one else for me since you, and i know there won’t be anyone else again. believe me, please?”
he can almost see the cogs running in your brain, thinking over his words, and then you slump in your seat, posture no longer poised.
“you said it was going to be a fun night out tonight.”
“i know. and i’m so s—”
“i’m not mad at you, soo,” you say, finally looking at him. “just…upset. but don’t apologize to me. it’s not your fault.”
your words feel like ambrosia to a starving man. “sweetheart…”
“i just wanted to hear that from you. that you love me.”
“what can i do to make you believe me? do you want me to shout it to everyone? i can try doing that for you.”
there’s a smile on your face. finally. kyungsoo’s grip on your hand relaxes, but you hold his tighter.
“who are you, and what did you do to my usually reserved boyfriend?”
“just a man in love with you,” kyungsoo says, reaching out to cup your face in his hand.
you close your eyes and lean into his touch. “always know what to say, don’t you?”
“it’s just the truth.”
you nod. “i love you too, soo. sorry i acted like that. i didn't want to ruin your mood.”
“you didn't,” he insists, appalled at the very thought. “i'm always happy when i'm with you.”
there's silence again, but it's comfortable this time. eventually, you move away to open the door and get out.
part of him wants to follow you home, occupy his side of your bed, fall asleep to the sound of your breathing.
the other part of him, the gentlemanly part, resists. you wanted to be alone, after all.
but then you're leaning in through the open window, a confused look on your face.
“you're not coming with me?”
kyungsoo sits up. “i thought you said—”
“yeah, well, that was before my boyfriend declared his love to me like the cheesiest man in the world. hurry up now, i want to see that movie you were talking about yesterday.”
kyungsoo knows he loves you, but it's moments like these that make him realize you're always going to be his future.
✮ summary : kyungsoo sees you skipping meals during your work week. on his day off, he makes sure that’s not happening tonight.
✮ warning / tags: none! just pure domestic fluff, soft!kyungsoo, established relationship, food mentions, slight exhaustion on reader’s part, kyungsoo being the most boyfriend ever
a/n : i’m giggling, kicking my feet 🫠
The apartment is quiet in the way that only exists on his days off.
No schedule. No vocal warm-ups at six in the morning. No manager knocking. Just Kyungsoo, cross-legged on the couch with a book open in his lap, a mug of barley tea steaming on the coffee table, and the kind of stillness he’d been craving for weeks.
He should be enjoying this.
He is enjoying this.
Mostly.
His phone buzzes at half past eleven.
—
from: you
hey, soo. i have a bad news
i’m sorryy..
they’re keeping us late again :(
probably won’t be home until 9 or 10 tonight
i already feel terrible don’t be nice to me about it
—
Kyungsoo stares at the messages for a moment. Then he types back.
to: you
okay 👌🏼
—
from: you
that’s it? just “okay”?!
doh kyungsoo said OKAY
i’m filing for divorce
—
He snorts quietly, the corner of his mouth pulling up. He sets the phone face-down on the cushion and looks toward the kitchen.
Okay, he thinks. Nine o’clock.
He has time.
The thing about Kyungsoo is that he doesn’t say much when something bothers him. He doesn’t complain, doesn’t make a fuss, doesn’t text you seventeen times asking when you’ll be home. That’s not how he works.
What he does instead, what he’s always done is cook.
He already knows what he’s making. Miso soup. Simple, warm, the kind of thing that doesn’t ask anything of you when you’re already running on empty. He’s made it for you before, on other late nights, other bad weeks, and he knows by now exactly how you like it. A little more tofu than usual. Soft tofu, not firm. A handful of wakame. The dashi broth made from scratch because the instant kind is fine but fine has never really been in his vocabulary when it comes to you.
He ties on his apron and gets to work.
There’s a particular kind of peace that settles over Kyungsoo when he cooks. The rest of his life requires so much precision, so much performance, so much of him being watched and measured and evaluated. But the kitchen is just the kitchen. The tofu gets cut into even cubes. The wakame softens in warm water, turning dark and silky. The dashi simmers slowly, the smell of it filling the apartment. Understated and quiet, like everything he tends to love.
He thinks about you while he cooks. Not in a worried way, just you. The way you look when you’re tired, that specific crease between your brows you don’t notice you’re making. How you always kick your shoes off before you even close the front door. How you’ll eat standing up at the counter if he lets you, too exhausted to make it all the way to the table.
He won’t let you tonight.
He sets the table. Two bowls, two pairs of chopsticks, a small dish of rice on the side because soup alone isn’t enough and he knows you won’t think to ask for more. He adjusts things once and then tells himself to stop fussing.
His phone buzzes again at 09:00.
—
from: you
leaving now. finally 😩
i think i’ve forgotten what your face looks like
is this what ghosts feel like
wait no i’m so tired i don’t even know what that means ignore me
—
to: you
just come home safely
—
from: you
yes sir 🫡
—
He turns the heat to low to keep the soup warm and sits down to wait.
He hears your key in the lock at 10:15.
The door opens. There’s the familiar shuffle of shoes being toed off, the soft thud of your bag hitting the floor, and then silence, for just a second.
“Soo?”
Your voice comes out quieter than usual. A little rough around the edges.
He appears in the kitchen doorway, dish towel over his shoulder, expression completely neutral in the way that means he’s pleased with himself but will absolutely not be showing it.
You look past him at the table. At the bowls set neatly side by side. At the small steady curl of steam rising from the pot on the stove.
“You made miso soup?” you say. Like you can’t quite believe it.
“You sounded tired.”
“Soo…” Your voice does something complicated. “You didn’t have to—”
“I wanted to.” He steps aside and gestures at the table. “Sit down.”
You open your mouth like you might argue, which both of you know is not going to happen, and then you close it again and shuffle over to the table and sink into your chair like all the air has gone out of you.
He ladles the soup himself. Careful, unhurried, making sure you get enough tofu. He sets it in front of you and sits across from you and says nothing.
You wrap both hands around the bowl first, just holding it. The warmth seeping into your palms.
Then you take a sip.
He watches you close your eyes for exactly two seconds.
“It’s good,” you say, softly.
“I know,” he says.
You open your eyes and look at him, and there’s something in your expression that’s too tired to be complicated. Just open, just grateful, just you at the end of a long day with nowhere left to perform.
“Thank you. I really love you,” you say. Simply. Like it’s the easiest thing.
Kyungsoo looks down at his bowl. The back of his neck feels warm.
“Eat while it’s hot,” he says.
You smile. He sees it even though he’s not looking.
Later, you’re both on the couch. You’re leaning against him with your legs tucked up, already halfway to sleep, your head a comfortable weight on his shoulder. The TV is on but neither of you is really watching it.
“Today was awful,” you mumble into his sleeve.
“I know.”
“Like genuinely terrible. My manager kept moving the deadline and then—” you trail off, and he waits, but you don’t finish the sentence. You sigh instead. “Whatever. It’s over.”
“It’s over,” he agrees.
A beat of quiet.
“The soup was really good,” you say. “I had two bowls.”
“I know.”
“Don’t judge me.”
“I’m not.” He isn’t. He’s the one who refilled your bowl without being asked.
You shift slightly, tucking yourself more firmly against his side, and he adjusts automatically to accommodate you. His arm settles around your shoulders. On screen, something happens that neither of you will remember tomorrow.
“Next time you have a bad week,” you say, already sounding half-asleep, “I’m making something for you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to,” you murmur back at him, and he can hear the small smile in your voice even with your eyes closed.
Kyungsoo looks at the side of your face. The crease between your brows is gone now. Your breathing is already slowing, evening out.
He doesn’t say anything else.
He reaches over and turns the TV volume down lower, until it’s just background noise, just the murmur of something distant and unimportant. He doesn’t move. He lets you sleep.
Outside, the city keeps going. In here, everything is warm and quiet and still.
your feedback (via replies or chat with me thru asks ^^) and reblog with tags are greatly appreciated when you read one of my writings!
requests: OPEN
enemies to lovers prompt list challenge: SOON
angst prompt list challenge: DONE
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note: i stan ot9 but i won't be writing for jongdae to give respect to his family
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— almost (requested)
sehun x reader / non-idol au / fluff / 1.9k
four times it was an almost and one time it became a finally
— morning glory (requested) ✿
sehun x f!reader / non-idol au / crack, fluff / 1.7k wc
sehun meets reader for the first time, but that isn't the only first that transpired
— more than a dance (requested)
sehun x f.idol!reader / dance practice au / fluff, eventual smut / 5.1k wc
sehun gets the chance to dance with his crush in more ways than one
— all i wanted (angst writing challenge)
sehun x reader / unrequited love au / 0.5k wc
"i fell for you."
— against all odds (angst writing challenge)
sehun x reader / apocalypse au / 1.0k wc
"i was doing fine. really, and then you waltz back in like you didn't break my heart."
— virgins no more (requested)
virgin!sehun x virgin!reader / loss of virginity au / eventual smut / 3.3k wc
you and sehun decide to take things further in your relationship
— something to remember by (requested)
sehun x singer!reader / idol au / fluff / 1.3k wc
sehun's gold necklace brought more attention to him than intended, but he doesn't regret wearing it
— fortuitous encounter (requested)
sehun x actress!reader / idol au / fluff / 1.3k wc
the parting between sehun and you left a bittersweet taste in both of your hearts, but this fortuitous encounter in egypt appeared to be the perfect opportunity to rekindle the long-lost spark that had once burned between you two
all rights reserved to gyudior (2023). please do not repost, continue, or translate my works.
Imagine being nervous around D.O. because of his angry reputation and having no idea D.O. has a soft spot for you because he has a crush on you
Exo's Kai was your cousin and he was one year younger than you. You were both idols and being family and similar ages, interacted a lot. You saw each other often and were always at each other's houses, hanging out with the other's members and that was how Kai quickly noticed some things.
D.O. was into you! His eyes would go to you when you entered a room and even though he wasn't obvious he'd follow what you were saying and was very aware of you. He'd tell Baekhyun to knock it off if he was messing with you and was sweetly protective of you. Drunk D.O. was even more obvious and would stare at you the way a prince looks at a Disney princess.
Based on all this, Kai picked up on D.O.'s crush on your pretty much immediately and did everything in his power to get the two of you together but it was hard. For one, D.O. wouldn't outwardly admit he had a thing for you. Anytime Kai mentioned it he gave him a death glare and point-blank refused to engage in the conversation. Meanwhile, you were too nervous to say more than a few words to D.O. Kai tried talking him up to you and encouraging a conversation but frankly, you avoided D.O. and Kai had no idea why. D.O. was everything you wanted in a man but you just couldn't see it. So one day he asked you why you weren't comfortable around D.O. "I just get nervous around him Kai, I've seen him yell at Chanyeol and it scared me". Kai paused "wait when was this?". "At Sehun's 25 birthday party". Kai's eyes widened "but that was ages ago when you first started coming around". You nodded "I know, that was the first time I met him and it just stuck with me. I'd had a rough week and my manager had yelled at me all day so when he yelled it scared me and I don't know that's just always kind of stuck".
What neither of you knew was D.O. was outside the room listening and folded his hands to stop them from shaking. He felt awful. He didn't even remember the party you were talking about but it sounded like him.
"Then I don't know, he can sometimes look angry and intimidating and I can never tell if he hates me or not" you continued. Kai shook his head almost laughing "he definitely doesn't hate you and I promise D.O. is not that scary. He's a bit tougher than say...Baekhyun but he's a softie really. You just have to talk to him to see it". You bit your lip "I'm just not sure" and Kai sighed "fine but just be open-minded yeah?" he asked. You nodded "okay I will be" but Kai didn't notice much change in your behaviour.
So you were too swayed by an interaction with D.O. almost a year ago and D.O. wasn't the type to just insert himself into a conversation or go up to a girl he didn't know very well and start talking so despite his crush nothing happened...but Kai was determined to change that.
You had dinner at Kai's often but when he found out all his members would be out except D.O. he was very excited. Kai didn't say anything to you and welcomed you like usual. You were both playing Mario kart when he pretended to get a phone call from Suho. He then told you there was some problem and he had to go to the studio. "I'll be back as soon as I can and D.O. can keep you company, I've told him the situation" he explained. He'd told D.O. his friend was having an emergency and he had to go and had purposefully asked him to be welcoming to you but he needn't have told D.O. that. D.O. remembered the conversation he overheard and he wanted to put some things straight.
D.O. figured a pretty good way to create a welcoming vibe was to bake. Everybody loved brownies and what said I'm not scary better than chocolate and raspberries? So D.O. got to work and you eventually came to find him in the kitchen, the nice smell wafting out to you.
"Hi" you said coming into the room and D.O. smiled at you "hi Y/n, how are you?". You paused at his friendly voice but told him you were good and enquired how he was. "I'm good" D.O. told you "thanks for asking, I've made cupcakes if you want one". "Really?" you asked and D.O. nodded "of course". "Thanks" you said taking one and sitting down. "Do you like cooking?" you asked and D.O. paused. This was the first time you'd asked him a question unprompted and embarassed him how much that pleased him. "Erm yeah I really enjoy it. I like how it's a really practical hobby and you can make any dish your own". You nodded "it's hard to do though...I burn everything I make even stuff that goes in the microwave". D.O. laughed "really? How". "Well I get confused with all the buttons and forget how long it needs to be in for...it's a mess". D.O. laughed "well I was going to cook dinner tonight and if you want I can show you some things?". You paused "are you sure? I'm a pretty bad student". D.O. remembered what he'd overheard that day and smiled "don't worry I promise not to get annoyed or angry". You searched his face for a few moments before nodding "okay" and came to stand beside him "so what's first?".
Kai returned home a few hours later with all his members and he was practically bouncing of the walls to see you and D.O. cooking dinner together. You announced the two of you had made dinner and D.O. was just helping you with the finishing touches. So you disappeared into the kitchen together and Kai watched you pretending not to. You looked so comfortable around D.O. now and D.O. himself was acting like a giant teddy bear. Dinner was served and you and D.O. fluttered around like nervous parents. You seemed especially worried that the food was edible but the boys soon told you it was delicious and you beamed. D.O. congratulated you and only then did the two of you sit down and eat. You sat together and Kai could see how happy D.O. was...which of course the other guys noticed too. "Is it just me or is D.O. glowing?" Baekhyun asked "anytime y/n looks at him he lights up". Sehun laughed "yeah now that you mention it, is he into her?". Chanyeol smirked "if he's not he's doing a good job of pretending". "They look good together" Lay said and Suho nodded "I was just thinking that". D.O. looked up and saw them all staring. His smile fell away and he glared at their smiles before turning back to you. "Awww pouty D.O. is the cutest" Baekhyun grinned. Kai popped a delicious piece of chicken into his mouth and considered this a huge success.
And it was!
After that the two of you grew closer and closer. Now D.O. would join you on your cousin days and Kai adored the way D.O. acted around you. He still wouldn't admit he had a thing for you but he also stopped denying it because all the guys teased him for it because he was just SO obvious. One night you were here late so it had gone dark by the time you were heading home. You only lived around the corner but D.O. walked you home just to make sure you were safe. Another time you were abroad for a few weeks and D.O. looked after all 5 of your house plants immaculately. Then when you heard D.O. wasn't going to be able to go home for his birthday you organised a small party and even baked a cake for him. Kai thought D.O. was going to pass out with pride when he heard you baked it yourself for him. D.O. didn't stop smiling the whole night and finally when the party was over Kai turned to him. "Still going to pretend you don't fancy my cousin?". In response D.O. just shook his head "I like her" and left the room. Kai squealed in delight.
Now you were both aware of one another he just had to get you two together and he had the perfect opportunity...a wedding!
Your joint cousin was getting married and the two of you had to be at the ceremony. You were stressing out because you'd just heard everyone had to have dates and Kai could've grinned at how perfect it was. "The wedding's in 2 weeks! How am I going to find a date on such short notice?". Kai smiled "Well why don't you ask D.O.?". You blushed "I...he's probably busy". Kai laughed "Have you forgot our cousin invited all of Exo and the boys are all going?" Kai asked. "But how do you know he hasn't asked someone else?". "Well let's ask him" Kai shrugged and yelled for D.O. "No don't! What if he doesn't want to?" you asked when D.O. appeared "what if I don't want to do what?". "Be Y/n's date" Kai said looking right at his friend. D.O. eye's widened and he blushed but luckily he was tanned enough to hide it. "To my cousin's wedding" you quickly clarified "I've just find out everyone in the family photos has to have a plus one but it's totally fine if you don't want to..." when D.O. shook his head "I don't mind, I'll be your date". "Really?" you asked and D.O. nodded "sure, it'll be fun" and you smiled hugging him "thanks D.O., I'll feel so much better with you over some random guy my mum would've got". D.O. smiled "no problem" and Kai had to hide his laughter at how dazed D.O. looked after you hugged him.
So two weeks later the wedding rolled around and you, Kai and D.O. all travelled separately to the boys because you had to be there early. You checked into the hotel and then a few hours later were in the church for the ceremony. D.O. was the perfect date, he was polite, kind and seemed to always be there when you needed him. You cut your hand on one of the flowers and he just had a tissue for you. When the weather suddenly became rainy he was there with his jacket to cover you and whenever any family members asked if you were together he side-stepped the question without being rude.
So by the time you made it to the reception you were so pleased D.O. was your date. He'd been perfect and you realised Kai had been right this entire time and you didn't know how to react. You vowed never to judge someone so quickly again and were having a really good time with D.O. Then you saw someone walk through the door and your smile dropped.
D.O. noticed the change in your behaviour and how pale you'd gone but he couldn't work out why. He looked around the room and turned back to you "what is it? What's wrong?". You looked down and shook your head "nothing just my ex is here...Eun said he wouldn't be here but I guess he turned up". D.O. looked across the room and saw a guy watching you. "Do you want me to get security?" D.O. asked. You shook your head "no he'll just cause a scene. It should be fine, he probably won't come up to me because he doesn't know who you are and that'll intimidate him". D.O. nodded "okay then I'm not leaving your side". The smile you gave him was so amazing it have him the courage to go one better. "Actually how about we dance? There's no reason why you have to hide away and I'll make sure he comes nowhere near you". You seemed very surprised by D.O.'s request and he worried you'd say no when you nodded "I'd love to!". D.O. took your hand and led you to the sea of people.
You were both adorably unsure around one another and took each other's hand delicately. D.O. gently put his hand on your waist and took the lead. You of course knew D.O. was an idol therefore, was experienced with dancing but it still took you by surprise how good he was! He took you around the floor effortlessly and it was very hot to see a guy like him be so good at dancing. You must've looked like you were having quite a lot of fun because you attracted attention from Eun.
After dancing for a while you and D.O. grabbed a drink and headed outside to cool off. Eun followed you. Eun waited until you were halfway down the path before calling your name and you looked back and froze. “Shit” you said and D.O. saw where you were looking “do you want me to speak to him?”. You sighed “no just let’s stop and see what he has to say”. Eun caught up to you quickly and raised his hands “what no hello?”. “Hi Eun” you said and he looked you up and down “that’s a bit cold for a childhood friend”. You didn’t reply but he didn’t take the hint “you look good, have you lost weight?”. D.O. wanted to pummel him right then and there but as if sensing this you touched D.O.’s arm and looked at Eun “no I haven’t”. Eun looked you up and down again and made a surprised noise. “We’re going now, it was nice to see you” you said and turned to walk away. “So soon but we haven’t even caught up!” he called following you. “She said we’re done!” D.O. called but that angered Eun. “So who's this Y/n? Your boyfriend?" Eun replied. You shook your head and D.O. continued walking, ignoring him. "I don't owe you any explanation" you said and D.O. nodded "she doesn't, come on y/n" and he led you away but Eun followed.
"If he's not your boyfriend then why were his hands all over you in there? If you're trying to make me jealous you should try harder" Eun called. D.O. shook his head "man this guy's an idiot". "What did you say!" Eun yelled and you tightened your grip on D.O.'s hand "come on let's just go back inside". D.O. was agreeing with you when Eun carried on. "I'm the idiot? You're the pathetic one y/n. Let's not forget you asked me out! You were the one chasing me Y/n. I have way more options than you and I was the best thing that ever happened to you but life finally started again when I was free of you". That's when D.O. lost it. "You have no clue what you're talking about! You came here, to her cousin's wedding to see her and she's the one who needs you?" D.O. asked yelling. Eun was slightly caught off guard by how D.O. had changed from a quiet sweet guy to a scary man ready to kick his ass. He went to reply but D.O. cut him off "no, you're done speaking and if you say another word I'll shut your mouth for you. Got it?" D.O. asked. You watched nervously, hoping D.O. wouldn't hit him if he made a smart comment but Eun was smarter than you gave him credit for. "Whatever" he muttered and walked away.
Once he'd gone you felt better but turned to D.O. nervously. "Are you okay?" you asked and he nodded calming down "I'm fine...are you?". "I'm okay" you said cautiously and D.O. recalled your first impression of him and cursed himself for getting angry. "Y/n I'm so sorry for yelling at him like that and not just ignoring him like you said. I know you might think less of me now but I hope I can make that up to you". "Think less of you?" you asked “D.O. I couldn't think more of you! You defended me when you didn't have to and said things I wish I had the courage to say so thank you". D.O. blinked "you're thanking me? I was worried I'd made you nervous by raising my voice..." D.O. said but you shook your head "no I know you're safe so that didn't scare me". That was so nice for D.O. to hear he felt like dancing all over again. "But I don't think I want to go back to the party, so I'll head to my room". D.O. nodded "let me walk you" and you fell in step together.
The hotel looked really pretty in the evening and the now quiet night made it feel like it was just the two of you in the world."Y/n just in case you aren't aware that guy is an asshole and you can do so much better than him. There are so many guys who would love to date you, who would treat you right and be there for you so please don't listen to that idiot". You laughed awkwardly and D.O. smiled "I'm serious! He didn't know what he was talking about, you were way too good for him". You didn't respond and when you turned D.O. realised you hadn't been laughing but were crying. "Ow y/n I'm so sorry..." he started when you cut him off "no it's okay. They're happy tears. Thank you. That was really sweet and I didn't expect it but I needed to hear that". "Of course!" D.O. said offering you a tissue and you took it. D.O. helped you sit down on a nearby bench and waited for you to stop crying. "I haven't dated since Eun and I've thought a lot of the stuff he said tonight about myself". D.O. shook his head furious "but none of that stuff was true! He was lucky to have you and you're far too good for him. Plus who cares if you chased him and it didn't work out? That just shows you're brave enough to go for what you want and make mistakes and that's one of the most admirable things in the world!". "It is?" you asked and D.O. nodded "totally...well that and not murdering a guy like Eun when you had so many opportunities". You laughed and D.O. smiled to see you looked happier.
You both sat in silence for a while before you sighed "you know I just realised I've never asked about your love life, is it as bad as mine?". D.O. shrugged "well depends on what you mean by bad, if pretty non-existent counts then yeah it's bad". "You've never dated anyone?" you asked and D.O. paused "no there was one girl. We got together when we were 14, just kids really, and were together for 4 years...it got pretty serious but we were too young" he said "both of our lives were just taking off and we were changing as people. I wanted to keep trying but she broke it off and I guess the experience changed me. I'm of course glad when I look back on it, it was definitely the right thing to do but it made me more cautious and pessimistic. You might've realised I'm not exactly a ray of sunshine like Baekyun". You shook your head "you're plenty sunny to me, I always feel happy around you" and D.O. smiled "you do?". "I do" you nodded watching him and D.O. couldn't believe he had that effect on someone like you.
You both stayed in that moment just gazing at one another for a few seconds before you blushed looking down. "Well I think whoever she is, she's probably kicking herself now to have lost you" you said and D.O.'s heart fluttered "thanks y/n". You smiled and gently squeezed his hand "thanks for telling me. I used to think you were so intimidating and scary and I'm so glad I got to know the real you". "I'm glad too" D.O. nodded "I know how I can come across so thanks for giving me a chance I guess?". "You never need to thank me for that" you said "I wish I'd have done it so much sooner". D.O. realised you were still holding his hand and looked down. You followed his gaze and dropped his hand "sorry! The alcohol and weeks of wedding stress are kicking in. I'll leave now before I do anything else embarrassing" and you disappeared. D.O. however didn't find it embarrassing at all.
D.O. woke up the next morning feeling great! Which was hilarious as all his members were clutching their heads and moving slowly, nursing hangovers. After last night D.O. was in pretty good spirits and he still got goosebumps when he thought about everything you'd said to him. However one thing was bothering him. He'd mentioned how after his ex he'd become more cautious but he meant what he said about admiring people who went for what they wanted. It applied to him so much that he felt a bit like a hypocrite and so he knew he had to tell you he just didn't know when. Luckily you had a car ride back together so he could work that out then. D.O. was coming back with you because he had to be in the studio later today while his other members didn’t. So they were going to go film something and do some sightseeing which D.O. was upset to miss out on that for work of all things but when he realised he’d be coming back with you he warmed up to the idea.
He was waiting for you by the front of the hotel when you appeared. You came around the corner and D.O. paused at how beautiful you looked. Your hair hung loose and you had no makeup on at all. You looked so naturally radiant his heart skipped a beat as he took you all in. "Are you ready?" you called and D.O. nodded re-discovering the ability to speak. "Yeah let me just put my stuff in the boot" he said and hid his face behind your car.
The car ride was the most fun road trip D.O. had been on. With the members, there was always someone who was too loud or an elbow in his side or someone who wanted to play music D.O. hated but there was none of that with you. The car ride was so peaceful and just proved to him how well the two of you got along yet again. D.O. realised he just loved being around you and enjoyed seeing you happy. He adored that he could now make you smile and it was pretty much on his mind constantly.
You stopped off at a cafe on the way back and got breakfast. You were both pretty happy and made the waitress laugh several times at your infectious happiness. When it came to paying the waitress had clearly taken a liking to you. "It's on the house for the young couple" she said "how long have you two been together?". D.O. went to reply you weren't together when you spoke first. "6 months, we met at work" you said and the waitress grinned "I thought you had that honeymoon period glow! But to be fair 6 months is a little late for that so the two of you must just be the real deal". "We hope so" you nodded and the waitress smiled. "Well have a nice trip home, it was nice meeting you". "You too" D.O. said and he held the door open for you.
The two of you got back in the car and D.O. paused "so she thought we were..." he trailed off but of course you knew what he was saying. "Yeah, I agreed in case she charged us for our bill. I love a free meal". D.O. took a breath "is that the only reason you said we were a couple?". You paused and turned to look at him "why? Would you like there to be another reason?". D.O. nodded "I would" sending a shiver down your spine. "You would?" you asked and he nodded not showing how nervous he was. "Yes, I'd like you to want us to be a couple because I want that...I like you y/n". You smiled "you do? I had no idea! Since I met you I've been so pleasantly surprised and I felt myself falling for you but thought I might've ruined it with my preconceptions". D.O. shook his head "you didn't ruin anything" and kissed you.
Having a first kiss in car is slightly awkward because of the positioning. You both had to turn towards one another to reach but you managed. It wasn't the most comfortable position but neither of you cared. D.O. couldn't believe you were kissing him back and you couldn't believe how sweet D.O. was. Then D.O. tried to move closer to you and elbowed the dashboard sending a shooting pain down his arm. He cried out in pain and you jolted apart. "Are you okay?" you asked and he nodded sighing "yeah I'm fine..." then you both started laughing. Once you'd settled down you turned to D.O. "you sure you're okay?". He nodded "I'm better than okay" looking at you and you blushed.
D.O. had to rush off to work as soon as he got back in the city but he hesitated to get out of the car “so are you free this evening for dinner?” D.O. asked “we can go to a restaurant or I can cook you something”. You smiled “I am but let’s go to a restaurant, I don’t want you to have to cook after working all day. I want to take care of you too” and D.O. went bright red making you chuckle. “How did I ever think you were scary?” you asked and D.O. smiled “I get why you did but hopefully I’ve gotten rid of all those thoughts now?”. You nodded “completely” and shot him a warm smile that made D.O. just want to kiss you all over again. The thought must’ve been contagious because you glanced at D.O.’s lips before sighing “so you should probably go before I refuse to let you”. D.O. smiled “I’ll call you as soon as I’m done with work?”. You nodded “can’t wait” and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
D.O. practically strut into work and smiled and greeted every single person he passed. His manager remarked he was in a good mood and he smiled “it was a good wedding!” and got ready to start recording but before he did he pulled out his phone and sent Kai a text which you ironically also sent Kai a few minutes later.
Pairing: Kyungsoo x Reader f. OT9
Genre: Bosses/Employee to Lovers
Rating: M
Summary: It’s time to face your fears and make a decision.
Word Count: 4.1k
Warnings: talks about feelings and self-respect, it gets heavy for a minute but don’t worry—Soo’s there for you.
A/N: That moment when your PWP develops a plot with substance. I was expecting an intro to the smut but got something a little better. Somehow, this fits Kyungsoo’s style.
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You didn’t have the slightest idea what to cook for dinner. Usually, you just went with a meal plan, but you forgot to make one. In between your errands and making sure the dorm was fit to house all nine of them, meal planning somehow slipped between the cracks. Literally everything else had been taken care of, yet there you stood without the foggiest idea of what they should eat.
The front door beeped, signaling the use of a key card, then clicked. Kyungsoo stepped in, rolling his luggage behind him. His eyes swept the room before landing on you. A small smile formed on his lips. “_____, I’m home.”
You stepped out from behind the counter and made your way over to him. “Welcome home, Soo. Here, I’ll take your things for you.”
He shook his head. “No need. I can get it. But thank you.”
Your shoulders slumped. “If you change your mind—”
“I promise to call you.” His eyes met yours and held your gaze. “Jagi, you don’t have to push yourself so much for us.” He turned away, leaving you standing there at a loss for words.
You returned to the kitchen and flipped through the recipe book for the third time. It wouldn’t be long before the rest showed up, trickling in like a stream in a forest. It should have made you more anxious about cooking, but oddly enough, you found comfort. Life was flat-out boring without them around. Sure, they were chaotic and did no favors for your poor heart, but you wouldn’t trade them for anyone else in the world.
By the time you reached the rice and noodle section of the book, Kyungsoo came out of his room and made a beeline for the kitchen. You figured he was thirsty, but he didn’t stop in front of the fridge. Instead, he came to your side and put an arm around your shoulders.
He pressed his lips to your temple. “What are we looking at?” He asked, looking over the pages.
“Dinner ideas. I dunno what I want to cook.” You looked up at him. “Any requests? Please say yes.”
He frowned and bit his lip for a second, then his face lit up. “I do, actually.” He put his hands on your shoulders and gently guided you away from the book, around the island to one of the two barstools. “You sit and relax. I’ll cook.”
“What? No!” you protested, immediately jumping down before he could completely turn away. “It’s my job to feed you guys.”
He shrugged and guided you back up onto the chair. “Don’t care. I don’t get to cook often enough. I’ll do something quick and simple and you can supervise while keeping me company.” He stuck out his hand. “Deal?”
You eyed his hand with a pout, disgruntled yet unable to resist his puppy dog eyes. When it was clear he wasn’t about to change his mind, you placed your hand in his. “Deal.”
With that, he got to work pulling out utensils, pots and pans, and ingredients from the fridge and pantry. He chopped and diced, measured liquids, and sifted powders. Whatever he was making was from scratch. You were so captivated by his finesse that you didn’t notice neither of you was speaking to each other until he broke the silence. “If you don’t mind me asking, have you spent more time thinking about our situation?”
“Huh? What?” You sat up straight.
He bit his bottom lip and looked away for a second. “It’s my understanding that Jun talked to you about our intentions. Made it clear what we—all of us—want from you.” His chopping slowed to a stop. “You’re still up for that, right?”
“Oh!” You looked down at your hands and twirled your thumbs. “I…Yeah. I think about it all the time, actually. Still a little unsure about it.”
Kyungsoo nodded. “I understand.” He put down the knife and wiped his hands on a dishcloth. “Alright, let’s talk about it.”
You huffed with a shrug. “I don’t know where to start. I never do when I try to sort through it on my own, you know? Like…it’s so much all at once.”
He pulled out a saucepan and skillet from under the counter. “Overwhelming, huh? I can imagine suddenly having the affection and attention of nine men being more than you’re prepared to deal with.” The skillet went to the stove with care while he placed the saucepan in the sink. “You know you can tell us to chill out whenever you need a break. The last thing we want is to push you too far so soon into this. It’s new for everyone involved, but it doesn’t exist without you.”
You nodded and gnawed on your bottom lip. Silence settled between you two as he filled the pot with water. Your thoughts were all over the place. Where should you start? What should you say? The more you struggled to put your thoughts and feelings into words, the more frustrated you got. Without a word, Kyungsoo placed a water bottle between your hands.
“Thank you,” you whispered.
“Stress and dehydration don’t mix.” He went back to cooking, adding spices in with the vegetables. A heavenly aroma filled the air and your stomach growled in response.
“No shit,” you mumbled, uncapping the bottle and drinking half of it right away. When you put the bottle down, you resigned yourself to word vomiting until you couldn’t think of anything else to say. “I feel like a slut for wanting two guys, much less nine. Even more so since I technically work for them. Then there’s the whole ‘don’t shit where you eat’ thing. If things go bad because of this, I’m potentially out of a job. I don’t think it would be so bad if I didn’t also live here, so there’s that too.”
The front door opened and a jolly voice called out, “Honey, I’m home!” Baekhyun appeared in the hallway dragging his suitcase. “Soo! You’re cooking?” He crossed the kitchen with a little skip, throwing his arms around your neck and crushing your face to his chest. “And how is my favorite brat doing?”
You fought against his hold, struggling until he released you with a kiss on the top of your head. “I am not a brat.”
“Three out of nine experts agree you can get mouthy when you’re not getting your way.” He dodged your swing and stuck out his tongue. “Anyway. Gonna shower and take a nap. Wake me when dinner’s ready, though.”
Kyungsoo agreed to Baekhyun’s request, then waited until he heard a door close. “Okay, so that’s a lot to unpack.” He paused to drink from his own water bottle. “Honestly, you’ll feel bad about it for as long as you care about what others think of you. I know, it’s easier to talk about not caring than actually doing it. It’s something we could help you work on. Personally, I see it as a testament to how desirable you are. The people who’d say things like that about you likely could never find themselves in the same situation.”
“If you’re about to say something about sticks and stones--”
He smirked. “No, but I’m glad you know the saying.” He stirred the food in the skillet. “I don’t know if this will mean much to you, but none of us think that way of you. You know that, right? You do so much for us with the brightest smiles we’ve ever seen.” Noodles went into the pot of boiling water. “You’re as important to us as we are to each other.”
You shook your head. “Am not.”
“Without you, we wouldn’t look forward to coming home as much. I mean, yeah it’s nice to relax, but really, we look forward to sharing our experiences with you. We want to take you with us on trips and tours so badly, but we can’t. Not without putting you in danger. So we can’t wait to come home and share our stories and give you souvenirs…” He turned to look at you. “Home isn’t home without you. No one else could ever make this place our home the way you do.” He turned back to the stove. “So, for us, it isn’t about sex. Our main motive is making sure you’re taken care of the same way you take care of us. You do a lot of giving and make a lot of sacrifices. We want to make it clear that we appreciate you by giving you the most precious thing we have to give: our feelings.”
You balked at the words. “I don’t need thanks for doing my job!”
The front door opened again, this time followed by loud talking and laughter. Junmyeon came in with Sehun, followed by Jongdae and Minseok. They each stopped to give you hugs and forehead or cheek kisses before continuing on to their rooms. You caught the pointed look Junmyeon gave Kyungsoo before he disappeared. Kyungsoo turned off the stove and pulled down plates. You scrambled off the stool to help him get out the things needed to set the table.
“_____,” he murmured when you were close enough. “Is this really just a job to you?”
“Huh?” You looked at him. The question made little sense. You never said it was just a job, did you? Did you give the impression—
“There are things you do that other maids for other groups don’t do.” He sighed softly, “Things that even friends don’t do. You remember little details we mention one time in passing. Like the name of the body wash Sehun got from a hotel that he really liked. Or hunting down discontinued things we like. Or putting up new pictures of our family and pets for us to see when we get home.”
“Am I not supposed to do those things?” You asked, becoming increasingly unsure of your duties.
He gave you a long look, then shook his head, putting down the plates. “How can I put this?” He closed his eyes for a second. “Those actions are very intimate and are, if I’m being honest, things we’d like our girlfriend or wife to do. Things like that aren’t done for an employer unless asked for. We never ask for the incredibly thoughtful things you do.”
“Then, should I stop?”
“No. No.” He grabbed your hands and held them to his lips. “Let me ask you this. Why haven’t you gone on dates or even had casual hookups since you started working here?”
“Because I haven’t had time. That and there’s not much privacy when you’re all here.”
“And when we’re overseas? Do you go out and date when we’re not even in the country?”
How could you tell him you’re usually too exhausted from trying to keep up with them to think about your love life without sounding pathetic? “I…do not. I like to stay on top of my chores and prepare for your return. I love my job and take it seriously!”
He let go of your hands to cup your face. “Jagi, listen to me. Do you love your job, or do you love us?” The question floored you. “Because we have the impression that you’d still do all that you do for us even if you weren’t paid to do it.”
You couldn’t even tell him he was wrong. They were more than a paycheck to you. They were dear friends, pushing their way to becoming more. Something that you’d always been afraid of and avoided like the plague. Yet, somehow, you blurred the line between you over a cup of orange juice.
Someone lightly touched your back as they opened the fridge next to you. “He’s right.” Junmyeon leaned into view and smiled. “Oh, love. You should see your face. Remember that whole honest expressions talk?” He touched your nose. “This is one of those moments where it really shines.”
“Dinner’s ready, by the way,” Kyungsoo said without looking away from you.
“Good. The others will be home in a minute.” Junmyeon patted Kyungsoo’s shoulder, then disappeared.
You looked at Kyungsoo, searching his eyes for some sort of reassurance as he searched yours for confirmation. You licked your lips and whispered, “I’m scared, Soo.” His thumbs caressed your cheeks. “What if it doesn’t work out? And I don’t want to lose you guys’ respect either. Hell, I don’t want to lose respect for myself. And I love this job. I can’t imagine losing everything just because I got greedy.”
“You’re not being greedy, jagi. You have needs we want to satisfy.” He rubbed his nose against yours, then gave you a soft, lingering peck on the lips. “Don’t you deserve to be taken care of, too?”
“Well, ideally, yes, but not by my employer.” You closed your eyes, aware of how ridiculous you sounded, but still unable to let it go. “I can’t help but feel like the sex is tied to my paycheck, and it makes me feel…cheap. Kinda worthless. I want nothing more than to throw caution to the wind, but I know how easy it is to be tossed aside and left to fend for myself. It was hard to get this job and I know I’ll have a hard time finding work if I get fired for having sex with one guy, much less what amounts to a basketball team. The culture here isn’t too forgiving on women.”
“I get that.” He pressed his forehead to yours and looked into your eyes. “But, and hear me out first, would you rather keep the job and things remain professional or lose it to have us without all this guilt?”
The front door opened again, but you didn’t pay attention to who came through it. “What do you mean ‘lose it?’ If I lose this job, there won’t be another job for me. Not one with the benefits this one has. A-and if I lose it, fuck, I lose you all. There wouldn’t be any having you. And the guilt would eat me alive, regardless.” You tried to pull away, but he turned you so that your back was against the fridge and held you against it. “How-how can you even say it so calmly like that? Like losing me wouldn’t hurt you at all. I…I don’t get it.”
“God, does your brain do this with everything? Over-think and jump to conclusions, then get yourself all worked up over what’s ultimately nothing.” He wiped your cheeks with his thumbs, bringing your attention to the way unshed tears lined your eyes. “No wonder you’re blindsided by this. You spend too much time in this beautiful mind of yours, baby.” He wrapped his arms around your waist and held you against his chest. “I was just suggesting you quit. Then you can get another job with none of the issues you’re worried about, like something flexible that allows for travel.”
Your stomach dropped to your toes as your heart stuttered. “You want me to quit?”
“It’s just an idea I had.”
You looked away and blinked back a fresh wave of tears. “But then, where will I go when you hire someone to replace me?” You swallowed hard. The thought of someone new moving into your room and getting to know them the way you had tore you apart. Maybe you were wrong, and this was all a lie. By giving into the lust—that’s what it had been, right?—you’d obviously disgusted them enough to come up with this clever way of cutting you off and kicking you out. The thought settled around your heart with an icy vice-grip.
“You’re literally doing the over-thinking thing again, right here in my face.” He exhaled loudly and moved his hands to your shoulders with a squeeze. “How many ways can we possibly put it? We need you. We want you. We’ll always want you, ____. There is no ‘replacing’ you for us. If you quit, we will not be hiring anyone else.”
“Then who’s gonna do the chores and run errands? Who’ll check in on the fur babies--”
He cut you off with a kiss. “You, love. You can still do those things, if you want, except we’re gonna help you. We’ll keep the house in order together. All of us. You’ll keep your room. Everything will stay the way it is now, except you’ll be free to travel with us. No more leaving you behind. We’ll figure out your job situation because it’s clear you want to be independent. It’ll take some time, but we’ll respect that…as best we can.” He looked to the side and pulled you away from the fridge and turned you. You got a glimpse of someone’s chest before Kyungsoo let go and you were pulled into a warm embrace. “Hey, Nini.”
Jongin pressed a chaste kiss to the side of your head and followed it with a soft rumbling reply. “Hello. I missed you guys.” You waited for him to let go and were pleasantly surprised when he continued to cuddle you, breathing in your scent as he reveled in your warmth. His lips moved to your ear as he murmured, “Did you miss me like l missed you, sweetheart?”
Your cheeks caught fire as you did your best to hide a smile, bringing your arms up to hold him close. “I…Yes, I did. I always do.”
Jongin’s arms tightened around you. “I’m glad to hear that.” He pulled back with a wide grin. “I brought you some stuff back from the fashion show.”
“Like what? It can’t be clothes.” You shook your head. “You don’t know my sizes.”
He laughed and kissed you. “Not off the top of my head. It’s in the group chat history, though.”
“You’re kidding, right?” You looked at him, completely serious. Jongin walked you backward until your back hit a counter, then lifted you up onto it. “I don’t need clothes, Nini.”
He shrugged, paying no attention to the sudden flurry of movement around you. Plates, cups, and silverware clattered as they moved the food to the dining room. Jongin turned your attention back to him with his finger. “I don’t see the point of all the money and fancy things if I don’t have someone to share it with.” He leaned in and lowered his voice. “And I saw the picture of you with Junnie at the party. That dress…” He bit his lip and let it go slowly. “I admit I was jealous, but it also inspired me to have you at my side like that.”
“So you’re finally coming around to the appeal of role play?” Jongdae snickered as he pulled a bottle out of the wine fridge.
Jongin rolled his eyes as his cheeks flushed. “I’m getting there.”
Jongdae patted his shoulder and smiled at you. “Hello, beautiful.” He leaned over and kissed your cheek.
“Table’s set!” Chanyeol hollered from the dining room. Jongin stepped back and allowed you to hop down. Kyungsoo appeared at your side, taking your hand and leading the way to the table. You were surprised to see all of them taking their seats, including Yixing and Chanyeol, who you didn’t even see come in.
“Hi, _____.” Yixing batted his eyelashes at you, taking your hand and brushing a kiss to the back of it once you were within reach.
“Welcome home.” You squeezed his hand.
He pulled out the empty chair beside him and gestured for you to sit. In no time, everyone was seated and began pouring drinks and loading their plates with meats and noodles. It wasn’t long before the conversation in the kitchen slipped to the back of your mind. You got swept up in their travel stories. Jongdae’s flight somehow got mixed up and he ended up in Siberia for a weekend, something Minseok and Baekhyun found utterly delightful. Yixing’s staff pulled a prank on him, resulting in him cross-dressing as Little Red Riding Hood. Sehun and Chanyeol got to see an elephant perform tricks, then ride it. Best of all, the last performance of Junmyeon’s play had sold out.
Throughout each tale told to a backdrop of silverware scraping plates and various degrees of giggles, you couldn’t imagine not being there. It made you realize Kyungsoo had a point. Would you listen this intently to anyone else? Would you bother to go all out with little touches and gifts that might be overlooked for another group? Would you enjoy the work as much if you weren’t doing it for them?
No.
No, you wouldn’t.
Life wouldn’t be the same, wouldn’t be as wonderful, without them. Given the sly looks and smiles directed at you, it was painfully obvious they felt the same. If you had any reservations about being with them the way you all wanted to, then it was up to you to fix it. The final decision was up to you and you alone.
“_____?” An elbow nudged you.
“Hm?” You looked up with wild eyes to find everyone looking at you with a mixture of worry and curiosity.
Junmyeon cleared his throat. “I asked if anything happened to you. What did we miss?”
Various heads nodded. The last time you’d been the center of attention like this, Minseok had his fingers buried in your pussy while Jongin begged to tongue-fuck you. Your face burned at the memory. Now was so not the time to revisit that night. “I…uh…” You shrugged as you quickly chewed the food in your mouth. Once you swallowed, you continued, “Not really? I mean, I got to see this herd of huskies at the dog park when I was out picking up supplies. But that’s nothing compared to you guys’ stories.”
They were quick to disagree in various ways with Minseok flat out demanding to hear more about the husky pack he clearly belonged to. And just like that, you found yourself detailing your boring days, with them barely looking away to finish their food. Kyungsoo and Minseok had suggestions for cleaning things you had trouble with, while Baekhyun and Chanyeol declared themselves your official escorts for grocery shopping when available.
“You shouldn’t have to struggle with the bags!” Chanyeol frowned. “And it’d be much easier to make substitutions if one of us were there with you.”
“We should revise the chore chart and make a menu!” Baekhyun volunteered, receiving a shout of agreement from the group along with pats on the back.
“While we’re at it,” Minseok smiled, the light in his eyes dancing with mischievous mirth. “She needs a bigger bed.”
Junmyeon snapped. “You have the nerve to bring that up?! I’m still mad at you for that stunt.” He put down his fork as if he knew it’d become a weapon in a minute.
“If she had a bigger bed, we wouldn’t have ended up on the floor. I needed more surface area to work with.”
“You’re the oldest! You’re supposed to be leading by example.”
Minseok nodded. “You’re right.” He looked down the table at the others. “Guys, listen up. If your tongue is buried in her pussy, there are no consequences, so as long as she cu--” Junmyeon slapped a hand over his mouth and tilted his head back, whispering threats you were too far away to hear. As the group erupted into laughter, you stared down at the food on your plate with a fond smile. Even with Junmyeon on the verge of strangling Minseok, you were still comfortable. Content even.
‘Home isn’t home without you.’
You looked at Kyungsoo, who was watching the show with a grin. Those sharp eyes of his caught things you’d miss even with a magnifying glass.
‘Or do you love us?’
In your short time on earth, you’d had plenty of love with an equal amount of loss. With time, you became overly cautious and skeptical, hell-bent on safeguarding your heart even if it meant becoming best friends with loneliness. It wasn’t until you took this job that you slowly stopped caring about being alone or feeling lonely. Even when they weren’t there, they left behind so much life and love for one another that you never noticed the things you’d given up. Watching them laugh while they shared a home cooked meal reminded you of something you’d forgotten.
You weren’t the only one who’d be risking it all. They could just as easily lose the same precious thing you wanted to protect so desperately: home. If they had the courage to try, if they thought so highly of you, shouldn’t you reward their adoration and loyalty with your own?
You inhaled and let it go slowly, carefully putting your fork down and pushing away from the table. An abrupt hush fell over the group as their attention turned to you. When you were sure you had their undivided attention, you looked Kyungsoo in the eyes.
