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Pat Brisson convincing Ottawa to make Giroux an offer he finally couldn’t refuse because he couldn’t handle being the go-between for yet another set of “contract discussions” between Danny B and Claude that were actually just explicit sexts.

“I don’t care if it would be tampering if you reached out directly, Danny! This is not in my job descri—no, I am not being homophobic. You think I would represent Zegras, Crosby, and the Hugheses if I gave a shit about the gay thing? I’m just saying I don’t get paid enough to get cucked every day while Larkin and Yzerman are still being a pain in my ass!”

#and then they both reach out at the same time when the trade deadline rolls around and he does a BIG SIGH #doing Brioux bits through the pain now #maybe this is what acceptance looks like?#sorry Pat Brisson you are part of their psychosexual old man yaoi torment nexus too now #dadgate 2026 #brioux

Actually, I’ve decided it’s really funny to think about Giroux being so momentarily dickmatized by the Carlsson offer sheet that he was seriously thinking about running back to Danny B until someone sat him down like “Claude…your wife? Your kids???”

#and then he still wasn’t sure until Staios said fine $5M???#and honestly dad you’re so real for that. I though it was really hot too #still coping don’t mind me #what stage of grief is empathetic thirsting over Danny Briere??#dadgate 2026 #brioux

And this is where I would have taken a romantic engagement announcement style “G said yes!” photo with my orange Flyers nails to celebrate an exciting update about my Dad coming home to Philly for the bit…IF I HAD ONE.

Bonus photo of me looking forlornly out at the sea while wearing my Trevor Zegras shirt with the holes in it and my Phillies Pride hat, wondering if it would hurt less to just pretend that my Dad was shipwrecked.

#I would have waited until sunset and edited it to be soooo romantic you guys #but now you get sad no filter overcast photos of waves lapping against the rocks. because that’s how today finds me #thank you and sorry to my partner who I had to photo direct into this stupid sad picture #I’m allowing myself one full lap of moping before trying earnestly to move on and enjoy my vacation #dadgate 2026

New level of seethe unlocked: And YOU KNOW WHAT? We also have the superior Senators mascot! Get FUCKED, Spartacat. Rascal would absolutely body you. He would snatch that terrible wig off your disproportionally large head and drown you in his birthplace, the Susquehanna River!!

#rationally I know the humans on the team have endured enough and my beef is not with them #but the dad anger has to go somewhere so this thing is now my number one opp #Gritty would legitimately destroy Spartacat #but so would half our MiLB mascots #dadgate 2026

A despair so great that the irls who didn’t know who Claude Giroux was until semi-recently are concerned for me.

#I was going to buy a new jersey. I had started looking at how to restructure my finances to make a half season subscription work…#dadgate 2026

There’s been death in the flyersblr family, and I don’t know how we’ll ever get over it?

#my entire dash is just various stages of grieving I can’t do this #actually crying while making stupid memes to cope #what the fuck #dadgate 2026

I'm never listening to an insider again. Don't show me a tweet or anything. These people are just ragebaiting and making us all depressed. I'll never forgive David Pagnotta. He and Cody Beach can go to a deserted island in the middle of the ocean for all I care.

#I'm lying I like the gossip but this is depressing #let's all remember the joy we felt #highs and lows of Philadelphia sports #dadgate 2026

I even went through my camera roll and found a pic of him I took to make a dramatic instagram story post. 😭

#dadgate 2026

#dadgate 2026

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#dadgate 2026