two minutes for slashing @martypantone - Tumblr Blog

Blog thesis statement of all time

#making this my pinned post until I get around to doing a real one lmao #my muse. my tormenter. my Some Guy #trevor zegras

Honestly, I did not care about Seth Jarvis’ friend group at first. In fact through the first few rounds I thought it was pretty damning that Carolina’s only interesting narrative was “look, Seth Jarvis has friends!” But the more his weird little fan club/polycule commits to the bit—the more they consciously and gleefully engage in a WAG-style performance of identity sublimation in the name of their Some Guy—the more I have to admit that the whole thing kind of rules. The cuddly bed selfies, the “Wives and Guy Friends” jackets, all of them puppypiling into each other with his name on their backs when he scored that ot gwg…I fear they have bewitched me.

#also so nice to have a fun uncomplicated gay reason to want someone to win #instead of all the not fun reasons vgk has given me to literally not even watch the games #anyway go canes and I hope those good ol canadian boys absolutely wreck jarvis when they win #seth jarvis

Every new thing I learn about the NHL Combine just further convinces me that I could sneak in and make the prospects do clowning exercises without anyone noticing. Fuck your golf ball stacking and unhinged questions about whether you would kill someone for a bottle of water. These teenagers are getting dolphin trained.

#the ruck twins would be amazing clowns I just KNOW it #Stenberg would not I’m sorry to say. like I would tell him to interact with a chair without touching it and he would look so scared #Danny B please hire me to introduce new prospecting metas. I really think I’m onto something here #nhl combine #offseason posting

chirpingfromthebox

vortexavenue

Liminal Space

It takes two nights alone for Denver to realize that he hates it. It takes another night after that for him to get frustrated with himself for hating it so much.

prologue on ao3

vortexavenue

part 1 on ao3

vortexavenue

part 2 on ao3

#loved loved loved this fic so much #like thee Denver Barkey pov of all time and I will be rereading often #fic rec #martybarks #tzjd #hrpf

deadbydevotion

whenever i tag trevor tumblr wants to autocomplete it to "tz46 x reader" and every time all i can see in my mind is like

────୨ৎ────

˖.✦ ݁˖ ~ TZ46 ✗ READER HEADCANONS ~ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

────୨ৎ────

he leaves you for jamie drysdale

Okay, which one of you is responsible for this?

#tiny dancer for barks lmfao #but also idk man should we be publishing listicles about the ROOFTOP PLAYLIST???#I kind of want to bap them on the nose with a newspaper for this #philadelphia flyers

Wow okay so I have to be annoyed at Vegas even in the dog NHL? The dog Golden Knights are here to ruin my night too???

#joking but also I’m embarrassed by how much I wanted the Metro to win at the end there lol #I’m still so proud of you Owen Nip-It #most valuable pup TO ME #stanley pup lb

Celewienie yapping and shaking with rage in the sin bin is just incredible writing. Thank you to whoever cast this dog

#let’s be a complete brat with mama #stanley pup lb

Evan Boucharf getting a penalty for peeing on the ice and then not wanting to get out of the box after his two minutes is unfortunately a pretty on-brand extension of his year…

#at least there are no dirty hits on the dogs /:#stanley pup lb

martypantone

Okay I’m sorry but I have too many Stanley Pup worldbuilding questions. Are the dogs a true one-to-one with their human counterparts in terms of lore? Did Artemi Pawnerin end up on the dog Kings after dictating to the dog Rangers where he wanted to be traded?? Is Cutter Go-Fetch-ier the reason the dog Flyers have Trevor Zegrowls and Jamie Drystail???

hokeypuck

i like to think it's like the jl8 webcomic where the relationships of the pups is inspired by our league but made appropriate for how young the pups are so radko poochas bit auston mattchews and he had to go to the vet but ultimately was fine. every injury that was cast worthy instead has the respective national hockey pup wearing a cone. instead of mumps they had an outbreak of fleas.

#these are amazing additions thank you #laughed at radko poochas but absolutely howled at fleas for mumps #I guess it does have to be modified to be dog appropriate bc Brad Marchound licking his opponents would be completely normal

Okay I’m sorry but I have too many Stanley Pup worldbuilding questions. Are the dogs a true one-to-one with their human counterparts in terms of lore? Did Artemi Pawnerin end up on the dog Kings after dictating to the dog Rangers where he wanted to be traded?? Is Cutter Go-Fetch-ier the reason the dog Flyers have Trevor Zegrowls and Jamie Drystail???

#is Dylan Barkin pissing off a lot of dog fans in Detroit right now???#stanley pup lb #sorry I’m losing it

The implications of dog Heated Rivalry also existing in the Stanley Pup universe except the dog NHL is inclusive enough to invite the gay hockey dogs to the dog hockey game and celebrate them on the dog Jumbotron…

#stanley pup lb #heated rivalry #this is frying me

martypantone

OWEN NIP-IT HATTY WATCH??

martypantone

STANLEY PUP GWG HAT TRICK!

#stanley pup lb #I am unfortunately invested now lmao #that’s my orange king

OWEN NIP-IT HATTY WATCH??

#Stanley pup lb

Babe, wake up. New greatest sports multi-view experience just dropped.

#stanley pup #nba finals #inside you there are two wolves

saggeses

I’m gonna be so fr rn, yall gotta stop acting like women’s sports only contributions/offerings are 1) that most of the athletes are queer 2) some sort of “morally pure” version of the sport. you don’t realize that you’re doing it but you’re de-valuing them to a point of queerness + morality meter. which the latter is just insane when there are POS’ amongst women’s sports

saggeses

“Don’t watch the NHL, watch the PWHL! They’re actually gay!” why is that the only selling point to you

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

two minutes for slashing