two minutes for slashing

Jas, she/they, 30s | back in the tumblr trenches to yap about gay hockey and my beautiful country Philadelphia

[martypantone]

Blog thesis statement of all time

[martypantone]

Wait just realized I had been semi-seriously talking about getting a tattoo just moments before the LeBron to Philly news broke yesterday. So now I HAVE to do it.

[tmobilepark]

egdb. eternal gay danny brière

[girljeremystrong]

he is so awesome

[mybeautifuldarktwistedshane]

post-clinch vs carolina, tk saying "love you" to tippy

(think he says love you bro/bud/ something idk)

[beejhawkisms]

​all my flyers fan mutuals who arent from philly reblogging that post about feeling like a weaboo i hope you know youre all true philadelphians in my heart. and i am the authority on this subject because i live here. obviously

[mybeautifuldarktwistedshane]

Matvei hits the michigan to complete his hattrick in russia's match of the year

[martypantone]

Still on a cocky Philly sports high on this fine LeBron James Boxing Day, I laid out one potential series of Flyers moves that requires significant fleecing but gets us competitive in only 2 years to a straight male friend, and he immediately replied, “If Danny Briere pulled that off, I would suck his dick in the middle of Broad Street.” I earnestly believe this is the median Philly sportsguy mindset right now.

[martypantone]

If any Flyers fans less familiar with the Sixers want a quick shot of perspective for how crazy LeBron choosing us really was, Mike from the Ricky had a great intro on their emergency pod yesterday that I also hope will get you in on Philly basketball just from a hilarious Looney Tunes-ass perennial girlfailure chip on our shoulder no one likes us we don’t care commiseration angle.

The Philadelphia 76ers Sign LeBron James

Never thought we'd write that title. The Rights To Ricky Sanchez is presented by Draft KingsGet 20% off Verb Energy bars with code RTRS and

Transcript:

LeBron signs with the Sixers…The same team that hasn't been to the Conference Finals in 25 years. That traded everything for Andrew Bynum, who never played a game for them. That lost 26 games in a row. That drafted three centers in the top 10 in three straight years, whose best player missed the first 164 games of his career. Then traded up to number one for Markelle Fultz, who forgot how to shoot. That took Ben Simmons number one, who decided to never shoot. That drafted Mikal Bridges, whose mom worked for the team, then 10 minutes later traded him for Zhaire Smith, who they then nearly killed with a sesame allergy.

The team that the league force-fed the rotting corpse of Jerry Colangelo on, who then, go figure, hired his son—a son who got ran out of public life for having burner accounts exposed by mostly online Sixers fans, where he defended the size of his…shirt collars. The team who had a fake metaverse sponsor for a metaverse that barely existed because they had been a cement mixing company a year earlier. The team who was held hostage by Ben Simmons holding out where he half assed practice with his phone in his pocket. Then traded him for James Harden who also then held them hostage with a holdout, telling children in China that GM Daryl Morey was a liar and he'll never play for him again.

The team who earlier this year traded recent rookie of the year frontrunner Jared McCain, the GM saying he was confident he sold high on him, and then two months later he's third on the team in scoring in the Western Conference Finals. And if you're new to the podcast and if you're just a LeBron James fan checking it out, know that I am merely scratching the surface of insane things that have happened to this team.

The Sixers, a team named after a number—they are the team that LeBron James, the best player or second best player of all time, has chosen to join and probably end his career with because he thinks it gives him the best chance to win a championship.

[martypantone]

Who’s the Philly sports fan still having the time of their life? Oh that would be me☝️

[teamaspar]

rpf is fine and ethical its being personally attracted to an athlete thats reprehensible

[teamaspar]

[martypantone]

And 2.5 years later they would each be part of a paradigm-shifting sports team move in the actual center of the universe, Philadelphia 🥲

[martypantone]

Had to dig this up again. One of these men was moved this offseason to get Jaylen Brown and LeBron James onto the Philadelphia 76ers. The other is about to be paid $14M more per year than LeBron James.

[washedupkam]

https://x.com/nhlfollowtrack/status/2080717871953707338?s=46

he’s fast🤣

CRYING😭😭you go trevor

[martypantone]

Okay but have Danny B and Mike Gansey ever met? I just wanna see something…

[martypantone]

I need LeBron James, Bryce Harper, Jalen Hurts, and Trevor Zegras to recreate this EXPEDITIOUSLY

[martypantone]

LEBRON!!!!!???? LEBRON TO THE SIXERS!!!!!!!!

[martypantone]

A truly hysterical time for my friend to be visiting Philly. Glad someone got to witness this live.

[martypantone]

[martypantone]

Man, Danny Briere really does move in silence