daichi x sugawara
Suga was losing his smile recently.
The stress of simply existing was getting to him, and it was like the walls were closing in.
Suga had made some bad decisions.
His wrists weren't bleeding. The stray cat he fed was just being grumpy. His smile wasn't getting faker and faker. He just hadn't slept well. His eyes weren't losing their sparkle. He was just concentrating on volleyball. He hadn't been himself lately. He was just focused on his studies.
Lies.
Sugawara Koushi was a fucking liar.
Every day, he felt like he was suffocating. He was drowning in the deep, black ocean, with no one to find him. His lungs were filling with water, he was screaming for help, but then he decided he didn't need to. Because he deserved this. He deserved to die alone, with nobody by his side. He deserved everything the world threw at him.
Or, at least that's what he thought.
Well, no matter. Nobody else's opinion was ever heard anyway, because Suga had been distancing himself from everybody in his life.
"Koushi, are you okay?" Daichi asked, snapping Suga out of his thoughts.
"Huh? Yeah, yeah, totally fine." Suga said.
"No, you're not. And you're going to tell me what's bothering you." Daichi said sternly, and Suga knew it was over because he used his i-am-captain-and-dad-to-a-bunch-of-kids-my-age-and-i-have-to-keep-them-in-check voice, not his suga-is-my-friend-and-i-care-deeply-about-him-and-want-him-to-be-okay voice.
So Suga told him everything.
Including his twelve step plan to putting himself out of his misery.
"Oh my god, Koushi…I– why didn't you say something? Please don't end it. Ever. Please. Everybody would be crushed." Daichi's eyes welled up with tears, and his voice cracked.
"Well, there is one thing I wanted to say to you before it's all over, but I guess I won't ever have to tell you now."
"You can still tell me, if you want."
"I'm gay, Daichi."
"Oh," Daichi blinked in surprise. "Suga, you know almost everyone on our volleyball team is gay, right? There's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"Not to my parents." Suga's bottom lip quivered and he looked away, ashamed.
"Suga," Daichi said, sweetly, "we all care about you, no matter what, okay? You are amazing. You are kind. You are Sugawara Koushi, and that is the biggest complement anybody could give you. Who cares what they think? It's your life."
And then the dam broke.
Suga held onto Daichi and sobbed, letting all his frustration, anger, and pain out into the brunette's chest. Daichi immediately wrapped his arms around him, and rubbed circles gently on his back as he whispered sweet nothings.
After Suga had cried until there were no tears left, he pulled away sniffling.
"Sorry." he muttered, embarrassed that he had probably got his tears and snot on Daichi's hoodie.
"Don't apologise. It's normal. You're human, Koushi," Daichi reassured him. Then, he leaned down slightly and kissed Suga on the forehead. "You can tell me anything. Anything at all, okay? I will never judge you."
"Well, there is one more thing I've been wanting to tell you." Suga blushed, biting his lip.
"What?"
"I'm in love with you, Daichi." Suga whispered.
Daichi's mouth fell open, as he confusedly stared at Suga. "Oh god, I knew I shouldn't have said that, I'm so sorry, uh, can we forget about—" Suga started rambling, but was interrupted by Daichi, kissing him softly. Delicately. As if he pressed his lips just a bit harder, Suga would break, would disappear, and it would all be over.
After a few seconds, Daichi pulled away.
Suga was crying again.
Tears dripped down his pink cheeks and rolled down to his chin as he bit his lip and cried softly.
"Shit, why are you crying? Should I have not done that?" Daichi gasped. "Am I a bad kisser?"
Suga slapped his arm gently. "No, these are happy tears. I've wanted that for so long now." Daichi sighed in relief.
"And, for the record, you are a pretty great kisser." Suga teased.
"Shut up!" Daichi blushed, his tan skin now tinted with bright red.
"I love you."
"...I love you too."
