A couple of friends and I were talking about coffee the other day – I was over at their place, and they put on the pot, but they remembered that I don't like coffee, so I had tea.
It reminded me of the last time I drank coffee, and I told them about it.
I used to drink coffee. Not much – only one cup of decaf in the morning, and only in the cooler months of the year, it being too bloody muggy in the summer to be drinking something hot.
Now, about fifteen years ago, I stopped for the summer, as usual, but I just never started up again when autumn came. The only time I would drink the stuff is if I was over at someone's house and they offered me a cup – and then only if I was in the mood.
And eventually I lost my taste for coffee completely – although I continued (and still continue) to enjoy it in desserts like tiramisù.
A few years ago, I started hearing about something called Dalgona coffee. Curious, I googled it, and was intrigued – it didn't sound too bad. Aye, it uses a tablespoon of instant coffee per serving, but it's in a full glass of milk with ice and sugar, so I decided to make one for myself, just to try it.
I mixed the instant coffee and sugar with a bit of water to make a frothy cream, and then spooned it over a glass of milk with ice.
I took a tentative sip – not pleasant. So I stirred the coffee froth into the milk. Better, but I still didn't really like it. I didn't want to waste the milk, though, so I finished it.
About fifteen minutes later, I was in my kitchen when I exploded. I COULD NOT GET TO THE LOO FAST ENOUGH, even though it was only a half dozen steps away.
Once I'd been purged, I had to take a shower and wash my clothes – including my jeans and t-shirt. Even my socks had gotten soiled.
And that's why I don't drink coffee. Ever.