#dating abuse

[lightreacher]

HELPING ONE PERSON AT A TIME

We can all reach out and help each other through volunteering. Giving a little bit of your time to a cause that means a lot to you strengthens you as a person and helps you help others. There are a lot of organizations that need help, but one that means a lot to me is The One Life Project created by Alexander Kovarovic. This program fights for teens, college students, and young adults who are…

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[glitteringroseangel]

On Monday, I'm going to have to call the domestic violence center and I'm so scared. I'm really trying to unearth myself from all the rubble of this toxic, gaslighting, abusive relationship. I really was the ideal victim for a narcissist. Anyone who cannot be proud of you for seeking mental help for self-betterment is flying a huge red flag.

I didn't deserve to suffer at your hands just because you couldn't come to terms with who you are and your paper-thin ego. Maybe no one will believe me. That's okay, they don't have to know, but I know. And I also know that one by one, you'll poison every remaining relationship.

I didn't deserve to suffer at your hands just because you couldn't come to terms with who you are and your paper-thin ego. Maybe no one will believe me. That's okay, they don't have to know, but I know. And I also know that one by one, you'll poison every remaining relationship.

The breadcrumbing and gaslighting feel like it has rotted my already compostable brain. Abusers take advantage of fragility and give you enough positive engagement for you to bond with them. To make you feel fulfilled and secure.

They are aware of what they're doing and wait until you become completely starved, desperate, and lost in wondering about the reality of the relationship. The tiny crumbs they throw you will feel like the entire world to you.

They toss you around while giving you nothing, and when you reach your end, when you're breaking down from negligence and misery, they'll give you another crumb of attention to keep you hooked, to keep you living on the empty hope of care and attention.

I do not currently have the emotional energy to allow someone to disturb my peace anymore. I know there will be rumors and vitriol spouted, but I am holding fast to my truth.

I know there will be smear campaigns and there probably already was one, to begin with, but nothing he could say about me could ever hurt as much as what he's done to me.

You were a fool to take advantage of my good nature and nearly unconditional love. You will poison all your other relationships with your apathy and indifference.

But still, the hardest thing to accept about being abused is that your abuser doesn't love you. Love and respect cannot exist without one another. I was a placeholder, simply put. When I was pouring out my soul, you were sticking pins in what I'd say to use it against me later.

[globalheroesnews]

News: Love and Relationship Safety | Domestic Violence

Youth and safe love to end dating abuse and domestic violence through community education, supportive services, legal advocacy.

[pillarsxofxdreams]

((Often I use my past experience with my ex-boyfriend when it comes to Sayaka’s background with her past relationship with Shido or her reactions to him...I don’t want anyone to feel subjected that they have to change themselves for their significant other or anyone that makes them hate who they are as a person and forcing themselves just so just their partner can be happy. It hurts you in the long run and a relationship isn’t suppose to be like that. Communication, respect, love...))

((I am now in a three year relationship with a man who not only allows me to be who I am, but who also loves and cares for me and takes time to talk to me, he has been patient with me and I love him so much.

Below are the major things my ex did and that were big impacts on me. There’s a lot and if you rather not read, please don’t. Just take away this: Don’t ever feel like you have to change yourself for someone, don’t force yourself to fake another you so your partner is happy. Don’t avoid it, don’t ignore it. A relationship isn’t suppose to be one sided. Both of you deserve to be happy, healthy and loving together. Communication, respect, caring and cooperation in making your relationship last is something that can be nurtured into a beautiful future for you both. Thank you. ))

This ex was my first boyfriend and we were together for five years, starting towards the end of my year as a senior in high school and ended only about a year after I finished university and began to work. We were together for a long while and what kills me is that it took me up to that point to break things off with him...

He was about three years older than me and often times, he’d sometimes use that he was older to make all the decisions between us. Meaning if I wanted to do something with him or if I wanted his opinion on something, he could easily override my choice or ignore me to say he didn’t like what I did. This was because he knew best.

My ex always made sure to use his tone and words that made me doubt myself a lot. He would raise his voice if we tried to argue or he wouldn’t talk to me if began to talk about something he didn’t want to. Most topics being our future together and if we had an argument, me trying to calm him down or getting us to talk about it. He wouldn’t talk to me for a few hours to maybe a day until I was the one apologizing. He often used, “I mean it’s better I do this instead of later when we’re married or something right?” to justify his cheating or “We’re a different sort of couple.” when he overheard a friend questioning me about how our dates went.

Going off of that, he never wanted me to be anything else but his ‘happy cute’ girlfriend. He never liked it when I came to him for comfort or would say that I ruined the mood if I spoke about something and told me to just be ‘happy’ for him because the whole point of our date/his visit was so he could feel less stressed and happy. So I was responsible for just playing a Stepford girlfriend honestly...

Lots and lots of guilt tripping. He often times would make me so guilty I cried and said I’d cancel plans with my family and that I wasn’t having fun at any places I went out with friends or family since he’d say I didn’t miss him enough and how dare I have fun and oh, boo hoo he’s not number one anymore. I basically had to drop a lot of plans or cancel just because my ex demanded I drop everything and should spend time with him instead of my friends or family.

There was an incident a friend of mine in university STILL REMEMBERS to this day from when we were freshmen. For context, I’m four foot ten and a half and back then I weighed ninety-five pounds. My friend gave a me a chocolate bar and he grabbed it, read the nutritional facts and said to me, “You’re gonna get fat.” before throwing it on the table. In front of my friend. In public. If I ate anything he deemed, ‘unhealthy,’ I was officially fat and I needed to work out asap and lose that fat I gained just by looking at that ‘fatty food.’ I became nervous in eating and struggled trying to get myself to eat because I needed to still take care of myself.

I began to start cosplaying a lot when I dated this particular ex of mine and he pushed me to try rather ‘sexy cosplays.’ I wasn’t comfortable and I was also subjected to him saying that I could use some ‘extra help’ on my body. He never outright called me pretty or beautiful, just said that I needed to do more on a certain point in my body because I could look a lot better. He once pinched my side and said ‘ew’ before laughing at my expression. I was hurt.

Cheating. Cheated on me with an ex-best friend of mine, a younger sister of his friend, his own ex that cheated on him before me, a girl from our church...Those were at least the ones I knew. Ex even tried to get me jealous and had the biggest narcissistic attitude that all my friends wanted him. Any female friend who spoke or looked at him longer than five seconds instantly made him believe they wanted to sleep with him. I stayed faithful and blindly ignorant that my faithfulness to him meant crap to him.

What took me to breaking up with him was him asking me for money that I refused to give him, it was for a gaming card that he could get at anytime, and him stating that I was completely unaware of the financial value of such a purchase. I just started working and at that point...I was fed up. Our relationship was already draining me, I couldn’t feel happy around him and I started reflecting on it. With me working I spent enough time away from him to realize how cracked our relationship was and how it hurt me. I broke it off with him and kicker, he asked to have sex with me one more time for ‘old times sake.’ I kicked that down quick and just went on with my life.

Turns out not even a month after our break up, found out he actually had been engaged and married a girl from another country. He basically waited for me to do the break up so he wouldn’t do it. He always had secrets and never liked being painted as the bad guy, he always made sure the girls ended it so he got off scott free...

My current boyfriend has been nothing, but patient with me. He was concerned when we started dating when he noticed I didn’t eat much or I hesitated a few times to say something only to stay quiet. He urges me to take care of myself, tells me I’m beautiful on days I feel like crap, listens to me, keeps me calm when I feel like my anxiety is prickling up, isn’t afraid to face all my emotions or thoughts and we talk about everything with each other. It’s been three years that we’ve been together and I cannot express how much I love him.

[humanismtoday]

Republican Arizona State lawmaker doesn’t want schools to instruct students dealing with dating abuse, but he wants students to abide by his patriotism police policies even if he has to violate the Constitution.

He literally going to make students love the free market by using the Govt.

https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2019/11/23/arizona-lawmaker-schools-need-less-abuse-prevention-more-mindless-patriotism/

[humanismtoday]

Republican Arizona State lawmaker doesn’t want schools to instruct students dealing with dating abuse, but he wants students to abide by his patriotism police policies even if he has to violate the Constitution.

He literally going to make students love the free market by using the Govt.

https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2019/11/23/arizona-lawmaker-schools-need-less-abuse-prevention-more-mindless-patriotism/