First of all, I separate Dirk from Dave's Bro. Dirk is an entirely different can of worms that would take me a million for years to explain. If I tried to do both in one post it would turn into a masters level thesis essay that no one wants to read 😭 Second, I have read through Homestuck twice, I've read the epilouges, and I'm currently reading hs2. This is all just my interpretation of it. THIRD OF ALL ⚠️ i kept getting 500 errors, so some of the screenshots are from some kids' blogs analyzing the Dave and dirk scene. But they ARE all canon.
ANYWAY!!!!
I've seen a few people getting upset at fans characterizing Dave's Bro as abusive, and I get it to some extent. I think the physical abuse is up for interpretation - I also agree that the strife they all have with their guardians is comedic, if that's what you're going off of. I don't think there is an intent for them to *actually* injure each other. But with Dave, this ISNT all there is to go off of. If I remember correctly, Dave is the only one who seems actually hurt after the strife. Based on the note, it seems to be a common occurrence. It could be made out to be brotherly roughhousing- except that it *isn't*. Dave says that he convinced himself that all it was for the first 13 years of his life because it was what was normalized for him, but it wasn't normal. Being trained sense birth to be on edge and expect to be attacked out of nowhere, to get into physical alterations with your guardian to 'prepare you' IS NOT NORMAL! It would have been impossible for Dave to feel safe and grow up normally in an environment like that. He talks about how he never felt at peace because he was always scared. He talks about being scared of metal sounds from the swords. He grew up in fear. He did not feel love - Bro did NOT love him.
However, I think that the neglect is undeniable. Neglect is a form of abuse. Either you think it's because bro had malicious intent, or because he just didn't want/know how to take care of a kid, the neglect still happened. I think the most obvious example of this in the comic is when Dave is talking to Dirk, and he mentioned that he didn't even know what a fridge was for - meaning he didn't have extra food at home. He doesn't even get to keep food and water in his house - he hides it in his closet. THAT is more than just negelct. He alludes to other things going on that he doesn't want to drag anyone else into. If you consider Paradox Space canon, he mentions being locked in a dark room alone. Dave was a baby when Dirk found him, so sense birth, he was fending for himself. He had to figure out mundane, domestic tasks like laundry and cooking by himself. If he didn't teach himself how to find food, he would die, it's as simple as that. So not only did he live in fear, but he also had to worry about his survival...Basically sense birth. Or ectobiological creation, I guess.
The relationship Dave has with his Bro is complicated. When grieving their guardians, John is sad, and Rose is angry, but Dave just feels conflicted. I think it's clear that he is still figuring things out at this point, and I think the separation from his Bro allows for him to think about everything that has happened to him. It is confirmed that his upbringing is set apart from the others - the other guardians genuinly cared for and loved their child. Bro did not love Dave. The lack of love can be just as hurtful as the other abuses he was dealing with. He is given the opportunity to explore what has happened to him, and how unfair it was.
Anyway, i guess my point is, that it is insane to claim that people characterizing Dave's Bro as abusive is unfounded. People are the product of their upbringing, and that argument is explored in Homestuck. Dave's character was shaped partly because of his upbringing- it sets him apart from the others and allows for personal development.
