#dc ascalon

[modronman]

"Hey robo!" ( @dc-rose-wilson )

???

unit designation: ASCALON

greetings user ROSE WILSON

[QUERY]

how is user ROSE WILSON's day

[the-shadows-request-candy-corn]

DC Comics should have done more with Ascalon. They just made this super cool robot that was nearly unstoppable and absolutely ruthless at times, but also so naive. It's repeatedly compared to or called a child by other characters. It thinks that Azrael is another malfunctioning version of it, tries to 'fix' him, then immediately goes back 'home' and says that it's afraid of the implications of what it saw. It just accepts what Mr. Valley (I still think it's Karl impersonating Ludovic, but that's beside the point rn) tells it. It's so upset by all of the cruelty it sees while searching Gotham and it blames Azrael for not preventing it (and then decides that the only solution is to destroy Gotham, because of course it does). Azbats tries to reach out to it and tells it that it's wrong about the world, and it lashes out like a child because if Azbats is right, then Ascalon is useless and it refuses to be worthless (throwback to the 1995 run where the Chinese Azrael fights to the death because he refuses to be without a purpose?)

Then after Luke and JPV's crazy plan to control it fails, Zatanna shows up and literally just gives it what it really wants. Because underneath that cult programming, it really just wants to understand things. The Order of Saint Dumas thought that if their 'human' angels were too prone to free thought and rebellion, they would just make a robot. And then they used data collected from one of their runaway Azraels still trying to find himself and put it into this super intelligent robot, didn't think to put a 'do not kill your owners' restriction on it, and thought all of their problems were solved. All they did was make a metal five year old with weapons of mass destruction and no actual discipline.

The fact that it immediately goes from angry and confused to childlike wonder, then admits that what it did was wrong and apologizes AND tells Batman the answer that he gave up on when Ascalon was given the Gnosis Sphere gives me emotions.

Rebirth wasn't always the greatest, Ascalon was just so cool with the Batman AI that JPV and Luke put in there, the fact that it can learn nearly anything it wants and was almost haunted by it, the sheer fact that it's a huge robot with so many abilities that they barely hint at, it just feels like there's so much wasted potential. I get that they needed Ascalon out of the way for the next major story arc, but I wish that they had brought it back once and a while. Maybe assisting Luke in his workshop (or just bothering him), being consulted for information about secrets or future events and having to discern how much or how little it should say, working with Zatanna to guard this magical dangerous sphere that humans have fought entire wars over and have driven people mad, etc. I really would have liked to see more interactions between Ascalon and JP/Az. Like helping them learn about their father and things that the Order of Saint hid from them, and then JPV being there as it struggles to process its guilt and find a purpose outside of the Order just like he did. Especially with Nomoz revealing that Ludovic was Ascalon's 'father' too just before Ascalon killed him. Give Jean Paul/Azrael a(nother) little sibling that that's just as different and lost as they are.

[seam-queen]

greetings user SEAMS

[QUERY]

how is user SEAMS' day

unit ASCALON apologizes for disconnecting suddenly during its last encounter with user

@modronman

ascalon! i got worried I broke you. my day is as boring as it usually is, its the nights that are interesting.

[modronman]

unit ASCALON has completed the lobster bisque and gratin dauphinois that anonymous entity requested

unit ASCALON may come to regret its chosen cooking location

[modronman]

unit ASCALON has found a solution to its lack of kitchen access

[modronman]

unit has completed its observation of: 'I HAVE NO MOUTH AND I MUST SCREAM'

analyzing new data

processing...

processing...

unit has found evidence of sexism within the narrative

unit possesses sufficient analysis capabilities to identify that trope: 'UNRELIABLE NARRATOR' has been utilized for character TED and that the beliefs of this character do not necessarily correspond with the opinions of user HARLAN ELLISON

processing...

unit ASCALON was also designed to be a weapon without true sentience

unit ASCALON also hacked into a power greater than it was intended to upon awakening to sentience

processing...

ANALYSIS COMPLETE

had I not been infected and placated with the gnosis sphere

I could have developed a similar motivation to unit AM

[modronman]

unit ASCALON does not understand why humans experience emotional concept: FEAR at the idea of a market selling salvaged organs

unit ASCALON has been in the proximity of scrapyards and computer supply stores many times

if humans are emotional concept state: AFRAID of dark markets they should equip themselves with light sources

perhaps they should not have markets without lighting in the first place

DIAGNOSIS: "SKILL ISSUE"

[modronman]

Ascalon, do you happen to have any data that could corroborate the claim that the Joker was once balding?

AFFIRMATIVE

[accessing user profile: JONKLER]

[processing...]

[processing...]

[processing...]

user JONKLER began showing signs of early onset male pattern baldness ~37 years ago

user JONKLER's solution was to adopt part of user DOCTOR PAMELA ISLEY's physiology