#ddckin

[fictionkinfessions]

[CW for mentions of unconsented to + unethical medical procedures]

For LGBT canons; Honestly? I had... literally no idea about gender and sexuality. Don't think I was even aware that was like... a thing. At all. Hell, I didn't even go through puberty properly thanks to the bullshit experimentation Hydra pulled. Thanks for that /s

I was always referred to with "it/its" by Hydra, and for a brief time when SHIELD had captured me, they tended to use "they/them" for me because they were... baffled. To say the least. It was a weird situation no matter how you sliced it.

I feel like if I had been able to develop normally (ish), I would have probably ended up gender neutral or something. Maybe. Probably wouldn't have given a shit, I had more important things to do.

As for sexuality, the thought of romance never even crossed my mind during all that, so... honestly that'd be anyone's guess lol

In some ways, I would have liked to experience knowing that sorta stuff about myself back in that life.

On the other hand, I'm glad I get to be unabashedly weird with my gender and orientations in this life.

- DDC [noncanon Hydra asset, MCU]

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[fictionkinfessions]

Forgot to send in this for March heckin oops lmao

But Canon Death Counts are uh. Well that sure is a number! I got nothing concrete buuuuuuttt

As a Mobile Infantry trooper, it was just. So many bugs. I don't wanna count that. We used nuclear rockets (akin to an RPG but it's shoulder mounted on power armor) to clear out arachnid dens + colonies.

As an asset, I know I was used more recon than anything, but when I was ordered to get my hands dirty, by god, they got DIRTY. I'm glad I can't remember any numbers from that. I do know I had ""eradicated"" an entire remote research blacksite once. (At least) so. I've got a feeling that life has a number in the low triple digits.

Flametrooper - do buildings count? I mean yeah okay I def got SOME people bc a flamethrower is a weapon that's addressed "to whom it may concern" if ya catch my drift.

Necromancer - uhhh reverse death count? I guess?? I was enlisted to bring soldiers back from the dead during particularly nasty battles, so we wouldn't loose *as many* people if we could.

- DDC ☢️

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[fictionkinfessions]

Weirdly common "patterns" in my lives: being in some form of like. Military. 4 of them, probably 5 actually-

3 of them having a range of ehhh not super great experiences lmao.

Starship Troopers: Oops only survivor of my squad on a planet drop bc of the damn arachnids? Check. Get rotated back to Earth bc that and got stuck training the FNGs that are just meat for the grinder that is the mobile infantry,,, :)))

Star Wars: Flametrooper in the First Order. Enough said for why that wasn't great lol

MCU: I was a fuckin HYDRA Asset. Case closed. Horrible. 0/10 dont recommend. I still want my wings again, though. Hey universe, let me fly challenge-

The other 2 were better and like, for one of them - Who wouldn't want a dragon as their BFF even if said dragon was a jerk (lovingly) sometimes lol (Dragonfable)

And yet. Here I am. Seriously, considering the military. Again. Oh, well.

- DDC ☢️

(Tags; Marvel, MCU, starship troopers, star wars, dragonfable, noncanon)

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[fictionkinfessions]

Man, okay. I came in here to yap about smth but forgot what it was as soon as my brain went "hey this is sorta hilarious, right? Send a kinfession while on break at work? In what is essentially your country's version of the pentagon?"

Anyways. Ppl sending kinfessions from odd locations, rise up! [/silly, lighthearted]

- DDC

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[fictionkinfessions]

Canonveniences: the urge to smoke was def a big one. I smoked in two of my lives, mostly cigarettes, tho sometimes weed in one of them.

I sorta fell back into that once I figured caffeine (coffee, energy drinks, etc) did nothing for keeping me awake. But nicotine did. I work retail now, sue me :p (pls do not I am broke af-)

Another one is the longing to fly. I miss it so much, and there's only so much I can do to try and replicate it. Certain rides if I'm able to go to an amusement park are good. Indoor skydiving was a damn good one. I'd like to do so more, and maybe learn more on the maneuvers. It's very different from when I flew, but still feels fantastic.

Overall, it's a hate crime from the universe that I don't have wings anymore. Biggest inconvenience ever to be frank.

Last one is actually being *good* at stuff. Be it the skills I learned and used from lives where I was in some form of military, a life where I was good with tech and making stuff, whatever. I feel like I'm lacking so much in this life, and whenever I try to apply myself, it gets so difficult to learn and learn well. I get frustrated and sad.

Sometimes I wish I was back in the life of one of my kintypes, especially particular ones, just so I didn't have to deal with this shit.

- DDC☢️

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[fictionkinfessions]

I was camping this weekend with friends, on a lake. When we were boating, I always sat at the front and leaned into the wind. I had my sunglasses on, and headphones too.

It almost felt like I was flying again. If it wasn't for the music I was playing (lol) and the boat engine noise, it sounded just like the way I remember wind rushing past me.

God... I miss my wings. I deserve to fly again like that.

- DDC

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