Good news, neurodivergent people, active practice with “decision tree” problem solving gives you results!!
I recently got a new-to-me car that has keyless entry and starting, and I’m still adjusting.
Because of the way my super-budget apartment garage works, it’s most convenient for me to unlock, open, and then lock the door before driving in.
Today, I had a brief panic that my keys weren’t in my pocket as I approached my apartment. They were hooked on my purse strap, as I’ve trained myself to do previous car for shopping. It was all good.
But I realized there was a chance I’d locked all my keys in my garage, which is kinda an issue.
I have anxiety. I have had major, major anxiety periods with recovering from trauma, with serious meltdowns at self-perceived failure.
And my brain just calmly goes…
“The apartment office can get into your garage.”
Me: It just closed, they close before my shift ends, remember?
“Ah, right. They’re on your purse, by the way.”
Me: Thank you. *opens apartment front door*
“All else failed, Mom has your spare apartment keys so you could at least get inside.”
Me: She’s out of town this week.
“Well, we definitely had our phone and purse. We could have called an Uber, got a hotel for the night, and the apartment office is open before our shift tomorrow so we could have fixed things that way.”
Not sure if that was the best option given all the circumstances- but it was a viable, calmly delivered option.
I’ve seen multiple college kids at work have complete breakdowns at misplacing their phones. By all rights, I should have been exactly the same.
But I’ve got 20 years of adult problem solving on them. 20 years of exposure to alternatives (how to book a hotel) and experiences (getting spare keys from relevant places).
20 years of accepting that talking to myself, step by step, gets me through a problem better than freaking out first.
Getting older as a neurodivergent (clinically diagnosed depression and anxiety, self diagnosed depression and cptsd) hasn’t made things worse.
The longer I live with - and work with - my brain, the better things are for me.
