#demonsinyourhead

[takingabreakasidefromtublr]

You'll only understand my words if you'll understand my silence.

[takingabreakasidefromtublr]

The pain will subside, they said.

Didn't know I have to relive it first, then pull out the knife stuck in my core.

[takingabreakasidefromtublr]

"And if I was going to live, I'd spent moments writing and a ghost in my own home; the only way I could stay sane without anything in the world expecting."

- In this poetry, I personally think that I live in two realities; the one I'm settling to, and the one I wanted to live in. If I could ONLY choose just one, I would preferably pick the latter one.

'Writing', I guess, has taken a large portion of myself, it became my healing counterpart in unforeseen and inevitable circumstances; it's the only thing that keeps me sane and grounded in such tragedies. I used it to express how I felt without any boundaries and it didn't need me to vocalize it.

'A ghost in my own home' is a representation on myself being invisible at times, it's not a negative statement but it's like a breather for me. Being somehow invisible can gain a lot of control on what goes around in-and-out of your life; it's a power you hold for yourself only. It has no pressure, no rush, no nothing. I can definitely grow in my own pace without any consolidation from anyone else. I can only crave my self validation through myself without anything or anyone on the world expecting.

But even so sometimes I wish I could choose one, I wouldn't. Having both realities balances everything in my life and without the other one, I would lose myself. The first reality(settling) is actually the one feeding my second reality(wanted). It's a struggle, but it gives inspiration to each other.

Btw, it's open for your own interpretations. I would gladly like to know what your thoughts are about this.

[its-lolla0219]

When I was six, I read a Tswana poem about an orphaned boy. The book stuck to my mind, Or maybe how everyone around him treated the dogs better than him. I realised that the reason this book made sense, is that I have always seen me as that orphan, unlike the boy, my Dad did not die from a war nor did my mother get killed by a snake after gathering firewood. I know where my mother is, I know where my Dad is, they are just not a part of my life. They had a choice, and with a million reasons spinning through my mind, I have to fight with the thought of how unwanted I am by the very people who brought me to the world. I have to learn about my greatness through conversations with my mind that leaves me tired all the time, because my mind is ruthless, it can shred me to pieces before anyone ever says anything. I have had 20 something years, trying to convince the people in my life that I am worthy of life or rather try to convince myself that I am deserving…

L. L. Fleming

[takingabreakasidefromtublr]

No Escape

I’m in a dark place

which I can’t escape

A small light appears

And when I’m near, it disappears

I’m a prisoner in my own thought

Thinking of straggling but I started to bolt

There are four corners

but I don’t see any doors

Circling around for hours or more

Feeling exhausted so I lay down the floor

As I stare on to the highest point

Dizziness I feel and soreness around my joint

I recognize the pain when I thought I was hallucinating

It suddenly hit me, I am dreaming

Of the monster I held for too long

I tried to withheld but it’s too strong

I can lightly see what i’m against to

For war’s about to brew

I am ready to face what’s underneath this place

I stopped when I recognize the face,

The monster inside,

It’s me

[takahiromoritaa]

Mighty Long Fall~One Ok Rock I knew

This side of me, I want a little more
But inside it seems, I’m just a little bored
Nothing else!

Don’t go! It’s a mighty long fall
When you thought life is tough Whoa
Oh no, It’s a wake up call
When your life…waiting to shine Whoa whoa

It seems like gravity keeps pulling us back down
Don’t go! It’s a mighty long fall
When you know time is up Whoa!!! From the time when I started losing my mind I remember seeing it !!! The Demon!! With all his weapons ready to take me down. It wanted to control me, I did not let it, i have been fighting since then for myself until today, but he is like everything and everyone, on this world all depends on me, on how much Power I lend him by losing my concentration and strength. this demon can be my best friend but this all is up to me to keep it under control, cause when I start losing it he comes back with all he's got, to hit me, and bring me apart, to brake down my castle of crystal, and to take over the inside of me, but he never will, because just the thought of me losing the only thing I have is not possibly cause the only thing i have left is my heart, family and friends an the feeling to love what's left of this life. #oneokrock #oor #vanswarpedtour #mightylongfall #awesome #demonsinyourhead