#depression rant

[foxlungz]

We need to talk more about people who believe that antidepressants magically fix everything and that because someone takes them that they are all better now. Sadly it doesn’t work that way and most of the time it just helps the black cloud of depression that envelops your brain a tad smaller and helps you get through stuff a bit easier. Just because someone’s on meds for their mental health doesn’t mean they still don’t struggle. So having the mindset that people with mental health issues need to take antidepressants to “fix” all of their problems is such a harmful mindset to have. Also want to mention that sometimes these meds can actually have the opposite effect and make someone feel so much worse if it isn’t the right one for them. So to treat it in such a way just angers me.

[dresupi]

I have fucked up my life beyond repair. I must have, because none of this would be happening if I didn't deserve it.

I've made too many bad decisions. I've let breaks slip through my fingers. I'm never going to be able to dig myself out of this. Everything that can go wrong, does. Because I fucked up my life. There's no way to fix it. I simply cannot handle anything else. I can't force myself to write. I suck right now anyway. I don't know how to market anything I make because I truly and honestly don't think anything I do is any good and people can tell that I don't believe the words when I say them. I can't seem to monetize literally anything that I do anyway. Everything I do is a waste.

My health is fucked and my family and I are trapped in a place that hates us, with no one close by, and no way to escape.

I have another MRI to check my brain next week, and I got a weird pap smear, so I have to go to the ob-gyn to check that out.

I honestly cannot think of anything good that could possibly happen.

And if it did, it would go to shit immediately.

I'm not thinking of anything dark right now, I just... I'm numb to everything.

[stardustandash]

listen its stupid its so stupid but the fact that my preorder of jedi survivor hasn’t arrived has sent me into such a depression spiral. It was the game i told myself when i preordered it was a promise to have something to look forward to not not kms, but now that its not here and looks like its not actually going to come its just taking all i got to be here rn.  it’s been a rough year. Like I said its so stupid. 

[blue-spruce-bruce]

At this point I feel so depressed I don't even know how to talk about it. It's been there my entire life, but today it feels so terrifying I want to ask for help. I have a support system and people who want to help but I don't even know what to ask of them. Then the embarrassment.

It's a whole cycle that's taking place between my ears and all that's left is a loud ringing. I don't know what to do

[boldlyvoid]

.

my sleep schedule is fucked up, i'm beyond depressed, i woke up at 3pm today and already want to take another nap. i haven't been this low in over a year and it's so frustrating. i know i need to be kind to my body and let it do what it needs to recover, it needs a deep rest and a reset but i feel like a waste of space

[submalevolentgrace]

i don’t think it’s a coincidence that so many authoritarian governments are severely cracking down on their populations during the pandemic, when fleeing as a refugee is near impossible. usa, central china, brazil, poland, probably a shitton more that aren’t making the headlines where i’m reading.

i don’t really have a point. it’s just soul crushing. governments are just... fucked.

[chibimonkey]

Feeling like a glitch tonight. Or maybe an annoying pop up ad. I tried to spend some time with my parents after dinner — my father fell asleep on the couch and my mother preferred the company of In Touch magazine. Tried texting a friend and actually got a response but she went silent the moment I mentioned I was having a bad mental health day stemming from a desperate need for human interaction. So. Me and the cats are in bed and I’m contemplating going to sleep already at 8:51 despite having already slept fourteen hours today. Things are just... easier. When I’m asleep. People give a shit sometimes in my dreams.

[samcaarter]

what is normal? What is living? What is what is what is

do I want a ‘normal’ live? Am I just feeling left out? Or do I want to live quietly and to hell with travelling and ‘fancy’ things that I could buy?

I don’t know what I really want. What I think I want is frankly too good to be true, so does it mean giving up on everything?

and I’m afraid to end up alone. But also the thought of doing something makes me want to curl up on the floor and cry

you know that post that says that depression is like fighting a war where the enemy is trying to convince you it isn’t actually happening. Tbh even talking to a therapist terrifies me