#desi parenting

[yourveryowndesigirl]

Career options for me according to my parents

Choose one of the following.

1. Doctor 2. Engineer 3. IAS 4. Disappointment

[celestesinsight]

As far as I have observed or experienced;

Indian parents can be sorted into two categories;

the 'starve themselves to feed children' types who selflessly love their children and make them their first and foremost priority and always want to give them a better life than they had;

and the 'pass down generational trauma to children' types who makes children recipient of all their traumas, dreams, failures and expectations and turns the childhood into most traumatic and toxic experience a child can have.

There is no in-betweens.

Dibya's ruminations

[themusingsofatwentysomethin-blog]

My parents: You need to get out do something.Look at xyz.

*when I finally get a job offer*

Also my parents: What is the point of working? You are still young.

[marridtobooks]

The Arranged Marriage Connundrum - Why Was I Always Asked to Be Better, but He’s Good Enough for Simply Existing?

On the double standards in raising daughters vs marrying them off TW: Suicidal ideation, anxiety, coercion Where do I begin? I am a 28-year-old “older” daughter with MBBS and MPH degrees, and a full-time job in a field I absolutely love and feel deeply passionate about. I’m preparing for my USMLE steps while juggling a full-time job, my health, meals (often meal-prepping), cleaning, doctor and…

[diviinecouncil]

brown culture is my parents do not love each other, and none of my indian friends are concerned

this is, after all, a normal part of the experience

we are the culture of arranged marriages

but my parents chose each other

and they still chose wrong

brown culture is my mother telling me

fighting is normal. fighting is healthy. this is how we communicate.

i do not bother to say that a one sided fight is an assault.

brown culture is knowing when to keep your mouth shut.

brown culture is my anna called me the r slur

and told me it was a joke

stop being so sensitive

and then he said it again

brown culture is my excusing him every time i tell the story, saying

he’s fifty years old. he’s from india.

somehow, the second part of the sentence

convinces them more than the first

brown culture is lying awake at night wondering when ‘you’re just like your mother’ started sounding less like a compliment and more like a threat

brown culture is i am a smart kid

i am the smart kid

i am the kid that is going places

brown culture is algebra textbooks at the age of nine

trig at ten

kumon packets and aops textbooks and khan academy videos

being voted ‘most likely to need therapy’ by your eighth grade lunch table

brown culture is nothing is wrong and nothing is okay

because we all know that we’re all the same

and nobody is ever really different

i am not intelligent, i have had intelligence laid out before me in a path i was born to follow, born to take the road that was traveled so often it was relaid in concrete, never asphalt, never darker than we need to be

we’ve always been a modern family, after all

brown culture is this is okay, because you are brown

brown culture is we are our own racists

brown culture is we do not need you to build us a box

we can do it ourselves

with that handy engineering degree that you always said we would get.