The Design in Her Mind
Part 8/?
Genre: drama, romance Rating: PG-13 Group: Monsta X
Summary: Sooyeon meets Monsta X by chance on the streets when they try to help her and her friends shake off creepers, but the meeting ends on a sour note. Some time later, Sooyeon meets the boys again, but at Starship’s headquarters. Although they act cold to each other, Shownu becomes more and more curious about her.
Disclaimer: This is 100% fictional and my own story. It is unrelated to the actual events and real persons of Monsta X and Starship. In regards to this particular fic, I’ve created new K-Pop groups and Sooyeon Kim is my original character. Parts will be written in Korean with English translations. I did not major/study in English/Korean, nor was I ever strong in English/Korean grammar, so there will be grammatical mistakes. This fanfic is written in third person and past-tense for ease of writing.
March 17 Tired of this company…
< THE DAY BEFORE >
Arm wrapped up with ointment and plastic wrap, Sooyeon’s eyes twinkled at the sight of her new tattoo. The lyrics of Before Our Spring were tattooed neatly, in typewriter text, on her forearm and below her elbow. It calmed her down, seeing the tattoo on her skin and the lyrics permanently embedded onto her body.
“야! 김수연!” (Translation: “Hey! Kim Sooyeon!”)
A loud voice called out to her, and before Sooyeon turned around she smiled at the voice. Two arms wrapped around her without warning and Sooyeon laughed, “언니, 오랜만!” (Translation: “Long time no see!”)
As she turned around, Hani buried her face into Sooyeon’s neck. When Sooyeon smiled, Hani must have felt the muscle movement, since she raised her head and squished Sooyeon's cheeks. "내가 꼭 네 소식을 현식이한테 들어야되?? 우리가 그렇게 안 친했나?" (Translation: "Do I really have to hear about what you're up to from Hyunsik?? Were we not that close?")
From the back, Hyunsik chuckled. Hani shot a glare, and Sooyeon tugged at Hani's hands to let go of her cheeks. She replied, "미안, 말 할 틈이 없었어..." (Translation: "Sorry, I didn't have the chance to tell you...") Her eyes wandered down to her arm and Hani's expression softened.
"무슨 일 있었어?" (Translation: "Did something happen?")
Sooyeon looked up to find worried looks painted on both Hyunsik's and Hani's faces. She cracked a small smile and shook her head. "아니야... 한 동안 괜찮았는데... 또 이 일하니까 불안해서... 받았어." (Translation: "No... I was okay for awhile... but I got it... because I'm nervous from working in this field again.")
Hani hugged her tightly once again, while Hyunsik patted Sooyeon's head.
They stood like that in the cold for a few minutes before Hyunsik ushered them into a cafe. After ordering five plates of cakes and a few rounds of coffee, time seemed to fly so quickly for Sooyeon. She chattered away with Hani and Hyunsik for hours in the cafe. And before they left for the night, Hani pulled the two together to take a group selfie. Hyunsik and Sooyeon both asked for her to send a copy to each of them, and once everyone had enough silly pictures in their group chat, they parted ways.
< PRESENT DAY >
"네?" (Translation: "What?")
The first thing Sooyeon blurted out in the cold conference room was a simple "what", but the words that were running by in her head were much more wild.
She was pulled into an emergency meeting by her manager only to find herself in a large conference room with the directors of the agency, her manager and the company's PR team. And after all the tension in the air, the words that spewed out of one of the directors' mouths was asking Sooyeon if she quit being a stylist because she was in a relationship with Hyunsik.
One of the employees from the PR team pulled up the projector and flipped to Hyunsik's most recent SNS post with Sooyeon and Hani. The directors rolled their eyes at it and grumbled that it must be true.
What?! On what basis?! With one eyebrow raised, Sooyeon challenged back, "EXID 하니언니도 있는데, 안보이시나봐요?" (Translation: "EXID’s Hani[-unnie] is also there, but I guess you don't see her?")
Before anyone could pick at her sarcastic tone, she continued, "그냥 친한 친구사이에요. 하니언니랑도 친하고, 현식오빠랑도 친해요. 제가 왜 여기있어야한지 잘 모르겠지만--" (Translation: "We are just good friends. I'm close with Hani[-unnie] and Hyunsik[-oppa]. I'm not sure why I should be here, but--")
"그럼 왜 스타일리스트 일 안하겠단 거죠? 월급을 올려주면 할건가요?" (Translation: "Then why are you rejecting the stylist position? Will you do it if we raise your salary?") A grumpy old man scoffed. Ugh, that old fart.
Another old man added, "혹시 하기싫은 이유가 그... 신인 아이돌 팀 -- 모뉴먼트 때문인가요?" (Translation: "Is the reason you don't want to because of that... new rookie group -- MNMT?")
Just hearing the name of the group that brought her down to her dark memories made a shiver run down her back. Sooyeon slowly turned to the second man and stared with confusion. What did they mean?
The PR team coldly explained that MNMT's agency had been asking for Sooyeon's contact information but it seemed they didn't know about her previous experience in makeup and stylist work -- which brought to the attention of the higher ups. Why were they interested in hiring someone they knew nothing about? One employee speculated that a member or two of MNMT were interested in Sooyeon, as in interested romantically. As all eyes shifted towards Sooyeon, she felt the heat drain from her body. As if the only remaining light in her body clicked off, darkness was seeping back into her mind. It's happening again.
She coughed, clearing her throat a little and tried to regain her balance. "제가 그만둔 이유는 딱 한가지이에요: 재미가 없어졌어요. 일을 하면서 너무 지치고 스트레스 받아서 싫어졌어요. 비투비멤버들이랑 스태프분들이랑 친해졌지만, 다른 가수들 때문에 문제가 생기고 힘들어서 못 견뎠어요." (Translation: "I quit for one reason: it stopped being fun. I stopped liking it when work got too tiring and stressful. Though I became close with the BTOB members and their staff, I couldn't handle it after having problems with other singers.") When a director tried to interrupt her and probably ask about the certain problems she had, Sooyeon abruptly stood up. "저를 기핋고 스타일리스트로 고용하시겠다고 그러시면, 저는 사표낼게요." (Translation: "If you insist on employing me as a stylist, I will turn in my resignation letter.")
Her manager slammed a hand down. "김수연씨! 이런 자리에서 협박하시는겁니까?" (Translation: "Miss Sooyeon! Are you threatening us in this situation?")
"네! 저는 스타일리스트 일 절때로 하기싫습니다. 저를 글로벌팀에서 짜르고 싶으시면, 그러세요." (Translation: "Yes! I do not want to work as a stylist. If you want to fire me from the global team, then that’s fine.")
At her words, suddenly the conference room erupted with angry voices. Sooyeon raised her gaze at the ceiling before locking eyes with her manager. She seemed furious and horrified at Sooyeon’s rebellious attitude towards the higher ups. Sooyeon also knew, there could have been better ways to handle this, but she wasn’t going to stand down. After all, she had already warned her cousin and her cousin’s friend she wasn’t afraid to drop it all if it came down to the worst.
In the midst of the chaos, her manager motioned for Sooyeon to leave the room. A part of her was curious, but since she mostly didn’t want to deal with it anymore, Sooyeon stiffly walked out. She could hear the directors sputtering and screaming about how disrespectful she was, but she didn’t stay to hear what her manager had to say to them.
As she made her way to the elevator, she saw the entirety of Monsta X approaching. Her eyes naturally scanned the group and before she realized it, her eyes were searching for someone. When they landed on Shownu, she gritted her teeth. Don’t get involved. Her feet halted and instead of heading into the elevator, Sooyeon turned to walk out the emergency exit for the stairs.
Little did Sooyeon know, her manager tried to appease the directors and upper management by explaining Sooyeon’s important role in the global business team. She explained to the angry old men that Sooyeon was far too young and Americanized to understand how Korean hierarchy and respect works in the office. However, the directors simply scoffed, wanting nothing more than capitalizing on Sooyeon’s abilities as a makeup artist or stylist. They made it clear to her manager that it would be hard for her to continue working if she couldn’t pressure Sooyeon or force Sooyeon to switch to the company’s stylist team.
April 8 Fuck everything.
Something was off. The air was unusually stale and tense, and Shownu couldn’t help but squint at the groups of people whispering. Before he could nudge his manager and ask what was going on, he overheard a name that sounded familiar to his ears.
“김수연씨 조만간 관두겠지?” (Translation: “Miss Sooyeon will quit soon, right?”)
“당연하지! 아니면 먼저 짤림 당하면 어떡해!” (Translation: “Of course! She’s going to get fired if she doesn’t quit first!”)
His head whipped around, staring at the employees whispering. They didn’t seem to notice his attention, and he realized that everyone in the office was talking about Kim Sooyeon. 내가 아는 김수연씨는… 아니겠지? (Translation: Can’t be the Miss Sooyeon that I know… right?)
When his manager sighed, Shownu finally nudged his manager. Sticking out his chin in the direction of the people talking, he asked with his eyes what was going on. His manager sighed again before whispering, “저번에 한번인가 두번 스타일리스트일 도와준 김수연씨 기억해?” (Translation: “Do you remember Miss Sooyeon who helped out with styling that one or two times?”) Shownu nodded. “무슨 중요한 계약을 날렸데. 근데… 들은 바로는, 뭔가 비린내가 난데.” (Translation: “I heard she lost a major contract. But… from what I’ve heard, apparently something smells fishy.”)
“...무슨…? 뭐가?” (Translation: “...What…? Like what?”) Shownu asked, hesitantly. His manager seemed to know more but wasn’t letting him in on everything.
His manager mumbled something, and Shownu could only catch parts of it. But it was enough to understand the gist of it. After all, he knew after the first time she did his makeup, the explosive reaction made those old farts hungry for more. Grimacing, his jaw clenched tight and he stared at the ground as they continued to walk out of the office area. What he didn’t know was how desperate they were and the decision to pressure Sooyeon to lose her current job to force her in as a stylist. She lost a game she was bound to lose from the very beginning, and it must have left a bitter taste in her mouth. Even he felt it.
April 9 Thank you. I’ll take up that offer.
The first thing Shownu registered was the paper fluttering down. Sheets on sheets just fluttered down, like someone had taken a large fan and knocked a few stacks of paperwork down.
Except they were thrown. At someone’s face. At Sooyeon’s face.
When his eyes readjusted to the scene, he noticed a red line appearing on Sooyeon’s cheek. He opened his mouth to warn her, but was cut off by the person who threw the papers.
“장난같아요? 왜 이렇게 항가하실까?? 계약은 어떡해 할건데요?! 이렇게 일 처리를 못 하시면 짤리는 수 밖에 없습니다.” (Translation: “Does this seem like a joke? Why do you have so much free time?? What are you going to do about the contract?! I have no other choice but to fire you if you can’t get this job done.”)
Neither of them seemed to register Shownu in the room. Even though Sooyeon was facing the door, where Shownu was standing, her eyes were trained on the other woman.
With a fierce look in her eyes, Sooyeon replied through her teeth. “팀장님은 처음부터 저 자르려고 했잖아요. 그러니까, 이거 먼저 수리해주세요.” (Translation: “From the beginning, team manager, you were going to fire me. So, please process this first.”) She whipped out a long envelope and slammed it down. In bold letters, it wrote “사직서” (Translation: “Resignation Letter”). With that, she turned away from her manager and walked towards the door.
It was only then, she seemed to register Shownu’s presence. It was another side of her that he was witnessing for the first time -- her eyes were filled with fury and fire, but the frown she wore showed disappointment and sadness as well.
When he opened his mouth again to point out the cut on her cheek, her hand raised up, shutting him up instantly. As her hand reached up to touch his shoulder, he stiffened. But it only lasted a hot second, since Sooyeon used his shoulder as leverage to push him aside and stomp off. Only hesitating for a moment, Shownu ran after her.
He watched as she took swift strides to her desk and pack her stuff in a small box. He noticed others staring at her and whispering, as they all realized she was prepared to quit at any time.
“그럼 그렇지…” (Translation: “Well, of course…”)
“그렇게 될줄 알았겠지… 아니면 누가 이사님들에게 그렇게 대해. 더 일찍 그만두지 않았던 게 더 놀랍다.” (Translation: “She probably expected it to end up like this… or else who would ever talk to the directors like that. It’s more surprising that she didn’t quit earlier.”)
Similar murmurs reached Shownu’s ears, and it was clear she could hear them too. Even though she seemed to try to ignore the words, he could see her frown deepening at every comment made by her coworkers.
However, despite the words trying to bring her down, Sooyeon held her head up high. She swung her bag over her shoulder and carried her box out confidently.
It was only moments later when Shownu wandered in and out of the building a couple times before he found Sooyeon outside on the premises. Her box sat closely next to her, while squatting on the ground made her figure look even smaller. He was almost scared what kind of expression she wore or if she would be crying.
As he approached her quietly, his movement seemed to warn her and Sooyeon’s head popped up. Something inside twisted and he felt a dull pain when he saw the look in her eyes. They were no longer filled with the burning fire -- they were instead replaced by a dimming light, threatening to fade into nothingness in a matter of minutes.
With a broken voice, Sooyeon asked, “왜… 따라나오신거죠?” (Translation: “Why… did you follow me out?”)
“괜...찮아요?” (Translation: “Are… you okay?”) he asked hesitantly. It was as if he was gripping at the ropes tightly, trying to hold onto the speck of light still showing in her eyes. She seemed… so fragile, like approaching her too fast or saying something overly sympathetic might make her run the opposite direction. Away from him.
As she looked up at him, he could read the confusion in her expression. He gave an awkward smile, hoping she wouldn’t take him the wrong way. Instead of replying, however, she simply sighed and looked back down.
뭐든지 하자. 그냥. (Translation: Just do it. Whatever it is.) Shownu reached into his pocket and took out something he had been meaning to give her since he saw her in that conference room earlier. His fingertips shook a little as they reached out with a small band-aid.
Her head lifted once more, but this time, something in her eyes sparked and light reflected off. No longer showing the dimness, Shownu took a step forward and asked, “한잔 하실래요? 그냥… 조용히 얘기 듣고 있을게요.” (Translation: “Do you want to get a drink? I’ll just… sit quietly and listen to you.”) Pursing his lips tightly, he smiled.
“...”
...잘못 읽었나? (Translation: ...Did I read her wrong?) He racked his brain to quickly come up with a lame excuse, but she caught him off guard.
“좋아요.” (Translation: “Sure.”)
His eyes met hers and Sooyeon’s gaze startled him. For the first time, he saw a warmth that he had never before seen. It was like a soft sunlight hitting the warm beach sand. Like a slight breeze dancing by, but the sun rays still holding him. As she took the band-aid from him and smiled gently, Shownu knew. Curiosity was long gone, the brakes had stopped long ago, game over.
*** TBC ***
A/N: sorry I’ve been so MIA!!! hope you all enjoy this story! :)