Beauty isn't Found In A Magazine
SUMMARY: You liked Remmick-actually you loved him and wanted to be a bit delusional to yourself and think he loved you but you knew he wouldn't like you. You had seen the other girls in your town that pined for his attention, Ariela, Nancy, Claire and Fiona. Those four women had model-type bodies, slim and thick at the same time...where you were just chubby, yea you had curves but it wouldn't be even a shot in a dark compared to them..except when the fact Remmick watches you-already in love with you but you had been oblivious to his attempts of courting you, either because you thiught he was being kind and didnt mean it that way, because of how you looked or because he was too scared to correct you, until tonight.
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You walked through the town, it was closing down for the day since it was getting close to dusk and there had been a few people going missing only to show up, then disappear over and over again. It sent everyone into a tizzy, even you, though you didn't care if you lived, more so if they'd hurt you. Despite your slight fear, you knew you had to get groceries today so that you could make dinner or you'd be eating stale bread and butter.
You rush over to the small grocery store, quietly apologizing for coming so late to the older man behind the counter who just smiled half-heartedly. You put two squashes into your bag, then a head of lettuce, a few tomatoes, a jar of pickles, three cucumbers, some fruits, a loaf of fresh rye bread, a stick of butter, a glass of milk, a jug of water, and a bag of sugar. You went to the countertop, only to be met with no one there and a gold coin there with a note beside it. You saw it, picking it up and in scratchy handwriting it said 'dont worry about paying little lady, its my pleasure'. You read it again before shaking your head, it must be for one of the other women in the store, or you assumed there were other women in the store. You pushed the coin and note aside, hoping it would find the lady it was addressed to, then you put the 20-dollar bill and a few cents on the countertop that you owed before heading home.
You could've sworn you saw someone a few feet behind you as you walked home but you shrugged it off, they probably lived near you, nobody would want you anyways, or at least you had thought that. Well it's more so that you were abused around for so long by others and your ex-husband running off for a skinnier woman had really put you in a bad mental place about your chubby body, before that, you loved softness and stretch marks-now you hated them.
You unlocked your front door, walking in and closing the door behind you before locking it again. You walked to your kitchen, putting the shelf-stable things away in your cabinet, then put the fruits, veggies, and other items that needed to be refrigerated into your refrigerator. Then put your shopping bag back into your kitchen closet, where you kept your broom, mop, and empty mop bucket. You nearly forgot to take care of the milk and water before putting them into your fridge swell, closing the fridge door, and walking to your bedroom.
You kicked off your shoes at your bedroom doorway, walking in and closing the door behind you, turning from the window, not paying any mind. For a second you felt watched but brushed it off, it was probably an animal..right?
You turned back around to the window as you took off your shirt to see two red glowing eyes staring at you, for a second you stood still before a scream ran through you and you threw your shirt at it but thankfully it hit the window separating it from you. The animal or whatever it was ran off after, you calmed down, making sure you left every door and window locked, closing the curtains, and keeping a knife on your bedside table before heading to bed.
Thankfully with the white silk night gown you wore it was cool, it was pretty, it was tightened at the waist and chest but loose the rest way down, it was a pretty night gown. Despite that, you felt like you couldn't sleep, obviously paranoid, like that creature was waiting for an opening or something. You stared at the curtains that hid the closed and locked window behind them, the little light from the moon creeping in between your curtains illuminated your floor. Keeping your mind in the window and keeping yourself safe, until a knock echoed from your front door, you clasped a hand over your mouth to keep you from screaming, it was like a jump scare.
You knew it wouldn't be smart to answer the door but the knock came again, softer, slower, like the person was trying to seem less surprising and hell-it worked.
You opened the door and saw Remmick, a man you had heard of, it wasn't like he was hated here, no he was welcomed. He had kept your town safe, dealing with the dangerous people in town at night, never knew how but at least they were taken care of. It was weird no one saw in the day time, sometimes you could see him at dusk, walking around but other times he wasnt seen for a few nights until randomly popping up and someone else gone.
"Oh-hi Remmick! Come in, how are you? Sorry, its been a while." Opening your door wider for him, he nodded and smiled at you, but looked a bit stressed or atleast confused. You closed and locked the door, then turned to him, flipping a gold coin through his fingers, the same one on the countertop. "Oh you paid for someone's groceries earlier with the other one?"
Remmick stiffened for a second before nodding and speaking softly with his syrup-thick Mississippi accent with an Irish lilt. "Yeah, the girl I paid for was a bit confused or somerhing and paid for it instead, I had to grab it after." You nodded, leading him to your kitchen, to make him tea or whatever he wanted. "I'm sorry, that sucks, did you tell her?"
Remmick was dumbfounded, he stood there like stone watching you move around your kitchen, were you stupid? He described what happened in the store and you're acting like you dont understand or atleast have an idea of what he was talking about.
Remmick sighed, he had done this dance with you before, he had taken out your husband when he found him drunk in a bar with another woman, then came back to you, to see you crying and alone. He felt bad, but a part of him was happy, he had wanted you but your husband was in the way, but now, it was like you understood nothing of his love or love filled actions.
"Yea, I tried..But uh-what'cha makin'?" He walked behind you, trying to ignore the view he had right now, the night gown was thin, almost see-through white silk, and he could definitely see you and your gorgeous chubby body. Your soft hips and hips dips, your round ass, your soft belly, your soft arms, your thick thighs, and your beautiful stretch marks.
He tried to look away as you cut up dried tea leaves and flicked spices into a tea clasp, trying to focus on the tea making but his body thought otherwise. You looked amazing in the night gown, like an angel sent down to heaven but you didn't seem too happy or at least didn't walk with confidence. Which he didn't understand why, if he were you, he would be strutting in this night gown as much as possible, but you hid behind baggy dresses and large shawls.
You turned around, and Remmick immediately looked up at your eyes which were focused on the mug, the tea clasp with the tea ingredients in it, soaking in the hot water, you handed the mug to Remmick, you are unknowing of his thoughts and daydreams.
He mumbled a quiet thank you, shuffling over to the kitchen table, and you smiled sitting still at the other end. You watched him for a second but when he looked up at you, his eyes over the rim of the mug as he took a sip from the tea, you looked away, mumbling an apology.
You cleared your throat, trying to act calm like the man you liked wasn't in front of you but the hurtful idea that somewhat helped you stay calm was that you were chubby. He didn't want a chubby woman, he was married by the ring on his finger, he never mentioned it to you, so you assumed he was happily married. Maybe to one of the women in town, one of the skinnier women, someone to be proud of, not someone you hide away in the house. "So who's your wife? I bet she's worried, you should head home after the tea. Here, I'll make her a little gift bag of fruit and veggies, do you know what she likes?"
Remmick nearly choked on the tea, he had to swallow the gulp of the hot liquid in his throat before looking at your back confused as all hell. He looked at his right hand, the ring, he had another one like it stashed away, one that he wanted to give to you-ignore you'd stop denying him. "Me? Oh..no..I just wear it because it looks good. Do you like it? I have another one, you could have it?"
He hoped you'd get the idea and he could marry you there but you turned around confused, before shaking your head with a soft smile and he knew he had lost the perfect chance to make you his. You apologized for assuming, but it was an honest question, and you put away the fruit and vegetables you pulled out before sitting back down at your seat across from Remmick.
He couldn't understand why you seemed so lost to his tries-he had bought you flowers, you thanked him and planted them, telling everyone what a nice friend he was. He got you your favorite snack food but you said you were on a diet-like hell you were, you were starving yourself so he watched you eat it and then the next night you brought him fresh-cut beef stakes and thanked him for being a good friend. He had brought you a cow to replace the one you had taken to the slaughter to make him and yourself beef but you said you weren't gonna take from him, which meant he had to give it back to the farmer he stole it from.
Now, you had ignored him trying to pay for you, he had followed you home, and couldn't keep himself from watching you until he got caught, at least they didn't look like him-thankfully, and now you had ignored a sly marriage proposal. It was like hell, but he would wait a trillion years for you, he loved you, and he knew you loved him back.
He saw the stolen glances, the blushing, the lip biting, the soft stares at him, you always opened your door to him, and other shit. He just didn't know how to court you if he couldn't even get past being friends with you. If there was one thing he wished for in the world, it would be for you to recognize his love for you, because damn it all, he NEEDED you, he hated to have to spend the days at someone else's house to make sure he didn't scare you or take you off your usual schedule. But he wanted-no, needed, to have you be his, to wake up next to you, to hold you, to kiss you, to love you publicly, to show all the other men what they missed out on.
Except he knew you hated yourself, it was the one thing he knew he couldn't change, he knew you starved yourself a lot, and he hated that, he wanted you, not someone else. He wanted your body how it was, it was soft and healthy, you weren't unhealthy, you were just soft and had chub, that what was hot to him. But since your husband running off, and him secretly killing that damn cheating bastard, you pulled away from everyone, even him. He remembers when he tried to flirt saying he liked a lady in town and you listed off other women when he was directly looking at you. You were helpless and it hurt him, because he knew that you thought less of yourself, which you shouldn't.
"Remmick?" Your voice pierced the silence of your kitchen, the mug was empty now ans he was just staring into the empty mug. He looked up, his dark blue eyes staring at you softly before he sighed and spoke. "Sorry, m'thinking."
You shook your head, not letting him feel bad about getting lost in thought, since you did that as well. "No no, don't apologize, it's alright." You looked vack at him as he looked down at the empty mug he held then up at you with a slightky hardened look. "Do you like anyone?"
The sudden question hit you like a car crash, so it took you a few seconds before you nodded then he asked. "Do you think he likes you back?" You went silent before shaking your head, "No. I don't think so."
Remmick looked confused before standing up, walking to you and put the mug in the sink behind you before he leaned down, his nose nearly touching yours. "Well he does. I know you like me, and I like you too." The words seemed slow, and Remmick gently kissed you before you pushed him away, tears in your eyes. "No! Youre not supposed too!"
Remmick looked up confused and hurt, he felt anger as well but seeing you cry, holding yourself like you were trying to hide yourself behind your hands. "You're supposed to like someone else, anyone else. Not me...Not. Me...Yea I like you but I won't ruing your life. You'll get bored of me, or tired of seeing my body and you'll want someone else. If its anyone else, that won't happen...choose someone worth your love."
You ddint realize you were crying until you felt your hot tears touch your lips then you wiped away your tears. Looking at the ground, but couldnt keep yourself from crying.
"You don't get to tell me who I can and can't love. And no, I won't get bored with you, your ex husband..he's gone, I took care of him. I wouldn't let him hurt you, not anymore. You're beautiful and I'm tired of you acting like you're not, you ignore every hint and gift I've given you. I've been trying to court you for months now, MONTHS. I understand you...you feel like you're something horrible but you're not. You're an angel and someone hurt you, so please, let me help you. I don't deserve you, you are perfect, and hell-the man that ruined it. I beat his ass to death, made it painful. I hate him. I hope you know how much I love you. I dream about you. Every night-" Remmick stopped when you looked up at him, confused and scared, but most importantly, embarrassed. He stepped forward and you looked confused, like you didn't understand anything he said.
"Why? I'm fat and I deserve nothing of your love, I look like the fat witch in childhood stories." The way your voice cracked at the end of the pronunciation broke him, tears spilling from your eyes and then you looked away. Like your tears were guilt over him, but they weren't, yea it was painful to see you crying, especially because of your personal hurtful thoughts on yourself. Remmick moved slowly like he was trying to coddle a wild animal, his hands at his sides and slowly wrapping his arms around you. His arms tightened around you, resting your head on his chest, the gold chain around his neck, kissing your forehead.
"No, you're not the fat witch, and I love you because I think you're a perfect person. You're nothing less than pure love and perfection in a human being. I love your curves, I love your chub, I love your rolls when you sit down, I love your tummy-I love all of it." Remmick's words broke you, you tried to push back the tears but you couldn't. You placed your hands on his chest, crying, as you tried to push away but Remmick held you tightly to him. You broke down crying in his arms, and he let you cry, kissing your forehead and whispering about how beautiful you were.
Remmick hugged you until you calmed down, and he kissed your cheek again, this time you kissed him back. His hands moving down to hold your ass and lift you up but you pulled asya from the kiss trying to get Remmick to stop, worried he'd get hurt or you'd get hurt or worse. Remmick ignored your pleas, he was a vampire, not onky that but he had lifted up cars before and he had to wrestle with that beef cow he brought you, that was hard as hell but you-you were warm and a nice weight in his arms.
Remmick carried you to your bedroom upstairs and laid you in your bed, cuddling you from behind as he kissed your neck softly, muttering soft compliments. You turned to face him, and snuggled into Remmick's front, rubbing your face on his somewhat hair chest like a cat and hummed. "You smell good."
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