#devine theory 2

[devinetheory-2]

POETRY ISNT ALWAYS PRETTY

I didn't call because

I didnt want you to hear

the sadness in my tone

I can't let you see the madness

In my mind

As I try

to accept

the fact that

I

Am

Alone

But I won't go back

to a

bro

ke

n ho

me

I can't come over because

I cant let you smell

the bar and the cologne

All on my clothes.

The women I had with me

the night before

When you had supposedly

broken Your phone

But still

I had to hear your voice

You made your choice

But I cant move on

As try to allign myself

With the idea

That this is real.

Smoke, drink and fk the pain away

Until the memory of her face

Fades from my horizon

And my mind

is completely thrown

And made insane this way

forgets the lies and

My body is paralyzed

With your level of toxicity

Admittedly

I am not very good

with this grief

Or these memories

Searching desperately for symmetry

Trying hard not

to remember our stars

Lest the sadness within

Cripple me

Like how we would always

be together

Like a pair of dice

Or you were my puzzle

And I was your missing piece

Forever searching for paradice

A paradox behind a pair of eyes

And you've likely ended my life

When you took yours

And I'm not sure I can compare a time

Where I didnt swear Im fine

I am an unspoken paradigm

Praying that prayer of mine

Hoping that that theres a sign

A direction I can take

With someone that can relate

To elevate my mental state

To a place I can repair my mind

Always threatened

to do more

Would it be you

Wondering what did I ever

fuck with you for

Stealing food from grocery stores

To provide you more

Of what you couldnt afford

Honesty on a severe decline

And always so rare to find

Pushing through the storm

Anything to keep you warm

Remove the sheath from my sword

As I sleep in that 2 door ford

You want more

You gotta do more for it

Feeling like Hugh Jackman

In that movie swordfish

And I've been letting someone live

rent free in my mind

that can't really afford the mortgage

And I'm trying to evict

But since buying the lies

I really don't have any

money left this time

to take you to court or go to war with

Holding you accountable

just resorts to more shit

and your so called friends

can't seem to see you transform

Until you go to war or forfeit

And these whores support it

Meanwhile I'm Confused

as his muse ignores him

And I choose to light that fuse

And use to get more lit

And I take over

the natural order of things

And try to force shit

As a result my views are morbid

And I see death as the only thing

that soothes the war

But the warrior inside

Refuses to lose

I avoid the noose

Take another sip

from my bottle

of poisoned and poor choices

I let destroy him

- Devine Theory

[devinetheory-2]

I warned you....

It's a storm coming

Tears running

Like the rain

From the pain

Thats pouring thru

Life constantly

testing the formula

For my fortitude

It's almost like the people in my life

Are cool

Until they're through

And can see through you

all the way to the disorders

and then it's almost like

they sort of orphan you

Without you

I really don't have

Much more to lose

And I've never

loved anyone more than you

And we really can't

Afford to ignore the truth

Or let bad fortune

Continue to torture you

You have always been

my whole world

My Florida moon

Used get high

hop in my spaceship

And make it

orbit you

Used to want to get old

And watch life go forward

On a wraparound porch

While temperatures reach a scorching 104

on the 4th of June

Unusual but beautiful

Like an Orchid bloom

So much more

So adored

Came a long way

From the street

sleeping in that 4 door

ford with you

stealing from Stores

cause we couldn't afford food

Needing more

But somehow finding

Comfort in just

being there for you

-DT

[devinetheory-2]

Life and all its woes

lately been feeling....

So Broke though

So Provoked by the lies

That seem to so easily

glide seemlesly

From your throat

Soul so sore

Fell...and Im so close to hell

Both Bare knees

on the Cold floor

I refuse to lose myself

So I choose you No more

Confused...?

I thought we were supposed

to die together

But I know.....

Ive been to your show

I watched you perform

And had all the chaotic storm

That I can weather.

We fell together

we tried to rise together

But because of the lies

Secrets between the heartbeats

The stars keep

Between sleepless nights

Inside I'm dying trying to justify

How to say bye forever...

Because of what I allowed

I been getting higher

Than anything

in the sky could measure

Miles of extra

Heavens design

I confess i tried to profess

My undying love

Thought I could be enough

If I could get ya.

Under all kinds of pressure

Because you say you want to love me

But with the things you've been thru

And the things you would get into

I guess your untreated mind won't let ya

And im not trying lecture

Im simply giving up

because I just don't give a fuck anymore

Thinking if I can get high enough

Maybe my mind

can try and forget ya

But it will be tough

Love bombed

and Trauma bonded

Branded never enough

Until the time my state of mind

Finds that Im in a stretcher

And you're kinda special

I just wish it coulda been different

And I didn't have to convince myself

it's not a lie i been living in

Lines down my wrist

From all the missed attempts

A silent knight

An epidemic amongst men

That have lived through

This kind of plight

And noone bothered to find out

If I was alright

So it would seem

I survived my life

Just so I Could go die In prison

Nightmare's are nightly

And kind of vivid

I wish I could give a f*** but

But Im kinda behind

And really need

to mind my business

Plus I got no time to give it

and I wish I could say at some point

in this life of mine

that I've been living

just trying to survive

If I could only shed this weight and fly

Maybe thrivefor a minute

if only for a time

Trying to stay alive with it

and I wish I could vibe with ya

Because honestly

Sometimes

I kind of miss it

Dying inside

While being hurt and lied to

while I'm trying to make

the right decision

And I was never trying to dismiss ya

But you want a feeling

And I want something real

And that's how I define the issue

So much pain inside

And I'm sorry I don't have the patience

or the time to divide it with you

And I am battle scarred from trying

to fight the source of the lies

That lie within you

- Devine Theory

[devinetheory-2]

And it's only been days

Without You

In a rage and hostile

I'd move on without a fight

But I just don't know how to

Brave but illogical

I've been caged

So an escape is impossible

These days I been lost to you

Plagued

by the thought of you

And I cant see at all

Gifted with the vision

To see you in my stars

And I stretch out as far

As I can reach

But can't seem

to reach them all

Misunderstood

Underestimated frustrated

And close to poppin off

And dropping off the radar

But my essence always answers

When your body calls

Unpleasant isnt it

When cognitive dissonance

visits

Your stomach

And the residual energy

Just sits in the pit of it

And I can read people

But wish I was illiterate

And there is no benefit

When somebody falls

I mean...

Why say fall for

When clearly I aim to elevate

Truth seeker

So I tell it straight

Push your spells

into the aether

Expell the hate

Make it loud

So it resonates

Life squeezed me

I gave it lemonade

Not minute maid

I never been afraid

But you're lying to yourself

if you think you havent been a slave

They didnt give us freedom....

......They just made us

......a bigger cage

DT

[devinetheory-2]

My words are lost

In her beautiful simplicity

Unusual symphony

Convinced she was

Sent to me

Perfect in all imperfections

is not something

One could simply pretend to be

She is the missing piece

And I can tell when she kisses me

She fits purposefully within me...

As if we were meant to be

Religeously filling the void

within the landscape

of my subconscience rendering

awakening

what was once thought destroyed

By lovers turned enemies

as she closes

the now-empty

coffin doors quickly

Waltzing from thought to thought

Tirelessly and endlessly

with flawless chemistry,

God-like technique

and lawless energy....

Feeling like I made her

from a computer

in a dream

when I watch her

in her sleep

Her lips touch mine

And it moves everything within me...

I love her beyond the moon

to infinity

...and I can't help but fear...

That she just might just be

the end of me...

- Devine Theory

[devinetheory-2]

Throw Away Sessions

I keep waking up

To the sound of her heartbeat

it's dark where all my scars meet

Behind these bars that guard me

And I can hardly breathe

Why begin

When everything ends

In tragedy

And it's so sad to see

Love fall

To gravity

Grabbing me

Dragging me

Savagely

Fuck it all

There were to be none

After me....

Cosmic stardust

Spread throughout the galaxy

Past the blasphemy

Through the veil

I had to see the magic leave

As my angel fell from heaven

And landed tragically

I could see through the danger

And the sadness and the anger

I removed the mask opened my heart

And witnessed Gods masterpiece

- Devine Theory

[devinetheory-2]

Was a time I loved...

the fall too

My body still calls to you

If you're the problem

Let me solve you

Dissolve into me

As I absolve you

Of any wrongs

I would hold onto

And guide you in the back door

through any trap doors

you might fall through

Love is not just a feeling to me

Its still real to me

As my frozen tidal wave falls

Eventually I'll love all of you

But you haven't really tried at all

And its just like me

To still follow through

As I don't do today

Even tho, I know

what waiting

for tomorrow will do

As I try to maintain

Through the pain and the sorrow

Feeling dazed

afraid

calandar days scratched off

feeling like ive been attacked

By a rabid pack of dogs

Please don't let my lack of

commitment and fear

of being alone

in this world full of drones

Swallow you...

Drugs...

Getting high

was the only thing

that never let me down

I placed the love

above the drugs

so there wouldn't be

such a cosmic due

After you pushed me

in the water

and Let Me Drown

Thinking you could push them

deep down

Into this hollow you.

So losing all of me

Wouldn't be

Such a bother to you.

....

- Devine Theory

[devinetheory-2]

I wasn't going to post this. I wrote this for @poeticjustic right before we broke up. She passed away recently and she would want me to share it with whoever would enjoy it. I miss you Baemaxx... More than words. This is my rendition of Tennessee Whiskey.

©️ 2022. DevineTheoryINK.

Sometimes I still dream of you 

it leaves me to wonder

as dreams will do... 

I wonder does she miss me...

waking up with me

my midnight kiss 

the moonlights bliss

 her bitter sweet lips 

the taste of her Tennessee whiskey.

Regardless of our toxic history 

being without her kills me....  

and lately she ain't been talking with me.

I've lost myself to myself

in self-hatered pity and misery 

As I reminisce on how

my last relationships did me

so honestly 

it's not really a mystery .

Feeling like a tornado just hit me 

and I'm about to lose it all mentally 

I thought she was sent to me 

My dangerous epiphany 

my Unfinished Symphony 

my whimsical muse 

My musical mystery 

running through my mind endlessly 

I been left behind 

and in my damaged mind 

it would have happened eventually

trying to find some sort of symmetry 

and I promised myself 

after how the last one did me

I wouldn't let anyone else

get to me.

but it seems thru the darkness

that the darkest of things 

would come quickly 

and try to finish me. 

My time here is limited 

and my current mindset limits me... 

and I still can't trust

but I still love her

with everything that I have within me. 

Until we learn not to repeat our history

my memory of you will always be with me...

Because only God knows 

regardless of our highs and lows

and our tireless nights of infamy 

I cant help but miss

the taste of her lips

And the bitter sweet symphony

of her tennessee whiskey.  

- Devine Theory