Light of Our Lives Part 3
Moonrise! Here’s more of this. Enjoy some legitimate development of character. This will be a little more filler than anything. But whatever. Tw: Gosalyn is guilty of manslaughter technically, some Dewlyn, I actually let them swear for the first time wooo.
Gosalyn was quiet over dinner. It wasn’t unusual. Recently she’d had these spurts where she’d be withdrawn and solemn. Drake had hoped they’d become less frequent, which they had, only barely.
Launchpad had invited Della and her kids over for a couple days. They were staying in a hotel in town, but had had dinner with the Mallards the last two nights. Della and the kids had been rather worried about Gosalyn. When Drake explained what had happened, they understood why she was acting so weird.
Now here she was, poking at her peas and potatoes, not talking to anyone. She half-listened to Louie and Della as they went on about an adventure they’d had together. Normally, she would have been interrupting for more details, laughing and gasping at the interesting bits. But tonight she was just quiet, not noting any of the things that were being said.
“And we got out with the loot,” Louie concluded.
“And glory to our names!” Della added, putting an arm around her youngest.
Dewey laughed a bit. “You’re making me wish I’d gone with you.”
Louie rolled his eyes. “This required a bit more class and agility than you have. Plus, there was only enough room for two people in that vault. It was cramped, man.”
Drake looked over at Gosalyn, hoping she’d give some remarks. She didn’t. Now that he took a good look, it seemed like she’d only taken a bite or two out of her potatoes. Dewey glanced up to speak to Launchpad and Drake, but saw the concern on the dad’s face. He traced it back to Gosalyn, who sat next to him, and frowned deeply. She was never so quiet. “Hey,” he whispered, putting a hand on her arm. “Do you want to go talk?” Gosalyn didn’t pull her arm back, but she didn’t respond. She slowly looked up at Dewey, green eyes hollow and sad. Dewey felt his heart break a little at the sight. He nudged her arm. “Let’s go to your room and talk after dinner. You should eat a little more.” Gosalyn shook her head, stiffening. Dewey rubbed her arm and turned back to his plate. “At least don’t waste mashed potatoes,” he said lightly.
Gosalyn couldn’t help the small smile on her face when he said that. It wasn’t forceful, just a suggestion. She did love her dad’s mashed potatoes… Gosalyn picked up her fork and finally started eating. Drake noticed Dewey had said something to her. He didn’t hear what, but he was glad it got her focused enough to eat.
When everyone was done, Launchpad suggested they all move to the living room and watch something. As they headed over, Dewey felt the arms of his jacket get pulled. He looked back to see Gosalyn just staring at him. He looked back at the others. Should he make an excuse? Webby caught his eye and almost asked if he was coming, but saw Gosalyn and instead nodded silently. She’d cover him. Dewey followed Gosalyn up to her room, watching her. She shut the door behind them and looked at Dewey. “I can’t live with myself,” she said, one of her first words that night. “The last three weeks have been hell.”
Dewey frowned and stepped a little closer. “I know. Drake told me what happened at the dam.”
Gosalyn looked at him with teary eyes, then suddenly screamed and kicked the ground. “I’m such a failure! I’m a horrible person!”
Dewey shook his head, holding his hands out to her. “You’re not a horrible person.”
“I let people die, Dewey!” she snapped, going over to her desk. “Three people. A family.” She grabbed a newspaper off of it and threw it at him. Dewey caught it against his chest. He stared at his friend in shock. How was it that Gosalyn could be so quiet and isolated one moment, and suddenly yelling and burning with self-loathing. He unfolded the paper and saw a picture of a family on it. They were mice, two wealthy-looking parents and a young daughter. “I couldn’t get them out in time. The parents fought until they pulled each other off. And their daughter-” She stopped herself and slammed her fists against her desk. “She fell. I tried to pull her up, I did. But there was only so much I could do! She slipped and I dropped her. I let an innocent child die!”
Dewey stared at the picture. The girl looked pretty young, at the very oldest nine. “You tried to save her. Doesn’t that count?”
“No, it doesn’t,” Gosalyn said. “I couldn’t. If I’d just held on a little longer, she’d be alive.”
“You did save a lot of others,” he pointed out. “There are a lot of people who owe you their lives.”
“I owe that child her own life,” Gosalyn said. “Her parents brought their demise on themselves. They fought while we were hanging above the dam. But that little girl tried to follow me. She trusted me to protect her. I broke that.” Dewey looked up at her, seeing tears fall onto her desk, which she was hunched over on. “She’s gone because of me. She’s washed out into the bay because of me.”
Dewey shook his head. “Gosalyn, that’s not it at all. If you hadn’t done anything, they’d all be mind-controlled or sick or hurt.” He walked over to her and set down the paper. “THink of everyone you did save. Do they think you’re a bad person? Of course not! You did everything you could.”
“Not according to them,” Gosalyn spat, smacking the newspaper. “Did you read any of it? ‘Why didn’t Quiverwing Quack do anything about the Pilligas family?’ ‘Does Quiverwing Quack truly care about the innocents of St. Canard?’ ‘Quiverwing Quack: Does she value the lives of bystanders?’”
Dewey rolled his eyes. “The press always says things like that. But they never know the truth. You do. Do you value the bystanders?”
“Yes!” Gosalyn said. “I do. But I’m powerless to protect each of them. What good am I if I can’t stop things like that?” she asked.
Dewey watched silently. He didn’t know what to say. He had never been in her situation before. Not exactly. But he couldn’t really empathize with her over that. When he’d accidentally killed somebody, he’d fought a bad person to protect his family. It was better not to try and compare those. But there was one story he heard from Launchpad he might be able to use. “You’re a good person because you feel guilt and remorse. Your dad couldn’t even do that.”
Gosalyn looked up at him, eyes teary. “What do you mean?”
“He accidentally killed someone. Granted, they technically lived. But he didn’t know that,” he said. When Gosalyn gave him a confused look, he shrugged. “I found out that he accidentally pushed the Liquidator into a vat of poisoned water. He thought he’d died and shrugged it off. Launchpad said that your dad said, and I quote, ‘Cases are so much easier when the bad guy offs himself like that.’”
Gosalyn’s eyes widened. “But- But that was a villain. This was-”
“He wasn’t a villain until then,” Dewey reminded her. “Sure, he was a sour man and a criminal, but he had done nothing that deserved death. He deserved at least some mourning, but Darkwing didn’t feel bad.”
Gosalyn sighed shakily. Did her father really let someone fall and not get upset over it? “I can’t let this go like he did,” she said. “I can’t forgive myself for letting her die.”
Dewey put a hand over hers. “Then don’t forgive yourself. But you can let her rest in peace. And let yourself relax. You tried your best. You saved so many people. But you didn’t quit on her.” Gosalyn looked up at him, breathing more heavily and shakily. “You can respect failure, but not a quitter. And you are not a quitter. You have the decency to recognize that you failed. The guilt you feel proves that you’re good.”
Gosalyn took a deep breath. “How can I be Quiverwing if people died on my watch?”
“People died on your dad’s watch. Good and bad. And he’s still out there, being the best he can be,” Dewey told her. “You’re a great hero. I know you can’t see it right now. But when you see yourself the way I do, you will.”
“I think Quiverwing needs to be put away. Just for a while,” she whispered. “I can’t handle that pressure anymore. I’m not ready to have the city depend on me like this.”
Dewey pulled Gosalyn into a hug. Maybe if he held her tight, he could hold all these dark thoughts out for a little while. He ran a hand through her hair as she relaxed into his body a little. He felt a spot on his jacket get wet. He sighed and hugged her tighter. As Gosalyn just broke down, he whispered comfort to her and ran a hand through her hair. Most people would look at the Duck brothers and think “they’re not good with feelings.” That wasn’t exactly true. They didn’t often have reasons to be sappy and sentimental, but they were able to. But Dewey would deny it if his brothers asked if he’d held Gosalyn tight and rubbed her back to soothe her. He hoped she wouldn’t tell anyone. He’d hate to be made fun of for something so personal.
He eventually led Gosalyn over to her bed, letting her rest and lean into him. He almost felt like he should say something more, but nothing came to mind. Maybe he didn’t need to try and convince her she was okay. Maybe Drake and everyone were going about it wrong when they tried to tell her she wasn’t right about this whole thing. Maybe she just needed to feel like shit. Maybe she just needed someone to keep her afloat instead of pulling her out. Maybe he could keep her afloat until she could pull herself up.
Gosalyn held onto Dewey’s jacket tightly. It was comforting just to have someone there who could take care of her. Someone who could just be there so she wasn’t alone. She lost the concept of time. She only knew it was a long time before her sobs calmed down and she was just sniffling, holding his jacket.
“I think Quiverwing needs to be put away. Just for a while,” she whispered. “I can’t handle that pressure anymore. I’m not ready to have the city depend on me like this.”
“Then put Quiverwing away,” Dewey said, taking her hands. “We’re young. We have all the time in the world to go on adventures and save lives. Your dad is taking care of the city.”
Gosalyn smiled and fell into Dewey’s arms. He caught her and held her close. “I think I’ll get better,” she said with a watery voice.
“I know you will,” he told her. After a few minutes of him ust rubbing her back to calm her hitching gasps, he asked, “When was the last time you slept properly?”
“I don’t even know,” Gosalyn said. “It’s hard for me to sleep at night with all this in my head.”
“Have you told your dad?”
“Yeah. But it doesn’t help much. He tries. I'm sorry I can’t do this for him,” she whispered. “But warm milk doesn’t really help this sort of thing.”
Dewey hummed. “I get it. Sometimes I stay up all night because I get nightmares from certain adventures. Getting crushed by a giant worm and watching your brother make out with it just doesn’t feel right.”
Gosalyn pushed away from Dewey to stare at him. “Wait what?”
“Long story,” Dewey said with a small laugh.
“I’m willing to listen,” she said.
Dewey smirked. “Fine. I can tell you a bedtime story.”
Gosalyn chuckled a bit and pulled away. “Let me put on something more comfortable,” she said, going over to her messy closet.
Dewey blushed and turned the other way. “Yeah, that makes sense.” He fiddled with his jacket sleeves for a minute and only looked back when Gosalyn said.
She was wearing an oversized green sweatshirt, which looked like something she’d taken from her dad, now sitting on her bed, hugging herself. Dewey pulled off his jacket and left it on the bed, scooting next to her and putting an arm around her. “So, Huey and I overheard a call from our cousin Fethry. They were known for coming up with some great story, only to show them a rock or something, right? So Huey and I decided to go anyway.”
Gosalyn smiled as she listened to Dewey go on and on about this old adventure. She would occasionally make a comment about something, but was mostly quiet and attentive. It was progress, Dewey told himself. He wasn’t sure when Gosalyn drifted off, but he looked down to see her head on his chest, eyes closed peacefully. He smiled, resting back on the headboard.
The door opened a few minutes later, and Drake was standing there, suddenly looking confused. Dewey put a finger to his beak, nodding towards Gosalyn. Drake came farther into the room. “You got her to sleep?” he asked, looking almost offended.
Dewey nodded. “She just fell asleep.”
“How did you get her to sleep?” Drake whispered.
“She cried herself exhausted. She dozed off while I was telling a story,” he reported, trying to stay quiet and still so he wouldn’t disturb her. “Did you need her?”
Drake shook his head. “I was wondering where you two went.” He sat at the foot of the bed, frowning at Gosalyn. “I was worried about her.”
Dewey nodded. “So was I. I still kind of am. But I think she’ll get better.”
“You do?” Drake asked. He’d started seriously thinking Gosalyn might not be able to get back up. The remorse she was dealing with had started getting into her whole life, distracting her from school, eating, and sleep.
“Yeah. She will,” Dewey told him confidently.
Drake smiled gratefully. He stood up and stretched. “Welp, why don’t you come downstairs and watch Pelican Island with the rest of us?”
Dewey shifted to get up, but Gosalyn’s hand suddenly tightened on her arm and she whined. Dewey smiled and moved back. “I don’t think she’ll let me. Maybe I’ll stay here a little longer?”
Drake chuckled at Gosalyn’s sudden grip. He nodded and went back to the door. “Two things. One, no clowning around with my daughter,” he said, glaring a bit. Dewey blushed but nodded in understanding. “And two, if she starts sleep-walking, restrain her and call for help. There have been too many incidents.”
Dewey almost asked what the heck he meant, but Drake left, leaving only a sliver in the door. The teen boy looked down at Gosalyn. She might be hard to restrain, but okay. He pulled the blanket over her, smiling. “Goodnight, Gos,” he whispered.
And Gosalyn slept, peaceful in knowing that her beautiful city was safe.
There. This was shorter but I wanted to finish. I didn’t mean to spend so much time on this but oh well. Farewell, best of luck, avoid roasted cabbage, don’t eat earwax, and look on the bright side of life!Moonset!
