#dezert rambles

[redd956]

My feet hurt fairly easily because of the two chronic pain conditions I have, and while in most circumstances this shelves me, I have a compulsive habit of pacing while daydreaming. It's not the same "power" of daydream if I do this sitting or laying down. And when I'm particularly in the zone I'll press on until the rabid pain in my feet force me to stop.

When I was a kid I used to be able to pace for three to four hours, but now I usually stop around hour (I dont pace everyday of the week. Maybe two to four days). Any longer and my feet ache as if I've been standing on them all day.

Call it maladaptive daydreaming, stimming, compulsions, rituals, whatever. It's probably all of those combined (I have ocd and autism too).

But this is one of my many ways my conditions overlap

[redd956]

I love immortal characters who are in for the longevity

I love the drama, story, and implications they bring in

The horrific realization of their best friends looking down on a group photo where one obviously shines younger then the rest

The mortal lover looking at their wrinkles in the mirror, only to turn and see none on their partner

The pain of many wars. Enough wars that they can no long differentiate their contents. Maybe scars have built against their skin over each other, maybe they never scar leaving the immortal with only memories to tell the tale.

Outliving countries, laws, and cultures.

The despair of holding the last piece of their original life, an ancient piece of art, the feather of an extinct bird, a faded letter from an old friend

Their brain isn't able to handle the centuries.

Their memory becoming so full and clouded they forget decades and decades to make way for new memories. They know they won't remember the majority of life, it is all fleeting memories to them.

Or their humanity can't take it. They've seen more than any mortal could manage to in a lifetime. They've lost themselves a hundred times, become a hundred different people, and they will become a hundred more. Their sanity loses itself with each year they continue on.

They write books forever, learn every instrument, speak and forget how to speak many languages.

The immortal runs into the great-great-grandchildren of old comrades, and weeps at the constant mark they leave on the world

Life continues on, and so do they

[redd956]

i am sending hugs. family can be oblivious but i hope youve since found a circle who recognises and appreciates a hobby that clearly means a lot to you :) i always see your worldbuilding posts on my dash and im always like wow actually those questions are damn good i should actually get into worldbuilding (and then i never do because Lazy) so just know you inspire others !

There are tears in my eyes as I type this. Thank you! Thank you a lot

I have now, but I don't enjoy confiding in them about my work and doubts, it's just a personal flaw of mine I need to get over

My found family as I should call them, and my close siblings know what I'm all about, and go out of their way to support me always

I'm healing, and I will eventually, even if it feels like its taking forever haha

Thank you

[redd956]

If I stop posting for extended periods of time fear not!

Three of my classic hyperfixations returned all at once, and they are winning