I have traded my hope for pride
I will care that at the end I am standing
Pride might be more fragile
Than the spider threads of hope
But it will build me a dome
Seven hundred layers thick
From icy words and burning blood
In a lifetime it will catch me too little
To live through the decade
Pride is earned by my hands
By my living and laughing
In a world that would see me dead before safe
And I have earned it countless times
By fighting the venom in my ribs
I deserve to be proud of how far I've come
From the kid who hid under the bed
Who no one believed when they cried
I deserve to be proud of the hundreds of pages
Written by blistered fingers and dotted
That fought nightmares and the urge to tear
I deserve to be proud of having friends
Despite the relentless fear
That I will be left, turned on, forgotten
That they have gone from zero to a handful
I deserve to be proud of trying
Even if I failed or went too far
That I stared at this messy world
And one day found unstable land
And I deserve to be proud of waking up
Of eating, talking, wanting
Through aching ribs and spinning eyes
So no, I will not have hope
For something I cannot hold or see
And what is far beyond complete
That I am succeeding in living at all