Lambert changing diapers
Lambert's first time changing a diaper goes about as well as he expected. That is to say, it went shit.
The moment he started getting the tiny human being unclothed the hell began. A wail so loud it rattled the windows and pierced his eardrums errupted from tiny lungs. Lambert swore impressively, resisted the urge to clamp his hands over his ears, in favor of divesting the baby on the table from his tiny breeches and then the diaper.
The moment he pulled away the cloth the smell he had already detected doubled and all but hit him in the face. It was rancid and made his eyes water. But he inhaled through his mouth, gagged a little and soldiered on. He grabbed a wet cloth and began to clean the, still wailing like a banshee, kids behind. He refreshed the cloth a few times, cleaning it in lukewarm water and got the baby's bottom squeeky clean. He dried the now quieter child off, just as he finished a stream of yellow liquid shot out and hit him in the face. He reeled back, spluttering and cursing and then sticking out his tongue, because fuck it got into his mouth.
"Fucking, fuck gross. What the hell kid?" Lambert spluttered at the baby, who now laughed at the face he was pulling.
Lambert grabbed a clean cloth and wiped his face clean, grimacing at the smell. "Not funny kid," he told the gurgling child, grabbing a clean diaper cloth and frowning. Now he just had to figure out how to put the damned thing on. Lambert grumbled as he shoved the cloth under the kid and began to pin the flaps together.
The kid chose then as the perfect time to fart and Lambert cursed, wrinkling his nose at the smell hitting his sensitive nose. "Ah, fucking hell, gross. Fuck!"
The baby just laughed at his response, clapping his tiny hands together. Lambert finished putting on the diaper and got the kid into a fresh pair of tiny breeches and a new shirt. He wrestled socks onto little feet and wrapped the kid up in a blanket. He was done, someone else would have to clean up, he was done.
