#dick puns

[dudeandduchess]

Since I’m so full of unsavory puns tonight, here’s a piece of sage advice:

“Life shouldn’t be hard. The only hard thing in life should be a dick.”

[facewithoutheart]

Rating: Teen

Words: 1313

Summary:

Simon, Baz, Dev and Niall (FINALLY) go to the pub, with Simon & Baz's minions finding an... uncommon topic of similarity.

(It's dick puns.)

AKA: Simon, Baz, Dev and Niall go to the pub. This is the scene everyone wanted after Any Way The Wind Blows, and it will disappoint you.

Read the fic

[beasthenshin]

So far, that’s the hardest i’ve tried to get a persona

but I fucking pulled it out in the end

[ggukgf-archive]

changkyun making a dick pun on tv is 4ever gonna be the most iconic moment

[tari-aldarion]

rendingrosencrantz replied to your post “PSA”

*sniggers* a big one, eh?

See, I thought I was funny too.

[awfully-depressing]

A: So what're you doing for Christmas?

B: Myself.

A: What?

B: Well I got told to go fuck myself. So I'm gonna treat myself to a dinner, maybe some wine, watch a nice movie while wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, and THEN I'll go fuck myself silly and pass out.

A: That actually doesn't sound all that bad. A bit lonely perhaps, but not a bad evening overall.

B: Well I'm worth it! Gotta treat me nice if I wanna play with my "candy cane" y'know?

A: .....

B: That jolly ol' "saint dick" knows if I've been nice.

A: .....

B: You gotta have fun first if you want to dance with the "sugar plu--"

A: --Plz stop.

[gnickolascarlin]

Summer sausage

The perfect white elephant Christmas gift

[chelfierambles]

So i just had this conversation about dick puns with @mikas-precious-cat-gil