So scared about tomorrow.

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So scared about tomorrow.
Ok but like. Who actually wrote that book of jobs vocational experts refer to during disability cases? Like, "dowel rod inspector"? What?? Like how do you even network for that. Catch me on linkedin dot com looking for a job as a dowel rod inspector. Dowel rod inspector forward slash careers.
Today is my third disability hearing. I'd appreciate any and all good vibes or well wishes you can spare my way. I live in one of the most difficult states to get approved and it's probably only going to get worse.
Had my disability hearing today. Got to explain a "bed day" to the judge. Also got to explain why I want to punch my partner's mom in the face when she says she loves me to the judge as a sign of my irritability. My lawyer explaining to my partner later: "Everybody's mom came up."
I have been disassociating and feeling ill, so my writing has been a struggle to do and edit.
It sucks.
I'm still recovering from the disability hearing honestly.
I slowly started to write up what it was like, but I'm afraid to post it until after I get the decision. Because I'm afraid they're still monitoring everything I do. Since disabled people aren't allowed to have privacy.
The Vocational Expert when asked if there's any jobs the hypothetical person can perform after she heard that the hypothetical person would be off task for over 20% of their work day:
Goddamn, I knew vocational experts could say some outrageous things during disability hearings, but mine just listed 3 jobs and Gave Up ☠️
We were only on the second hypothetical and the judge went are there any jobs for this sick animal and the VE was just like "no, not in my opinion" like bruh ☠️
It's only taken a year and a half, but I finally have my hearing scheduled!