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Me : working on writing some fic

The apartment is silent save for Aegon's snores

Goose : suddenly and unapologetically RIGHT HERE pressing himself against the tablet so I can't see, purring in my eyeballs, nibbling my nose and dead weighting on my arms

Me : seriously? I was just getting in the groove

Goose : flops around on the bed demanding tummy rubs and making biscuits in the air while staring aggressively at me

Me: ok I guess it's time for bed now, huh?

#conri irl #oh my god #this cat #goose the cat #i guess I am going to bed now

It's only taken a year and a half, but I finally have my hearing scheduled!

#conri irl #disability things #ssdi #american medical system #disability hearing

I am still extremely tired…. I have a tank top pinned… but have no gumption to finish it even though it would take seconds.

I’m such a sleepy little guy….

I have my gastroenterologist appointment this week (FINALLY) so here is hoping that if it has something to do with my intestines/gut we can finally get that straightened out, or at least underway.

#conri irl #Conri.exe #ugh #so sleepy #all I have wanted to do the last two weeks (or more) is sleep #and it sucks #I have things to do #but my body just says nope

Puppy fever is MURDER right now.

#Conri.txt #conri irl #I am having a hard time #between Aegon turning 5 in a few weeks #housing stuff #disability stuff that thankfully my attorney is handling #but also physical illness shit #the price of gas meaning the shows I want to go to are impossible to get to even if they are only an hour away #because my one ride that I can count on is…. also unemployed right now #and mental illness rearing it’s ugly head #again #I had THE nightmare last night #the reacting dream that I have had since Aegon was a puppy #of him being silvered out and arthritic #and being in his favorite place as the vet does his thing #and just laying down next to him and stroking him as he goes #but usually I have a calming presence behind me #of the future Swissy at my back comforting me because they know I am sad #and the vet leaves and I sit with the body a while and cry into my giant #but last night there was no Swissy #and I have just had… bad thoughts all day #did I screw something up?#am I being paranoid?#have I just not heard from them because they’re busy with other stuff #and I’m already on the waitlist #and there is nothing to report on that end?#I get worried #esp with gas prices #and that being across the state #and my doctor being across the state

Stomach is still really up in the air… I’m hoping that it’s just anxiety since I am literally waiting to hear about;

1. Job

2. Apartment

3. This year’s litters.

I’m a mess right now with all the anxiety and stress and I am hoping I hear back on all of this soon.

My nerves feel like they’re shot tonight and I just want to curl up and cry into my penis plushy but I know that will make it worse.

Just… please just something go well.

#conri irl #text post #stress post #conri.stress/exe functions too well #conri.exe has stopped running #jobs #apartment #living conditions #breeder wait list #three years are up #puppy fever is killing me #seriously I couldn’t stop shaking earlier

Mom : [reading off a list of ingredients for a dill dip] bread crumbs (with a weird flourish)

Me : Bear Ed crumbs?

Mom : Bread crumbs (again with a weird flourish) shut up!

Me : bread CUMS!?!?

Mom : [laughter] I said shut up!

#Conri irl #this is my sense of humor #I will poke you

#conri irl

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#conri irl