please may I ask for Sonar on a date with transmasc reader, trying to be cool and interesting but kinda failing. at the end of the date, he messes something up or says something stupid due to nerves, it makes his date laugh so hard they snort and then cry, literally holding onto him until they get it out and ask for another date with a little kiss on his nose, like he literally fails his way into a perfect date because they think he's cute, funny, and smart.
sonar x ftm!reader
this is kinda a part 2 to the post i just did with dispatcher/content creator!reader, but this can be read as a standalone too!! :p
tags: sfw, fluff, some suggestive talk, basically the prompt, a little bit a banta, sonar is broke asf, alpha/omega (you'll see), reader is kinda an implied hoe but we love it
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for as confident of a guy as sonar tried to come off as, he was nearly crumbling at the mere thought of going on a date with you.
"take it easy," mal had assured him. "he asked you out first. he wouldn't be interested if he hadn't done that, right?"
"i don't need a pep-talk," sonar grumbled, most certainly needing one. "it'll be fine. i swept him off his feet before, i'll just... mend a hole in their clothes, or some shit, i dunno."
"just be a gentleman," malevola flicked him on the back of the head.
he swatted her away, slicking his fur back down. "i'm always a gentleman."
malevola snorted. that was about all she had to do to get her message across.
despite his insistence, sonar followed malevola's advice, which was how he wound up outside your place, clutching a bouquet of very, very sad flowers. when you opened the door, he forgot to say a word, immediately sticking them out at you and making you jump. it took all of his self-control to not stare at your deliberately low-buttoned shirt, top surgery scars peeking out from underneath and making him just so... so...
"... hi to you, too," you got out, giving him a quick once-over before taking the flowers into your hands. you gave him what almost seemed like a shy smile as you glanced at them, setting them on the counter.
he bared a toothy grin at you back, still forgetting to say a word. he leaned against the doorframe as you got the last of your things together, managing to get a peek into your living space. there, he saw it -- the same exact setup he'd memorized from obsessively binge-watching your entire setlist of videos.
"so, you some sort of gamer, or something?" he asked casually, checking out his nailbeds like nothing was amiss.
"ah, no. content creator," you clarified, sitting down on your couch to force some nice dressy shoes on.
"onlyfans?" he tilted his head.
"if i said yes, would you subscribe?" you countered, breaking into small snickers at his silence. "no, pervert. video essays. i look up controversial topics and give my two-cents on it."
"hmmm, interesting," he hummed out, stepping inside. he felt like his heart was about to explode out of his chest with how fast it was beating. he swatted your hands off of your shoes and took your heel into his hand, tying your shoes for you. "ever talk about, i dunno, crypto?"
you smirked at him despite your surprise. "you could say that."
he finished tying your shoe and offered a hand up, tucking it into his arm after you stood.
"well, aren't you just a dashing gentleman?" you commented with faux-adoration, putting your free hand to your heart. as exaggerated as it was, it still pulled a squeak from him, which made you both take a pause.
"... you said you'd pick the place?"
you picked out your run-of-the-mill nice restaurant on the other side of town. both you and sonar stuck out like sore appendages in the middle of the crowd, but when did either of you not stick out? you were busy browsing the menu, commenting to yourself about the ridiculous names for things.
meanwhile, sonar's knee jackhammered up and down at record speeds, his palms sweatier than any other part of his body, his fingers firmly clasped upon the table. he looked less like a guy who scored a hot date and more like a newbie salesman trying to seal a career-altering deal.
"so, content creator, huh?" he broke the silence awkwardly, his voice hoarse.
"yup," you drawled out, glancing up at him from over the menu. "gets me money on the side. and i also get to ragebait people by disagreeing with their opinions and calling them out on bullshit. it's a win-win."
"yeah, that's cool and all, but you wanna know who was the one behind some of the most successful investment frauds in history?" he asked, clicking his tongue as he jabbed a thumb towards himself. "this guy."
"... oh, wow, okay." you offered a polite smile. sonar wanted to get up and strangle himself.
"yeeahh-p, not easy doing the dirty work, but, hey, somebody's gotta get the money out of billionaire's pockets." he placed his hands behind his head, leaning back in his chair.
"don't those target the working class?"
"no, what? come on, i wouldn't--"
"the rich guys already have their money. i mean, why would they invest in another fake company when they have their own companies selling stocks?" you continued, fluttering your eyelashes at him. "don't worry, i get it. you're like robin hood."
oh, okay, he gets me.
"... if robin hood stole from everybody and hoarded the funds for himself and maybe his merry men," you finished.
damnit. sonar was not looking good here. he put the menu up to his face.
"well, christ on a stick, these things are fuckin' crazy," he commented with a disbelieving laugh. "are these the foods that, like, maybe give you a bite or two to eat?"
"more like half. that's just the desserts, though," you smiled softly, shaking your head at the abrupt topic change. "the meals themselves? now those are worth the price."
"you go to this nuthouse a lot?" he questioned.
"with whatever date i have at the time who pays, yeah." you glanced up at him briefly again.
"woah, now, i thought this was a free equal country where both people pay," sonar abruptly set the menu down, cocking a non-existent brow.
"oh? i thought you had enough cash from investment fraud and the stock market and your own crypto line to afford such things." you pouted your bottom lip. "unless... those aren't working out for you?"
don't say it. don't say you pulled out because of him... heh-heh, pulled out. sonar's hands left a damp mark on the tablecloth after he wiped them. "they're all working out perfectly fine for me, thanks for asking."
"you're so welcome," you blinked, rolling your eyes.
the rest of the date went... well, it depended on who you asked. for you, it was fine. you had some smiles, some chuckles. overall, sonar was easy to talk to... and make fun of, and he clearly just wanted to try his best for you. it was sweet, in a way.
to sonar? this was the worst date he'd ever been on. not because of you -- god, never because of you -- but because he felt like he'd fumbled the bag. here you were, sipping on wine, looking and sounding like the most delectable person on the planet... and he was practically vibrating in his seat. he kept slipping up and saying the "wrong" thing, and he was convinced you were mad at him by the end of the date.
"put it on my card," he slipped a card into the check, handing it back to the waiter with a smirk.
"... sir, this is a movie theater gift card?" the waiter replied, looking at it closer. "and... it appears to be expired."
sonar's ears were flat against his head, eyes wide. "uhhhhhhh... do you guys take bitcoin? dogecoin?"
the waiter narrowed his eyes, shaking his head.
"here, let me--" you began, quickly interrupted.
"no, hang on, i've got something somewhere," sonar blurted out, digging around in his wallet. he pulled out a crumpled up $20, slapping it on the table. "... shit. i think ricardo took my hundred."
"who's ricardo?" you asked, brows furrowed.
"my deal--" he remembered the water was still there, "-- maker guy. my deal maker guy. we work together in trades, and..."
you sighed, pulling out your own card and handing it to the waiter. "just take that. should be enough." the waiter thanked you, gave a judging look toward sonar, and left.
sonar was positively crumpled. he rubbed his face, trying to hide the disappointment on his features.
"can't believe you're the sugar daddy here. in my fantasy, i was the dominant alpha male, not the submissive omega," he whined, completely serious with all of the terminology he used.
you paused, processed what he said, and tried to hold in your laughter. a few snickers escaped, holding your breath tight, your face beginning to turn a shade warmer. sonar noticed, and as soon as you two made eye contact, you couldn't hold it in any longer. you barked out a laugh so loud it made your own ears hurt, your abdomen constricting as you let it all out. you were snorting, tears in your eyes, and you had to physically grab onto his arm to keep yourself from falling from your chair.
by the end of it, all the air was out of your lungs, the card was already back in your wallet without you realizing it, and sonar was utterly mystified.
"jesus... oh my..." you heaved, standing up slowly with him. "that was... god damnit, you nearly made me piss myself."
sonar had no idea what he said, but you were giggling even long after the fact. he walked you up to your door, still buzzing from the sudden turnaround in the mood.
you unlocked your door and turned to him, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his nose. "i had a really great time, thanks for uh, thanks for putting up with my bullshit and giving me a good night."
if he had the ability to be, sonar would've been a violent shade of red.
"would you... maybe wanna go on another date sometime?" you asked, hands behind your back as you rocked on your heels.
"yes." you hadn't even gotten the words out fully before he replied, clearing his throat. "yes, yeah. next week? details later?"
you nodded eagerly. he gave you a tender kiss on the lips, hand brushing over your chest, before leaving with a small wave and a little, "see you at the office."
you shut the door and looked over to the sad bouquet, sitting down at your desk with them. you thumbed over the petals, glancing over at your setup. a small, devilish idea popped into your head, and you turned your computer on. you opened your document maker and tapped on the keyboard, already getting started on the script for your next video:
dating a crypto guy: the pros and cons
