Episode seventy eight, Distant Cousin. You. Need. A door. 🚪
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Episode seventy eight, Distant Cousin. You. Need. A door. 🚪
MAG 78 “Distant Cousin” review:
I want to read the transcript so fucking had to understand what happened at that last part but I feel like that woudl be a spoiler. Fuck. Fuck! What just happened?!?!? It sounded like Sims got an axe and went to destroy the table. But that released something? Fuck! Fuck!!!!
I think from what Sim said, I think Not!Sasha was there. That could’ve been the voice I heard.
Mystery voice: *laughs* “That was very stupid.”
Sims: what do you want?
MV: “there’s no other way out of this room you know?”
Sims: what?
MV: “you don’t have time to escape before they get here.”
Sims: no, the table was—
MV: “was binding it quite effectively.”
Sims: oh.
MV: “Even with all the protections you have here, I doubt you can survive them now.”
Mysterious Voices: “joohhhhnnnnn”
MV: “you. Need. A door.”
Sims(hyperventilating): no, no I just need to
Souls of the damned: “JOOHHHNNNNNNNN”
Sims: shit!
MV: *laughs that repeats like a tape at the end*
Olay was this Not!Sasha? I have no fucking clue. Rating be damned I’m listening to the next episode. The only thing I have left to say is:
SSIIIIIIIIIMMMSSSSSSS YOUUUUUUUUUUUU DUMBASSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Statement ends.
Mag 078 Distant Cousin
Is this another statement on the NotThem? Very curious.
I really do hope Jon finds the missing tapes with Sasha’s voice on them soon.
Redemption Round 3 - Match 29
Creature Feature vs. Distant Cousin
Creature Feature
Distant Cousin
We've got some creatures today! Creature Feature comes with 153 Redemption votes, and is up against a very different kind of creature in Distant Cousin, with 132 votes from last round!
MAG 110 - Creature Feature | Spotify - Acast - YT | Wiki | Transcript
Statement of Alexia Crawley, regarding her time working as a cinematographer on Dexter Banks' final film.
MAG 078 - Distant Cousin | Spotify - Acast - YT | Wiki | Transcript
Statement of Lawrence Moore, regarding something that was not his cousin.
OH SHIT BAD MOVE WHAT HAPPENS NOW IT ISN’T BEING BOUND????
78- distant cousin
Jon? U good?
Oh.
Oh ya. Meeting people who you knew as a kid is so weird. Me and my best friend from elementary school bumped into each other a while back and it was the oddest thing. Both of us trying to talk to a younger version of the other and pretending to be that person in turn. We haven't tried to talk again since.
Oh hey is this the same guy from grifters bone? The old black guy who randomly warned the statement giver?
Adelard decker. Have I heard that name before?
A big box?
Oh is this the sailor guy? Or wait no that was Salesa. Who is this guy? He's got a similar box.
Agh no don't leave! You'll mess it up!
The web! So is decker related to the web? Or to the claustrophobia box?
The spooky delivery people!
Oh! Ok so the table is related to the web and the not-them is related to the stranger! Ook. That makes sense now.
Ok so, Ya the thing is tied to the table. So just get rid of the table. Throw it out in the middle of nowhere or something. Where no one will ever find it.
Oh gosh, him clicking the tape on and off cause he knows what's coming and doesn't want to hear it.
Akdjkd he skipped past her scream ;-;
Jon. Maybe come up with a better lie than "I'm sick so you guys have to stay home." Just find the next holiday or give everyone a long weekend for doing good or as an apology for stalking them.
Ok, he's kind of taking the apology route. Good. Oh, he's apologizing to Tim! Good good.
Oh no. I think Tim's seen through it. He knows jons lying and thinks he's lying about the apology too I think.
Martin's so confused lol.
"I'm not losing anyone else." I mean... Fair, but you could still tell them. You're more likely to kill it with back up and if you fail what do you think will happen to them? I'd say you risk more people dying by doing it alone than by getting their help. Besides you don't really know HOW to kill it yet, they could help you research and make a plan even if you don't want them physically there when it's killed.
Ok, Jon. So you're just going straight for it then?
"I don't know if destroying this is going to kill that thing" um, Ya maybe do some more research first? That might release it? Or make the web angry with you at least?
...i guess it might hurt it? But still, ur being very reckless rn jon. Tho I guess that's a reasonable reaction he is very stressed. And it's not like he knows it's two different entities?
Micheal??? Static laugh! Micheal!!!! Akgfdowhskdjdkdhsksb my boy!!! He's herehsehsbskshskdbsksj!!!!
"That was very stupid" oh dear.
"That was binding it quite effectively" ya..... Um. Not gonna say I told you so but...
"All the protections you have" what's that supposed to mean? The archives?
Ohshieksjdkdndkd she's coming for you jon!
Aahhhhejejsksbdfuckthatvoicethatsthecreepiesthignsksbdkdjdk
"SHIT!" he did a swear! Has he done a swear before?
Micheal's laugh 💕
;-; ahhhhhh this is so intense im listening to like two seconds at a time then pausing cause ahhhhhhhhhhhh
Don't go through the door! But also maybe do? Ahhhhhhhhhhgg
AHHGHHHGGGGGHHHHHHHH YOU CANT END THE EPISODE THERE!!!!! AHHHH!! I CAN IMMEDIATELY GO TO THE NEXT ONE AND IM STILL DYING OVER IT!!
Gosh, the way her voice split like that though. That is I think the creepiest sound effect I've ever heard.
Round One Part Eight - Match 64
MAG 084 Possessive vs. MAG 078 Distant Cousin
Possessive
Distant Cousin
Once again, I am a Not!Them stan first and a human being second.
MAG 084 - Possessive | Spotify - Acast - YT | Wiki | Transcript
Statement of Adrian Weiss, regarding a childhood friend.
MAG 078 - Distant Cousin | Spotify - Acast - YT | Wiki | Transcript
Statement of Lawrence Moore, regarding something that was not his cousin.
Round Two Part Eight Masterpost
Round Two Part Eight will be open for voting April 27-May 4, noon to noon (EST)!
MAG 119 Stranger and Stranger vs. MAG 78 Distant Cousin
MAG 103 Cruelty Free vs. MAG 110 Creature Feature
MAG 82 The Eyewitnesses vs. MAG 7 The Piper
MAG 22 Colony vs. MAG 63 The End of the Tunnel
MAG 101 Another Twist vs. MAG 85 Upon the Stair
MAG 147 Weaver vs. MAG 114 Cracked Foundation
MAG 79 Hide and Seek vs. MAG 197 Connected
MAG 26 A Distortion vs. MAG 165 Revolutions