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She Talks to Angels...and rugs. #blackcrows #singlemom #singleparenting #fleamarket #energy #energyhealing #kids #thepleasureprincipal #divdesignagency #dignity #integrity #veritas #verity #seattle https://www.instagram.com/p/B4IU0Kog_A4/?igshid=1r25jkssk03n0
Subjective well-being is the term I use instead of happiness to describe a person’s desire to change. People don’t often desire change unless they feel some unhappiness, but the pursuit of happiness can be confused with hedonism, and hedonism alone externalizes a person’s feeling of contentment or ups the ante when it comes to what a person “needs” to feel “good.” I challenge my clients to identify their wants and differentiate them from needs, to look not just to thrills or pleasure but also to altruism and helping behaviors to give meaning to their lives. The research shows that it is not an austere life nor is it a hedonistic life that brings lasting satisfaction, but novelty and curiosity that can be found in a balance of both eudaemonism and hedonism. To that end, I encourage you to make a list and begin to discover what brings you not only joy, but also satisfaction and meaning... What do you look forward to? Who or what motivates you? What does your job do for you? Does it give you challenge and a good income? Does it allow you the freedom to self-determine other areas of your life? In what areas do you have agency—not just the ability, but also the determination and motivation— to make rational-to-you free choice to further your goals and have autonomy? Look at your relationships. Do you experience a kind of contentment or ease within them, or are they fraught with conflict or obligation? Can they be improved with more self-knowing and understanding? Can they be improved with better knowing of the Other? Stay tuned for more on subjective we’ll-being. The D-I-V Design Agency Mediation & Family Advocacy divdesignagency.com The Pleasure Principal Intimacy in Conflict & Sex thepleasureprincipal.org #subjectivewell-being #happiness #joy #eudaemonism #hedonism #dignity #integrity #veritas #thepleasureprincipal #divdesignagency #values #PERMA #PERMA-H #yoga #niyama #yama #nondualistictantra #tantra https://www.instagram.com/p/BwSXarZH91q/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=coetlj6qwv39
When you’re a single mom, it’s important to understand the infinite energy exchange that occurs between you and your kids—especially when you make THEM a little bonkers. #singleparent #singlemom #parenting #thepleasureprincipal #divdesignagency #dignity #integrity #verity #veritas https://www.instagram.com/p/B4IUFi4gGDe/?igshid=14ue52m42cxom
Sunday morning coming down. #singlemom #seattle #parenting #thepleasureprincipal #divdesignagency #children #dignity #integrity #verity #veritas https://www.instagram.com/p/B4IQwz0AgQl/?igshid=1t4ibyt9wx0tu
We get into our own way in a variety of ways. One way I do it is by becoming attached to Outcome. I want to control. I want to know the answers and I want to be safe. Over the course of the past five years, I have been in a metaphorical savasana—corpse pose. One thing I know certainly is that there cannot be life without death and then rebirth. When I am running around, stressed, thinking that everything matters and I must control it, I become constructed by my notion that somehow I can cheat death. No one can. And not just the final death of this lifespan, but the little deaths that come even in the span of a lifetime—relationships ending or changing, people moving, parents dying, children leaving the nest. Our view of these things can be the singular most powerful thing that changes the event. Sometimes Narrative drives our wellness or un-wellness. So what are you aspiring to in your life? Do you have space for Being, or is your life path about Becoming? What gets in YOUR way? How do YOU get in your own way? #integrity #dignity #being #becoming #divdesignagency #thepleasureprincipal #source #life #goals #behavior #yama #niyama #yoga #balance #harmony @www.thepleasureprincipal.org. @www.divdesignagency.com https://www.instagram.com/p/BvhPIU8HIB9/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1o0u2hiug1tsq
It’s spring, and my calls from men wanting to have better success with women are way up. My calls from women are almost exclusively in the realm of how to get a guy to like them when they are GGG and didn’t play any “rules” games regarding sex. Here’s the deal: Women, say what you really want, and do not sidestep it or diminish it. Your sexual liberation is not going to air a nosedive if you do say what you really want. It will simply become more attuned to dishonest signaling, including your own. In the sex binary, men and women are not likely to get what they want in any of the three behavioral systems related to sex, relationship, or caregiving unless they understand proximate and ultimate explanations for sexual signaling. #integrity #dignity #veritas #verità #divdesignagency #thepleasureprincipal #sexuality #womenempowerment #mate #yinyang #masculine #feminism #sexualsignaling #gametheory #humanbehavior #behavior https://www.instagram.com/p/BvOSXzcnrFZ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=y50fuqtyo8i5
Trauma-informed is the word of the era. Equity and justice are, too. In the Tragedy of the Commons, the ground was oversown and there was no more harvest to be had. The Law provided for the rules and the Church, or what we might now call Spirit or a Collective Consciousness, was called on for the equity side of how to use land. This is not a new dialogue, but certainly a modern re-frame. People are not land, though, and dividing wealth of courtesies and civilized treatment based on skin color and heritage is archaic and diabolical. Why is it that we are STILL having this conversation in 2019 about WHO is human and WHO is not? About who has MORE right to life than someone else and who has more rights to quiet enjoyment or worship than others? White Nationalism is fear- and ignorance-based. It deserves no moral discussion. It is baseless in its premise. #dignity #integrity #veritas #verità #divdesignagency #thepleasureprincipal www.thepleasureprincipal.org www.divdesignagency.com https://www.instagram.com/p/BvHtULTHgvc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=e0jm2ej3q8vx
In my practice, I see people who often have a lot of CONFLICT going on, whether it is with a couple who is discerning divorce or a young man concerned about how much he auto-pleasures. We have all heard about boundaries. Yes, boundaries are the key to loving self, but grace allows us to make choices about our boundaries instead of having a strictly defined, and therefore mindless, protocol for defending our boundaries. I don’t believe we are actually doing boundaries well when we leave no room for grace, and it seems that we are actually still@wrapped in old habit and old@thought when we refuse to be open and frank about our boundaries and our awareness of how we shift. That is all to say: I don’t charge a fee or a fine the first time a client needs to change something with less than 48 hours notice. I may not@charge it the second time either. Honestly, people who have sought out any service I provide is going trough a metamorphosis, and I am going to applaud that. So when life has that client struggling to get out of bed, and I am in my Wise Woman mind, I can see what is happening and can call this what it is: a person doing the best that they can in that moment. There is no need for me to make up any story about respect or boundaries or power plays. If that is what’s at stake, we’ll all figure that out soon enough. For now, Grace is the answer. Grace is usually the answer when we are in Wise Mind, Mindful practice, and equanimity. #dignity #integrity #verità #thepleasureprincipal #divdesignagency #grace #equanimity #neuroscience #nlp https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu3_AOGHEXu/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1a97yn9zwogg9
