My Year of No
I recently read the book the Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. In it, the high-powered Hollywood producer said yes to everything for one full year. She said yes to keynoting commencement speeches, yes to accepting help, yes to dating and yes to things that scared her.
After writing yesterday’s post on the frustrations of online dating and some contemplation, I decided today is going to be the beginning of My Year of No. More specifically, my year of no dating.
As someone with an addictive personality who does everything at full-throttle, I wanted to quickly speed through this god awful healing process -- to quickly numb the pain. Since my big drinking days are behind me, the other way I could do this was by seeking out the affections of someone new (in my most recent case, my hot, funny, talented ski instructor with a British Accent). It worked - temporarily, but when things ended, the pain and self-loathing compounded, leaving me in worse shape than before.
Here’s the thing. When I meet my next serious partner, I want to be as happy and healed as possible. I need to finish tending to the wounds of my last relationships and I need to explore why I said yes to these relationships when I knew they were not in my best interest. I also need to find out who I am and what it is I want for myself and I figure the fewer distractions the better.
My Year of No means no dating, no crushing, no flirting, no exchanging phone numbers. I have no idea how hard this will be - I will keep myself honest by posting periodic updates here and on my other social media pages. I will look to my friends to keep me accountable, as well.
Wish me luck!
