#do au

[detective-objective]

Petra’s concept design! this is just a concept, so keep in mind that character designs may change in the future!

[kpopfanfictrash]

Consider Me Yours (M)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Kyungsoo

Rating: 18+ (smut)

Word Count: 3,334

Summary:  You and Kyungsoo are just friends. At first. (reader first time!AU / friends to lovers!AU)

“I’m bored,” you whine, sipping loudly from your strawberry juice box.

Kyungsoo doesn’t respond, fingers moving silently over his gaming controls.

“Soo,” you say.

Nothing.

“Kyungsoo.”

Still nothing. You wriggle closer, flipping your legs over to press your bare feet against his armrest. “Soo,” you whisper, almost in his ear.

“Stop trying to distract me.”

You pout, falling back against the sofa. “Why did I even come over if you’re just going to play video games all day?”

“I didn’t actually invite you,” Kyungsoo points out, still not looking at you. “You invited yourself and when I said I was playing video games, said it sounded fun and you’d be over in ten minutes.”

“Well. That was before I knew how boring this would be. Watching you play is very boring,” you inform. In case he didn’t know.

Kyungsoo snorts. “I could have told you that.”

You allow him to play for several more minutes. “So,” you sigh. “What’s this game about?”

“You see those guys in the black suits?” Kyungsoo nods at the TV.

“Yeah.”

“Kill them.”

“How academic.” You squint at his game. “You’re not doing a very good job though, are you?”

On screen, something large explodes. Music chimes from the speakers as the screen goes black, the words Game Over flashing in red. Kyungsoo turns to slowly stare at you.

“Whoops,” you respond, taking another long sip.

“Y/N,” Kyungsoo complains, pushing a hand through messy hair. “I said don’t distract me.”

“How am I distracting you?” you protest. “I’m a meek little lamb.”

Kyungsoo looks pointedly at your legs draped in his lap. “Well this, for one.”

“Oh, please. We’re best friends. This comes with the territory.”

“Actually, Jongin is my best friend,” Kyungsoo corrects.

“Jongin, pfft,” you scoff. “Did you call Jongin when you were accepted into college? Or when you had your first kiss with Lindsay Meyers back in the eighth grade? Or when your parents were getting divorced – whose shoulder did you cry on?”

Kyungsoo’s cheeks turn bright red. “Hey,” he complains. “That was private.”

“Not best friends, my ass,” you grumble, setting your now-empty juice box down on his coffee table.

He looks skyward. “Fine,” Kyungsoo admits. “We’re the best of friends. I’ll braid friendship bracelets for us in the morning.”

You choose to ignore this sarcasm. “So now that you’re done with your game.” Kyungsoo glares at your peppiness. “College is in just one month.”

“So? What about it?”  As he fiddles with the controller, Kyungoo’s hand inadvertently brushes your knee. You ignore the electricity that shoots down your spine at his touch.

“Aren’t you nervous?” you press.

“About what?”

“I don’t know,” you mumble, shrugging. “Going away. Living with new people. I’m nervous.”

Kyungsoo lets out a laugh. “C’mon. What could you possibly be nervous about?”

“Lots of stuff!” You sit up straighter. “What if people don’t like me? What if I can’t make new friends? What if no one takes me seriously,” you huff, hitting Kyungsoo with a throw pillow. “C’mon!”

“I’m sorry,” he laughs, holding up both hands. “But seriously. No one liking you? That’s crazy. Let’s not forget that you’re the popular one and I’m the hermit.”

“The only thing hermit about you is that you’re crabby,” you grin, wriggling your eyebrows and watching Kyungsoo struggle not to laugh.

“Ah,” he groans. “I hate laughing at your jokes. It just reinforces bad behavior.”

“Take comfort in the knowledge that, reaction or not, I will continue to make bad puns.”

“Strangely, that’s not comforting in the slightest.”

You laugh, tilting your head against the couch. “I’m being serious, Soo.”

He turns to face you, his dark eyes comforting in the dimness of his basement. Being with Kyungsoo is always comforting; as natural as breathing, as easy as air. Just having him look this way is enough to ease some of the tension from your body. “Thanks,” you murmur, though he’s actually said nothing.

A smile creases his lips. “You’ll be fine, Y/N. Besides – my college is only a few hours away. If you need anything, I’ll be there.”

You nod. “I guess.” Silence falls, the lengthy kind which occurs when you’re deciding what to say next.

Kyungsoo watches you carefully. “What?” 

Sometimes, he knows you better than you know yourself. “Have you ever?” you start to say, then stop. Heat creeps up the back of your neck. “Nope, never mind. It’s too embarrassing,” you finish, swinging your legs from his lap to stand.

“Too embarrassing?” Kyungsoo’s eyebrows rise, disappearing almost into his hairline. “This, coming from the girl who fell down the bleachers at the Homecoming game.”

“I would gladly fall five more times if you would forget I said anything,” you say sweetly, picking your juice box up from the table.

“Oh no you don’t,” Kyungsoo grins, gaze following you as you pull his trash can over. “You’re not getting off that easy. Tell me.”

“No.”

“Tell me.”

“No.” Your cheeks feel on fire. “It’s too embarrassing!”

“But, I thought we were best friends?” Kyungsoo blinks innocently up at you, struggling to hold in his laughter. When he sees your expression, he grows more serious. “Come on, I won’t judge.”

You plop down on the corner of the couch, drawing your knees into your chest. Purposefully avoiding his gaze, you mumble, “You know what I worry about the most?” Some of your hair falls into your face. “The fact that I’m heading to college a virgin.”

Kyungsoo freezes. You see this, from the corner of your eye. “Uh. Why – uh, why would that worry you?”

You would be amused by his awkwardness, but you’re feeling pretty awkward yourself right now.

“I guess… I feel like most people have done it already?” The words are rushed, more high-pitched than normal. “I just want it to be special, you know?” you add, glancing at Kyungsoo, who is staring back at you with an unreadable expression. “I’m worried I’ll get drunk and go home with someone,” you sigh. “But it just wouldn’t be right, you know?”

Swallowing hard, Kyungsoo looks at his hands before speaking. “Yeah. I know.”

“You’re not a virgin… right?”

For how close the two of you are, anything in the department of romance has always been kind of a black hole. Kyungsoo doesn’t ask and you don’t tell – and vice versa. You guys figured out this unspoken rule around the ninth grade, back when you both began dating in earnest.

Somehow, every conversation about girlfriends or boyfriends ended in a fight. You thought every girl he liked was shallow and he thought every guy you went out with was an idiot. Eventually, you both just decided to keep your dating lives separate.

Kyungsoo’s face is beet red while answering. “No.”

You nod, your suspicions confirmed. “See, everyone is more experienced than I am.”

Kyungsoo laughs, though the sound of it is hollow. “Well I don’t know about that.”

Fiddling with his blanket, you run your fingers through the fringe. You have thought several times before, you could always lose your virginity to Kyungsoo. It wouldn’t be scary, just one friend doing the other a favor. It would be a way to get rid of the pain before meeting the actual guy you wanted to have sex with. Kyungsoo and you are best friends. He’s been there for all your other firsts – why not this one?

Fuck, you aren’t sure when you started thinking about this so much. The thought makes you laugh, a giggle escaping before you can clap your hand over your mouth.

“What?” Kyungsoo frowns. “Why are you laughing?”

“It’s just,” you snort, shaking your head. “I just had this thought, what if we had sex? Which is so completely ridiculous. I’m sorry – forget I even said anything.”

Kyungsoo watches your face and for once, he is not the one blushing. “Why is that so ridiculous?”

You stop laughing. His face is serious, intense. “Well… because,” you respond, suddenly at a loss.

“Because why?” He tilts his head.

“Because!” you blurt, pushing upright. “It’s you… and me. I mean, do you even find me attractive?”

“Yes.” 

Kyungsoo has always been direct – alarmingly so.

You stare back. “Well. Okay, then.”

The truth is, you have always found Kyungsoo attractive as well. You just never said anything to him because… well, it’s Kyungsoo. You’ve seen him at his worst, at his lowest points and dating never seemed like something he was interested in… ergo, you never put yourself out there.

Better to avoid that whole thing entirely than to risk being rejected by him. Better never know at all, than to lose him. You couldn’t risk losing him, when Kyungsoo was all you’ve ever had. Not when he was all you’d ever wanted.

You stare back at him from across the length of his the couch.

Kyungsoo shifts. It is only an inch – a fraction of the space between you – but it might as well be a mile. You take an unsteady breath.

“You thought about having sex with me?” Kyungsoo sounds more curious than anything else.

“Well, yeah,” you babble. “I mean, we’re best friends. It wouldn’t be uncomfortable. It would be… well, it wouldn’t be scary.”

“Hmm.”

Kyungsoo slides forward until he’s beside you. His knee brushes yours and you fight back an answering shiver. This is the moment you realize you were wrong. You were wrong, thinking this would be no big deal. This, right here, is terrifying.

“Wait,” you whisper, when his lips are a hair’s breadth from yours. “Are we really doing to do this?”

Lifting a hand, Kyungsoo brushes a thumb over your lower lip. “Only if you want to,” he murmurs.

When he looks at you like that, there is such naked longing in his gaze, it fairly takes your breath away. Suddenly, it occurs to you that Kyungsoo might want this just as much as – or more than – you.

Resolved, you shift so that you’re facing him fully. “Yes,” you breathe. “I want this.”

There is nothing for you to worry about. This is just sex, nothing more. This is just two people doing each other a favor. Kyungsoo finds you attractive and you want to lose your virginity.

And then your lips touch.

His mouth stifles your gasp, his fingertips curling into your hair and pulling you against him. His lips are soft – achingly so. It makes your own part beneath his, welcoming him into your mouth. Kyungsoo pushes you back on the couch, his body warm between your legs.

Your heart beats faster. He – this – is not how you thought it would be. You thought it would be awkward. You thought there would be a lot of eye rolling and reluctant touching until eventually the deed was done. You didn’t think that the touch of his lips, the feel of his hands on your body would elicit these kinds of sensations.

His hands trail fire in their wake, sliding down your sides to pull you against him. You respond just as eagerly, wrapping your body around his. A small moan falls from your lips when he pulls back, breathless. Kyungsoo’s hair is mussed – you don’t remember doing that – and his lips are now red.

“Y/N,” he sighs, in a voice so ragged you barely recognize it.

You pull him back to you, needing his lips on yours. Kyungsoo makes a noise, one of impatience and his fingers dig into the hem of your skirt. You raise your hips higher, giving him access.

When he breaks apart to skim your neck, kiss your chest, you moan. Kyungsoo suddenly looks up. “Are you sure?” he pants. “Once we – if I,” he swallows. “It won’t be the same between us.”

You nod your head. “I want this,” you say, brazen in your need for him.

Lifting your arms, you allow Kyungsoo to slide your blouse up and over your head. He resumes kissing and somehow, your head is spinning. You can barely concentrate on what is happening, too focused are you on the fact that this is Kyungsoo you’re kissing, Kyunsoo running his hands over your body, Kyungsoo making your back arch into the seat, Kyungsoo making you moan with desire.

And somehow, it all makes sense. His body fits, meshes with yours in a way that none of the other guys did. It’s as though he’s meant to be there. What you thought would be awkward feels… oh, god. It feels like you two should have been doing this the entire time.

By this point, your skirt is around your waist, his shirt off and lying pooled on the floor. You take in his torso and swallow, unfocused. Kyungsoo is staring at you, just as amazed before he bends to press his lips to yours. Pulling your leg around his waist, he presses his lower half against yours.

A jolt of pleasure shoots down your body, settling in your core. “Soo,” you breathe.

“Yes, babe?”

He never calls you that. A thrill goes down your spine, realizing you like it. “I know I said I wasn’t scared,” you flounder. “But…”

His eyes find yours in the dimness. The depth within them is quiet, reassuring. “I promise I’ll be gentle,” he says. Kyungsoo swallows. “You know we don’t have to do this.”

You shake your head. “I want this … and I want this to happen with you. You know how I said that things wouldn’t be right, if I went home with a random guy?” When he nods, you continue, “I really meant that it wouldn’t be right… without you.”

At this, his eyes widen and suddenly your mouths are one again, his tongue insistent while his fingers find the buttons on your skirt. Kyungsoo removes this in an instant, thrown to the side alongside your blouse. You sit below him, suddenly naked except for your underwear, pressed close and yearning for more.

You tug at his jeans, forcing them off of his body. Kyungsoo bends his head, kissing lines down your chest while removing your bra. His lips, his tongue flick over your body, drawing gasping breaths from your aching throat. That is, until he finds the line of your underwear.

He looks up from between your legs, his fingers splaying you before him. “Relax,” he murmurs, right before a finger slides beneath your panties. Pulling them downwards, his tongue ghosts over your sex and you stifle a moan, eyes fluttering shut. You have done this before but Kyungsoo is better at it. Much better, in fact. His touch is at once both gentle and teasing, coaxing shudders from your body.

You barely know what you’re doing, arching against him, pressing him ever closer to something. His tongue begins to draw circles, faster and tighter and then he pulls back, hovering right before you come. Your eyes fly open, about to scold when you see his arched brow and remember what you actually want.

“Oh,” you gasp, trying to hide the smile from your face.

Kyungsoo chuckles. “Last chance,” he confirms, lips traveling over your jawline, down the length of your neck.

“Please,” you sigh, bringing your arms up around his neck. Kyungsoo smiles, allowing you to tug his boxers down. His member springs up and your eyes widen. “Ah,” you blurt, which is all you can think of to say.

He reaches down, pulling a condom from his jeans pocket. When you take this from his hand, you scoot closer on the couch to open the foil packet. Before rolling it on, you allow your thumbs to wander his body, brushing over his hip bones, curving into the hollows and watching him hold his breath. Only then, do you touch him, sliding one hand over his member while his jaw clenches shut, gaze hardened. You roll the condom onto him.

Instead of trying to push inside you right away, Kyungsoo lowers you back on the sofa to continue his gentle exploration. His fingers slide over you, teasing while you quiver beneath him. He traces patterns until you’re panting, gasping against the touch of his hand. You pull him closer to you, grinding your hips against his fully erect cock.

“Please,” you whimper. “Soo. I need you.”

Only then, does he position himself at your entrance, teasing just a little bit more before pushing inside. The first thrust is only an inch, before he stops. You take a deep breath, feeling him hard against you. Wrapping your legs tighter, you mirror this stance with your arms.

Kyungsoo presses a light kiss to your lips. “Tell me if it hurts,” he insists, before pushing in a little bit farther.

You make a small noise; one that’s more of surprise, than of pain. It does hurt, more than you thought it would and suddenly, you are very glad this is with Kyungsoo. He is so gentle throughout, so tender with your needs. His hands continue to coast over your body, stroking the crux of your sex. He makes you shift your hips forward, taking a little bit more of him inside you.

Slowly, inch by inch, he enters. You bury your face in his shoulder, holding onto him as he fills you. At last, Kyungsoo pauses, giving one final thrust which makes you cry out. That one really did hurt but now he’s there. You feel sore, slightly tender but Kyungsoo doesn’t move. Instead, he just stays there, holding you to him while you grow accustomed to the feel.

The feel of Do Kyungsoo, your best friend, inside you. You look up.

“What?” he whispers, staring back.

“I just…” you whisper, suddenly overwhelmed. “I’m very glad it’s you.”

With a smile, Kyungsoo presses another kiss to your lips. And then, you accidentally lift your hips, shifting beneath him. He groans, clutching your leg closer before pulling back out and sinking very slowly into you again. This time is not like the first. This time, it feels … good.

He does the same motion again.

Oh, fuck.

Sensing your change of mood, Kyungsoo begins to move faster. He pulls you closer, moving at a speed which catches you unawares. What began as painful is still tender, but in the best way possible. You can feel the entire length of him inside you, filling you over and over, making you whole.

He hits the back of your walls every time, lips moving in a gentle imitation of his hips. Your body tightens around him, tensing while his hands continue to tease. You have never come with a guy before. Kyungsoo seems determined to change that fact, his mouth sliding down your neck to suck while his hips continue their motion.

You gasp, clenching tightly around him when your own orgasm shudders through you. You come apart underneath him, moaning his name. Kyungsoo follows after, filling the condom inside you and after a few seconds inside, he falls on his back, pulling you with him. Cleaning both of you up, he leans over to drop the Kleenex into the trash can and gather you into him.

Pulling the blanket over you both, he presses a kiss to your forehead. “What are you thinking?”

You laugh, a low chuckle in your chest. “I’m thinking … about how stupid I am,” you admit, closing your eyes.

Against him, you feel his chest tense. “Oh really?”

Nodding, you trail a finger down his arm. “I’m stupid, for not realizing that I definitely don’t see you as a friend.”

Kyungsoo laughs, the sound gentle. He waits until you look at him. “Then I guess we’re both stupid,” he admits, arms tightening. “Since I knew, but didn’t tell you.”

“Equally stupid. What a start.”

“So this is a start?” he asks, a small smile playing on his lips.

You raise an eyebrow. “Put it this way. If you think you’re going to show me that and then disappear, you’ve got another think coming.”

Kyungsoo laughs breathily, his chest rising and falling. “Feel free to consider me yours, Y/N. Always have been.”

© kpopfanfictrash, 2016. Do not copy or repost without permission.

[haveanotherkpopblog]

Do Kyungsoo as Mercucito

“Men's eyes were made to look, and let them gaze;

I will not budge for no man's pleasure, I.”

[butt-touchin]

color aesthetics: kyungsoo // peach

[jiminies-ahmee]

SONG SCENARIO: DO KYUNGSOO

Requested by @kyungiebaby, I didn’t really like how this turned out, so I’ll do a part two xx 

Details: Based on Ariana Grande’s ‘R.E.M’ 

“Last night, boy, I met you. When I was asleep.” 

Sharp eyes holding brown orbs, the colour of fine chocolate, watched you intently. Plump lips – almost pillow-like curved upwards into the shape of a heart, the most endearing of smiles. You weren’t entirely sure when it had started exactly, perhaps it was after you’d started daydreaming about him. Nevertheless, these features were scribbled onto the pages of countless books and textbooks during lectures. And now, here they were in front of you, at arm’s length. It seemed too good to be true, too dream-like. 

“You’re such a dream to me.” 

Your shaky hand reached to touch his cheek and gently caress the skin, “Is this real?” You whispered. A chuckle, almost equivalent to that of honey’s sweetness slipped past his lips before he placed his warm hand over yours. 

“If you can believe.” 

In a rushed manner, you moved your hand over his lips, “Before you speak, don’t move, ‘cos I don’t want to wake up.” 

At your words, he let out yet another chuckle, “I love you, Y/N.” He leaned into your body, his feather-like lips rushing against your forehead. Filled with utter and complete bliss, you closed your eyes and opened them to find yourself alone. 

You were met with the bleak, white ceiling of your dorm, your ears met with the usual hum and bustle of yet another morning of college. With eyes squeezed shut, you hoped to fall once more into the sweet, sweet land of dreams, but life did not seem to be on your side. Your face contorted in annoyance before kicking the covers aside. Though you were sure you’d returned to reality, your body felt as if it were floating on a cloud, your mind still filled with the beautiful face of the stranger in your literature class. 

Of course, you knew far too much about the man for him to be a stranger. You knew his name was Kyungsoo, that he loved writing and reading and that he preferred romance over mystery novels. He almost felt like a friend to you, always returning your awkward and bashful smiles with his gorgeous one. 

“You’re such a dream to me.” You sighed, pouting at the feeling of self-pity running through your veins. You wondered how you were able to get through 24 hours with the man of your dreams forever stuck in your head. You’d become a full-time daydreamer in your 3rd year of college. A full-time high school girl with a pathetic and hopeless crush on a person who didn’t even know her name. 

If only you knew… 

Your class for literature was being held in the afternoon of the summer day. The blue sky and slight breeze between the leaves seemed all too familiar to you – it was as if you’d been lived this moment before. Shaking your head at the thought, you held your books close to your chest as you made your way to the lecture hall. In all honesty, literature hadn’t really been a favourite of yours until Do Kyungsoo had joined your class. From what you’d heard, he’d moved from a major in music to literature. It made you wonder what sort of instrument he played then. You thought piano, but you never had the courage to ask for confirmation. 

As you approached the class, you drew in a deep breath, preparing yourself for what was to come. You’d made a pact with yourself (after having such a vivid dream) that you should try to avoid Kyungsoo. Whatever the hell that you’d envisioned in your sleep the night before couldn’t possibly be true – nor could it become a reality. 

You wanted to laugh at yourself for even thinking about the possibility of dating Kyungsoo. You could see it in the hungry eyes of the other girls (and sometimes boys) in your class: Kyungsoo had stolen the heart of everyone. Including you. 

You kept your gaze down as you entered the lecture hall, choosing to sit towards the back in hopes you’d be left to your own demise. As you settled in your seat and organised your notebook, you heard the approach of footsteps which you decided it best to ignore. If you can’t see them, they can’t see you… Right? 

Wrong. Only a few seats to your right sat an intrigued Do Kyungsoo. Yes, your infatuation with the quiet, yet seemingly kind man had been made a point of, but little did you know Kyungsoo knew a little bit about you too. 

Realising you had not yet seen him, he awkwardly cleared his throat, his eyes glancing your way in hopes you’d look over. You did not. He chewed on his bottom lip, eyes focused on his clean page, while his mind drifted off into space. Perhaps he was simply overreacting; you held nothing against Kyungsoo and he was quite sure of that, so maybe you weren’t as talkative as he’d thought. He looked your way once more before letting out a soft, “Hey”, in your direction. 

Startled by the sudden, but gentle greeting, you looked to your right. Do Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo. 

“M-Me?” You stuttered, attempting to close your notebook filled with secret sketches of the man sitting right beside you this very moment. 

“Yeah, Y/N right?” You nodded, “Hi,” He giggled, “I never properly introduced myself. I’m Kyungsoo.” He paused to glance at the empty seat that acted as a barricade between the both of you. It was almost like your personal bubble – your space. “Do you mind if I sit there?” He asked. 

“No, of course not!” You choked out. You felt as if your heart was flipping over and over again at the speed of lightning. You wished you could pause this moment in time to make yourself look a little more presentable, but unfortunately that sort of technology was yet to be created. 

“I read your poem from class the other day and it’s really beautiful. I actually haven’t been able to get it out of my head.” He laughed, “Your partner must be a very special person for you to think of them in such a way.” 

Your heart stopped. Your partner?! 

“O-Oh, no. I, uh, don’t have a partner.” You whispered as the lights in the room dimmed and the lecture began. Its entirety was spent looking straight at the lecturer and fighting back the urge to turn to Kyungsoo who you could feel glancing at your every few or so minutes. Though it seemed you were engrossed in the lesson for the day, you were really trying to plan your escape route. Luckily, you’d chosen the end seat of your row, so dashing out of the room once the lecture finished would be a piece of cake. 

It would have been if it weren’t for Park Chanyeol.

As you managed to gather your things in a split second and run towards the door, your crashed into the toned chest of the giant-like man. He apologised profusely, his arms gripping your shoulders gently as he bent down to check if you were okay. You most certainly weren’t okay, for by the time Chanyeol had picked up your things, Kyungsoo was by your side. 

“Chanyeol, you can’t go around abusing your height by knocking people down.” Kyungsoo remarked as he glanced your way. You ignored his gaze, embarrassed beyond belief at this point. You knew he now understood your plan of leaving before he could question your pathetic single self and now he had you where he wanted you. 

“Are we still good for the writing session?” Chanyeol asked Kyungsoo. 

“Oh, actually, I have plans with Y/N, can we do it later tonight, Chan?” You didn’t see it, but Chanyeol glanced your way before smirking at Kyungsoo and nodding. 

“Of course, no problem. I’ll see you around then. Sorry again for before, Y/N.” You managed a weak smile in Chanyeol’s direction before you felt a tap on your shoulder. You had never dreaded to face someone more in your life. 

“You seemed to be in a bit of a rush before, do you have somewhere to be? I don’t mean to be a nosey person –“ 

“No, no, it’s all good, I just couldn’t stand being in there for any longer.” You let out an uneasy laugh, to which Kyungsoo simply nodded and smiled. 

“Well, in that case, would you like to grab something to drink with me? If you have time, of course.” 

“I love you!” You blurted out and your eyes widened, “I-I mean, I’d love to. Sorry, that’s what I meant to say. Wow, I’m really digging myself a hole at this point. I’m so sorry, this is extremely embarrassing.” You rambled, and if only you could have seen the glint in Kyungsoo’s eyes to reassure you.

But it was simply too late, his plush lips which you’d only dreamt of until now were finally pressed against yours. And he pulled away before you could even savour the moment. 

“You’re quite good with starting conversations, aren’t you?” 

[stacelu]

kaisoo au;;

[yeolsmuffin]

Anxiety - Kyungsoo

“You wouldn't let go of him and he wouldn't let you let go.”

Genre: Fluff & Angst | bestfriend!kyungsoo, requested. (anixtey trigger warning?)

Pairing: kyungsooXreader

Word Count: 2.4k

♫Third installment of my OYA request gifts♫

Anonymous said:Best friend AU featuring EXO Kyungsoo. When both parties are in relationships but their significant other doesn’t accept how close main character and Kyunsoo are. Angst. I would like you to choose where this goes either they turn into lovers or something else. Thank you :)

“I don't know what to do with you anymore," he said with a sigh as his eyes closed tightly. "Everything I do makes you cry and nothing I say can make it stop."

You tried to control the cries that riddled your body as you held a hand to your mouth. "What do you mean you don't know what to do?" You cried out at him from where you were curled up in a ball on the couch.

He pointed at you, "Exactly that. I don't know what to do. Your panic attacks just get worse by the day and I can't figure it out."

"You don't try to figure it out," you lashed out as your fingers found their place on your bicep. Your nails curved into the skin without hesitation and you forced them into your skin as harshly as you could. You needed the pain. You needed something to balance out the mess that you were in.  

He scoffed. "You run off to him before I even get the chance to try," he accused as his voice raised.

It was this same way every time you fought with your boyfriend of three years. In fact, it was this same way if you fought or if you had a panic attack and normally a panic attack is what caused a fight. You couldn't control what set you off, you never could and that was something you made clear to him before the two of you even started dating. Your boyfriend assured you that he was ready to help you tackle your anxiety and that it was worth it but the further the two of you went into your relationship, the more it seemed like a lie.  

Everyone was so afraid of your anxiety and it always made you laugh because while they were afraid of it, they never had to look it in the eyes the way you did. They weren't fighting with it. If they had to deal with the mental battles you did, maybe then would they truly be afraid. They had no idea what true fear was.

You loved your boyfriend. Loved him so much that it hurt but lately, you wondered how much hurt you could take before you were broken even worse. Your childhood ruined you and shaped you into the fearful adult you were but how much further could you get broken?

You just wanted someone to accept you and your anxiety because it wasn't like it was going anywhere anytime soon. There was one person who did accept your anxiety though and that one person was the only one who could pull you from darkness when you couldn't seem to find a light. The one person who-

"What? I mentioned him and now you have nothing to say?" He spat.

You hadn't realized you were hyperventilating until you felt your lungs tighten in your chest. You were ready to spiral. Too far stressed about your boyfriend and the painful memories he had brought up less than thirty minutes ago. He thought talking about your past was some sick was to help you but it never did. If you wanted to talk about it, wouldn't you bring it up?

"You always run off to him before I get the chance to help-"

You cut him off. "Are you kidding me? How long do I stay like this before I go to him for help? How many hours do you want me struggling to breathe before I get some help? I suffer for as long as I can before reaching out to him. All you do is stare at me and ask me why I'm crying. I've told you what I needed before. I've told you how you can help me but you don't care. You think comforting me will enable me to be like this even more."

"How am I supposed to know what to do to fix you? I didn't sign up for your anxiety Y/N. I didn't get a choice in that-"

Laughing bitterly, you came to a shaky stand. You could feel pain aching from your biceps from where you had carved crescent moons into them with your nails. "You think I get a choice? You think I would be like this if I could help it?"

"You haven’t tried to change. You haven't worked on it. You've been progressively gotten worse and it's because you don't want to do anything about it."

Time felt like it stopped as you stared at your boyfriend. The same one you slowly and happily fell in love with over the course of three years. The same one who promised that your mental disorder would never be a match for his feelings. He looked at you with spite now. His loving eyes nowhere to be found.

If anxiety was a choice, you would have closed the door on it years ago but it wasn't up to you. Anxiety kept the door wide open no matter how roughly you grabbed the knob and pulled. Anxiety was going to ruin your relationship and you wondered if that was the worst thing in the world. Maybe having the mental illness wasn't your choice but at least it weeded out those who couldn't handle loving you for who you were and your boyfriend seemed to be one of those.

He watched you pull the ring from your finger that he had gotten you as an anniversary present. Still shaky and slightly sobbing, you held it out to him. He cringed away. "What are you doing?"

"Here is your choice. If you don't want my anxiety, you can walk away."

He froze, not knowing how to react as you forced the ring into his hand.

"Go ahead. Escape it while you can," you nodded to him as you closed his fingers around it. "I'm sure I would do the same if given the chance."

Slipping your shoes on, you heard his voice call something out to you. You turned around and he repeated himself more clearly as he looked down at the ring in his hands. "Are you going to him?"

"What scares you more? My anxiety or my friendship with Kyungsoo?"

When he didn't answer, you knew the answer yourself. It had to be a mixture of both. Kyungsoo was your best friend since you were younger and while things always remained platonic, your boyfriend always held a high sense of jealousy when anything included Kyungsoo. Although Kyungsoo himself was in a four-year-long committed relationship, it didn't stop your boyfriend's suspicions. When your panic attacks got the best of you and you couldn't find it in you to calm down, he's who you went to. Kyungsoo was where you found your sanity.  

That was probably why he was so jealous. Kyungsoo understood your anxieties in ways your boyfriend never tried to. That's why he would be the one you called during the early hours of the morning when you couldn't stop the impending doom that seemed to be happening.

Your boyfriend was never happy when Kyungsoo would show up unannounced to take you away from the tight confines of the house and no matter what you said in your defense, he never believed things were platonic.

You couldn't help Kyungsoo was the remedy for your fear.

His girlfriend also seemed to react the same as your boyfriend. She would glare at you when she would find you tucked into Kyungsoo's bed in the morning when she would visit. You could hear the way she accused the two of you and the way Kyungsoo begged her not to go. She went as far as ignoring your presence when you were around but no matter how bad things with your significant others got, you and Kyungsoo stayed by each other's side.

You wouldn't let go of him and he wouldn't let you let go.  

At the end of the day, Kyungsoo was your best friend first.

And he was exactly who you called the moment you stepped outside of your front door. He answered halfway through the second ring and seeing as it was late at night, he didn't bother greeting you and instead said, "I'm on my way," as you heard rustling in the background.

Instantly, your heart slowed down even though tears were still falling from your eyes.

He was there in exactly seven and a half minutes looking frantic as ever as he scooped you up from your place on the stairs and took you to his car.

His hand found yours as he drove you back to his place. "You're okay," he assured as his thumb rubbed over the back of your hand. "You're okay."

Your emotions weren't as heightened as they were before and you found yourself less emotional. Even though you had pretty much broken up with your boyfriend, you felt as if a weight had been lifted instead of adding weight to your shoulders.

You could feel Kyungsoo watching you carefully as he drove you back to his place and only when you were finally tucked into his bed once again, did you see his shoulders relax and some of the tension leave his body. He crawled up next to you and pulled you into his arms. He brushed some fallen hair away from your face, "How did he upset you this time?"

A sigh escaped your lips. "It started off with some of the stuff that happened when I was younger and then led into a fight about my anxiety."

Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes. "What about it?"

"He told me that I'm choosing to be like this. That I haven't tried to change."

Rage passed over Kyungsoo and you forced him to stay down when he tried to get up. "I should kill him."

Shaking your head, you gazed up at him. "Don't bother. He said he didn't get a choice with my anxiety, so I gave him a choice." You showed off your bare hand to him and he gasped. When he opened his mouth to speak, you cut him off. "Think about it this way, if I could run away from this, I would too. So I get it. I get why he doesn't want to be around me like this. I don't want to be around me like this."

"But I do," Kyungsoo replied instantly. "I want to be around you when you are like this. I want to be the one you come to knowing I can help you. Sure, I don't want you to go through the mental torture you go through but my choice is to be by your side so you don't have to go through it alone."

A smile spread across your lips as you tucked yourself further into Kyungsoo. "Nobody will ever compare to you."

He laughed softly. "I'm glad. Nobody will ever compare to you either, you know that?"

You rolled your eyes. "I've made your life so difficult, Kyungsoo." You sighed. "Your girlfriend will be furious to know that you picked me up once again."

"First of all, nobody controls me. You are my priority and I broke up with her two weeks ago-" he stopped you from interrupting him. "Second, you haven't made my life difficult. When will you give yourself some credit? You see yourself as this big burden with all this anxiety and fear but all I see is someone who is so strong. Your mind is set in a constant state of panic and while you always feel it, I don't always see it in you. That takes pure strength. You've made my life colorful. I've seen things differently because of you. You've made me think about things more carefully and see things in a light I've never seen them in. To you, your anxiety is like a monster and while sometimes it is, sometimes your anxiety is useful."

"That is the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life," you stated. "the only thing it's good for is running people out of my life."

He shook his head. "That's not all. Sure, it's good to get rid of anyone who isn't in your life for you but it's more than that. You make me think before making stupid decisions like driving without a seatbelt. You remind me to say I love you at the end of each phone call. You are the reason that I appreciate every sunset and sunrise. I know you worry about it all the time. I know you worry about everything and because of that, it makes everything so much more worth it when it goes right."

"My anxiety isn't a positive thing, Kyungsoo," you reminded him even though his words were touching you in all the right places.

"It had brought us together hasn't it?" He asked as his hand found its place on your cheek. "That's enough for me to see it positively sometimes."

You could feel your cheek burning from where his skin touched. "I will never find anyone like you," you groaned to yourself.

"Did you break up with him?"

You nodded slowly.

"You don't have to then."

You furrowed your brows as Kyungsoo looked at you fiercely. "Don't have to what Kyungsoo? You're not making any sense."

"You don't have to find anyone like me because you can have me."

You felt your body start to shake as you saw the pure determination in his eyes. "What are you saying?"

Kyungsoo's fingers tapped gently against your cheeks. "I'm saying that not only do I love your anxiety, but I love you. I've been fooling myself for so long. I've been telling myself I'm not the best person for you but the more time passes the more I realize that's not true. I am the best person for you as long as you want me too."

It was then that your anxiety went full force in your brain. It made your pulse race and your lips tremble as obsessive questions attacked you. Worries bombarded you but the more you stared at Kyungsoo, the more you could filter the bad thoughts. The more Kyungsoo looked at you with love, the more your anxiety was being shut up.

Kyungsoo hadn't been the only one fooling himself. There was a reason he was the only one with the key to shutting down your anxiety and that was because you loved him too.

Pushing all the anxiety aside that you could, you pressed your lips to Kyungsoo's and felt the world around you calm down when he kissed you back.

So sometimes your anxiety helped you the way Kyungsoo did.  

Sometimes it saved your life the same way Kyungsoo always did.

OYA masterlist

this was supposed to be super angsty but turned into more of a story about anxiety than one about angst. I’d say sorry but I feel kind of proud of it! I hope you enjoyed, anon! I feel bad that maybe I took in in a different direction than you may have wanted but this is what happened when I worked on it the past few days.