#does it count?

[pigeonstab]

Imagine having to explain what glasses are to an Eridian. Because not only do humans have a sense that captures light but some of them suck so bad at it that they need little pieces of shaped glass to bend the light right so they can see. What the actual hell.

[moonsetsoda]

fanart for @electricpurrs cause Bubblegum is soooo cute to me.

[tired-and-ticklish]

Employee Training

Disclaimer: This is a tickle fic, so if that isn’t your thing, then just ignore this. 

Summary: Jax isn’t taking his job seriously, so Gangle decides he needs some extra… training.

TW: Tickling (maybe a bit intense?), Restraints, Jax Being Jax, Spoilers for Episode 4: Fast Food Masquerade.

(Let’s face it, a lot of us saw that scene and were all thinking the same thing.)

Working a normal fast food job wasn’t at the top of Jax’s list of adventures. He’d rather be back at the circus, putting more centipedes in Ragatha’s room or stealing Zooble’s parts. But instead, he and the others were forced to work a terrible minimum wage job with an annoying Gangle as their shift manager.  Hell, it was the crybaby’s idea in the first place!

“Ooooh Jaaaaax~!” Speaking of the pain in his tail, Gangle called out from behind the rabbit, that stupid smile from the mask Zooble gave her still plastered across her face.

“The bathroom looks like a biohazard and needs a good scrubbin’!” Gangle told him.

“Shouldn’t like, a biohazard crew take care of that?” Jax asked, not wanting to put in anymore effort than the job was already requiring.

Gangle laughed. “Ohoh, Jaxy boy, don’t you want to be a model employee?”

“No, I don’t care about any of this.” Jax responded, crossing his arms.

“Well, that doesn’t sound like a can-do attitude to me!”

God, was she getting more annoying? “It’s not.”

Another laugh, simply followed by one word. “Bad.”

“I like you better when you’re sad.”

There was a sound, like glass cracking, but Jax ignored it. Honestly, the whole ‘chipper, happy-go-lucky’ attitude Gangle had at the current moment was making him wish they had stuck to the butcher adventure Caine suggested in the first place. Darn Pomni, darn suggestion box, darn not being able to actually swear in this Hell hole called a circus.

“Well..” Gangle replied, Jax either not noticing, or more likely, not caring, how close she sounded to strangling him. “Maybe you need some more…”

She paused, like Caine did sometimes, it was a bit uncanny to see. “More-”

“Training!” Gangle interrupted before he could finish.

Suddenly, two hands grabbed Jax, squishing him like a squeaky toy before dragging him into the back of the restaurant. Once they let go of him, Jax was shocked to find himself in a completely empty, dark room, save for the TV that suddenly turned on. On it was an employee training video, complete with the ‘motivational music, staring and made by Gangle, explaining how it would teach him how to be a good team member and asset to the cooperation.

Jax questioned when Gangle even made the video. Or maybe it was Caine’s doing? The adventures made no sense, so why did he expect a ‘normal’ one to make sense? The way the Gangle in the video spoke made Jax uncomfortable, talking about how dreams were unrealistic, and to stop trying. It was like she was losing it.

“But before we get into all that, first things first!” The Video-Gangle asked, smiling. “Are you smiling?”

“Uh, no…?” 

The music stopped. “Why not…?” Gangle wasn’t smiling anymore, just staring right at him.

Faster than Jax could respond, he was suddenly in a chair, four mechanical arms coming out and grabbing his limbs. They twisted him a few different ways, before shoving his face right into the TV. “Wait- Wait wait! N-Nobody can see this… right?” Jax asked nervously, suddenly regretting any and all decisions in his life that had led to this moment.

“Time for your employee reevaluation!”

With that, the robotic limbs pulled Jax back into the chair, his arms pulled up as far as they would go, his legs pinned down to the leg rest. Jax’s eyes darted around the room, trying to see anything he could use to try to free himself. He couldn’t move, couldn’t escape, couldn’t stop whatever Gangle had planned for him. 

“As an employee, you have to remember to smile!” The video continued, Gangle sounding more and more manic. “Don’t worry, we can help you with that!”

More arms popped out of the chair, Jax feeling his heart skip a few beats when he saw what the hands were doing, wiggling their fingers at him teasingly. Gangle couldn’t be serious, right?! His dread only grew as two of the hands removed his shoes, another unbuttoning his work shirt.

“G-Gangle wait wait wait! I-I-I’m smiling! I’m smiling!” Jax cried in a panic, trying to pull his arms down. “Y-You don’t have to do this!”

The Video-Gangle tsked lightly “Silly, we have to make sure our employees know that we serve with a smile~!” A sinister giggle came from her as she said that.

Jax swore he was going to find a way to break that plastic mask Zooble gave her! However, his thoughts of revenge were put on hold as one of the hands made a few test pokes to his stomach, causing him to jolt. This was bad, the way Jax’s body had been designed in this digital world physically made him unable to bite his lip, so that strategy was out the window. Seems like the jolts he made were all the hands needed, descending upon him.

“W-Wahahahit wahhait nohhohohoho!” Jax snorted, trying to twist and turn away from the devilish hands.

“See, isn’t that better~?” Video-Gangle asked, her ribbons wiggling as well “I’ll check on you in a while!”

A while?! How long was a while?! The darn clock seemed busted, what if he was in there for hours?! Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like Gangle, or the robotic arms cared, the TV turning off as a pair of hands attacked his armpits.

“N-Nohohohoh nohohoho come bahahahack!” Jax pleaded. “I-Ihihihih’m smihihihihihling!”

The robotic hands continued their assault, gently tracing around his armpits, while the ones on his stomach dug right in, causing him to attempt to kick his legs. They hadn’t exactly gotten to his absolute worst spots yet, but Jax had a feeling it was only a matter of time. His paws were exposed, and he could swear he could sense two hands just behind his ears, waiting for the go-ahead to strike.

“Cohohohohome ohohohohon!”

He really hated how much they could actually feel in the circus sometimes. Sure, it was funny to see the others in pain, or watch their panic as he attacked their own worst spots, but having the tables turned on him? It also didn’t help that, thanks to Gangle, the arms knew exactly where his worst spots were, and how harshly or softly to tickle them to drive him up the wall. 

Case in point, one hand swirling a finger right on his navel, threatening to tickle the inside, while also cruelly never actually doing it. The ones on his armpits spidered up and down, even attacking his ribs at a few points. Jax wasn’t sure how long the tickling had gone on for, before the TV turned back on, Gangle’s face smiling at him. The hands stopped, allowing the rabbit to catch his breath. The relief Jax felt was short-lived, however, as the Video-Gangle spoke again. “Step one of your employee reevaluation is complete!” Gangle told him, sounding proud. “Now that you’re smiling, we’ve got to work on your attitude! Being rude to customers, or other coworkers, especially by throwing them in the deep fryer, is strictly forbidden at Spudsy’s!”

“Come on, it’s not like Rags was hurt all that badly.” Jax tried to argue, before immediately regretting it as he noticed the arms were grabbing something just out of his field of vision, making him dread whatever would be next.

“That’s the kind of attitude I’m talking about!” Video-Gangle huffed, before smiling again. “So, I thought you could use some extra motivation!”

Jax’s heart, or, what he supposed he could call a heart in this digital body, nearly stopped as the mechanical hands came back with paint brushes.

“Oh… [trumpet honk]...” The rabbit responded in disbelief. “Y-You’re not actually [quack]ing serious, r-right?!”

Unfortunately for him, Gangle was dead serious, as the paintbrushes glided up and down his paws, making him snort. The pair of hands by his head also got in on the action, softly, slowly, and tortuously rubbing up and down the insides of ears, making him scream out in ticklish agony.

“GA-GAHAHAHANGLE NOHOHOHOHO!”

“Aww don’t worry, I’ll check on you in a while again!” More random noises came from Jax’s mouth, trying to swear, but instead there were a few more musical instrument noises, a car honk, and even a cow moo at one point. That only seemed to encourage the hands to be even harsher toward him, one of the paintbrushes going in between his toes. Jax howled with laughter, trying to twist and turn away from his fate.

“IIHIHIHIHIHIH HAHAHAHAHATE THIHIHIHIHIHIS STUHUHUHUHUHPID AHAHAHAHAHAVEHEHEHENTURE!”

Jax then let out an uncharacteristic squeal as he felt feathers brushing up and down his ears. This was maddening! As the paintbrushes picked up their pace, Jax felt a horrible thought enter his mind. Would Gangle actually let him out of here? Or would she just keep him there until the end of the adventure, making sure he couldn’t destroy anything or cause problems for anyone else? “P-PLEHEHEHEASE PLHEHEHEHEASE IIHIHIHIHI’LL BEHEHEHEHEHAVE!” Jax cried out desperately.

It seemed to work, as the tickling suddenly stopped, the arms releasing him. Jax caught his breath, feeling a few phantom tickles linger. He brought his hands up to his ears, trying to rub the tingling sensation away as the TV turned back on.

“Thank you, valued employee, for deciding to be a team player!” Video-Gangle told him, looking happy, proud, and… relieved? Maybe Jax was imagining things. “Of course, here at Spudsy’s, we respect our employees needing time for themselves, so you may take a few moments to get yourself together before heading back out there!”

Small mercies, Jax supposed. “You’re uh… not going to tell anyone about this, right?”

Video-Gangle simply giggled, before the TV turned off once again, leaving Jax alone with his thoughts. Well, he supposed this made both of them even, in a way. Jax knew about the figurine thing, and Gangle managed to make him beg for mercy. He shook his head, getting his dumb uniform back in order. Once he was more composed, one of the large hands from before gently pushed him out of the room and back into the work area, patting his head before disappearing to God knows where.

Back to work, Jax supposed.

[boiling-kettle]

Inspired by @itwashotwestayedinthewater 's post.

No idea if you are familiar with doctor who, it's just a very specific story from there.

[polar-bears-making-pancakes]

Phantober day 9 (?): moon

prompts by @lornaillustrates !!

[8ozoid]

tastes like caffeine and greed

[dinakisss]

So originally I didn’t even remember he was in clone high!

I just wanted to draw him and I didn’t know how dirty they did him

No hate to the original design ofc

I’m planning to draw more clone high so stay tuned 👅👅👅

I’d imagine him to be similar to topher in character and attitude but unlike him he’d make sure EVERYONE knows who his clone father was

(I don’t remember how he was portrayed in the show and I was to lazy to rewatch the episodes)

No one escapes the yaoi

[haljordangetpregnant]

yello, I wanna share my hc about Hal cuz you're my safe place now. I choose you and you can't say no cuz that's make me sad.

Hal doesn't know that you should pay for alcohol in pubs/clubs, cuz he never pay for his drinks before

Oliver: WDYM YOU THINK DRINKS ARE FREE????? THEY'RE NOT

Hal: FINE, I GET IT. Stop yelling at me

Barry: Why you even think that

Oliver: HOW you even think that??? Didn't you pay for them??? Not even once???

Hal: It vas RARELY. I thought these are forced tips because you start a fight or make angry the bartender.

Oliver (about to lose his mind): You.think-

Barry: Then- idk who's paying for them??? They aren't coming from river or sea or tree-

Oliver: YEA WHO'S PAYING FOR THEM IF YOU'RE NOT???? 

Hal: DON'T YELL AT ME AND I THOUGHT IT WAS GOVERNMENT 

Barry: what-

Oliver(about to cry): WHY WOULD GOVERNMENT PAY FOR YOUR DRINKS?????!!!!!

Hal: I THOUGHT ITS A PROPAGANDA 😭 TO MAKE PEOPLE ALCOHOLIC SO THEY CAN SELL MORE ALCOHOL OR DRUGS OR CIGARETTES. LIKE A TESTER

Oliver: WHAT-

Barry:  It's actually makes sense

Oliver: NO ITS NOT

Also I don't know what to do as someone's safe space but thank you for choosing me? But why did you choose me anonnn anonnn whyyyy I feel like I am a drunkard of an uncle, a bum, being chosen as the fav uncle by my nephews for some reason fr

But HAHAHAHA YEA Hal's too hot to ever have to pay for drinks

Like lowkey

LOWKEY

he's too hot

He goes to the bar and people just give him whatever drinks he wants, he just needs to smile the whole night

Ollie invites him out to the bar and he brings a single dime, and Ollie rolls his eyes and be like

Ollie: A little shameless, don't you think, babe? I know I have money but like, not even a dollar?

Hal: What do you mean?

Ollie: You, assuming I would buy you drinks the whole night. I mean, I would, but show me some integrity next time, will you, Highball? At least have the decency to ask. And then I will get to say 'no babe, close your purse, I'm paying to night' or something.

Hal: But alcohol doesn't cost money?

Ollie: What are on abou-

A drink is given to Hal. He casually chugs it. Doesn't even bat an eye when the Bartender tries to tell him who has bought it for him.

Ollie: ... Well- that is- That is not-

Hal, shrugging: Have you considered that you have been scammed? Any bars I go to, people just give me alcohol for free.

The Bartender: Sir, what is your favourite drink?

Hal: Oh, Mojito! *turns to Ollie* Get it? Cuz my nickname's Highball hahaha. Yea just give me whatever Highball drinks you have, please.

The Bartender: Of course, sir. Mr Ryan, the one in the green shirt over there, thinks you're very sexy.

Hal, *turns to the Ryan guy and winks*: Oh, does he? Tell him I may consider going home with him tonight if I am more drunk.

Ollie: What is happening right now?

Ollie: Seriously, what the fuck?

Hal: What? Isn't that what we're doing tonight? Drink something and flirt with someone?

Ollie: ... do you say that 'if I am more drunk' phrase to everyone who flirts with you in a bar?

Hal: Why yes, of course? What are you on about? People come here, get drunk from free drinks and go home together, right? Isn't that the purpose of these bars?

Ollie: ... I should've known... I should've... How could I be so blind? Babe, stop saying that shit in every bar! You're bankrupting the common folks, making them buy you drinks and supporting the evil alcohol industry at the same time!

Hal: HOW? THE DRINKS ARE LITERALLY FREE!

Ollie: THEY ARE NOT! AMERICA IS A CAPITALIST COUNTRY! WE'RE LITERALLY IN LATE-STAGE CAPITALISM RIGHT NOW!

Being educated on the prices of drinks and how they relate to Capitalism doesn't stop Hal from getting free drinks in bars, and pubs, and everywhere he goes, really. Whenever he's a woman? The drinks amount triples. Now even women buy him drinks.

No one can even argue with it. You have eyes? You're buying Mojitos for Hal 'Highball' Jordan. He looks like a literal angel being let out of a cage, walking into a bar, and winking at you.