#dorphi

[we-are-a-dragon]

Una (genasi artificer): So... why do you want the book, Maria?

Godric (fairy warlock): Maybe she wants to woo Dragonkiller with an ancient Gandarall custom that she's forgotten.

Kjell (half-elf barbarian): I'll save you the trouble, Maria, it'll go over their head.

DM: She sighs. "It absolutely would, and that's not what I want it for."

Seraph (siren sorcerer): *quietly* Are you trying to bring back Gandarall? Are you what Dorphi is so scared of?

Billie (gnome ardent): *sharp look* Oh, shit! I meant it when I told Emperor Cherish I don't want to take over! Do you?

Kjell: *darkly* Do you really think we could stop her?

DM: She says, "I promise that's not what I want. I don't want to rule again, and I'm not looking to install someone else on the throne. You're just going to have to trust me, okay?"

Seraph: *relaxes slightly*

Kjell: *long exhale* Well, I suppose we'll have to take the word of the first queen of Gandarall.

DM: She protests, "I thought you were going to trust me because I was sharing, not because I was a queen one time!"

Kjell: That too, that too.

DM: She holds out the Herald of Mercy, hilt first. "Billie, you can have your sword back."

Billie: Our sword. *takes back gratefully* Can I call you Granny?

DM: "No."

Billie: Fair enough.

[we-are-a-dragon]

Tati (playing Seraph): What do you bet Billie will be jousting against Emperor Cherish?

M (playing Kjell): Lol, that would be her luck.

Adam (playing Billie): Another way to get in with him.

DM: Okay, I swear to god I randomized the bracket...

Tati: Oh my god!

Hamish (playing Thaddeus): This is gonna look great in front of the city, what with the rumours Billie's destined to overthrow him.

Tati: Oh no. Dorphi just glaring daggers from the sidelines.

Adam: When we shake hands I ask, "Does Dorphi think this is okay?"

DM: Cherish chuckles and murmurs, "Yes, just don't kill me."

Adam: "Fair enough. How are you? How are we?"

DM: He smiles tiredly. "I'm good. We're good."

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM: The witch hunters aren't happy, but they lower their weapons. Vethiver looks to Seraph.

Seraph (siren sorcerer): Can you tell my friends what you told me?

DM: He nods. "My memories of the past two months are sketchy, but they do exist. I was mind-controlled by the mindflayer-"

Billie (gnome ardent): You're sure it was a mindflayer?

DM: He frowns and says, "Yes, I have no idea what you mean." Dorphi steps forward and says, "Wait, the mindflayer is bad?" Vethiver continues, "He would bring me out to gloat about how he was corrupting me, the terrible things I was doing, how I was ruining Pelor's name in the city..." His eyes fill with tears.

Thaddeus (khajiit paladin): *quietly* People still believe in Him.

DM: He looks at you with desperate hope.

Billie: Who are you really?

DM: He says, "I'm... no-one. I come from a small village called Furrowdown. I'm a cleric of Pelor."

Seraph: *soft* I am, too. And Thaddeus is a paladin of Pelor.

DM: He looks at you with wonder. "Then even more so, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for freeing me."

Godric (fairy warlock): Why did the mindflayer choose you?

DM: He shakes his head. "I don't know. All he said was that it had to be a Pelor connection and a half-orc."

Godric: *brow furrows* A half race. Half-and-half again. This is more than just a mindflayer's plot to take over.

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM: Emperor Cherish says, "I accept your challenge to a game of lawn darts."

M (playing Kjell): I ask, "You wanna put a wager on it?"

DM: He says, "Alright, I will."

M: "Money, or something fun?"

Hamish (playing Thaddeus): Are you going to hustle the emperor??

DM: He looks at Dorphi and she nods. "Make it something fun. What do you suggest?"

M: "Uh, the first thing that comes to mind is the loser streaks through the party."

DM: He says, "Hmm. As entertaining as that sounds, I'm not sure even my robust reputation could live up to it."

M: I flush. "Sorry. What's your suggestion?"

DM: He thinks. "Well, let me see. If I lose, you get to sit on my throne for two minutes."

M: "Yes! And, if I lose?"

DM: "Well, you wanted to streak..."

M: "Yeah, alright. But you have to announce the rules so if I streak through Seraph's party everyone knows you made me do it."

DM: "Very well, that seems fair." Alright, roll three Dexterity checks and they'll be your three shots.

M: My first is a 24.

DM: 11.

M: Yes!! Next is... oof, 11.

DM: Cherish gets 18.

M: Thank god, the last one's a 29.

DM: And another 11. He says, "Good game. I almost thought I had you there."

M: "Yeah, you did way better than I expected! I mean, no offence."

DM: He announces, "Well, a deal is a deal. Everyone, I lost to Kjell at lawn darts, so he may sit on my throne for two minutes." The party heads to the throne room.

M: "Fuck yes. Come on, Seraph." I drag her along.

Tati (playing Seraph): *squawks*

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM: You get to the meeting room with the huge desk. Emperor Cherish sits down and moves some papers to the side. He says, "Now, Dorphi..." Dorphi says, "Yes, sir."

Tati (playing Seraph): So domestic. I love how comfortably they fell back into routine with each other.

DM: They've known each other since they were little kids.

M (playing Kjell): Aww!

DM: Cherish says, "First things first, TTC's reward. How much was the tournament prize to be?" Duke Farlaing goes very pale.

Adam (playing Billie): *after a pause* "600 platinum."

DM: Cherish nods. "I see. I think we can do a little better than that. The royal treasury is outfitted to reward adventurers for outstanding acts of service, so I think 1000 platinum sounds like a reasonable number."

Adam: *chokes* I was joking!

DM: "Each."

Hamish + Tati: *jaws drop*

DM: *smiles serenely* Dorphi's reaction is similar.

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM: Vethiver says angrily, "You need to leave."

Godric (fairy warlock): No, we need to cure the emperor.

DM: He says, "I'm working to help him lead better."

Una (genasi artificer): How does being sick help him lead better?

Billie (genasi artificer): I telepath to Dorphi. -Why are you frustrated?-

DM: She replies. -The emperor told me to obey Vethiver in all things. But I don't think he's helping.-

Billie: -We're here to stop Vethiver, not to harm the emperor.-

DM: -I know... I trust you. But I can't break my vow to the emperor. I can't help you if it goes against Vethiver's orders.-

Godric: You're not telling us why we can't heal the emperor.

DM: Vethiver chuckles darkly. "Maybe I serve a different emperor."

Billie: -Uh... what about now?-

DM: Dorphi is staring at Vethiver, confused. -I... don't know.-

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM: Dorphi finally caves in and leads you to the Emperor with a stony expression. He looks up from piles of paperwork. "Hello, Dorphi. Travelling Trauma Centre. To what do I owe this... pleasure?"

Billie (gnome ardent): *pulls out sword and lays it on desk* Do you know what this is?

DM: He looks at it for a second. "A longsword."

Billie: Does the name 'The Herald of Mercy' mean anything to you?

DM: He pushes his paperwork aside and rubs his head. "Alright. Grain reviews, out of my head. The Herald of Mercy. It rings a bell."

Seraph (siren sorcerer): How about the sword in the stone?

DM: He yawns. "Yes, the fabled sword that declared the next ruler of Gandarall. It was called the Herald of Mercy, wasn't it?"

Billie: Well?

DM: He looks at you blankly.

Billie: You're looking at the ruler of Gandarall. A country which no longer exists, I might add. And I don't want to take the rule from you.

DM: He looks around. "What's... going on?"

Thaddeus (khajiit paladin): Billie pulled the sword from the stone.

DM: He looks at the sword and then back at you.

Seraph: Dorphi thought it was important, so we figured you should know about it.

DM: Dorphi glares.

Billie: As a show of good faith. I'm not interested in ruling.

DM: Cherish says slowly, "Not all who come to rule want to, especially not years before they decide they want to."

Billie: *forceful* I am not planning anything. I don't want to rule. I think you are a good ruler.

Seraph: We went to an awful lot of trouble recently to save your life and return this city to peace. I think that tells you what you need to know about where our loyalties lie. *pauses* Sorry, I'm talking a lot today.

Kjell (half-elf barbarian): *weird look* Yeah.

Seraph: *guilty* I've gotten used to it, Mirror's rubbish at talking.

DM: Cherish says, "Can we get back to the sword?"

Seraph: Oh, yeah, sorry.

DM: He says, "Dorphi, what do you think?" Dorphi sighs. "I think... TTC's loyalties and interests align with yours, for now. I think we can trust them. And that if revolutionaries were to try and seduce them to conspire against you, they would make the right decision. But... I think Billie should place the sword in the care of the palace."

Billie: *instantly* I'm not comfortable doing that.

DM: They both say, "Why?"

Billie: Because... Well, because it's mine. It chose me.

DM: Dorphi says, "You carried that symbol of anti-imperialism during the whole tournament. People have seen you with it."

Billie: *defensive* So the damage is done. I'm not even using it anymore, I've got a better sword.

DM: Cherish sighs. "Very well. If you will not surrender the sword to us, you must swear to keep it hidden."

Billie: I will. It's not coming out of my Bag of Holding.

DM: "I will trust you for now. Do not make me regret it."

[we-are-a-dragon]

M (playing Kjell): I can really see Dorphi's point about surrendering the sword to the palace.

Tati (playing Seraph): Yeah, it makes sense.

Adam (playing Billie): I don't want to give them my fabled sword!

Tati: I also see your point.

Adam: I say, "Emperor Cherish, real talk. Did you want to be the emperor?"

DM: Cherish says, "I was never expected to rule. My uncle was the emperor, my mother his sister. He had two sons. I was a distant fourth in line. But when a strategic town attempted to secede, my uncle and his sons were all killed in battle." This is history that you all would know, at least vaguely.

M: It almost sounds like the uncle and sons were set up.

DM: Oh, there have been rampant conspiracy theories about it. He goes on, "My mother became empress when I was six, and suddenly I was heir apparent. I can't say that I wanted it, but I became emperor in time. And I think I am a good servant to my people, that I rule them well and fairly, and I am pleased with the work I do. I might not have chosen this life, but I am happy now."

Adam: "Thank you. I do think you're a good ruler."

DM: He nods. "And now I really must get back to these grain counts."

Adam: "That's one big reason I really don't want your job."

DM: He smiles briefly. "Thank you for your... dedication. Dorphi, thank you for dealing with this. Will you please show TTC out?"

M: I blurt, "So are you two a couple?"

Andy (playing Una): You can't say things like that!!

Tati: *gives Andy a look*

Andy: I don't have the moral high ground here, do I?

DM: Dorphi and Cherish look shocked. Dorphi says, "This way, please..." Galwyn drags you out of the room and mutters, "Don't say things like that!"

M: I hiss, "But they are, right?"

Adam: "That's like asking 'Are Kjell and Galwyn a couple?'"

DM: Galwyn says, "We are."

M: "Exactly!"

DM: Dorphi is still walking quickly to lead you out.

M: "Sorry, Dorphi!"

DM: She grabs a passing servant and says, "Could you please show TTC the door?" They say in surprise, "Of, of course..." Dorphi strides away.

M: *grins* "Bye, Dorphi!"

Tati: Well, at least she'll forget to be upset with me now.