#kjelwyn

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM: Kjell, you're teaching Galwyn how to brush Peanut.

Kjell (half-elf barbarian): Have you really never brushed an ox? It's just like a horse.

DM: He says, "I've never cared for one, I thought there might be some special care because of the horns. I've cared for horses. Other animals too. Dogs, a tiger-"

Kjell: A tiger??

DM: "Yes, I got... given one for a job once."

Kjell: Someone just gave you their tiger?

DM: He says, "It was payment. They were an animal trafficker."

Kjell: You let them get away with that??

DM: "No, I took their tiger! Aaaaand I told them off."

Kjell: *side-eyes*

DM: Look, I'm making shit up on the spot here.

[we-are-a-dragon]

M (playing Kjell): I fail my first saving throw on the death ray.

DM: Kjell goes ashen. His cheeks sink in. He is very clearly dying.

Tati (playing Seraph): *whimpers*

M: *low voice* Galwyn can feel me dying through the Rings of Brotherhood. I can feel him panicking.

Adam (playing Billie): *desperate* Can we heal you?

DM: It's not damage, it's a condition. Next failed save he just dies.

Marijn (playing Godric): Can we give you an extra saving throw?

Hamish (playing Thaddeus): I can.

DM: That might just kill him faster.

Tati: I can give him a bonus to his save.

Hamish: Mine comes with a bonus already.

Adam: Wait! Una, don't you have bond of transference?

Andy (playing Una): *eyes widen* Oh my god!

Adam: Can you even use it on the death ray?

Andy: Yes! She said it's a condition! 38 vs Fortitude on the beholder?

DM: Hits.

Andy: ...I transfer the death ray effect over to the beholder.

DM: Oh my god.

M: Oh my god.

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM: We're jumping to dinner of day 2. Kjell has a new dagger on his hip.

Billie (gnome ardent): Kjell, you're packing!

Kjell (half-elf barbarian): *happily* Oh yeah, this is Dagger! *picks up and strokes*

Party: ...

Thaddeus (khajiit paladin): Is he... stroking the dagger?

DM: Galwyn says, "Dagger is a mimic."

Party: *uh*

DM: The dagger sprouts four tiny legs and the pommel opens into a toothy mouth.

Party: *argh!*

Kjell: *melting eyes* We got him from the exotic pet stall.

DM: Galwyn says, "Kjell won the 'Spot the Mimic' game at the faire and liked it so much that we adopted one."

Billie: Is it safe??

Kjell: *scowls* Of course! Why would you think he's dangerous??

Seraph (siren sorcerer): Well... Mimics are considered dangerous.

Godric (fairy warlock): What does it eat?

Kjell: Anything, but he prefers meat.

Godric: *hovers higher* I'm meat.

DM: It hops onto the table, scuttles over to a dish of chicken drumsticks, and eats one.

Thaddeus: Will you make sure it's fed safely?

Kjell: *angry* Yes! Do you not think I'm capable of keeping a pet?

Thaddeus: No, I just-

Seraph: Is it trained?

Kjell: *evasive* It can be.

Seraph: But is it trained now?

Kjell: The stall seemed good, I'm sure Galwyn vetted it.

DM: He says, "Not really, we kind of just walked up and bought him."

Kjell: *furious* I was so excited to share this with all of you, and you don't trust me.

Seraph: I didn't say anything about trust, I'm asking if it's currently likely to bite my finger or chew on my books.

Billie: Kjell, that's not what we-

Kjell: *picks up Dagger and storms out*

DM: Galwyn apologetically follows Kjell.

Godric: I'm meat!!

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM: Once you've all calmed down from the initial shock of entering the Feywild, Alwel says, "A couple more things before we set off. Don't stray off the path, and don't follow any voices or laughter you hear. And have you heard of the Beautiful Bright?"

Hamish (playing Thaddeus): Can I make a History check?

DM: You've heard of it, vaguely. He explains that part of the magic of the Feywild is the Beautiful Bright, which basically lowers your inhibitions and brings out your most pure self, your most honest and deep cravings. It's kind of like being drunk all the time. "Be careful, and consider your reactions and feelings. You may regret them later."

M (playing Kjell): I'm still in rat form. I climb onto Galwyn's foot.

DM: You still weigh as much as a Kjell. He says, "I don't think I can walk like that."

M: I try to climb his pants.

DM: Belt check! *rolls* His trousers just survive, but they're straining.

M: I hop off with a withering rat stare.

DM: He sighs. "Are you going to walk like that or use long legs?"

M: I set off at a scurrying rat walk.

DM: He sighs and follows.

M: I run through the long grass and trip Alwel by hopping onto his foot with my Kjell-rat weight.

DM: He takes a step and falls flat on his face.

M: Yes!

Hamish: I saw that.

Andy (playing Una): Me too.

DM: Galwyn sighs. Alwel hops up with a grin.

M: I keep going with a rat smirk.

[we-are-a-dragon]

M (playing Kjell): I know this is unorthodox, but I have a request for my birthday item.

Tati (playing Seraph): Is it the Window of Escape?

M: No, it's the Rings of Brotherhood. It gives a bunch of passive effects along the lines of knowing the other wearer's mood, hit points, etc, and lets you share a healing surge if they're in trouble.

Tati: Aww.

DM: That's a bit cute. Sure, I don't see a reason to say no.

M: I saw it a few months ago and couldn't get it out of my head.

Tati: So are you going to give the other one to Thaddeus?

Adam (playing Billie): Or me? Since I'm your bro?

M: You guys suck. You know damn well I'm giving it to my boyfriend.

[we-are-a-dragon]

Billie (gnome ardent): I'm sorry I was stroppy after the exhibition match yesterday. What did everyone else do?

Kjell (half-elf barbarian): Thanks for the pastries. I shared them with Galwyn. And told him you think he's hot.

DM: Galwyn blushes.

Billie: He is. Galwyn, you're a beautiful man.

Kjell: That's enough-

DM: He says, "Hear her out."

Kjell: *frowns*

Billie: I'm glad my body got thrown onto yours in the dungeon.

DM: He says, "Okay, I'm in a committed relationship."

Kjell: What the hell is going on?

Una (genasi artificer): Welp, this is too awkward for me.

Thaddeus (khajiit paladin): Yep. *leaves*

DM: Damaris goes with you.

Billie: Look. There's physical attractiveness and emotional attractiveness; and you can objectively appreciate hotness-

Kjell: You're saying you can have hot friends and know it?

Billie: Exactly!

Kjell: *relieved*

Billie: Like, you're cute too!

Kjell: *horrified*

Billie: But I wouldn't go there because we're family and it would be weird!

Kjell: *plonks forehead on Galwyn's chest*

Seraph (siren sorcerer): Now I feel like I'm being excluded from the hotness club.

Kjell: *mumbles* You're like 2.

Billie: *apologetically* Yeah.

Seraph: *sulks*

Billie: Look, I don't think anyone in our party is not hot, but we're all still adjusting. It's only been a week since you came back all grown up. You're still sixteen in my mind sometimes.

Kjell: *nods*

Seraph: *grumpy* I'm going to find the others.

Billie: *sighs* Seraph, you're beautiful.

DM: Galwyn says, "Seraph, I'm sure we'll find someone who thinks you're hot soon," and you could swear he winks.

Seraph: *blanches* I leave the room.

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM: Alright, while you were having your fight I've calculated the average damage and hit rates for Alwel and Galwyn based on basic attacks and defences, so we're going to go back to Day Seven of the faire and resolve their exhibition match. Kjell, Galwyn comes up to you and says, "I know you don't approve of fighting for fun, but are you going to watch our match?"

M (playing Kjell): I half-smile. "That depends. Are you going to win?"

DM: He says, "I hope so. It'll be embarrassing for me if I don't. But he's got a really big sword."

M: I'm not sure how to respond to that. I bop him on the head.

DM: "What? I don't like getting hit with big swords!"

M: "Maybe I'll kiss it better."

DM: He smiles. "Maybe I should lose, if I'll get more kisses."

M: "Don't kill him. Just a little injury, maybe." I don't think Kjell hates Alwel anymore. Just the idea of Alwel.

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM: Since you only took one day in the dungeon you have a bit of a free day. The faire is still going, of course - today's organized event is a music and arts festival.

Hamish (playing Thaddeus): That sounds neat. I'm going to head out early, straight after breakfast.

M (playing Kjell): I tag along to escape Billie and avoid Galwyn.

Hamish: Can I make an Insight check on Kjell?

DM: You definitely notice he's upset.

Hamish: I start talking about random stuff.

M: I am very grateful.

Hamish: I say, "Oh, Una mentioned you were interested in whittling?"

M: Yes!!

Hamish: We'll get you a knife and some wood blocks at the faire.

M: That cheers me up quite a lot.