#dowritebyme

[kotarie]

Having green hair makes me happy. So here are pictures not from the same day, facing whatever direction they want because who am I to rotate them. 🤷🏽‍♀️💚

[kotarie]

Did I just jeaporize future job opportunities by posting this to the internet where it’ll live forever? Stay tuned to find out. My faith’s in feminism though. ✨

[kotarie]

I like you and I shouldn’t. And that’s the most and least of my problems right now. There are just some things you keep to yourself for the sake of others. This type of selfless takes effort.

[kotarie]

I’m equal parts hard to love and self destruction.

So I always beg to wonder if people will only love me for what I will be.

An inevitable ruin.

Something they can hold in their hands, a mixture of mutilated appendages and marbled dust,

broken in so many directions,particles of flesh disperse airborne.

Onlookers salivating at the thought of what I may have looked like whole. As though they weren’t around to see it.

As though their actions weren’t jackhammers, and their words not explosive.

Didn’t they see me wince? Had I?

By then I’ll be an artifact. Something worth preservation.

Even if it’s in pieces of rearrangement, of other people’s diy constructs.

At least now they can pick their favorite parts of me without trying to separate them from their whole.

At least now I’m easier to love, at least now there’s nothing left to destruct.

[kotarie]

They’re a little blurry, but what about life isn’t?🦇 Fanny packs are coming back ya’ll. Just let it happen.

[kotarie]

You’re fucking ruining me. I’d wager that you know that though. I’m just a bump in the road that you passed by miles ago. Not so much as rear view mirror glance in my direction. How did we get here? Where are you headed?

[kotarie]

When someone stops calling, when they stop sending texts to check in for days-weeks at a time even though before they couldn’t go one day, when the inability to make time for you is shrouded in excuses, when someone stops loving you, remeber that it’s okay to still love them unconditionally. Don’t beat yourself up over your failed attempts to accept an ending right away. Don’t apologize for the ways you are able to love someone with even the pieces of your heart. You don’t have to be over it just because they seem to be. Heartbreak isn’t a competition. Healing will take time, and achieving it doesn’t require the absence of love. You are here because you dared love at all.

[kotarie]

And there are people who have been convinced that their reset buttons can be reached with fingers slipped up inside them. Their moans, confused for signs of healing. Their climaxes as fleeting as the footsteps of those who have said to love them. But there’s no resetting a broken heart.