#dpd thoughts

[nervousinpurgatory]

relieved when alone because i have no one around to disappoint but also scared because what if something happens and i have no one around to help me and save me

[the-loner-stoner]

is this Anger™ from Perception™ or Realization™

[dpdhecate]

idk why but like I really want an active rp or someone to write smth with my ocs in it too bc im so dependent on them and my friends ocs that like ??? I feel like I'm A Part of something when things are being written and I'm not like ... an outsider somehow? but Im too scared to write w other ppl cause I don't wanna be judged for my dependency on ocs and it's easier w people who already understand me and i don't have to explain myself

[nervousinpurgatory]

i don’t see many people talk about the loneliness that comes with dpd .

maybe it’s because i have avoidant traits , but recently i’ve been so overwhelmed by the idea that friendship means im responsible for at least some of another persons emotions .

i should never be put in that position . i’m genuinely beyond useless and there’s just no way i can handle the pressure of that . i’m scared to have friends because i have such expectations of my social inadequacy . .

i don’t want to hurt anyone . but i feel like i’m not capable of anything else when put on the spot . i don’t want to have the power to affect anyone . . at all .

so as much as i need people and rely on my friends more than anything i feel so terrible that they consider me their friend . that they have friendship expectations on someone like me .