#drawing journey

[grrabityballs]

Been drawing on paper :’)

[momomochibg]

Hello tumblr! This is my first post on here yay!~~~This is also the first episode of a series I'm starting ...where I choose a theme and locations- this time the prompts were: BATHROOM x CUTE I'm starting off simple okay? T u T''

[creoterative]

A little Art Journey post.

I've drawn Paul a lot over the years, starting from when I was a little kid and sometimes watched Pokémon at my grandma's, over the early teenage years where I watched the Anime a lot more, to the late teens when I finally understood his character to its full extend - until now, my early twenties.

This Dude somehow managed to become my most favorite character out of any form of media. When people ask me, what's my favorite character in general, it's Paul.

Why?

Well, that's a looong story and complicated as heck. If anyone would be interested in that, I could dive deeper into this once I'm done with my school stuff.

But for now, I wanna enjoy this short moment of noticing, that a little bit of childhood passion can come a long way.

Funny to see how my style changed over the years xD And also how Paul apparently grew as well, he's a big, strong Demon Hunter now >:)

Fun Fact: I... I actually drew Paul as a pancake once, because I was mad at him for abandoning Chimchar once again... Yeah... the things I do when I get angry... Think I still got that lying around here somewhere...

[madfantasy]

New 3 things that happened:

*I got my new ID, my id expired and to renew it I had to get photographed, and since I just opened my bank account a year ago it depends on it so already I was giving up on the idea to keep the account but by miracle a photographer agreed to picture us at home, and it turned to us cuz I wanted all my sibs to have theirs taken with me too and because I had to argue first time to get my ID forever, so i didn't have the energy to keep doing it for the rest of my sibs so now it was the chance. The day of the photographer coming I was shaking with fear and I thought I would never leave the bathroom gotten ill. I fear seeing people more than dyin so I don't know how I held it together, I literally don't remember how it went or how I did, but I recall my sibs looking the same as I felt but it was finally done. parents too taken their shoots and because one needed their passport renewed to renew their id, them alone costing 1k$ and the appointment was set 6 months ahead, we R now close to it anyway, and the thought of how we have to pay to exist some more costly made me think of my worthlessness and helplessness even more, making me ashamed of still living.

The thing that blinded me, me the first to be tested on lo

*my eye is better, I still see a dark spot looking in a certain direction, getting an eye mask surprisingly helped keeping my eyes less dry cuz they be the most when I wake up and I had the driest time before it got infected and swelled, and already I'm used to the spot and can ignore it..

*I'm still drawing, literally it's making me live love and laugh, I don't care about improving or drawing my best constantly, ai can get poisoned for all I care as it continues to dehumanise the whole point of art-- keeping humanity alive ( btw use glazing ❤️🖤)

I realised that I don't have any physical collection of my art & since I can't look at the screens forever just to browse, nd printing all my stuff isn't feasible, then I came across those mini albums Nd I got the idea to just print one sheet = 9 pics! They look good too for trashy quality, I love it 8' and yes, purple and silver is the 10% obsession to my 90% red and black pallets, thanks to remembering Freeza c'x

But as usual posting my drawings never cease to eat me alive with anxiety, but I think I'm slowly becoming indifferent to it, even if the thought of that no one actually sees my art but me, which is the main case cuz I am living in isolation and being drawing in secret till few recent years because of my conservative surroundings, I feel much calmer when I'm not seen and maybe it's self destructive in a way cuz to stay posting I need to be commissioned cuz net bill, but it became irrelevant cuz I accepted that i can't have the mental capacity to be a social media person or chase anything that I already knew I can't maintain, I had an art block for a year I almost believed that was it for my art drive and me cuz it my sanity— cuz burning out so bad. If my post has a description it was in my drafts for months cuz I plan for every piece I share, but if can't form words I allow myself to let it be captionless, I draw faster than I form words and that's why art is important to me on a personal level, it's my first way of express even if its indirect, the only bit of human Mani left to live in me to put through lines and paint splodges. Even if no one sees it, and to be honest with myself, have very weak chances of being seen on a level that benefits me financially, I'm on the other side of the world, never seen the sky beyond my schooling days, nonverbal irl and know that I can get taken advantage of easily in social manner because it either I don't get the social cues or can't say no..

I'm grateful that at least I got the chance to experience being in a loving nurturing fandom like Sev's that made me experience genuine human goodness and care I never thought possible, made me have some self worth, personality beyond a made for marriage caretaker, and allowed me to get art tools and clothing that I was never allowed or could afford, and many first time small life pleasures like perfumes, food and toys, even if I only recognise 5 or 10 of you dears now, by DP liking my posts- (I suck at remembering names sorry)

I'm also grateful to have a room after endless years of couch and house movings, I have a safe space to still be able to draw and be cool under an AC in this 50° weather..

I think realistically that's the best it can get having spent all my life trying to get anywhere but isolated, and nothing working. At least I'm indifferent and fine of being the caretaker of my disabled guardians and siblings, I need them as much as they need me, even if it caused me the same cycle of mental anguish and earth leavings hehe

Wish U all the ease and peace and yummy peas 🫶🏽

4 am, sleep deprived

[watchmego]

“Does it hurt, Naminé? Watching your two childhood friends fight all because of you? You have my sympathies. From the heart.”

Drawing one of my favorite scenes from Chain of Memories! In the novel, they are looking into the ball together at Riku during this line.

[mysterious-merchant-of-ink]

You ever draw something, look at it, and go: ‘Ah yes… this is definitely a shape.’ Progress is progress. ✏️😅

[ihategrass]

The thought of Jazz being in possession of the crown of fire is so funny to me.

Imagine all the ghosts in the zone looking at the halfas human sister having one of the most powerful relics in their realm