#drchen

[till-the-next-millennium]

[supercodi]

I am three years post-op phalloplasty today! 🙌 . . Crazy to think it’s already been three years! It was definitely a lengthy recovery— some days I wondered if I would ever feel normal again or stop dealing with strictures... but now it’s something I hardly think about until I basically announce its my wieners birthday. My life is weird 🤪 . . The journey to phalloplasty and the recovery from phalloplasty was not easy, but just like with any life challenge— you always come out stronger in the end... and perhaps with an extra appendage 😁 . . Always fight for what you want in life! Never give up 🙌 . . #phalloplasty #drchen #rffphalloplasty #ftm #transgender #transman #transguy #happybirthdaypenis #trans https://www.instagram.com/p/CBWlUrpDOBc/?igshid=recztsokqwih

[rabbitears91]

I think mid-May will mark 9 months since my first stage of rff phalloplasty with dr. mang chen of brownstein and crane surgical services. i can’t say enough positives about dr. chen and his microsurgery team, but in particular dr brian parrett. I had my surgery with the “new” microsurgeons and am very pleased with the aesthetics of my new member, for those anxious about this “new” team.

I will hopefully return to post on recovery and my arm scar, as many seem to be curious about all of that – and understandably so; however, this post is focused upon “hooking up” or “sexual encounters” in my experience being post-op downstairs.

Proceed with caution: I will use several terms that may make some uncomfortable though I do so as to not cause any confusion or greyness on what I am speaking of.

So firstly, what’s up, down there? I had a vaginectomy so there is no longer a vaginal opening.  My junk that grew on hormones is buried in the base of my dick. I can feel it near my scrotum as well as in the base. I could orgasm since week 5 with sensations felt in this area. I had glansplasty (the creation of a defined head) in late feb. of 2017. This is to say it was NOT done in the first stage. My surgeon says doing it after stage 1 gives it a better opportunity to not flatten out. It has not flattened out yet so woo-fucking-who J I cannot get erect naturally. I will not be able to get erect unless I get a surgically implanted erectile device. I am not sure if I will. I do have a scrotum but no testicular implants. The scrotum looks ideal (for me personally, folks) in that it resembles a cisgender male’s scrotum. I do plan to get testicular implants in September. So in summary: dick, ball sac, no erections naturally, no balls inside my ball sac. Nothing really “different” about what comprises my anatomy down there.

I had experienced a breakup shortly before going into phallo. My ex accompanied me to my surgery still and made a more final break in the final days of our stay in the Bay (san francisco area of California). We have not been intimate since my recovery. She cared for the recovery of my junk in the early weeks.

I have had numerous partners (1 female, multiple others male) since recovering. While exploring grindr, many are actually displeased that I am post-op and seem to have been more excited when they assumed I had the female junk I was born with. Undoubtedly interesting on a gay chat, date, hookup app.  I have had many other experiences where men want to meet up and want to exchange oral sex or penetrate me anally (again, I cant get erect naturally). Some want to hear about my surgery details and want to meet up or simply want to hear because they can’t g o o g l e. Many request pictures, sometimes I send and other times I block, while other times I simply say no.  There is no formula, it all just depends on my mood.

I’ve had encounters from social scenes where I’ve got reactions such as “let’s do this” to “let’s end it here.”

It’s still a process of sharing to a degree and worrying whether folks are put off by the idea of me being a transsexual altogether, regardless of anatomy. There’s still plenty of assumptions. It isn’t always about simply having a dick lol. The idea of being trans sometimes has influenced whether folks want to take it further (or if on an app, whether they want to meet up).

Presently I seem to be talking to far more men than women. It’s rare a woman captures my interest. I don’t know if it’s because I am attracted to men or because it’s affirming to attract men who exclusively like men, who tend to be far more visual….and to have folks only attracted to men be excited about my junk is affirming as hell. I’ve had others love my junk pre-op but I didn’t love it and that’s what didn’t work. I didn’t love it 24/7, not just during hookups or sex in a committed relationship... I haven’t gotten into anything serious for several reasons – one being I’m enjoying this fun. It’s certainly liberating and post-op, I am without as much apprehension of telling the sparknotes of what’s up down there; pre-op, OMG so much fear in disclosing..NOT SO MUCH because folks would reject me (read: many are very excited about pre-op or non-op junk) but because I wasn’t comfortable or even remotely ok with my pre-op junk. Since being cleared for sexual activities, I realized I was hit with an IMMENSE freedom. I did some dangerous things where I’d drink ridiculous amounts and end up not remembering who I came home with, who was with me when I woke up. It just felt good to be embraced and recognized as an ordinary gay man. It felt amazing to do all types of things now that I’m physically existing in a way that makes sense to myself, I wanted to catch up in a way, on all these adventures of knowing myself through these sexual undertakings.

Just like being pre-op, my mileage varied regarding who was down to date/mess around and that hasn’t changed. What has changed is my confidence, so more folks end up YES rather than NO. It is apparent I have this sense of knowing myself and not hesitating to meet this person or that person on a sexual level and allow stuff to happen. I felt so much more shy and ashamed pre-op. It was if I didn’t have the language to participate in conversation pre-op, whereas now I have mastery of the vocabulary, I’m armed with a dictionary and personality to maintain conversation. If you’re operating fine with your junk that is untouched by surgery, I say keep it. Bc these surgeries have recoveries that are really NO FUCKING JOKE. While I do compare my junk to that of other men’s (ie my comment about the sac CLOSELY resembling that of cisgender males), that kind of thinking is far from my mind when getting sexual with others, especially men. It is an awesome result compared to my pre-op junk; however, for those considering and those post-op can likely agree, it isn’t the dick of a cisgender male and never will be. It has its downsides if compared besides a cisgender male’s dick but because I was struggling so severely with my pre-op junk, I absolutely love my dick. It’s been a gift of life. Not because the hookups, bc you will always get rejection regardless of what you’re packing…but because my confidence, knowing and coming into myself now that my junk matches that which I’ve known and I’ve needed is finally a reality.

[that-one-queer-dude]

Dr. Chen's office just called. They sent the codes in and my insurance should approve it within 7-15 days. 30. More. Days. ○ ● ○ ● #trans #transgender #ftm #femaletomale #topsurgery #hysto #phallo #phalloplasty #drchen #rfa #30days #sohappy #sorelieved #soclose #thisismyhappydance

[supercodi]

One year ago today... my balls dropped 😂 crazy it’s been a year since I got my testicular implants a.k.a my jingle balls. I also had my arm worked on and a stricture repaired. I’ve been stricture free ever since and my balls are... hangin in there lol . . The process of phalloplasty is no joke. It’s been quite a long journey. Unfortunately I’m not done with surgery and have another arm repair in my future but I’m putting it off for now. My mental health took a dive after my knee surgery and I’m finally in a better place and want it to stay that way without having to go through another post-op depression episode so soon. Surgery no matter how beneficial is still an assault on the body and I need a break! 💪 . . Cheers to another year with balls 🤷🏻‍♂️ . . #phalloplasty #drchen #phallo #rffphalloplasty #ftm #trans #transgender #lgbtq #life #surgery https://www.instagram.com/p/B5wkUxvgLUX/?igshid=kzyo0gzjky2f

[supercodi]

Just thought I would do a quick arm comparison photo. The top picture is my arm two years ago, and the bottom one is what my arm looks like today. I’ve had three corrective surgeries for my arm since stage one RFF phalloplasty and the journey is not over yet... but despite that, it looks a hell of a lot better. The human body is amazing. 🙌 . . Why I have needed corrective surgeries: #1 the use of integra as it was not used properly. #2 they took my graft too far up on my hand. #3 they didn’t take a thick enough graft from my thigh. 😩 . . Surgeries had since stage one: neuroma removal and nerve graft, lymph re-routing and fat grafting ( for hand swelling ), scar revision and fat grafting. . . I’ve got more to go to help with my nerve issues and tightness. Thankfully I have a great microsurgeons working with me now ( Dr. Lin ) Perhaps I will share more thoughts on my arm in a future post. But for now, I am just going to focus on how much better it looks 😁 . , #phalloplasty #ftm #transgender #bunckeclinic #drchen #transman #transguy #trans #rffphalloplasty #lgbt https://www.instagram.com/p/B0lzhJmAiFD/?igshid=1e5ho5wnigvec

[supercodi]

I am two years post-op phalloplasty today. Hard to believe two years have already gone by! 😮 . . Going into surgery I had no idea that The next couple years would be filled with having surgery every few months or so... either for a stricture repair or an arm graft revision. However, I am happy to report that I am now stricture free and I only have one more phalloplasty surgery ahead of me and that is for the erectile device in September. This chapter in my life is finally coming to a close in the near future. People always ask if it was worth it with all of the complications it entailed. 100% yes! No ones life is complication free and to me, the biggest complication was not being born with a penis so really... how much worse could it get? 😂 This surgery was no easy task but I’ve come our way stronger in the end because of it. . . So thankful to be living in a time where medicine allows for me to feel more aligned in my body and for my surgeons ( Dr. Chen and Dr. Lin specifically). If you are thinking of pursuing phalloplasty in the future my biggest tips would be: 1. Research your surgeons and the procedure ahead of time. 2. Therapy: you will need to mentally prepare yourself for both good and bad outcomes and also post-op depression. ( its inevitable so don’t think you are special and will escape it ). 3. A good support system: Friends, family, etc. you are going to need help. Maybe even someone willing to wipe your butt 😆 . . Happy 2nd Birthday to my penis! ( usually people my age have actual two year olds and I’m just celebrating my dick 🤷🏻‍♂️) . . #phalloplasty #bunckeclinic #drchen #drlin #pridemonth #pride #trans #transgender #transman #ftm #bottomsurgery #lifewillbethedeathofme #phallo #happybirthday #transguy #tbt https://www.instagram.com/p/Byqzf1fAqsz/?igshid=338qg3gdu6cv

[supercodi]

Surgery in 6 days. Pray for my sanity during recovery. Being out of the gym for 4-6 weeks is torture for me and I lose my coping mechanism 😩 Between recovery and still dealing with some insurance issues so close to surgery my anxiety is pretty high. Yes I will get through it, but damn I already miss the gym and recovery hasn’t even started yet. 😂 #flexfriday #ftm #trans #transgender #phalloplasty #fitness #fitfam #drchen #transman #surgery #recovery #gym #workout https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq0qKy4BBXF/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=x1p2w6hug83m