Jun 7
Strange things out on the road (2015)
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Strange things out on the road (2015)
Your Uber arrives. You open the side door- but then the driver turns around and says to you “Come to the front.”
“What?” You ask.
“Come up front,” she pats the passenger seat.
“Can I set my stuff back here first?”
“Sure.”
You throw your backpack in and open the passenger side door.
“What is it?” you ask.
Perhaps she wants her payment up front. That would make sense.
“You have a license, right?”
“Yeah,” You reply, hoping you aren’t in trouble. You’ve had your license for about a year.
“I need you to sit up here,” she tells you.
You DO NOT WANT THAT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! THATS AWKWARD. But you are bad at confrontation.
“Okay,” you say sweetly, and reluctantly get in.
“What kind of music do you want?” Your driver asks.
“Oh, anything is fine,” you lie like a lying liar who lies.
She turns on a radio station that exclusively plays pop songs of middling energy that you do not know. She also leaves it just a little too loud.
“Do you think that’s enough of a gap?” The driver asks, speaking about the traffic.
“Yeah,” you reply.
She pulls forward and into the street.
“So, what were you up to today?” She asks.
“Hanging out with some friends,” You say.
“What did you need the ride for?”
“I don’t have my own car yet.”
“Bummer. For you. It’s a plus for me, tho.”
“Yeah,” you laugh awkwardly.
The next song comes on and she starts singing- poorly.
It’s not that she can’t enjoy singing to something just because she’s not good at it- and you aren’t saying shes a bad singer, but like- its painful having to sit here and hear it. You are caught between feeling like you are casting judgement on this woman- WAIT is she a woman??? She looks like a child tbh. But you have to be an adult to drive Uber. Probably. That would make the most sense.
She squints at the dark road ahead lit by the TOWN you are in, and then pushes her glasses onto her head as if they are sunglasses. You feel like “uhhhh maam dont you need those.” And then the glasses fall off her head anyway, because they only have one leg.
“Oops,” she looks down at them lost on the floor. “Well,” she laughs, “it doesn’t matter, I see as well without them.” She looks back at the road.
“Oh, they’re for fashion?”
“No, I just haven’t had an eye appointment in like five years.”
You stare ahead at the road. Please save me.
You reach a stop sign intersection. She stops behind a semi.
The semi’s turn comes, it turns left.
“I can go now, right?” Your driver panics as she follows the semi into the intersection, completely skipping the stop sign.
She follows through at least. As you look out your window at the car that should’ve gone next, you see the county sheriff.
“Was it okay that I went then?” She asks, looking over at you.
“Why don’t you know?” You ask in horror.
“It’s not my fault!” She remembers to look at the road. “I don’t have my license yet, okay? You have to tell me about this stuff!”
And finally, a song you recognize comes on the radio. Skyfall, by Adele.
You gaze upon your Uber driver with new eyes- knowing eyes.
The lime green skirt. The Jinx colored nails. The broken glasses.
The permit.
Your driver is undersideofaleaf, and she is going to crash this car.
Inspired by this asmr video
My Super Traumatic Day
So some of you might not want to read this because it doesn't really relate to being a spoonie and at one point it mentions blood and its just generally a spiral of events getting worse and worse for me.
So last night I was going out with my friends to celebrate the end of my retakes and while getting ready I heard a massive screech and crash so looked out my window and there were a ton of flashing lights so obvs emergency services were there. I got ready left my house to go to my friends (they legit live round the corner, like less than 30 seconds). I had to be escorted there by 2 police officers and they weren't gonna let me go until I explained where I was going. Got back at about 3am and got told by the police I couldn't go to my house in case I contaminated the crime scene so had to crash at my friends on the sofa for the night and wasn't aloud into my house till 11am.
I had to drive back to my parents house today so I got ready for that and on the drive back I hit traffic and construction zones(fun times), then the car in front of me hits a bird at 65mph. This birds blood goes all over my windscreen and the only thing I can do is use my windscreen wipers to get the blood off. I had to spray the cleaner fluid and use the wipers like 10 times and I started crying.
About 10 minutes later something flies at my car, from another car in another lane and I hear a massive bang, when I got to my parents a ton of paint work has bee scratched down to the metal, my wheel hub is broken and so is the wheel arch(still legal to drive the car though).
Oh and then the cat attacks me.
Traumatic day or what? I'm just proud of myself for coping with it all.
Tldr: police didn't let me in my house last night cause of a car crash then a bird got hit and the blood went all of my windscreen whilst driving and my car got hit by something and broke some of my car. Also got attacked by a cat.
I’m an air conditioning girl, all the way. In my home and in my car. But tonight, after work, it wasn’t stifling out so I said, what the heck, and started driving with the drivers side window down. I decided to stick one hand out the window to feel the summer air, hoping for an epiphany or moment of clarity and maybe have some sort of sense of normal, non retail life, you know, just to feel something.
Instead, I got a firefly come shooting through my window as I’m going 40mph. It hit me in the arm and flung into the passenger seat floor and, while fireflies are relatively harmless, I panicked and rolled the window up then had to find the stupid insect so it doesn’t fly around while I’m driving nor perish in my car overnight. By the time I got home it was on the floor mat and I safely removed him onto some grass in the yard.
August is slipping away into moments of panic and distracted driving. Taylor Swift doesn’t have a song for that.
My sister is a nerd. She finds a fandom and clings to its every detail in her impeccable memory. She is also navigating the dating world 🌍 which in my opinion is the roughest world in existence.
So we are talking about a date she had Her- So he said on his profile that he was LOTR fan. And I’m like okay cool! Blah blah blah…more LOTR related things.
Unnamed man-oh I’d like to live in a hobbit hole, but we couldn’t plant anything on top of the hobbit hole.
Her- Well that is kinda the point it works with the root system of said plants
Him- yea but it would structurally mess up the hobbit hole
Her(inner voice) -well this idiot doesn’t know ANYTHING about how to build a hobbit hole!!!
I then proceeded to die because she telling this story while I’m driving her home!
Lessons
If you claim to be a fan know the details.
If the structural integrity of your hobbit hole is in question due to root systems you’ve built it wrong.
My sister will show you how to build a sound hobbit hole.
I hate drivers in my city. An old lady today almost hit my car and then she started blaming me for “not seeing” where I was going. Like ma’am, I made my stop at the designated area. Looked all ways and then you’re out here blaming me? I gave her the finger. I was so upset. Stupid old hag.
So yesterday I was driving home with my mom. We were coming up to a light about to get on the freeway and a random red Honda Civic (ish I’m not sure tbh) cuts in front of me. He had Michigan plates and a University of Michgan decal on his back window so I knew he wasn’t local. I, being a naturally curious and petty person, change lanes and pull up next to him just to show him how utterly pointless cutting me off was since we were both in the same position now. I look at him through the window and he glares daggers at me. And I’m like excuse me? Why are you mad? Cause I exist on the same road as him? I mouth “are you okay?”
Reader, he was not okay. In fact, I think he might have been a bit unhinged.
He rolls down his window and I do the same because hey he almost sideswiped me for no reason and I’m a bit annoyed and the light is pretty long. “You got a problem?” He says with the level petulance I expect from my 5-year-old nephew. “I’m just wondering if you are okay since you practically sideswiped me.” He denies it and then starts calling me names, which has a kind of school ground bully logic to it. And I mean if I was still 10 maybe I would care that a complete stranger called me a “fucking fat ass bitch” (and if I’m being totally honest being called fat always stings a little bit no matter how old I get). But like my sister almost died last night and it had been a long day so as he rolled his window back up I just laughed at him.
He didn’t like that one bit.
He rolled his window back down. “You think it’s fucking funny?”
“I think life is too short to freak out over nothing.”
More expletives followed by him throwing his Burger King drink at my car. It flew over the hood and landed harmlessly on the pavement (maybe he just has no depth perception and that’s why he can’t drive?). And I looked at my mom like “did that just happen?” I look at the guy and ask “did you really just do that?” And I am not sure he even realizes how ridiculous he seems to me as he starts to call my perfectly nice 2015 Forester a “piece of shit” and then throws in another “fat ass bitch” I guess in case I didn’t hear it the first two times?
Now I’m just sad for him. What kind of life must he live that he gets that angry over something like this? “Bro. There are way more important things in life than this.” But he isn’t listening. He pulls out his phone and starts recording me and I wish I had said something clever like “hey friends of Civic guy could you get him into anger management?” But I’m just so taken aback so I am just like “are you filming this?” Cause I can’t wrap my head around why. Like what is the caption to that snapchat? “Look at the people I just threw my drink at?” or more likely “this fat ass bitch!!!!!”
In any case, I roll my window back up cause there is really no point. As I do he asks “is that your mom?” And I wonder if he had a whole store of “yo momma” jokes ready to let loose. Alas, I will never know because the window stayed up. It stayed up as he continued to record us. And when he made the gun symbol with his fingers and pointed it at us and mimed pulling a trigger. And it stayed up as he rolled down his back window and recorded us some more. We did our best to ignore him but now I think I should have recorded him back. I just didn’t want to give him any more attention.
I will admit to a little thrill of fear at what he might do once the light turned red and we got in motion again. Though my assessment was that he was a raging man baby the unprovoked level of his rage was unsettling. So when the light turned green I held off the accelerator. Predictably he cut in front of us again. As we merged on to the freeway I let several cars get in front of me and watched as he swerved over three lanes twice and cut off two other cars. Then he was gone.
And the thing is I can’t help thinking about him. About his anger and what exactly caused him to explode. I imagine I will become a story he tells others just as he is now a story I will tell. I wonder what he or his friends will think about his recordings and if they will agree with him about me being in the wrong. Mostly I am just happy that nothing worse came of the encounter and that I am able to laugh about it. I hope his anger and bad driving never hurt anyone. Life really is too short.
3 Scary True Road Trip Horror Stories
New Post has been published on http://ezyshopz.com/viral/2018/07/29/3-scary-true-road-trip-horror-stories/
3 Scary True Road Trip Horror Stories
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlQqwpdlY7w
Three allegedly true scary road trip experiences, all sent by subscribers.
Stories 1 & 2 : Anonymous Story 3 : Michael Soria
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