So quick question what of all of subarus deaths which one hit them the hardest?
It really differs from person to person, but here’s a couple:
Rachins: The one where he stabbed Subaru to death. It was largely an accident, and there are other, worse deaths that come after that, but he just can’t get the image of his own self murdering someone in cold blood out of his head.
Eridna and Beatrice: The first Arc 2 loop. Beatrice wasn’t his contracted partner yet, but she is now, and — she apparently once abandoned him to die, despite the fact that it would have taken her five seconds to just remove that fucking curse. Beatrice is devastated, Eridna is furious.
Rem and Ram: I don’t think there’s any possible answer that isn’t the loop where Rem tortured him for hours before Ram killed him in order to keep him quiet.
Wilhelm: The second Petelgeuse death. Not because of the grotesqueness of the Archbishop’s actions — he’s seen worse, probably — but because of the very painful and haunting realization of the similarities between his own righteous anger and the anguish-inducing display of rage that Subaru presented in response to Rem’s death.
Mimi, Crusch, Felt, and Reinhard: The third Petelgeuse death. Nobody was there. Mimi, Crusch, and Reinhard are all anguished about their failures to be there for him when he was outright begging for help, but Felt is just completely pissed with the lot of them (sans Reinhard, who was legit just not there due to a spell of bad luck).
Ferris: Both of Subaru’s suicides offend him on a very personal level, but the one he does in an attempt to save Rem (and by extension, Crusch and the rest of that lot) from Gluttony has so many other complicated feelings tied up in it that he just — it’s a lot.
Julius: If you think Julius is getting a little too overprotective now, imagine how that man is going to react to watching Subaru attempt to PET THE GREAT RABBIT.
Anastasia and Emilia: The Kiss of Death served as the final nail in the coffin for Anastasia’s opinion of the Emilia Camp as a fucking clown show — especially after she learned what Emilia thought kisses did. Emilia knew the context from the start and now she’s traumatized by her understanding of what she tried to do.