Ranking primarchs by baldness(least bald to most bald)
Most beautiful and thick hair:Magnus(need I say more?)
Sanguinius: wakes up and his hair is naturally beautiful
Fulgrim: 60 step hair care routine. Might top Sanguinius if he didn’t use that many products.
Khan:Do you see how thick the hair in his topknot is??? If he stopped shaving parts of his head and let it all grow out, he may give Fulgrim a run for his money.
Russ: Rugged gorgeous hair that he takes care of like Vikings who despite modern misconceptions valued personal hygiene.
Corvus : his hair is probably very sleek and has that healthy shiny glow. Maybe it is iridescent like crow feathers.
Lion: good hair, probably combs it and washes it but nothing too special.
Tied: Gman and Dorn: average hair primarch wise. I think in a 40k novel it mentioned that Gmans hair was thinning due to the stress of running the imperium alone. Dorn’s hair is spiky and cool. They are the only guys besides Ferrus who aren’t either bald or have long hair.
Ferrus: probably doesn’t care about his hair, just gets a buzz, lower maintenance so that he can focus on the important things.
Konrad: super greasy, probably has pieces of dried blood and unidentifiable fleshy goop. When Fulgrim can convince him to take a bath, it is probably on Corvus to Sanguinius level.
Mortarion: thin and damaged because of the Barbarus’s air being super polluted
Tied Angron and perturabo: the butchers nails deep fried his hair follicles, but he has wired dreads so he isn’t completely bald. Perty is in a similar boat as Angron. When he didn’t have cables attached to his head he can grow hair that would put a Greek god to shame.
Tied:Horus and Lorgar: Horus probably shaves his head for military reasons(hygiene, low maintenance, professional, practical for combat) while Lorgar shaves it for religious reasons(he needs more room for his tattoos). I think canonically they can both grow hair but it’s funny to think that they were the first traitors because of male pattern baldness.
Vulkan: he works in the forges and his legion has fire weapons, he either shaves it off in order to not deal with the smell of burnt hair or his hair is always getting singed off because of his line of work.
Alpharius/Omegon:I headcannon that they are actually completely hairless and born like like that via the emperors design because people could try to clone them if they had access to their hair or trace them. Ya know, for spy reasons.
