#dustin.

[heavensorhells]

jacob elordi as felix catton in saltburn (2023) dir. emerald fennell

[jofms]

@drvgonbvnny (for dustin at the CREAMERY ICE CREAM & COFFEE BAR)

it felt like a lifetime ago since she'd last been here. amelia's death had warped the woman's sense of time and the events that followed had only uprooted her further, causing a severe lack of stability. josette couldn't believe how far she'd gone to damage herself and how she felt like there was nothing left. she'd grown a year older, recently having a birthday and couldn't believe that things had got worse than the year that preceded. the woman would always go too far and new year's eve was no exception but she'd managed to try and improve; improve what, she wasn't entirely sure. bloodshot eyes glance up at someone, someone who's no one other than dustin, a former friend. everything was now former. she wasn't a mother, wasn't matthew's partner, wasn't his friend, wasn't a therapist - what identity did she have left? it wasn't as simple as leaning back on herself and her character as she despised the person she'd become. "dustin, hi." her words were somewhat rushed but josette wanted to try keep composure and portray herself to be as calm as she could. "how've you been, you know, with everything?"

[chocobrats-blog]

     🛠𝚍𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗;;-- ‘ So... Maybe chasing after snapping turtles wasn’t a good idea. ‘ And it really wasn’t, yet here he is, snapping turtle on his leg.

[iburnedyourletters]

@rubiesintherough liked this for a starter

“What’s the matter, buddy? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Yes, she was using that line on him, and yes, it had absolutely been a while. 

[jofms]

@drvgonbvnny at the creamery ice cream and coffee bar (again)

it had been no fault of the purchase or the staff members when sudden nausea set into the woman, causing josette to quickly abandon her belongings and lock herself in to the available toilet facilities to empty the little that was in her stomach. knees pressing into to cold floor, she'd spend several minutes there, minutes that would feel like hours as she waited for the feeling to subside and for her body to stop shaking. slowly pushing herself up, she flushed, washed her hands and the outside of her mouth before she emerged back into the main café. walking slowly back to her table to get some money for water, she thought her eyes were deceiving her when she's seen dustin. the hairs on her arms stood up once more, making her feel the chill through her sweater despite the sweat on her forehead. the woman was aware she was staring but for the first time in a long time, she couldn't find the words to address him - she was just staring at him with clearly desperate eyes, the root of that desperation unknown. "i need to, um-" breath shaky, she felt dizzy. "get some water. do you want anything?" breaking her stare, she turned to her bag, overly rummaging in the small thing to pick out her wallet before accidentally dropping it. "fuck." josette was sober yet an onlooker would have assumed she was drunk from how she was behaving.

[jofms]

    an abundance of candles were now being put to good use with the electricity off. the lack of power did make josette’s panic levels rise considerably and she was taking extra precautions when it came to securing her doors. the security of her doors weren’t affected by power but her mind was - if someone got in, she might not be able to see them until it was too late for her. up until this point, josette had felt somewhat better, just because she was being allowed to think but in a way that her mind wasn’t racing. therapy was a work in progress and she’d only attended one session - it being extremely odd to her to be on the other side of it - and her defences had been up. she knew how it worked and couldn’t seem to suspend that knowledge. 

      the candle light was soothing and did help her fall asleep briefly before she awoke once more at the tiniest of creeks. she needed to leave her house to see what was left in the shops, if anything at all. she could easily graze on what she had in her house but medication on an empty stomach was beginning to make her feel nauseous. doing her best to keep calm whilst driving in the dark with only her headlights to rely on, she caught sight of a body lying on the pavement. a part of her would have just continued to drive, unaware of what might transpire - it could be a set up. however, as she passed the person, they were too familiar. “dustin!” josette yelled out to herself as she stepped on the breaks. pushing herself out the vehicle, she made sure to take the key, close the door and lock it behind her so it wouldn’t be stolen. the woman approached someone who she used to call a friend quickly and with shallow breaths. stress was a factor when it came to seizures and she knew that he suffered with them, she’d just never seen it for herself. “shit.” josette whispered to herself as she wiped her lips and then knelt on the floor. “dustin?” the woman didn’t know what to do, didn’t know whether to move him or not. looking up to the sky as if someone was going to give her some kind of answer, she took a breath and put her hand below his nose to check he was still breathing.

@drvgonbvnny​ 

[jofms]

      josette was nervously waiting for someone who she used to be able to call a friend but now she was unsure. the woman had made herself look presentable, professional that seemed to clash far too much with the aesthetic of the creamery - she wanted to show that she could make an effort despite her tired eyes. it wasn’t a case of ‘dressing up’ for dustin, or perhaps it was. jo was trying so desperately to prove she was okay without his shoulder to cry on with a facade of wearing work attire when she wasn’t even working. not only that, it was interview attire, not something she’d dare to sit and counsel in.  there was a chance that dustin wouldn’t show and she had never felt like this before. even when she had been indecent on the pavement, there was a strong hope that he was coming, how he stayed on the phone until her device failed her. the thought of that while she waited was enough to make her tear up. once again, she was focusing on the wrong thing - dustin was there for her but she was really traumatised about that night with matthew. she had cried about it, it was evident to the emergency room team that attended her, but she wouldn’t ever recap it. dustin happened to be willing to attend her and that had been misconstrued as love in her own mind. jo had always felt like she needed connection with people but recently when she had tried, it had sent her into utter panic as she thought back to that night with matthew. it appeared that she now had some intimacy issues that she needed to address. that was just one bullet point on the list. the woman seemed to zone out, hands clasped around her coffee to keep them warm, until she caught sight of a familiar face. “dustin.” her voice was raised but couldn’t be described as shouting. it was an expression of relief but it was quickly overtaken by the fact of reality - that she was no longer on good terms with the other. “you came.” there was the famous repeat.

@drvgonbvnny​