An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Darkwing Duck (Cartoon 1991)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Drake Mallard (Disney), Launchpad McQuack, Original Non-Binary Character, references to other DWD characters
Additional Tags: fic based off a dream, comedic offing of a character, written slapstick comedy, seriously the fic is stylized as if it's an ep, allusions to drakepad, knife throwing and related violence
Summary:
When a strangely noncommittal and low effort villain visits St. Canard, can Darkwing keep his ego as a superhero together long enough to take down... Knife Thrower?
---
Happy birthday Knife Thrower! It’s been 4 years since that dream, and they have still captured the hearts of many duck fans. And to many more (I guess)
I wondered what happened to Fenton in the Darkwarrior universe? I think that probably his fate would have turned out like this
BTW FENTON ALSO CALLS THE DARKWARRIOR DADDY )))))) AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Summary: Down on his luck, the Negaverse Launchpad crashes at Launchpad’s parents looking for help. Launchpad, who has avoided visiting his family since he started working with Darkwing, returns in a panic to ensure his double isn’t causing trouble. And then it gets awkward.
Chapter 1
***
Loopey shuffled her cards back into her deck as Gosalyn rushed past into the kitchen. It seemed she was feeling better, and she was a little bundle of energy. A window slammed. The bolt on the kitchen door rammed across.
“Gos, what are you doing?” Birdie called after her. “Come help shuffle the cards.”
“It’s, um, cold in here.” Gosalyn ran back into the living room, leapt on the sofa, and closed the window behind it.
“The deadbolt isn’t going to keep the wind out, sweetheart.”
The front door crashed back into the wall.
Birdie rolled her eyes. “Every time… Launchpad? Are you alright? What was that explosion?”
A silhouette in a broad brimmed hat moved into the entrance of the living room. For a second, Loopey thought it was Darkwing Duck. She’d seen him a couple of times on television but what was he doing in her parents’ house?
Gosalyn leapt off the sofa and her tiny hands balled into fists. “Negaduck!”
Birdie shot up, wrapped her arms around Gosalyn, and dragged her back. “Stay behind me!”
“Let me go! I’ve got to protect you.”
Negaduck. Darkwing’s enemy. The man who the other Launchpad had worked for. Who he, the rough and burly version of her brother was terrified of. Loopey slowly stood to her feet and put herself between Gosalyn and her mother, and Negaduck.
“Loopey, get back,” said Birdie. Her arms were full with a squirming Gosalyn.
Negaduck lifted a chainsaw and its blade glinted in the overhead light. “Oh, look at this cute little defenceless…”
Loopey raised her fists in a guard. “Back off!”
“Don’t interrupt me, you little…” Negaduck drew in a quick breath. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the Pink Baroness.”
“I… what?”
“Or her double anyway.” Negaduck threw his head back, and laughed. “Oh, man! She’s his sister, isn’t she? It all makes sense now. This night has been full of surprises. It’s not even my birthday!”
Loopey slowly shuffled around in front of the coffee table.
Negaduck began to pace. He wagged a finger at her. “Do you know how much trouble your counterpart has caused me over in the Negaverse these past few months? Announcing my second in command was dead, oh, that must’ve been what pushed her over the edge. That’s why she started being such a nuisance with her little resistance. You know, I’ve been wondering how I should go about killing her. I guess I’m going to get a practice run.” He reached for the starter cord of the chainsaw.
“Then come get me!” Loopey pegged her entire pack of cards into his face.
Negaduck dropped the starter cord, and laughed. Until Loopey darted past him and kicked her shin as hard as she could into his ankle. Negaduck let out a yelp as he dropped to one knee. Loopey ran for the kitchen.
The chainsaw started up. It bit into the entrance hall wall, tearing through photo frames as Negaduck trailed behind her. Thank God, he was following her. Oh crap, he was following her. With a chainsaw.
Loopey slammed into the gun cabinet in the kitchen, and rattled the doors. Locked. Of course. Because it was unsafe and messy for it to be unlocked. She slammed a fist into the doors. “Damn it, Dad!”
“Oh, pink mousy. I’ve got something for you.” The chainsaw roared as Negaduck dragged it through the frame of the kitchen doorway.
Loopey grabbed the knife drawer and ripped the whole thing right out of the kitchen cabinet. She dove to hide behind the central island counter. Time for plan B.
“Aw, are you hiding?” Negaduck carved up the nearest cabinet. Crockery crashed to the floor. “At least put up a fight. I mean, I get the lot of you are just pale comparisons of your Negaverse doubles, but come on. I want my practice run to at least be a little realistic.”
Loopey dug through the knife drawer. “Oh, I reckon I can give you a decent run for your money.”
The chainsaw cut down to an idle. Negaduck ripped open a drawer and riffled through it. “Yeah? What you got, mousy?”
Loopey hissed as her frantic search drew her palm across a blade. But she’d finally found the longest, sharpest knife. She put it out beside her. Then grabbed the one she was sure had cut her and flung it in Negaduck’s general direction. She needed a moment more, and if she could just make him a little wary…
“Clearly you don’t know how to throw a knife. Didn’t your parents teach you anything?”
Loopey kicked over the kitchen broom had dragged it towards her. She wrenched off its head. “Well, lets see. I can pull the tightest loop the loop in the country. I’m halfway through a mechanical engineering degree. I can can fix anything with chewing gum… or… duct tape!” she exclaimed, a little too loudly, as she found a roll of the stuff stashed in one of the floor cupboards beside her.
Negaduck cackled. “Such an intimidating list!” The chainsaw roared back to life.
Loopey pinned her knife to the end of the broom handle, and wrapped the duct tape around and around and around, strapping the two firmly together. “Oh, yeah. And I could MacGuyver stuff since I was five.”
Negaduck reared around the island counter and swung the chainsaw down. It bit into the lower cupboard where Loopey had been a second before. She scooted back and thrust her makeshift spear. It skimmed past the chainsaw blade, just that little bit longer, and the knife sliced into Negaduck’s shoulder.
“Son of a!” Negaduck jerked back. The chainsaw bit through the broom handle and sent the knife spinning away. Negaduck backed up, a hand to his shoulder, the chainsaw idling down by his side. He chugged in deep breaths. “Oh, you are going to pay for that!”
The window behind Loopey shattered. A body wrapped in a purple cape rolled over her head and slammed into the floor, between her and Negaduck. Smoke filled the kitchen as the caped figured unfolded itself.
“I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the awkward family reunion, long overdue. I, am Darkwing Duck!”
The smoke cleared. Darkwing stood in front of her, cape billowing around him. The kitchen door slammed. Negaduck was gone.
Darkwing’s shoulders slumped. “And you just used my smoke bomb as cover to bail. Wonderful. Negaduck doesn’t normally run that easily.” He spun around, a smug look plastered across his beak. “It was a rather intimidating entrance, wasn’t it?”
“Um…” Loopey stared up at the caped superhero. How and why was he standing in her parents’ kitchen? Not that she was ungrateful. “I did also stab him with a kitchen knife.”
Darkwing’s eyebrows shot up. “You… stabbed Negaduck? Remind me never to mess with your family.” He reached out a hand. “Are you alright?”
“I… just fought a guy with a chainsaw.” Loopey grabbed his hand and let him pull her up off the kitchen floor. Now that Negaduck was gone she could feel a faint tremble coming to her hands. “Um, yeah, I’m okay. I think I just made him mad though. You saved my life.” On her feet, she was about a half head taller than him. Huh. Seeing him on TV she’d always thought he was, well, taller.
Gosalyn rushed into the kitchen and threw herself around Darkwing’s middle. “DW, you made it!”
Darkwing got down on his knees and ran a hand through her hair. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. Loopey distracted Negaduck.”
“And don’t you ever do something like that again, young lady.” Birdie ploughed into her daughter and wrapped her arms around her.
“Aw, Mom.”
Birdie pushed her back, and smiled shakily. “Thanks.” She took Loopey’s hand. “You’re hurt.”
“I just cut it on one of the knives.”
“Let me get that patched up.” Birdie turned to Darkwing. “Now what are you doing all the way out here, away from Saint Canard?”
Darkwing ruffled Gosalyn’s hair, remarkably affectionately. “I was… out visiting family nearby. But Darkwing always knows when there’s trouble.”
“I called him!” Gosalyn yelled over the top of him.
“When? You were squirming in my arms the whole time.”
Gosalyn’s eyes narrowed. “I have my ways…”
“Er, luckily your daughter was able to keep Negaduck at bay until I got here,” said Darkwing. You should be proud of her. I’ll stay, if you want, and make sure Negaduck doesn’t come back.”
“That…” said Birdie. “Is probably a really good idea.” She grabbed Loopey by the hand, and started looking for the first aid kid in the mess of the kitchen.
“At least Dad and Launchpad are safely out of the way at the canyon,” said Loopey. “But do you think Drake and the other Launchpad will be okay?”
“Oh, I’m starting to think Drake is just fine,” said Birdie. She chewed her lip. “But Launchpad…”
“We should send a message to him, DW,” said Gosalyn. “Our Launchpad, I mean. Tell him to bring, you know…”
“Gos!”
Birdie finally found the first aid kid in one of the dismembered drawers. She picked it up with a sigh. “Darkwing, we know our son’s been flying that plane of yours, okay?”
Loopey’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, Launchpad works for Darkwing Duck? Oh…” Suddenly, all the times he’d avoided family invitations made sense. Of course he hadn’t wanted to talk to their parents! Not that he couldn’t have, but Launchpad had always been a little funny about stuff like that. He could have at least told his sister though.
Darkwing Duck stiffened. “Wait, you know… that?” he squeaked. Actually squeaked. Suddenly, despite rescuing her from a crazed villain with a chainsaw, he didn’t seem so formidable.
Birdie smiled faintly. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. That’s all the other Launchpad told us.”
***
Telling his story had taken all the energy out of Ripcord. He’d stayed up a little longer, talking to Launchpad, before deciding he was going to bed. He’d set up his sleeping bag at the fireside, right at Launchpad’s feet, and fallen asleep almost immediately.
Alone with nothing but his own thoughts, Launchpad realised he was ravenous. He hadn’t eaten anything since half a sausage and numerous cups of coffee for breakfast. He took the stash of cans to the back of the jeep and picked out a woefully watery tin of tomato soup, then bulked it out with beans, some tins of mixed veggies, and another tin he couldn’t quite see in the dark but was either sardines, anchovies, or smoked mussels. He opened them all as quietly as he could then dumped the whole lot in a saucepan and brought it back to heat on the fire.
Launchpad consumed the whole thing, only slowing when he reached the bottom of the saucepan and had to be careful not to let his spoon clank against the sides, lest he wake his father. The crackle of burning wood, the wind, and his father’s gentle breathing relaxed him. He felt better now, and it was hard to tell if it was because he had a stomach full of warm food, or because Ripcord’s mood and overreaction to the canyon incident finally made sense.
It turned out he hadn’t been the only one keeping secrets. And he couldn’t blame his father for thinking he could get away with never telling him. If Loopey hadn’t crashed in the canyon they may never have had this conversation. And maybe it wouldn’t have mattered.
But now, wide awake and with nothing to do but stare into the fire, Launchpad couldn’t help but wonder what that crash at only five years of age had done to him. Every single crash since then he’d come out practically unscathed. Maybe the universe was making it up to him; maybe it had decided he was invincible. And maybe that crash had actually really hurt him. Now he knew what had happened, he’d always wonder.
Launchpad watched his father’s shoulder steadily rise and fall, close enough to touch, and he felt an ache grow in his chest. He really had a lot of lost time to make up for. With his father quietly sleeping at his feet that no longer felt so scary. He’d always wonder what that crash had done, but he knew for certain he’d never hold it against his dad.
A sound came to him on the night air; a buzz. Launchpad squinted as he tried to make it out. Something slammed into the back of his head. “Ow! Hey!” Launchpad leapt to his feet and swatted at what must be the biggest, bitey-est beetle that had just landed on him and most definitely was not staying a second longer.
The Flashquack spun away from his palm, ploughed into the ground, and then hovered back into the air, a very definite list to its flight pattern. “LP?” DW’s voice came over the speaker. “Are you there? This stupid thing… LP, will you stand still!”
Launchpad grabbed the struggling drone out of the air and cupped it in his hands. “Yeah, DW. I read you. What’s up?”
Ripcord snorted and sat up. “The heck is that?”
“Um, DW? My parents…”
“Know that you’ve been working for me? I know. We can talk about it later. Listen, before I say anything more, everyone is perfectly safe, no one got hurt, but your house got a bit trashed…”
Ripcord stood at Launchpad’s shoulder and rubbed his eyes. “Wait, what’s happening? Why is Darkwing Duck in a tiny aeroplane talking about our house?”
“Dad, that’s what he’s trying to tell us. What did Gosalyn do?”
DW huffed. “Seriously, LP? It was Negaduck. He followed us from Saint Canard. He attacked your family, and…”
Ripcord grabbed Launchpad’s shoulder. “What?!”
“Are they alright?”
“Yes! That’s why I led with that.”
“That bastards here,” Ripcord growled. “What did he do?”
“Came into your house with his chainsaw. It’s okay, I chased him away, after your daughter kept him at bay.”
Loopey’d held off Negaduck. Heck. Launchpad felt his father’s grip tighten on his shoulder. “They’re okay?”
“Yes! Your wife and daughter are fine. That’s why I said that first…”
“Gosalyn, and Drake, and…”
“Yes!”
“What about the other Launchpad?”
DW paused. “We don’t know where he is. You should both get back here. Don’t worry about your family; I’ll protect them.”
“You’d better. It’s going to take us hours to get back, and…”
“Dad! DW, I’ll bring the Thunderquack. We’ll be there in ten minutes. I’ll see you there.”
Ripcord gulped. “How are we supposed to get there in ten minutes?”
Launchpad carefully shifted the damaged Flashquack into one hand, and squeezed his father’s shoulder. “It’s okay. DW knows what he’s doing. Mom and Loopey are going to be fine.”
“I know. But they don’t know where Launchpad is, and after all those stories he told me…”
“He won’t hurt you. We won’t let the happen.”
“I’d like to get my hands on him! I hope the other Launchpad is okay. This is the last thing he needs. If Negaduck’s hurt him…”
Launchpad reached into his jacket and pulled out the remote for the Thunderquack. “DW will take care of Negaduck. He just needs a bit of air support.” Within minutes the whine of the Thunderquack’s engines reached them. Launchpad dropped her straight into the canyon beside Loopey’s plane.
Ripcord put a hand to his aviator’s cap to keep it in place as the engines wound down. “Vertical takeoff… this is what you fly for Darkwing Duck?”
Launchpad let the dust settle. He could finally say it. What he’d wanted to scream into the phone every time his parents called and asked what he’d been doing with his life. “No, Dad. This is the plane I designed, built, and fly for Darkwing Duck.
For a second, Ripcord didn’t seem to know where to stare, at his son or the plane. He ran a hand over the smooth metal, and swallowed hard. Then he slapped a hand onto Launchpad’s shoulder. “Damn kid, you’re smart.”
***
The Gator had long burnt itself out. His shack was dark and Launchpad could only see the outline of the door, his crates, and planks in the ceiling. The shack creaked and groaned, and, every once in awhile, he gasped as he fought to stifle a sob. He’d run out of tears. His back hurt from the ridged position the rope held him in. He couldn’t stay here. But he was stuck; unable to do a thing. Darkwing might protect the McQuacks, but he might fail.
He should have asked for help instead of taking on Negaduck by himself. But that would’ve meant telling the McQuacks Negaduck had threatened them because of him. Even if bringing his own problems along with him was what finally got them to realise he was trouble, to boot him out, it shouldn’t have mattered. He should have put their safety first.
The bloody crate Negaduck had left him on was making some decidedly unpleasant cracking noises. He had to get out of this. But any slight movement made the crate creak and splinter. The last thing Launchpad wanted was the McQuacks to come out here and find him, swinging. They would assume he’d given up. But standing here crying wasn’t going to solve anything either.
Launchpad straightened himself, and the crate creaked. But so did the rafter he was strung to, and the support column, and the entire bloody shack. He tensed his neck muscles and carefully put his weight on the rafter, until he spluttered, and had to let off the pressure around his throat.
“Come on, you stupid thing. I’ve frickin kicked your door in enough times.”
Launchpad inched to the edge of the crate and reached out a boot for the support column. He was short by about a foot. He could reach it, but not while he stayed rooted to he crate. As if to underline that thought, the crate splintered, and Launchpad felt it give ever so slightly under him. “Aw, shit.”
Launchpad gulped, gathered himself, then leapt off the edge of the crate. He aimed a kick at the support column and got his weight onto his boot before it could drop onto the rope. Friction held him there for about a second. The support column groaned, but stayed put. Then he skidded off the column and the noose jerked tight around his neck.
The rope tore into his throat and Launchpad gagged as his air supply cut off completely. It felt like his eyes were popping out of his head. He started to tremble, and then spasm, and then the shack let out one final, aching groan. The central support column tilted over under his weight and the whole thing crashed to the ground on top of him.
***
As soon as Launchpad popped the cockpit Ripcord leapt out and rushed up the front steps of their house. “Birdie!” His wife met him at the front door and he threw his arms around her. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. Can’t say the same for my kitchen cabinets though.”
Launchpad walked into the house he’d grown up in and gulped. The walls of the entrance hall had long ragged gashes that cut right through the family photos that hung there. Glass littered the floor. He knew how destructive Negaduck could be. But this was his home. His fists tensed at his sides.
Darkwing must have seen the look on his sidekick’s face as he came out to meet him. He put a hand on his arm. “LP, you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Launchpad said tersely. “You’ve taken care of everything, yeah?”
“Your family is fine. I don’t know where Negaduck went but your little sister sure gave him something to think about. Only trouble I’ve had is trying to figure out how to make everyone ignore the fact Drake Mallard hasn’t turned back up yet.”
“Launchpad!” Loopey threw her arms around him. Launchpad hugged her back tight. Holding off Negaduck; she must’ve been terrified. But as she extricated herself from his arms, she just fixed him with a glare. “Why didn’t you tell me you were working for Darkwing Duck?”
“I…”
Ripcord pushed past him. “Loopey, your hand…”
“Dad, I’m fine.”
“What the hell was Negaduck doing here?” Ripcord turned his glare onto DW. “And what are you doing here?”
“I think you’re lucky that I was,” Darkwing said coldly.
“Dad, he chased away Negaduck,” said Loopey. “He saved my life.”
Ripcord’s glare softened, then he turned and wrapped his arms around his daughter.
Loopey patted him on the back. “Aw, Dad. We’re all okay.”
Ripcord grunted and pushed her back. “Where’s the other Launchpad? Has anyone looked for him?”
The front door slammed back against the wall as the Negaverse Launchpad shouldered his way inside. He stood in the doorway, breath coming in ragged gasps, hands bound behind his back, and stared at everyone wide-eyed.
***
The Negaverse Launchpad’s chest heaved as his gaze darted around the entrance hall. Mrs McQuack, Loopey, Gosalyn… Launchpad and Mr McQuack were back too. And, Darkwing Duck. They were okay. He hadn’t destroyed this family.
Birdie rushed to him, arms extended. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”
Launchpad fell to his knees at Birdie’s feet and buried his face against her shoulder. “Mrs McQuack, I’m so, so sorry. Negaduck…”
“We know. It’s okay.”
“No! I knew he was here. I knew he was here from this morning, but I thought I could deal with him myself and, please, please don’t be mad at me, I tried to stop him…”
“If you’re mad at him, you have to be mad at me,” Gosalyn spoke up, loudly. “I knew Negaduck was here too!”
A hand squeezed his shoulder. “On your feet, son. You don’t need to beg in this house.”
Launchpad’s legs felt weak, and not only from the strain of standing on that crate for the last few hours. He just wanted to remain in a heap on the floor. But he sniffed and staggered up. Ripcord put his hands on his shoulders and looked him over.
“Here, I’ve got the ropes.” Launchpad knelt behind his double and worked loose the knots that bound his wrists.
Ripcord gently pushed his fingers through the ruffled and torn feathers around Launchpad’s neck. “Did Negaduck do this to you?” He didn’t need to reply. Ripcord put his arms around him. “It’s okay, buddy. I’m going to take care of this for you.”
“Alright, there you go.” Launchpad removed the ropes and tossed them roughly to the side. The Negaverse Launchpad rubbed at his wrists and winced as the blood made its way back into his hands. Launchpad put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey…” And then drew him into a hug. “Sorry I’ve been such a jerk since getting here. It’s okay that you needed help. Sorry I wasn’t here for you.” It wasn’t like he’d never fallen apart in front of this universe’s Launchpad before. Back when they’d been building his plane, when recounting stories about Negaduck had gotten too much, his double had always patted him on the back or put an arm around his shoulders. But he’d never given him a proper hug. Maybe he’d still been scared he was going to get clobbered. But Launchpad got his arms right around him, which not many people could do, and the hug was just as warm as his father’s had been.
Gosalyn ploughed into his knees and hugged him hard.
“Coming through.” And then Loopey had an arm around him too. “That Negaduck is terrifying. He chased me through the kitchen with a chainsaw. Are you okay?”
It finally hit him. No one here was mad at him. Of course they weren’t. He’d screwed up, but it didn’t matter. “I can’t… I can’t stand up to him by myself,” he said shakily. And it hurt to say it, but he knew the McQuack’s wouldn’t hold it against him for being vulnerable.
“You don’t have to,” said Darkwing. “We’re going to get Negaduck out of here, and, you know, if you still want to help…”
Launchpad nodded. “Yeah, I, wait…” He grasped Loopey’s bandaged hand. “Negaduck chased you through the house with his chainsaw? Are you okay?”
Loopey looked him in the eye, and in that split second she looked exactly like his sister. “You should’ve seen what I did to him.”
“You…”
“… stabbed him with a kitchen knife.”
Damn. Somehow, that information made Launchpad feel a bit better. “He’s going to be pissed.”
“Yeah, um, Launchpad… who’s the Pink Baroness?”
Launchpad frowned. “The who?”
“That’s what Negaduck called me. I’m pretty sure he meant your sister. Apparently she’s started some kind of resistance or something?”
A resistance. Loopey was standing up to Negaduck. And here he was hiding in a completely different universe. Launchpad’s chest tightened and tears filled his eyes. The pain he’d been feeling inside suddenly made sense. He wanted to see his sister. And Gosalyn. He wanted to go home.
“Alright,” said Darkwing. “So everyone’s accounted for…”
“What about Drake?” said Birdie with a faint smile.
“I…” Darkwing trailed off.
“Wait, oh!” said Loopey. “Drake is Darkwing Duck?”
Darkwing Duck, masked vigilante, paled under his mask.
Loopey winced. “Are we not supposed to know that?”
Launchpad put a hand to his face. “Oh, DW…”
Darkwing’s shoulders slumped. “Well,” he growled, “like I said, everyone is accounted for now, so…”
“Wait!” said Launchpad, as his hand slid off his face. “Where’s Dad?”
Birdie’s triumphant grin fell. She spun on her heel and bolted for the kitchen. The Negaverse Launchpad followed her, along with everyone else. They found her standing in front of the open gun cabinet. The gun cabinet that Ripcord was always careful enough to lock behind him. He’d shown it to the Negaverse Launchpad when he’d first arrived. Told him that whatever else he decided to play with out there, the shotgun was here for their protection, and was to be used for that and that alone.
Birdie stared at the empty cabinet and swallowed hard. “Oh, Rip. No.”
