is it weird that i'm able to feel sexual attraction sometimes (it happened with like 1 or 2 people) but regardless i still don't WANT to act upon it for some reason (which i don't really understand)?? can i still identify as ace on this basis?
Well, there are a few orientation labels that fall along those lines:
Aco-/Acor-“Experiencing attraction that one wants to act on, but at the same time having a strong aversion to engaging in it due to bad experiences, apprehension, trauma, or other misgivings about being involved in romantic relationships or sexual activity, etc.” (Link to info)
Neuroa-/Neuro A-“Feeling attraction or wanting to participate in actions associated with a type of attraction, but you are scared of, repulsed by, or averse to them due to being (or relating to being) neuroatypical, neurodiverse, or mentally ill.”
Dysphorasexual“Capable of feeling sexual attraction (consistently or not,) but sex repulsed/averse due to the act of sex triggering dysphoria.”
These all include and specify reasons, so I would guess it depends on the specific reason behind your aversion to engage in sexual activities.
It’s also possible that you’re allosexual, but sex-repulsed/averse- which means you’d experience sexual attraction without limitations (aside from gender), but you experience aversion or repulsion toward sexual acts and subjects. You could also be sex-neutral, which means you feel neutral toward sexual acts and subjects.
It also sounds from the “it happened with 1 or 2 people” like you may not experience sexual attraction without limitations, which could place you on the spectrum, but under “grey-asexual” rather than all the way at the “asexual” end.
In the end, it’s up to you. You know yourself best, and you know what labels fit you and your experiences. If you feel that you’re asexual, or that you’re somewhere on the ace-spec, you’re absolutely free to call yourself ace.
If it ends up that you aren’t ace, that’s okay, too. It’s good that you’re questioning it and going through this process at all, and you’re welcome to use whatever labels you feel fit you best in the meantime.
