I'm feeling really bad. Devastated. I don't want to lose the person that changed my destiny.
It happened by mere casualty. Not long ago (not even 3 months ago), that I knew the most awesome, empathetic and caring person I've ever met.
The most mentally stable and strong person that crossed its life path with mine, decided to become my guardian, and not to judge such an emotional and unstable being as myself.
Just some weeks after that, we began to plan our future together. Living place, children, pets, decorations. Everything.
We are commited to each other. We know we belong to each other. We love each other, unconditionally.
We don't live close, so it's cool to plan the reuniting trip. It's something we both cherish and enjoy. Distance is painful, but the reunion is wonderful. Missing each other is just as necessary, as the countless kisses that we spread on the lips and bodies of each other, when we reunite.
But… a week from now, everything changed. My partner got really sick, so he had to rest all the time. No more communication for a whole day, that I really thought he was about to leave me. Well, didn't thought all by myself, my fatalistic thoughts wanted me to fall again on the pit of despair, and I let'em do it…
On the night, after I apologized for being so dramatic and he apologized for not having contacted me in the whole day, he explained me about his bad health condition. After I heard how was he feeling, I begged him to go to visit the doctor.
He did the next day, indeed. However, I'll give you one hint of the following events: private healthcare (insurance he had bc of working in an American company, even if he was living in Spain for a year now).
They didn't diagnosed him well. The worst part, as a nursing student myself, I already knew what did he had. His audios were the proof I needed to «diagnose» him with pneumonia, as I did had many patients connected to ventilatory support machines, so became quite perceptive to determine the state of lungs by hearing someone's breathing.
So, half a week after that, he ended up (finally) in a public hospital (bc his roommate called an ambulance). Long story short, as fast as the ambulance stepped the hospital, he ended up in the ICU, bc his lungs were so damaged that he needed to be intubated.
Now my Sun is battling for his own life, connected to an ECMO bc his lungs need to recover from the cursed infection, and its main reason is the bullshit that the sick asshole the American Citizens cherish as their President, spread as "the salvation against comunism": having an inaccessible private healthcare.
Understand me. I'm not a racist. My Sun is American too. I just despise everything your cursed system made to my partner.
I trust he's gonna win. Come on, no one that has defeated many times the God of Hyperdeath can lose its Determination against something as a damned infection, isn't it? So I keep my Hope.
He's critical but stable. That's really dangerous, but strong people survives, and I know he's strong. Also, he promised me a whole future together. He promised that he won't leave me, and I believe him.
Maybe I'm just being delusional… maybe I'm trying to repeat myself over and over again that he's stronger than the illness, when it's always 50/50 against any medical condition… But, by the other hand, I really want to believe that we have so many battles to fight together, as teammates and partners.
I guess I only have left to say something like "stay tuned", even if I'm only writing all of this to drain a bit my ruminating and to calm a bit the bad mental condition I'm having rn.
Thank you guys for staying and for reading it. That means a lot to me.